Glimpses of Regret

by SC_Orion


Chapter 4

Celestia stared at the scroll in front of her, eyes were almost glazed over, not bothering to read it, but simply thinking. Try as she did, all of her thoughts meandered back to the broken, nonresponsive state Twilight was in. While nopony besides her sister, Cadance, and herself really knew of Twilight's state, the guards and castle staff knew something was up, if only because she struggled to focus like she once did, and her smile wasn't quite as bright as normal, nor was the same mirthful twinkle in her eyes when she smiled. And so, it was with that inability to focus, her thoughts constantly drifting back to Twilight, that left her feeling tired and foggy, at least when it came to the workings of government.

Despite her best efforts to avoid worrying too much about Twilight, most of her attention focused on her. There were questions she needed answered, problems she needed to solve, and worries she needed reassured. While her best efforts to hide how she felt fell short, and her mind was weighed down by the burden of Twilight's distress, she still needed to put her best into something. She knew that as long as Twilight remained so passive and hurt, she wouldn't be able to focus like she needed to.

She shared in Twilight's pain. Maybe it wasn't the same way, and she didn't know all of the details like Twilight did, nor had she experienced what Twilight did, but that didn't matter. Twilight was hurting, and that only hurt her. Twilight had been her student, her confidant, her greatest accomplishment, even over the peace that Equestria enjoyed. Twilight was her champion, somepony she knew that could look out for Equestria, but Twilight was more than her student and champion. Twilight was her friend, and more importantly, Twilight was family.

Sure, she may not have been Twilight's mother or related to her in any way, save for both of them being alicorns, and Twilight being an alicorn through her help, but the fact remained that she could never think of Twilight as anything less than family. A smile pulled at her lips as she thought back to when Twilight had been a filly under her wing, literally, telling her all about the magic she had learned and practiced that day, or that week. The twinkle in her eye, and the excitement in her voice, it was something she'd always treasure.

But now, it was gone. And like that, her smile faded. She blinked and sighed, then slowly shook her head to break herself out of her musings on the past. Something needed to be done.

But, none of her options felt right. She would try her best to help Twilight and Rainbow, but there was no guarantee that they'd get back together, or that either of them wanted that, but she just wanted Twilight to be happy. If it wouldn't make Twilight happy, then she wouldn't try to help them get back together, but if she could help her in any way, she would try her best.

From a less altruistic standpoint, she still needed Twilight and Rainbow to be, at the very least, friends. Or, perhaps not friends, as just able to be around each other. Twilight and her friends were the protectors of Equestria, more so than even Luna and herself, after all. It could be bad, not just from the joy and happiness they would have lost, but for all of Equestria, if they didn't patch things up.

Thinking like that left her mood sour, rather than sad, and it was worse than the heaviness that weighed on her heart from their pain.

She shook the thought aside and refocused on the scroll before her. She skimmed over it, then glanced at the inkwell on her desk and levitated the long, white feather from it to sign her name on the form.

Her eyes drifted towards the stack of papers on her desk, and her lips pulled into a grimace. Any normal day, she could look at such a pile with enthusiasm, at least knowing she could take care of it, even if it would be stressful, but it wasn't a normal day. It hadn't been a normal day for a while.

At the sound of a hoof gently knocking on her door, she lifted her head up and swiveled her ears around towards the source. As with before, she could recognize it as Cadance's knock. A part of her felt fear at the sound, not knowing what news Cadance would bring, and another part of her felt a glimmer of hope.

She nibbled on her lip as she put the quill back in its inkwell. Fighting past her anxiety, she stood up from her desk and slowly walked across her study towards the door. To her surprise, the knocking came again. She didn't think she had walked that slowly, but the knock was enough proof that she was wrong.

With one last swallow and inhale, she used her magic to open the door. She mustered what smile she could as Cadance came into sight. Much to her relief, Cadance had a smile on her lips. It was weak, but it was there, and it meant that her hope wasn't futile. "Cadance," she greeted softly. "How is... Twilight?" she asked cautiously.

