Anonymous had been transported from the Crystal Empire to Ponyville yesterday. He was now waiting in one of the numerous vacant rooms in Twilight’s castle. They had spent the day repeatedly asking Temptress if she could really deal with Anonymous. Temptress had reassured them every time that she only needed five minutes to straighten him out.
She still only had what she called ‘underwear’ on her body, made from fresh bandages, though she had added some to her hands and feet. Now she was adding yet another layer.
“Anon is in that room,” Twilight said. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Temptress rolled her eyes. “You seem to forget that I’m also a human.” Twilight looked confused. “I’m immune against his vile attacks.”
“Oh yeah!” Rainbow Dash yelled from the group of friends standing nearby. “I want to see that!”
“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.” Celestia stepped in to block her. “As you’re the Element of Loyalty, we can’t risk you or your friends being corrupted by him.”
“Oh please!” The cocky speedster waved her off. “I’m too awesome for that.”
“I think you should stay with us, Rainbow,” Fluttershy chimed in and stepped next to her friend. “If the princess is worried…” She didn’t need to say more as the other pegasus let out a defeated sigh.
“Also, Twilight wants us here as backup.” Applejack laid a reassuring hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “Ya know, in case he tries to run away again.”
Pleased that Twilight’s friends were under control, Celestia turned to the human. “As soon as you’re in, I will soundproof the room. You won’t be able to come out until the five minutes are over.”
“I understand, Princess. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my end of the deal,” she assured Celestia with a smile.
“We would provide food, lodging, and anything else you would need regardless of whether you succeed or not.”
“I know,” she chirped, “but I totally want to do this now. I mean, he has to be a real jerk to be so nasty to nice folks like you.”
“Well shucks,” Applejack exclaimed. “Thank ya kindly, ma’am. It’s nice to meet a non-evil human too.”
Rarity separated from the rest, a gleam in her eyes. She motioned for Temptress to lean down so she could whisper in her ear. “I know what you’re planning. Give him one from me too, will you, darling?”
“With pleasure.” Temptress stood back up, jumping a few times on the spot. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”
Celestia nodded towards her sister and Cadance, all ready to jump in should Anonymous try anything. The female human stepped through the crack in the double doors as the golden aura of the princess opened them. With a mighty bang, they closed again right behind her. In all this, nobody noticed that a certain chromatic pegasus had slipped away. Out of one open window, and in again through another, she now could watch Temptress stepping inside the room.
Anon was there too. He sat on a couch, jerking to his feet when the door closed rather firmly. “Oh!” His eyes wandered over the approaching female with unhindered lust, and Rainbow’s sharp eyes noticed a small bulge building up in his pants. A really small bulge that could also just be his trousers shifting as he waddled on the spot. He took off his ugly hat, and his hand went through his greasy hair. “Well, aren’t you a nine out of ten.” He grinned, showing off his crooked teeth. “I’m so going to bang you into the floor.”
His hand wandered to the tie he had around his neck and started to loosen it, which was probably his saving grace. When Temptress was in range, she grabbed the tie and yanked at it. Anonymous’ trembling belly now pressed against Temptress’ toned one. “Oh, rather agress…” A faint wheeze could be heard, like air escaping from a balloon. “…ive,” Anon finished and collapsed to the ground.
“Oh shut up, you fat fuck!” Rainbow couldn’t believe her ears, which were burning like mad from the mental attack. “Tricking these poor ponies in trying to get you a living fleshlight. Don’t you have any dignity at all?” Her right foot violently slammed into Anonymous’ side, forcing even more air out of him. “Now I’m stuck here too, thanks to you. The white goddess out there nearly roasted me alive because I cursed!” Rainbow grimaced as Temptress’ fist came down on his nose, a loud crack echoing in the room. “That’s for destroying Princess Celestia’s vase collection.” The fist came down again. “That’s for eating her cake.” And again. “For stealing Luna’s favourite katana.” And again. “For shaving Rarity’s cat.” Rainbow squeezed her eyes shut. “For destroying Rainbow’s house.” And her eyes promptly flew open again. “For…” Temptress halted her assault. “Okay, that one was funny. For the bad impression you made on humanity.”
Huffing and puffing, the female rose. “This is my turf now. I don’t want to ever see you again. If I even catch a hint of your stink near me, we'll continue this. Am I clear?”
“All I wanted was a girlfriend,” Anonymous whimpered.
“Then get in shape, wash your damn body, and go out there instead of sitting around all day playing with your junk. You don’t need to be stacked with muscles, you know. Women just want a halfway decent-looking guy. And whatever else you’re missing, you can make up with charisma and being interesting and funny. But first you need to get a life, you fucking weirdo!” She kicked him again, this time on the ass. “Now get lost! The door’s over there.”
Anon flopped around like a fish for a moment before getting to his feet and sprinting towards the direction Temptress pointed. He reached out to open the double doors, only for them to remain firmly shut, causing his head to collide with the wood. He slumped down onto the floor, unconscious.
“That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow flew down and landed in front of Temptress. “Did you see his face? The fat fucking bastard had it coming. I mean, fuck, girl! You punch like a bull! You have to show me your moves some time. I mean, that couldn’t have been the last fucking idiot who’ll try something funny. Fuck!” Rainbow then noticed that the female didn’t move. Instead, one of her hands just pointed behind her. Rainbow turned.
There, in the now open doorway, stood all the princesses, even Cadance with little Flurry Heart on her back, together with the rest of their friends. Scootaloo and the other two Crusaders were there as well. Celestia didn’t seem very pleased as she stepped over Anonymous’ body.
“Ah, you can all suck a—”