Dear Big Mac,
Could you please not spy on me in the future? When I thought you were going to dump me I was devastated. Now I'm sure you're looking forward to me being in town every weekend. I'm thinking next weekend we should go to the cafe.
Hoping We Can Go Out,
Sugar Belle
Dear Sugar Belle,
It was all Discord's fault for making me so paranoid. I promise I won't eavesdrop on you again. Also, a date at the cafe sounds great.
Sincerely,
Big Mac
Spike,
If you don't think Hearts and Hooves Day is a commercialized holiday funded by the greeting card companies, think again. Just go and talk to Celestia about how they have bought her off and prevented her from banning the holiday. From what I understand though, Twilight is going to ban it here and punish those who celebrate it severely.
Waiting For Twilight to Punish Those Who Celebrate Hearts and Hooves Day,
Discord
Discord,
Seriously, Twilight is going to ban such a wonderful day? Does she not know how much so many ponies love this holiday? I swear, ever since Fluttershy cheated on her, she has been punishing ponies in love solely for the fun of it but this is going to take the cake. Hell, she won't have enough room in the dungeon so she can't torture all of them! Just you wait, she will have a change of heart and realize how important this holiday is.
Sincerely,
Spike
Spike,
You honestly think I give a shit about the happiness of other ponies? You can buy into this whole "love" shit but even you should know that "love" is just another term for taking advantage of another pony and their kindness. I've been there and done that and trust me, I know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Knowing "Love" is Bullshit,
Slave Driver Twilight,
To My Owner,
Look, you saw how things were between Big Mac and Sugar Belle, you saw how happy they were. If that isn't proof that love truly is real, then what is?
Knowing Love is Real,
Spike
Dear Princess Celestia,
I thought you abolished this fucking holiday, you know the one that celebrates an undesirable prince doping up an Alicorn princess so she would want him and nopony else? I have been doing some thinking and I know exactly why you haven't. You have been bought off by the greeting card companies, the chocolate companies and the floral industries haven't you?
I never once would have thought that you would be bought off like that. You tax my parents into oblivion so I would think that you could stop punishing them over every single little thing since you're raking in the money like there is no tomorrow. Since you are too bought off to end this holiday on a national level, I will ban it on a local level here and change February 14th to Twilight Sparkle Appreciation Day where everypony will chip in so that I can have a golden statue of myself put in the center of town, after tearing down that one of you of course.
Taking Matters into My Own Hooves,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
P.S. You remember Lyra, the one who ran off with a bitch candy maker? Well I already have both of them imprisoned in my castle. Lyra is chained to the bed in my sleeping chambers and Bon Bon is currently locked away in the dungeon awaiting torture. This is going to be fun, too fun!
Dear Princess Twilight,
Look, I am not bought off. I am simply worried about the uprisings that may take place if I take away such a special holiday. You go ahead and ban the holiday down there, I'm sure whatever you decide to do to those who celebrate it will be rather interesting to hear about.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
P.S. I am glad to see that you have Lyra and Bon Bon imprisoned in your castle. Be sure and make sure that Bon Bon's torture is extra painful and I think it would be great if you had your old firends go down there and teach Lyra exactly what happens to those who betray me. Yes you have been a bitch towards me for ages but at least you never just up and left on your own. Oh and could you do me a favor and be sure to get the punishment of Lyra on tape? I really need something to threaten my new students with, something to scare them into never running off like she did.
Dear Minuette, Moondancer, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine,
Hi girls! I just thought I would let you know I have Lyra imprisoned in my sleeping chambers and I think you should come join me in punishing her. I am also thinking of abducting three hot florists for celebrating Hearts and Hooves Day as well. How about you come and join me for an epic nine mare orgy?
Hoping You'll Join Me in an Orgy,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
What? You imprisoned Lyra, are planning on abducting some hotties and inviting us? That sounds beyond sweet, a nine mare romp is going to be beyond epic. It is going to be the funnest event that any of us have ever taken part in. We will be getting down there ASAP and all of us will teach Lyra a lesson. We will punish her severely for running away the way she did, especially to hook up with an ugly bitch with a scowl on her face all the time.
Ready for Our Orgy,
Minuette, Moondancer, Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts
P.S. Don't forget Twilight, I will dominate ALL of you! - Minuette