//------------------------------//
// Teaching Dogs New Tricks 
// Story: The Misadventures of a Fox 
// by LucidDreamer 
//------------------------------//

Dustin had received directions to what he was assured was the smartest, most organized pony in Ponyville.  Someone who could certainly help him figure out a lesson plan, or find someone who would be willing to help.
His only gripe?  The fucking beehive on the tree.  He had an irrational fear of bees, anything that looked like them...or anything that buzzed, really.  And knowing it was irrational didn’t help him get over it any faster.
Still, apparently this Twilight knew what she was doing, so...with a careful eye on the beehive, he edged closer to the door of the tree-library and knocked.
“Just a moment!” A call came from inside the literal treehouse. There was a clopping of hooves on wood and the library door opened to reveal a purple unicorn. She a dark purple mane with a streak of pink and lighter purple running through it. Her Cutie Mark was a pink six-pointed star, with a second white star behind it, all this was surrounded by five more stars. The mare looked up at Dustin with bright violet eyes. “Oh, you must be Dustin!” She said happily. “I’m sorry that we haven’t had the chance to meet yet. Come in, come in!” She stepped back to let the fox inside.
“Thanks, this promises to be a pretty lengthy trip,” the fox said, ducking inside the door.  “Being the boss of the local Diamond Dog mine means a lot of administrative duties, but I have a few promises to keep that I was told you could help me with.”
“I understand.” Twilight nodded and gestured to the chairs and couch in the middle of the room.. “Please, take a seat anywhere. Can I get you anything, coffee, tea?”
“Tea would be lovely, but I already had a few cups of black tea at Rarity’s,” Dustin replied as he made himself comfortable in a chair.  “If you have any good herbal tea, it would be a delight.”
“Oh I have a wonderful green tea that I’m sure you’ll love.” Twilight said happily with a clop of her hooves. She raced off into an area that was sectioned off by a curtain. “Let me just turn on the kettle.”
“Fair enough, it’ll give me time to get my list prepared,” Dustin replied as he pulled out a pad of paper and flipped through it.  “Hmm...okay, found it.”
Twilight came back out of what Dustin assumed was the kitchen. “Sorry, I’d have Spike help but he’s spending the day with his mom in Canterlot.” She trotted over to to Dustin. “So, what can I help you with?”
“Most of the dogs are young and illiterate,” Dustin supplied.  “They know how to do math, and how to read blueprints, but reading and writing are beyond them.  As well, they could use someone to help teach them about rocks, of all things.  So, if you know anyone who wouldn’t mind helping the dogs become educated a bit more, I could really use the help.”
“Oh, of course.” Twilight nodded as she looked over Dustin’s paperwork. “I think I know somepony that would be happy to work with you. She’s a little eccentric though.”
“Hey, as long as she’s willing to work with the dogs, I won’t mind,” the fox replied, pulling out a pencil.  “So, who is it?”
“Lyra Heartstrings.” Twilight said with a nervous smile. “You may have heard about her.”
“Not really, I don’t get out much except to the mine,” the fox replied, writing the name down.  “Okay.  She’d be willing to help out the dogs?  Not for free, of course.  I’d pay her a bit of money for her trouble, coming from what the mine’s making now.”
“Oh, great!” Twilight brightened. “I believe she would. She’s currently out of work, so all you need to do is ask her.”
“Where does she live?” Dustin asked.  “I’d like to try and get the dogs educated as soon as possible.”
“Let me get you the address.” Twilight said, trotting over to a desk with paper, a quill, and an inkwell on it.
“Thanks for this,” the fox sighed.  “I made so many promises to the dogs, I want to live up to them and give them inspiration, a reason to keep going.  They’ve had a string of stupid bosses, I want to show them not everyone’s out to get them.”
“I’ll be sure to make time to come and see this mine of yours. We didn’t get to see much when we were saving Rarity from part of it.” Twilight smiled. “Anything else I can help you with?”
