Just knowing how to do it isn't enough. You got to actually do it to get things fixed. And let's be honest, you're probably going to screw it up anyways. You still have to do it it the end though, so grit your teeth, because it's going to hard.
Unknown
The miracle of birth is long, unnecessarily drawn out, painful to look at, and excruciating for all involved in the process, typically ending with one or more participants fainting and/or dying.
My birth was a private event witnessed by the cameras overlooking the vat that I had been growing in for what I presumed to be quite some time.
My mother was a vat I named Tav. I don’t remember much at that point, but that’s quite normal for babies if I remember correctly. I do remember it being quite wet and coughing up liquids after I was dumped into the harsh artificial lighting of the room.
I suppose that’s where the similarities between myself and babies end. After all, I was designed to hold all the knowledge of Equestria within me for safekeeping. The War was reaching its final steps and my creators saw fit to try and save the knowledge of Equestria in the event of the worst case scenario. Evidently, they were right to do so as the Last Day had coincided with the completion of Project TúshūGuǎn.
Being an artificial child, I skipped several stages of child development and had the immediate ability to walk. I wandered through the corridors of what I now know to be the Ministry of Arcane Science’s dumping spot for the intelligent yet unhinged individuals under Twilight Sparkle’s command until I found a door. A heavily armored door with a large lock and security system.
Remarkably easy to pick if you had the diagrams in the back of your mind guiding you through all the ways in and out. Had I been even a bit more patient in seeing the outside world, perhaps I would have discovered what I had looked like at the time.
But I wasn’t and I wandered out into the main lobby of what is now called Tenpony Tower, into the empty streets of Manehattan. It’s reinforced exterior would protect it during the onslaught of Megaspells, but one side would be damaged.
I’ll admit that one may have been my fault, seeing as I accidentally opened the door on that side in my hurry to get outside. And by doors, I mean large gates controlled by an easily hackable system. If they didn’t want it to be so easy to open, they shouldn’t have used such a basic operating system. Pipbuck’s had a better OS for crying out loud.
Alarms and klaxons were ringing as the gates opened on that side. Ponies were shoving one another, screaming at one another, all trying to get past me into the building. Slipping through the flood, I continued out onto the empty streets and gaped at my first glimpse of sunlight shimmering off the window of an ice cream shop.
Standing in the middle of the street, I looked at all the vibrant colors of Manehattan in its heyday. I continued wandering, going against the flood of ponies toward what would be known as the Manehattan Blast Zone.
It was beautiful to look at all the vibrant signs of life, even if only through a memory. It would be my first and only experience with sunlight for a long time.
The Manehattan Blast Zone as many ponies recall through a memory of a memory of a memory was just that. A blast zone. What most don’t realize was that it was a park. A park that used to be filled with ponies living their lives.
I would like to say that I looked up into the sky to see the balefire bomb descend, but I would be lying. I was actually sitting and listening to a radio left out on a bench. It was my first taste of music and I hated and still hate the very first song I listened to.
The megaspell descended and celebrated my birthday with fire, fury, and pain. Don’t want to set the world on fire, my boney ass.
Anyways, see my point? Long, drawn out unnecessarily, painful to look at, and absolutely excruciating for all involved in the process ending with at least one or more individuals falling asleep at the end.
Or dead as it were.
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That was my birthday.
Invitations for everybody. Food will not be needed. Informal dress and all day. Celebrations all day ending with a grand finale of the blowing of the candles as done by the Megaspell. The Grim Reaper will be there to take you home after everything is done. Cleanup will be unnecessary, so have fun.
Now you’re wondering. Why is it so long? Weren’t you born when you dropped out of your mother vat named Tav?
Au contraire, my dear friend. That was simply my coming out of the egg. I was but a mere caterpillar and I’m just going to stop because this is getting pretentious.
I consider the time when the megaspell hit to be my birth because that’s when I became myself. My awesome, slightly sociopathic self. It’s when I got the body I know and use everyday and it’s when I went from being full on sociopathic to being only slightly sociopathic.
Anyways, that’s the story of my birth. A mother that’s a vat and a father that’s a bomb. Family gatherings are a fun time in my household.
Sorry. I’m distractible. Introductions are in order I believe.
I’m Os.
These are the records. Have a nice time accessing them.