//------------------------------// // Non-Complete Clause // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// To My Students, I want to know something, why in the fuck do you keep nominating Flutterslut to be the teacher of the month? What is it, is she teaching you all the art of seduction and you love it? Is it because she brings her dumb animals in and doesn't give you any homework? Is it because she invites Dr. Fauna in and gives you all live pornos as part of your sex-ed courses? Whatever it is, it is going to stop. Remember, I run this school and I could easily boot you all out and send you home. Want to know something else, I could simply tell your nations' leaders that you were failing. Oh and Featherbangs, I mean Sandbar, I know about that new mayor out in Our Town. I know how weak he is and I could easily fail you and he wouldn't even think twice about it. Long story short, if you six value your time together, you'll nominate anypony except Flutterskank for teacher of the month. Controlling Your Destiny, Head Mare Twilight Sparkle To the Head Mare, Look, she is just really nice. There are five of us who always nominate her because she doesn't give us homework and we like seeing all her animals. Oh and for your information, she has never once tried to teach us sex-ed nor has she brought that vet in to give us all a porno although Sandbar really wishes she would....well that and then let him join them. Yeah Sandbar is a bit of a perv but what pony wouldn't be when it comes to Professor Shy. Sincerely, Gallus, Ocellus, Silverstreak, Smolder and Sandbar P.S. Yona never nominate slutty yellow pony. Yona always nominate purple pony for teacher of the month. Yona knows purple pony care most about her....and this month, Yona nominates purple pony for teacher of the month. - Yona To Our Students, We are sorry for being such bitches during that field trip. We will admit, we have been overly competitive ever since season one. But look at it this way, you did learn what friends do by doing the complete opposite of what we did so it's not like you didn't learn anything! Sincerely, Applejack and Rainbow Dash To Applejack and Professor Egghead, That was actually quite the fun field trip. Yeah we got to see two ponies show us the polar opposite of friendship and that is what helped us learn a friendship lesson. We do have some advice though, go and talk to Starlight. I'm sure you could use a bit of counseling and given she has always guided Twilight in the right direction, I'm sure she could you too. Sincerely, Your Students P.S. You're welcome for us saving your flanks and preventing you from becoming fish food. Dear Crash, What part of slow and steady don't you get. You can't build an apple shed in nothing flat and expect it to hold together. You have to actually put some effort into things and while you may think it will, poorly built sheds will not teach the students anything. Next time I'm going to teach them a friendship lesson ON MY OWN! Always the Better Professor, Applejack Dear AJ, Seriously, you think slow things are going to impress them? Didn't you hear how Smolder wasn't thrilled with how we weren't moving at all in the canoe for a while? Just you wait though, despite us being total bitches, I bet they will all nominate us for teacher of the month, not Flutterslut. A Soon to be Teacher of the Month, Rainbow Dash Dear Princess Celestia, We are really glad that Applejack and Professor Egghead took our best students out on a field trip because we really needed to unwind. Luckily Starlight's office has good thick walls so hopefully nocreature heard us moaning and squealing. Unwinding (A lot), Head Mare Twilight Sparkle and Guidance Counselor Starlight Glimmer Dear Twilight and Starlight, Good grief, you two can't even contain your urges while you are on the job? Those six star students may not know anything is going on but some of the other students do. Several ponies heard odd noises coming from Starlight's office and then wrote to me. They are now requesting that I boot both of you out of the school, have Yona become head yak and make Gallus the guidance counselor. I can't wait until you two have to explain this away to the student body. Disappointed in Both of You, Princess Celestia P.S. Twilight, you can forget about Yona nominating you for best teacher in the future. She already hates Fluttershy because she is a ho and now she will feel the same way about you and Starlight. Chances are she will nominate Crash from now on. P.S.S. Starlight, I can't wait to tell Trixie about this! I don't know what she will do when she finds out you and Twilight did something but I have a feeling you probably won't like it. Want to know what is funny, I have that old Twicane up here and I plan on letting Trixie borrow it!