“No, that’s pretty much it, thanks,” Dustin replied.  “It’s kind of been weighing on me...althooooough, if you could get word out that the dogs aren’t hostile and actually have things like aluminum to trade, that’d help.  Of course, if any pony tried to take it for less than its value, they’d find that the dogs aren’t as dumb as they might look.”
“Ooooooo! Aluminum!” Twilight cooed. “I’ll be sure to let ponies know!”
“Thank you,” Dustin said, before he felt his ears perk up.  “Kettle’s ready,” he informed the mare, just before the whistling sound reached her.





"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Lyra Heartstrings bounced around Dustin’s legs like a happy puppy. “I won’t let you down!”
“You’ve been saying that.” Geralt chuckled furrowed his brow in thought. “For about half an hour I’d say.”
“I’m just so excited! I, Lyra Heartstrings, get to teach Diamond Dogs!” Lyra giggled happily.
Finding the mare hadn’t been hard. Neither was asking her to come teach at the mine. Dustin really didn’t get what was so weird about her. Sure she was excitable, but beyond that, he didn’t notice anything. On their way out of town, as Lyra wanted to get a feel for things and possible start teaching immediately, the pair had bumped into Geralt. Who in turn, wanted to come along to see what could have been to quote the large wolf himself.
“We’ll probably have to tell them to dig out a schoolroom for you,” Dustin pointed out.  “So that you have a space to teach them in.  But thankfully, they got a proper entrance done and are working on building a trading station.  They’re fast workers when they’re motivated.  It’ll probably only take a few days.”
“That’s great!” Lyra grinned. “I can’t wait!”
“Unintentional rhyme.” Geralt chuckled. “So, basically she’s just going for a basic meet and greet until the schoolroom gets done?” He hummed in thought. “Mmmm… A thought occurs, for some reason I’m reminded of the Vault school’s in Fallout.”
“We’re not going to be like a Vault,” Dustin scoffed.  “We’re going to teach them anything they want to learn.  It takes all sorts to run a mine.  I’m not going to pigeonhole them into roles and tell them ‘this is what you’ll do’.”
“Good.” Geralt nodded. “Freedom to be themselves. So long as you still have miners to mine the mine.”
“Exactly,” Dustin nodded.  “And the smiths to process the ore, and the farmers to feed the mine.  It’s a complex organism, composed of many parts.  But making them smarter can only help the whole.”
“I’ll do my best!” Lyra said as she snapped a salute. Somehow the mare still managed to stay upright walking on three legs as she did.





The trio made it to the entrance to the mine. A large structure was being worked on by numerous dogs. It was to left of a large rectangular hole that bore a ramp that led down into a torch lit hallway.
“This looks nice.” Lyra grinned, bouncing giddily.
“Not bad so far.” Geralt nodded approvingly.
“It’s amazing what suggestion will do when you give them a goal to strive towards,” Dustin smiled.  “Now, let’s see if we can’t find Flint.  He’ll know who to talk to about getting the dogs educated.”
“Ah ‘ere mah name?” Came the gravelly voice of Flint. The Diamond Dog himself limped from behind the construction carrying a rolled up blueprint in his paws. “‘Ey boss.” He froze the moment he saw Geralt. “B-boss…. ‘Oow’s dat?”
“This is Geralt,” Dustin introduced them.  “He’s a friend from town.  He came along because he fought the Warchief in town and was curious about the mine.  Geralt, this is Flint, the foredog of the mine.  He keeps things running when I’m not here.”
“Nice to meet you.” Geralt said with a smile, holding out his massive hand to the dog.
“Eh… same….” Flint said weakly, holding out his paw, only for it to be engulfed in the larger wolf’s hand and shaken rather vigorously. He looked at Dustin. “Boss… Why’s ‘e ‘ere?”
“He was curious,” Dustin shrugged.  “He’s a friend and wanted to see what kept me away from being trained five hours a day.”
“Gotcha.” Flint nodded. “Well… if you don’t need me….”
“Well,” Dustin said, indicating Lyra, “She’s here to help set up some education for the dogs.  Reading, writing, that sort of thing.  It’d help if she had an experienced dog to pick out where her classroom will be and what sort of things she should teach.”
“True… “ Flint furrowed his brow. “Le’ me see if I can find somedoggy.”
“No problem.” Geralt shrugged. “I’m just a visitor. You don’t have anything to worry about from me.”
“Oh I can’t wait!!!” Lyra bounced on her hooves.
“Righ’.” Flint nodded at Geralt slowly.
“Oh, just go with the dog, Lyra,” Dustin huffed, motioning for the mare to follow after the foredog.  “I’ll show Geralt around the place.  That’s fine, right Flint?”
“Actually…” Flint scratched his chin. “I’m needed out here…” He looked over at the construction. “Quartz!”
Quartz’s head popped out from behind the growing building. “Huh?”
“Care ta take a pony on a tour? She needs ta find a spot to set up the new school!” Flint yelled over.
“Oh! Sure!” Quartz called back. There was the sound of heavy thudding, then Quartz jogged out from behind the construction.
“Quartz.” Flint nodded at her. “Boss is ‘ere wit a couple…. Friends…”
“Mhm,” Dustin said, indicating Lyra with one paw.  “She’s here to help you all learn to read and write.  She needs a good place to set up a classroom, so if you could help her find one, that’d be great.  Once she picks a spot that works, we’ll put it on our to-do list.”
“Oh.” Quartz looked down at Lyra as the mare wagged her tail like a happy puppy. “Okay…”
“So we’re splitting up I take it?” Geralt asked.
“Yeah, I’ll start by showing you my place,” Dustin replied.  “Pretty sure they won’t pick there for their classroom.  Then we can look around the rest of the mine.”
“Sounds good.” Geralt shrugged.
“Sounds good to me.” Lyra nodded.
“Sure.” Quartz edged away from Geralt ever so slightly.
“Lead the way.” Geralt gestured into the mine.





It had taken Dustin all of five minutes to find his room.  He was very good at finding his way underground.  It helped that he visited when he could to learn the pathways.  “You, ah, may want to duck,” Dustin said to Geralt.  “They made the door smaller when I took over, they didn’t plan for someone like you using it.”
“I can fit!” Geralt complained as he squeezed himself into the door… only to get stuck halfway in.
“There’s a joke here. I know there is! I just have to find it.” Lyra said from behind the stuck wolf.
“Help?” Geralt whined.
“I gotcha…” Quartz said.
Geralt jerked forward slightly. “Ow! Hey! Gently!”
“Seriously, there’s a joke here!” Lyra cried.
“I told you you were too big for my passage, but you had to force yourself in,” Dustin sighed.  “Now we’ll need to push you through.”
“I’ve almost got it!” Lyra whined. “It’s right on the tip of my tongue!”
“Should we try oil to loosen him up?” Quartz asked.
“Do you have any idea how long oil takes to come out of fur?! NO!” Geralt barked.
“Almost there.” Lyra mused loudly.
“Okay, I’ll pull, Quartz, you push.  On three.  One...three!” Dustin shouted suddenly, jerking hard on the stuck wolf’s arms.
There was, oddly enough, a pop and Geralt tumbled into the room. However he landed on Dustin. “Fuck!”
“And… I lost it…” Lyra whined.
“You’ll find it again.” Quartz replied as she followed the mare into the room.
“Get...off!” Dustin cried, muffled by the wolf on top of him.  “You’re too...big!”
“Oh… oh my…..” Quartz said with a blush.
“Wait! It’s back!” Lyra gasped.
“Not my fault you can’t take someone my size!” Geralt snapped as he pushed himself up from the floor.
“What does Vinyl feed you, Manticores?” Dustin huffed as he managed to sneak out from under the wolf.  “You’re far too big to be on top of me!”
A torch flickered to life above Lyra. “I just got it…..” A grin split her face. “I need parchment! Now!”
“It’s right here!” Quartz grabbed a stack and a piece of charcoal from Dustin’s desk.
Lyra yanked the charcoal and paper out of Quartz’s grasp and began feverishly writing with a manic grin on her face.