Cadance's smile grew a little, and she turned her head to the right. A few seconds passed in silence, leaving Celestia to ponder if perhaps Cadance's smile was forced, rather than genuine as it appeared, but then, there was a quiet hoofstep. Her heart beat faster in her chest, and the next few seconds felt like an eternity before the next step came. After that, the next few steps were quicker, but still spaced out and unsure.

Eventually, the edge of Twilight's muzzle drifted into view as she shuffled over to Cadance's side. Celestia smiled. Twilight was there, with Cadance. Twilight kept her head pointed down, and her eyes lingered on the floor. She stayed silent and stood close beside Cadance. "Twilight?"

Twilight clenched her jaw, but after a few seconds, it relaxed. She gradually lifted her head up, but her eyes lingered on the floor, then slowly traced along Celestia's legs, until stopping at her chest. She avoided eye contact and swallowed. She opened her mouth to say something, but as soon as she did so, the words escaped her grasp. Celestia could see it in her eyes, and her smile slowly faded. Seconds passed, then Twilight closed her mouth and looked back down at the floor, her eyes still haunted.

Cadance bit her lip and extended a wing out to Twilight, then laid it over her back. She looked at Twilight with a crestfallen expression, then turned back to face Celestia. "She... wants to talk to Rainbow. I told her that Rainbow went back to Ponyville-" Twilight closed her eyes, "-and told her that I'd take her back to Ponyville after she finished eating something."

Celestia relaxed at that. Even if Twilight wasn't as full of life as before, it was a step, and it was a step that lifted some of the weight from her chest. She nodded. "Has she ate yet?"

Cadance nodded. "She just finished... I figured it would be best to tell you in person," she explained.

Celestia nodded. "Yes, thank you, Cadance..." she trailed off and looked at Twilight. "Can... Twilight? Can we talk... alone?" she asked softly.

Twilight shifted her weight and looked up at her, then glanced at Cadance. Cadance met her gaze, and after a second, retracted her wing and folded it to her side.

"It won't take long," Celestia said softly.

Twilight nodded, then shuffled into the room. As if by instinct, she headed for a plush red rug near the fireplace, never once lifting her head up. Celestia swallowed and licked her lips, then looked at Cadance. Cadance grimaced and held in a sigh.

Celestia opened her mouth to speak but hesitated. Eventually, she settled on slowly pushing the door closed with her magic. For a few seconds, she lingered where she stood, then she turned and walked over to sit down beside Twilight. "Twilight? I... know this is hard for you, but... I'm here for you if you need anything," she offered.

Twilight nodded slowly, acknowledging it, but yet she looked as if it had gone in one ear and gone out through the other.

Celestia sighed, then pulled Twilight to her with a wing and hugged her. Twilight pressed herself into her hug, and eventually returned it. Celestia wrapped her wings around her and held her in silence for several seconds. Eventually, Twilight weakly pushed against her, which Celestia took as her cue to release her, which she did, but only hesitantly. When they parted, Twilight continued to avoid looking at her. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she offered.

Twilight slowly turned her head to the side. "I don't know..." she said quietly. A few seconds passed, and she reluctantly looked up at Celestia. "You... talked to her, didn't you?"

Celestia nodded.

Twilight swallowed and looked away from her again. "What... d-did she say?"

Celestia instinctually wrapped her wings around Twilight to comfort her again. Like before, Twilight pressed herself into Celestia's chest. "She... she's scared, Twilight... she knows that she messed up..." she replied. She nuzzled Twilight's mane and simply held her.

"Th-that's what C-Cadance s-said..." Twilight whimpered. She sniffled, and her body shuddered as she inhaled. She shook as she exhaled, and even with Celestia's wings embracing her, her body trembled. A soft, high-pitched whimper escaped her throat. Celestia's ears pinned back, and the sound made her own eyes burn. She pulled Twilight against her harder and put more strength into her hug.

"I-I want t-things t-to-to work o-ou-out..." Twilight stuttered between shuddering breaths, "b-but I-I don't... k-know how..."

Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself, then she lifted her head from Twilight and looked down at her. She put on a gentle smile to reassure the young alicorn, and she used a hoof to coax her head up to look at her. Twilight fought her, but in the end, relented and looked up at her. Though the tears in her eyes and wet streaks down her face made her heart ache, she kept the smile on her lips. "You're going to Ponyville to talk to her, aren't you?" she asked softly.

Twilight nodded.

"That's what you do, Twilight," she said softly. She smiled a little more. "You talk to her... it'll be hard on both of you, but... if you really want to, you can work through this and make it work... I know that she hurt you... and... it might be hard to forgive her-"

Twilight looked away from Celestia. "I-I... already d-do..." she whispered.

Celestia stayed silent for a moment, then nodded solemnly. "Then... tell her that," she offered quietly. "But... it may not be enough for her," she cautioned. "I... saw how much it hurt her, Twilight, and I know she hurt you, but... she hurt herself too. Please be careful..."

Twilight nodded timidly.

"It... will take time, and... Twilight, you're still hurting... that... won't just go away overnight, or through one conversation..." Celestia added.

"I know..." Twilight whispered.

Celestia tightened her embrace of Twilight again and held her like that for a few seconds, then she let up on her. Twilight swallowed and slowly pulled back from Celestia. "I'm sure you probably want to get to Ponyville, so... if... you don't want to talk about anything else, I won't keep you any longer... just know that if you need anything, I will help you as much as I can, Twilight. I'll go ahead and send a letter to Spike telling them that you're coming back to Ponyville with Cadance."

"Thanks..." Twilight replied. A few seconds passed before Twilight stood up, then shuffled back towards the door, barely lifting her hooves up with each step.

Celestia watched her and held in a sigh as her ears folded back again. She slowly rose to her hooves, then closed the distance to Twilight and walked beside her. She laid her wing over Twilight's back and escorted her to the door, then opened it.

When the door opened, Cadance turned to look at them. Her warm smile dimmed as she looked at Celestia's tear-stained chest and Twilight's puffy eyes. Twilight slowly left the room, pausing only briefly to look back at Celestia, before standing beside Cadance.

"Please take care of her," Celestia pleaded.

Cadance nodded, then draped her wing over Twilight. "Come on... let's head to the train station," she coaxed.

For a few seconds, Celestia stood in the doorway, watching them depart. Once they turned the corner and were out of sight, Celestia retreated into her room, closed the door, sat down, and let out a long sigh.


Princess Luna eyes wondered over the building before her. In broad daylight, the building was far less appealing and noticeable than at night, with the neon signs barely registering, yet it was still without a doubt a bar. The structure contrasted with most of Canterlot's architecture, where most of the walls were marble with small, multi-paned glass windows, instead, the bar had a large open glass window in front, filled with neon signs, although the walls were still constructed from marble. Behind the glass window were blinds that were closed, denying a view inside of the facility.

Of course, there were many bars in Canterlot, and this one was just another one of those countless bars, but it was special. It took some investigating and searching, but eventually, she had determined that this particular bar was the one that Rainbow frequented, and, she hoped, was the one she had visited that night.

She had questions that needed answers, something her sister had said was bothering her.

With that in mind, she casually opened the door with her magic and walked on inside. Looking around, the first thing she noticed was the atmosphere. Despite it being broad daylight out, the lighting inside was dim, with the light coming from dim overhead lights and coming in through the closed blinds. The floor and walls inside were wood, rather than marble, perhaps as an attempt to negate the perhaps too upper-class feeling that the city naturally gave off.

There were a dozen or so small, round tables positioned sporadically throughout the room, and most of them were unoccupied, while a few booths near the walls held the few remaining occupants of the room. Nopony seemed to particularly mind her presence as she closed the door behind her. After another cursory glance around the room, she spotted the counter and barkeep, who, unlike the patrons, seemed surprised to see her here.

She casually strolled over to the counter. As she neared, she gave a quick glance over the stools set up for ponies to sit on, which were all a bit small for her, so when she reached the counter, she stood rather than taking a seat.

