//------------------------------// // Honest Apple // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, I can not believe what a bitch Applejack was towards not only Hoity Toity and Photo Finish but also the contestants in the fashion show. I had her be a judge because I thought her honesty would come in handy but all she did was insult their creations. What is even worse is that she destroyed one of the contestant's hats simply because her sister was being a moron with one of her hats. I swear, at that moment I realized that I would never ask her to be a judge again. Finally though, I got her to realize that being a hurtful bitch isn't the way to go about things. In the end though it turned out alright because everypony got their creations showcased in my boutique and Applejack came to appreciate all the hard work us fashion experts put into our work. Upset By Applejack, Rarity Dear Rarity, Oh for Faust's sake. You write to me to bitch about this? Look, I was watching that fashion show and good grief, I have seen a lot of hideous shit in my millennia and then some of life but ugh, that shit was disgusting. I do have one question though, how much of a profit did you make off of the clothes they made and how much money did they make off of them? I need to know this so I will know if I will have enough tax revenue coming in to have your home torn down and replaced with a gold statue of me. Wanting A Gold Statue of Myself, Princess Celestia Dear Princess Celestia, Four fucking weeks, four fucking weeks in a row they exclude me. Good grief, what the actual fuck is going on here? When this generation of ponies was created I was the primary character and now characters like Big Mac, the hellions, Crash, Scootaloo and now Rarity and Applejack are getting airtime over me? I swear, I'm going to go bitch to God-Emperor Goldner and demand that my contract be renegotiated. I sure the hell don't remember anything about being excluded half the fucking time being in there when I renewed it before season seven. Hell maybe we both need to go on strike and hold out until we are given better contracts with not just better pay, but more airtime. Upset I Was Excluded Again, Princess Twilight Sparkle Dear Princess Twilight, Well if you're going to go to Goldner and bitch and demand a better contract, I shall join you and chances are Luna will want to join as well. We have all been shit on too much and taken advantage of. I have a perfect idea, let's start a revolution and start a spinoff called, "The Goddesses of Equestria" that would focus heavily on us three, glorifying us as we should be and all the others, fuck them. The only use they would serve is for torturing, right? Upset I Was Excluded Too, Princess Celestia Dear Applejack, We know the only reason you decided to apologize to all of us is so that you can get Rarity in bed. We see how your interactions have changed over the years. We remember when you two hated each other and now you go to the spa together, she helps you on the farm and now this? Why don't you two just come out of the closet. Hey Twilight has always been out of the closet so there is nothing wrong with admitting it. Sincerely, Photo Finish, Hoity Toity, Inky Rose, Lily Lace and Starstreak Listen Y'all I don't think y'all know how traditional my family is. Granny Smith would probably disown me and then Big Mac would take control of the farm. Knowing him, he'd probably spend half his time going to visit this baker he has the hots for and then all the apples would rot on the trees. Big Mac would probably get a big ego again, yap all the time and don't even get me started on my cousin Braeburn. He'd never let me live that down and don't get me started with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. If we came out of the closet, that would make things a might awkward between those two. I think we'll be fine keeping it a secret. Sincerely, Applejack Applejack, I was so upset when you were such a bitch there for a while but I finally realized that I did ask you to be honest. I am glad though that you finally realized that you were being hurtful and the fashion show went on without a hitch. Because of that darling, I'm no longer mad and I look forward to our normal day in the spa tomorrow....all day! Ready for a Spa Date With You, Rarity Rarity, I'm a might sorry that I was so rude and unpleasant towards the judges and contestants of your fashion show. Now that everything is good again we can resume our normal lives. Oh, and show up at eight in the morning and I'll just make Big Mac do all my chores, sound good? Ready for Our Spa Date, Applejack