“Wot’s goin on-” A bitch stepped out of Dustin’s bedroom, swiftly followed by three others. Everyone of them grew blushes at the ‘scene’ on the floor.
“Ow! Stop pulling!” Geralt yipped as he got dragged down to the floor. “Dustin! Stop moving and just let this happen!”
Lyra let loose a happy, yet unnerving giggle.
“Just get your fat ass off of me before I figure out how to aim my Diamond Storm at it!” Dustin snapped.
“Mmmmm! Using that!” Lyra giggled.
“Dustin. Let go of me.” Geralt said sounding very irritated. “If you don’t, you’re not going to like the result.”
“What… what is….” Quartz blushed furiously.
“I’m not holding you!” the Renamon snapped.
There was a growl. Geralt stood up and grabbed Dustin. The bitches yelped and ducked out of the way as the fox was unceremoniously thrown into the bedroom.
“Oh… this is soooooo goooood.” Lyra grinned wide-eyed at the massive wolf.
“Dammit Dustin…” Geralt growled. “Your ass is mine!”
“I-I… I… ummm.” Quartz quivered as she slumped against a wall.
“I told you to duck!  Hell I would’ve had you wait for a minute for us to get a Stonespeaker to make the entrance bigger!  But no, Big Bad Wolf has to have everything his way!” Dustin snapped as he sat up on his bed.  “Well look where that got you!  What, did you fail basic perception when you transferred?”
“This is so hot….” Lyra said with a heavy sigh.
Geralt froze and slowly looked around at the blushing bitches, a panting Quartz, and a manically writing Lyra. He slowly facepalmed. “... Shit….”
“What?” Dustin asked, quirking an eyebrow.
“We’ve…. Unintentionally…. Done a thing…” Geralt stepped back and sank into one of the chairs by the fire, rubbing his eyes with a hand.
“Whatever,” Dustin shrugged.  “Quartz, you good to show Lyra where we can put a schoolroom?”
“Yes!” She almost screamed as she yanked Lyra into her arms. “Yes I am! Lyra lemme show ya all da best spo’s!” She almost sprinted out of the room. The glow on Lyra’s papers and charcoal left an after image as they were yanked through the doorway.
“Sorry boss! We- We were… we gotta go!” One of the bitches managed to get out before they all bolted for the door at once.
“You know, normally I would ask why they were in my bedroom, but right now I just can’t care enough,” Dustin sighed.  “Just...stay here.  I’ll go get a Stonespeaker to make the doorway bigger for you.”
“Thanks.” Geralt nodded as Dustin left the room. His brow furrowed. “Wait a minute….” A small smile formed on his face. “Why were all those… Hmmm… Idea.”
It took a few minutes for Dustin to return with one of the Stonespeakers, leading him into the room.  “So as you can see,” the fox said, pointing at Geralt, “He’s too big for the doors around here.  I’d appreciate it if you could make this one large enough to where he doesn’t get stuck trying to leave.”
“O’ course Boss.” The Stonespeaker nodded. He placed a paw on the doorway and began to hum. A green glow grew in his eyes, and a same glow covered the doorway. With a rumbling sound the doorway expanded. The glow died and the Stonespeaker let his paw drop. He took a breath and nodded. “She’s solid. Good. Do ya need me fer anythin’ else?”
“No, but thanks for coming on such short notice,” Dustin said, smiling at the dog.  “Oh!  Quartz is leading Lyra around to try and find a place for a schoolroom.  If someone could tell her if the spot she’s picked is good for it, that’d help as well.”
“I can do dat.” The Stonespeaker nodded. “Shouldn’t be ‘ard ta find ‘er.” With a bow the Stonespeaker left.
Geralt got up and walked out the doorway with little effort. “That was kinda cool.” He looked over at Dustin. “So, there were some bitches in your bedroom. That a regular thing?” He walked back through the door and  leaned against the wall.
“Annoyingly so,” Dustin sighed as he sat behind the desk.  “Even when I’ve told them they’re not bound to just me, they still seem to show up in my bedroom whenever I’m here.”