The bartender hesitantly set down the glass he was wiping clean, then approached her. His coat was a dusty, tannish brown, but clean, and his mane, a darker shade of brown, hung casually from his head. "Uh... Princess Luna?"

Luna nodded in acknowledgment. "I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me," she replied, her voice taking on a formal tone.

For several seconds, the stallion's muzzle scrunched up in confusion, but nonetheless, he nodded. "Uh, right. Sorry, where are my manners... I'm Apricot. You uh... wanted to ask me some questions?"

Luna nodded and offered him a smile to try to put him at ease. "Yes. It has come to my attention that Rainbow Dash frequents this establishment," she said.

The stallion nodded slowly. "Uh, yeah, she does..." he trailed off unsurely. "What's this about anyway? I mean I know she's engaged to Princess Twilight Sparkle, but uh... why exactly are you here?"

"I wish to inquire about what happened the last time she was here," she stated simply. "Specifically, did she meet somepony here?"

The bartender grimaced. "Uh, yeah. Some mare. I've never seen her here before, but she acted like she knew Rainbow Dash, although Rainbow didn't seem to know her... but I guess that's not surprising? I mean, everypony knows about all of them."

Luna studied the stallion's expression and posture, which brought a frown to her lips. "Do you remember what she looked like?"

The stallion instantly winced. "Sorry... no. That night's kind of one big blur for me... I'm surprised I can remember the mare at all," he lamented. He looked down at the counter and slowly shook his head. "I didn't even have that much to drink, either..." he muttered.

"You don't remember the night clearly?" Luna asked. He nodded and offered an apologetic smile. "Did anything out of the ordinary happen?"

"Uh... I don't really remember," he answered. He frowned and looked aside. "It seems like somepony bought me a drink, though. It tasted a bit off, now that I think about it..." he trailed off. "But other than that, I can't recall anything out of the ordinary..."

"What do you mean? The drink did not taste right?" Luna asked.

"Well, I mean, I know what everything tastes like here. I don't remember what it was, but I know that it didn't quite taste right like it was supposed to. Probably had another drink mixed into it, but it seemed unfamiliar," he explained. "I'm probably just remembering wrong," he sighed.

Luna mulled it over and nodded cautiously. "And what of the mare and Rainbow Dash?"

"Oh, sorry," he apologized. "Right, uh... I'm pretty sure she bought drinks for Rainbow and herself, and they talked for a bit." He paused. "Normally Rainbow doesn't socialize with ponies here..." he mused. He inhaled and shook his head.

"Do you remember anything else? About their interactions or anything?"

"Ah, no... Sorry, Princess," he answered. "Well, it's probably not important, but I did wake up feeling like crap the next morning. A massive headache, felt like the whole planet was spinning..." he muttered.

Luna's brow creased. "Can you elaborate further?"

The stallion bobbed his head. "It... well, it was like a hangover, but I haven't had a hangover that bad in years. I know my limits, and I avoid them, so I have no idea how that happened..." he said.

"Did Rainbow perhaps leave her table sometime during the evening while the other mare was still there?" Luna queried.

The stallion was silent for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah... I think so?" he asked. "It seems like she went to the restroom, but I don't remember... she normally does use the restroom sometime during her stay."

Luna nodded and licked her lips. "And did she seem... normal after she came back?"

The bartender nodded. "I think so? She didn't act off or anything... Although she did act kinda odd later after she had a couple of drinks with that mare. The two of them left together, I think?"

Luna nodded slowly. "Off how?"

The stallion winced. "Just... loopy? Sort of like she was drunk, but I don't think she drank that much... and it wasn't how she normally acts when she was drunk... Sorry, I'm not good at this sort of thing, and I can't remember that much..."

Luna shook her head. "That is alright. I don't suppose there is anything else you could tell me?" she asked. "I already have an idea, but... I do not like it," she grumbled.

"Sorry... but that night really is just... I can't remember it very well. It's all foggy and hazy and... all that." He frowned. "Something... uh, wrong?"

