//------------------------------// // School Daze // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, I want to know something, why the fuck do I have to get permission from some snooty commoner to get my school accredited? Come on, we are a nation led by monarchs! We are not a nation led by inferiors like those that perished so quickly in Lyra's human books. I don't know what kind of scam you are running with Equestria's education system but that shit needs to stop. I will run things my way. I don't care what that speciesist bastard Neghsay thinks, my way is the best way. Now I would advise you take charge and quit letting lesser equines be in charge of ANYTHING! Upset You Let Commoners Control Anything, Princess Twilight Sparkle Dear Princess Twilight, Look, this is how things have been in Equestria for generations, well ever since the start. Never once did anypony in the royal family even question it. I must admit though, having a pony that is not of a royal bloodline does make a good point. I will consider abolishing the EEA and perhaps let Starlight take control of it since I like her the most. Don't worry, you can run your school your way, alright? Sincerely, Princess Celestia P.S. Just in case you forgot, it was STARLIGHT who got you to quit throwing a pity party and made you realize it needed to be ran your way. Yes we have repaired our relationship for the most part but still, Starlight has once again proved that without her, you would not be in the situation you are. Hell, without Starlight we would all be imprisoned in green goop. Dear Princess Celestia, You really need to close Twilight's school of friendship down. We in Equestria need to do what is best for ponies, not these creatures that may use that information to destroy Equestria. You saw what that changeling did, it nearly destroyed the school and almost claimed the lives of many PONIES! Wanting These Creatures to Leave, Chancellor Neighsay To a racist asshole, Remember how unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies all hated each other one time but then sang under a heart and got along? Granted there were no Alicorns there to make sure those of inferior races didn't continue to fuck everything up but hey, once the Master Race came along, harmony became the norm, right? Queen of the Master Race, Princess Celestia Dear Twilight, You know something, they really need to just let Celestia ascend me. For Goldner's sake, I rescued you from being imprisoned in goop, I finally got you to see Flutterslut wasn't the one for you, I am the one who suggested diplomacy when it came to the pony of shadows and now I am the one who told you to tell the EEA to go fuck themselves. Just think, without me around to guide you through life, it would really suck to be you! Constantly Saving Your Flank, Starlight Glimmer Dear Starlight, I get it, ever since the season six finale you have been leading me in the right direction, well trying to anyway and constantly saving my flank. No need to rub it in. Sincerely, Princess Twilight P.S. Remember it was me who told you to go make a new friend when Celestia discovered I stole her silverware so I am responsible for you having your sweetie! So how about we just call it even? Dear Yellow Pony, Yona remembers when purple pony glared at her and yak remembers how yellow pony abused her. Yona also knows yellow pony screws the local vet on a nightly basis. Yona think that yellow pony no qualified to teach at purple pony's school. Yona demands yellow pony's resignation now. Sincerely, Yona Yona, Look, I abused Twilight because she glared at YOU. Oh and regarding me screwing the vet, who told you this? Was it head bitch, was it that skank guidance counselor who left me for a street magician, was it the one with ADHD, was it the country bumpkin, was it diamond ass or was it the arrogant rainbow maned bitch? You better tell me or I'll fucking fail you in every single class you have with me and your hairy ass will have to go home. The Best Teacher, Fluttershy To Our Teachers, At first we all thought you were lame, especially Twilight but eventually we all realized you are awesome, well except for Fluttershy. We all know she is a whore who fucks the vet non-stop and broke head mare Twilight's heart. Sincerely, Yona, Gallus, Ocellus, Silverstream, Smolder and Sandbar. To Our Students, We are all glad you are here and given that you are all of different species, we know this will show that we are even better teachers. We'll show that asshole Neighsay that different creatures mean ponykind no harm! Sincerely, Your Teachers P.S. Look, I do not fuck the vet! We just have fun together and at least she never tried to rape me like the head bitch did once. Now you better apologize or I will fail ALL OF YOU, got it? - Fluttershy