To My Canterlot Friends,
Hi. I am sorry but I have a boyfriend now, his name is Mudbriar. It was fun but I won't be joining in on the orgies anymore. Bye.
Maud
Dear Maud,
What, you have been batting for the wrong team all this time and you never let us know? Face it though girl, we all know that it won't be long until you are missing the horn sex. We all know you'll come running back to us when you realize that Mudbriar's stick simply ain't all that good. Hell we wouldn't be a bit surprised if the damn thing doesn't break off in you and when it does, don't expect us to use our magic to get it out of you.
And technically speaking, his personality sucks! Oh well, things will be better now since it will be all unicorns!
Sincerely,
Minuette, Moondancer, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine
Dear Maud,
How could you like Mudbriar? He is so weird and he has an inanimate object for a pet and his personality is horrible!
Your Best Sister Friend Forever,
Pinkie
Dear Pinkie,
Mudbriar and I like each other because we get one another. If you'd give him a chance you'd see how happy he makes me. Didn't you see how I was actually smiling for the first time in my life?
Sincerely,
Maud
Hey sis,
If you're going to come out to the farm again in the future you better be prepared to work. Marble and I don't bust our flanks for fourteen hours a day, everyday, just so you can come out here and bawl your eyes out just because Maud found herself a boyfriend. Look at it this way, he is making her happy. She is actually smiling now and is talking to somepony other than just you, Starlight and Boulder.
Upset You Are Lazy,
Limestone "The Best Pie Sister" Pie
Dear Limestone,
Why do you always have to be such a bitch? You have never been good to me, ever since I learned how to smile you have treated me like shit. I can't help but wonder if you aren't jealous though. I saw how you acted and what you said when I told you two about him. Now I do know a couple of mares who wouldn't mind a third, maybe you should give them a chance.
Knowing You're Jealous,
Pinkie Pie
Dear Princess Celestia,
Well I just thought I'd let you that I decided to break Flutterslut's heart. Since I was excluded, I went over to the animal sanctuary, killed that sloth that came from Western Equestria and dropped it on Fluttershy's doorstep. I left with it a note that read, "I was too slow to escape the Sparkle." Pretty sweet, huh?
Killing Sloths Like a Boss,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
To My Adoptive Daughter,
Now that's my girl! You truly are starting to amaze me more and more with every passing day. Yes you will never match Starlight's magical abilities but you do have that thirst for blood and the desire to bring about misery upon those who have wronged you and that counts for a lot! Even though sloths are an endangered species in Equestria, I'll let it slide since it was Fluttershy's pet.
Happy With You,
Princess Celestia
Dear Marble,
We have been talking with your sister and she has said on multiple occasions that you really need to get out and socialize. The six of us are wondering if you wouldn't want to hang out sometime in Twilight's old study tower. Trust us, it would be a life changing experience for you!
Hoping You'll Say Yes,
Starlight, Trixie, Minuette, Moondancer, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine
To Starlight and Her Friends,
I intercepted your letter and if you six even think about doing anything to my sister again, I will come to Canterlot, break your horns off and haul your asses to Tartarus myself. Marble is vulnerable and naive and it is my duty as her older sister to protect her at all costs, especially from overbearing, sex crazed bitches like you. So if I were you, I would stop thinking about Marble entirely.
Protecting Marble at All Costs,
Limestone "The Best Pie Sister" Pie