Luna nodded. "Yes," she answered. "But thank you for your time," she said. With that, she teleported a couple of bits to her and set them on the counter. The barkeep smiled his thanks as she turned and headed towards the door. As soon as she stepped out into the sunlight, she scowled, lit her horn, and teleported away.

With a sharp crack and a flash of dark blue light, she appeared in Celestia's study. "Sister?" she called without pausing.

Celestia looked up from her desk and stood up. She smiled at Luna and turned to face her. "Luna? What brings you here today?"

Luna bobbed her head and took a few steps towards her sister. "How is Twilight doing?"

Celestia's smile faded, then after a second, returned. "She's..." she trailed off and pursed her lips. "Cadance got through to her," she stated. "She managed to get her to react, and she actually ate something according to Cadance."

"That is good news," Luna acknowledged. "Are they still-"

"Twilight wanted to go to Ponyville to talk to Rainbow," Celestia replied. She studied Luna's gaze, and Luna nodded solemnly. Unlike before, she could just barely find any hints of anger or disapproval. "So Cadance is escorting her back to Ponyville. I already sent them a letter telling them about that, and a few minutes later I received a response saying that they've already talked to Rainbow and know about... that..." she trailed off as her smile faded to nothing more than a memory.

Luna grimaced. "Ah, yes... on that subject..." she trailed off. "I... believe we may have a problem," she stared. She pursed her lips and slowly walked over to the balcony. Celestia's head turned to follow her as she walked past, then opened the door. As Luna walked out onto the balcony, Celestia followed behind her. "Something you had said was bothering me," she stated. Celestia came to a stop beside her, so she turned to look up at her. "About not liking this because of everypony knowing about them," she specified.

Celestia inclined her head and watched her curiously. "Yes. I thought it was strange that anypony would... do that, considering that they're engaged," she acknowledged.

Luna inclined her head and grimaced. "I... did some investigating. It wasn't truly that difficult to track down the bar that Rainbow had visited, but I am... concerned," she stated. She turned her head and looked out over Canterlot. The city stood proudly atop the mountain, like a jewel adorning a crown. "I spoke with the barkeep, who informed me that Rainbow did meet a mare there, but... his account has made me suspect something more. For one, he does not recall that night very well, and he said as much to me. He also said that he did not intoxicate himself to the level required for the hangover that he had the next morning, in addition to Rainbow acting off compared to how she normally acts," she stated.

Celestia frowned. "What are you saying..?" she asked quietly.

Luna grimaced. "I may be jumping to conclusions, and I don't have much to back it up, but upon reflection, I agree that this entire ordeal seems suspect. Unless both Rainbow and that mare were drunk, it seems unlikely that they would have slept together, and even then... it seems suspect. I... am concerned that there is something else at play." She shook her head. "Were it not for the bartender saying that somepony gave him a drink which tasted off, and the entire night was difficult for him to remember, I may not be so suspicious."

"You think they were drugged?" Celestia asked.

Luna was silent for a moment. "It may be a possibility," she stated. "I do not know of Rainbow's tolerance for alcohol, and while she was clearly suffering from the aftereffects of intoxication when I arrived, it would be wise to at least consider this possibility..." she said at length.

Celestia winced. "I... would prefer that Rainbow had been drugged to make her more susceptible over simply being intoxicated to the point that she cheated on Twilight," she admitted, "but that is also worrisome. If somepony drugged Rainbow, and perhaps the bartender to cover her tracks, what does that mean? I can think of several reasons, and I don't like any of them..."

Luna nodded in agreement. "It is concerning... perhaps it would be wise for me to investigate this matter further."

Celestia nodded. "Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I think I will pay the Tree of Harmony a visit..."

Luna turned to look at Celestia. "You... believe that this was an attempt to break the bonds they share to prevent them from using the Elements of Harmony?"

"I don't know," Celestia replied. "I don't like this, and with what you've told me, I feel... worried." She smiled and shook her head. She looked down at the floor. "I'm probably just being silly, aren't I? Latching on to whatever I can just so I don't have to face the possibility that Rainbow willingly cheated on Twilight..."