“Really?” Geralt raised a brow. “Ya don’t say.”
“Apparently in the past, the Warchiefs used to take all the bitches for themselves,” Dustin snorted.  “I stopped that practice, but they all still seem to think that having the ‘boss’s pups’ means they’ll be smarter and stronger.”
“Can a Digimon even mate with a non-Digimon? Like procreate?” Geralt furrowed his brow. “I never thought about that till now… I wonder if Vinyl wants kids someday?”
“Well I’m not going to be the guinea pig, so you’ll have to answer that question on your own,” Dustin replied as he began to relax, just letting his arms hang loose.
Geralt sighed. “Sorry about earlier. Things got a little heated- and I just remembered we just gave Lyra fuel.” He groaned. “Fuck it. Nothing we can do about that now.” He looked around the room. “I like the room you got here. It’s nice.”
“Yeah, once they stopped burning the Warchief’s things and I started making promises, they put together this room for me,” Dustin answered, one of his eyes opening.  “I’m hoping that all the dogs can have a room half as nice as this one day, if not better.”
“Give ’em time. They’ll adjust and hopefully soon something like that can happen.” Geralt nodded with a smile.
“Hopefully,” Dustin said as he headed for the fireplace.  “If you want to look around the mine a bit, feel free.  I need a cup of tea real fast, I’ll catch up in ten minutes.”
“Eh sure.” Geralt shrugged and walked out of the room. He took a breath and sighed. A smile split his face. “Now… If I was a gaggle of girls who have the hots for the boss… where would I be? Whelp, start from the bottom and go up.” He stepped off the edge of the walkway and fell into the dimly lit hole.
The fox put the kettle on and sighed.  Getting black tea here wasn’t hard, nor was the kettle or the water.  It was timing how long it’d steeped for that was annoying.  He’d have to guess it.
He didn’t even notice the wolf dropping off the edge.





Oddly enough, Geralt found that his nose was the most helpful thing in the mine. Being a wolf had its perks, and it wasn’t hard to track down certain scents. However the first time he bumped into Quartz and Lyra, both of which froze mid conversation and refused to say anything until he left. The second time was more successful.
He found the four bitches babbling to each other in some water filled chamber.
“Ladies.” He announced causing them to jump, yelp, and blush all at once. “Pardon the interruption.
“Yer dat…” One of the bitches tried to get out, but her voice failed and she wilted in embarrassment.
“Yes, I’m the wolf that had a wonderfully awkward moment with your Boss.” Geralt chuckled. “Now, I understand that you were in his bed?”
“Yeah,” one of the other bitches spoke up. “We want bigger and stronger pups.”
“He just has to choose one of us!” Another spoke up. “Right?”
“Does he?” Geralt raised a brow. “Why can’t he have all of you?”
All four blinked.
“See ladies, where I came from there’s a little thing called Anime.” Geralt began with a chuckle. “And in certain Anime a male could be with many females at once with no problems and no arguing.”
“That can happen!?” One of the bitches cried.
Geralt chuckled darkly. “Oh yes, would you like to know more?”





Aaaah, that was a good cup of tea.  And now, to find Geralt and lead him around the mine.  A fresh pair of eyes would be helpful, he might have suggestions that the fox hadn’t thought of.
Dustin got up from his chair and headed for the door… Only to bump into a pale grey bitch with bright green eyes.
She stared up at him with big eyes. “‘Ello… Senpai…..”
Dustin blinked a little.  “What?” he asked dumbly.
“He’s distracted! Now!” A cry was heard. Six other bitches popped out from seemingly nowhere and latched on him.
“What?!” Dustin asked in a bit more of a panic.  “What are you all doing?”
All seven bitches dragged him through his room and into the bedroom.
“B- Senpai… We’re just showing you… what we’ve learned….” The green eyed bitch cooed into his ear.
A hand closed the door leading to Dustin’s suite. Geralt chuckled.
“You have learned well…. My Apprentices….”