Dear Grand Pear,
Do you think we could spend more time together to make up for lost time? We always wished that we had a relationship with our maternal grandfather and now we do. To make matters better, we can bring pear jam into the house now. Let us know, alright?"
Your Grand Foals,
Apple Bloom, Applejack and Big Mac
Dear Apple Bloom, Applejack and Big Mac,
That will all depend on the Almighty God-Emperor Goldner. I am hoping he will let me stay around but I have a strong feeling he won't. We will all just have to write to him and send him pictures of us with puppy-dog eyes and that should sway him.
Your Grandstallion,
Grand Pear
Prickly Old Pear,
Well it is about time you came back and apologized! I know we are trying to make amends but I still blame you for Bright Mac and Pear Butter running off and disappearing without a trace.
Upset our Kids Went Missing,
Granny Smith
Granny Smith,
You have the audacity to blame me? You know what, I think we're both to blame for that tragedy although I have a sneaking suspicion that they may be in prison somewhere over failing to pay their taxes.
Thinking We're Both to Blame,
Grand Pear
Dear Princess Celestia,
We really need to go and bitch again. I was excluded for a second straight week and Goldner promised shit like this wouldn't happen again!
I do have another question, how did Applejack's parents die. I am really curious and I would like to know.
Pissed I Was Excluded Again,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Twilight,
Just fucking get over it, ok? God-Emperor Goldner is a lying bastard and no matter how much we bitch and complain, he will never include any of us, ESPECIALLY ME, as much as we deserve. Hell, I still haven't got an episode devoted to me and it is fucking season seven.
Oh and to answer your other question, Applejack's parents aren't dead. They are up here in the dungeon serving a life sentence for tax evasion and defaulting on numerous loans across Equestria. Don't tell Applejack though, the last thing I need is for her to start bitching and demanding I release her parents, alright?
Imprisoning Applejack's Parents,
Princess Celestia