Dear Princess Celestia,
Today was sweet! We never imagined that us along with our friends would get medals of courage awards. They look really good on us and just think, now we can be twins when we go out to the cafe. Everypony can sit there and think, "There is that loving couple that assisted in saving Equestria! Wouldn't it be wonderful if the big brass at Hasbro would let them get married?"
Want to know what is better, while Fluttershy's doormat did get herself a pair of wings and a castle, she still doesn't have a medal like we do nor does she have somepony who cares about her. All she has is a controlling bitch who only pretends to care about her. Face it, all Fluttershy cares about is the satisfaction of controlling a princess.
Sincerely,
Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Lulamoon
Dear Starlight and Trixie,
I'm going to admit, I never thought you two would ever do something to earn such a rarely handed out award but you did. Now I hate to tell you this but I highly doubt God-Emperor Goldner will have the writers ever let you get married. I would love that and with that I would give both of you wings, immortality and make you royalty but I simply don't see it happening.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Starlight, don't lose hope about those wings though. I have a pair that matches your coat perfectly locked up in Canterlot Tower and once Goldner gives me the green light, I will ascend you.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I would like to thank you for the award. I am glad that I was able to aid in saving everypony. Now I don't know if you know this or not but I know a spell that will turn Twilight's castle into cake and I was thinking about trying it out sometime. Want to join me when I do this?
Ready to Turn Twilight's Castle into Cake,
Discord
Dear Discord,
Sweet! Let's go take care of that right away. I know Twilight and Starlight will suddenly be homeless but oh well. Starlight can move into Trixie's trailer and Twilight can move in with her owner.
Wanting You to Turn Twilight's Castle into Cake,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
Thanks to Starlight and her friends, the changelings are finally free from Chrysalis's rule. Now I would go and thank the others as well but Starlight and Trixie have gone missing and Discord was talking about fixing you an extra large cake. Anyway, this was the greatest moment in the history of changeling kind.
Sincerely,
Thorax, King of the Changelings
Dear Thorax,
I am very happy to see that your kind is free, no longer wants to feast on love and most importantly, will not want to put me in a cocoon. Let me make myself clear though, if even one of you decides to go stealing love from anypony, I will hold you responsible and will torture you, got it?
Still Distrusting You,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am so happy that Fluttershy let me hold this celebration for Equestria's newest heroes. When I heard you wanted me to host it, I was afraid that my sweetie wouldn't let me host it. I guess once she found out that a good part of the town, some of the ponies from Starlight's old village and a bunch of changelings would be present, she decided to let me do it.
I however am not happy that you would have the audacity to laugh at me! Those situations were actually legitimate things that could happen. Ok, I know I should have suggested Trixie's trailer too because nothing could go wrong there, right?
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
Oh good grief, here you are an Alicorn princess yet you are worrying whether or not a pegasus will give you permission to hold festivals in your own castle? I'm going to be honest, had Discord not been one of the recipients, I know she likely would have said no and tortured you for even thinking about doing this.
Oh and just so you know, I laugh about a lot more than your epic freakouts. I also laugh about how you let a pegasus control you and I got a good laugh when I learned that Minuette kissed you and swatted your flank. Just you wait Twily, a day will come when you will regret hooking up with Fluttershy and you will wish you just had your friends with benefits up in Canterlot. After all, why go with a pegasus when you could have multiple unicorns as "friends." At least they can give you real pleasure.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia