Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Let me first start out by saying how incredibly powerful and unique your magic is. I have come to the conclusion that your magic must be tied to cutie marks in one way or another. I find it kind of odd that the one thing you at one time despised is what your magic is tied into. Stealing and swapping cutie marks is very impressive and is more proof that you are superior to Twilight.
Let's see, you can steal marks, you can swap marks, you perfected a time spell, you can be in two places at once, you can brainwash your friends and you have the balls to come up here and confront my sister and I over our problems. Damn I wish I could have had you as my protege, you would likely be more well learned than Starswirl and your magical abilities would surpass Luna's and almost rival mine. Key word though, almost!
Impressed With You Again,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
You are right about my magic and you are definitely right about me being the only pony with the guts to confront you two. Now while Twilight has freed herself from being Fluttershy's doormat, she still wouldn't have enough of a spine to confront you two and she sure the hell could never had pulled off what I did.
I am happy that you two know how difficult the other's job is now and I do hope that you don't fight like that again because I certainly don't want my nightmare becoming a reality in the waking world.
Swapping Cutie Marks Like A Boss,
Starlight Glimmer
P.S. You may want to check your silverware drawer. While I can't confirm it, I think Twilight may have stole more of your silverware. I don't know what the punishment for that is but don't be too hard on her, Flutterbitch stole some of that that she stole from you after she got her castle.
Dear Princess Twilight,
First off let me start out by saying that I am very unhappy with you. You know damn good and well that those map missions are only to be done by those who were called by the map. Unfortunately, you are so jealous of Starlight and her superior abilities that you just had to go spying on her didn't you.
Oh wait, I think I know what the real reason was. You did it so you could steal more of MY silverware didn't you? Look Twilight, you being a little thief will not aid in us developing that close bond that I am hoping for. Don't worry, I'll just bill your parents, ok?
Ready to Fine Your Parents (Again),
Princess Celestia
P.S. Look at the bright side, that bitching that the three of us did worked. Not only did we get into an episode, all three of us got into one at the same time!
Dear Princess Celestia,
Look, I spied on Starlight in the event she needed me. This was her first map mission and I thought that if she needed some advice, I would be there to give it to her.
Also, I did not steal your silverware! I merely borrowed some because that bitch ex of mine stole all of my spoons while I was under her control. I was going to return it to you when I got the chance to go out and buy some, honest! If anypony needs to be fined, it needs to be her!
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
P.S.
Could you please quit fining my parents over every single little thing? I am honestly surprised that they either aren't panhandling out on the streets or having to be indentured servants of yours. Please though, just stop!
Oh and yes our bitching did work but still, stop fining my parents!
Dear Starlight,
Could you please just stop already? You can steal cutie marks, you can perfect time traveling spells, you won a medal for aiding in saving my flank, you can be in two places at once, you can shelve the library in nothing flat and now this? You can swap cutie marks, you confronted the Royal Pony Sisters and got them to realize that the other's job is difficult. What next, are you going to stop an asteroid with nothing more than your magic, use diplomacy to save Equestria from some foe, prevent my friends and I from fucking everything up royally or what? I'm just so sick and tired of you always outshining me.
*shudders* I hate to think what would have come of you if you wound up being Celestia's protege, you probably would have overthrown every global government long ago and be ruling this whole planet with an iron hoof!
Upset You Always Outshine Me,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Twilight,
You should be glad I have the abilities I do. If it weren't for me, Chrysalis would be oppressing everypony and if not that, Luna would have turned into Nightmare Moon again and Celestia would have turned into Daybreaker in the waking world and then we'd all be suffering.
Listen, perhaps it is just a matter of someponies being born with great amounts of ability, ability that makes studying less necessary to achieve greatness.
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer
P.S. Look at it this way, you could be like Sunburst and only have enough magical talent to wipe your ass. My advice, be happy you are as talented as you are.