Unpleasant Correspondence

by StormLuna


Every Little Thing She Does

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have some great news, I totally kicked Twilight's ass in a magic competition! Yeah she is good but she isn't good enough to combine a Similo Duplexis spell with Accelero in just the right way to be in two places at once. I tell you, crushing who was your superstar protege in magic competitions is always the best! Now I know you'll probably claim she is weakened by her oppressor but magic, unless one suffers a severe brain trauma or a horn injury, is something one does not forget!

Anyway, while you gave Twilight a brief moment of freedom from her oppressor, I decided to tackle five friendship lessons at once. Thanks to my combining Fiducia Compelus with Cogeria and Persuadere I was able to get them to do my bidding. Now yeah it didn't work out quite how I had hoped and in the end Twilight had to undo my spell to fix everypony.

Now that is where Twilight made her mistake. Had she not undone the spell on Fluttershy, she could have been free. I know she secretly wants freedom because she has discussed it with me at night when Fluttershy is in her cottage. I am trying but I don't think I will be able to free her, Fluttershy simply has her too henpecked and brainwashed for her to take my advice. Now yeah I could steal Fluttershy's mark and free Twilight but I really don't want to fall back into my old ways.

I did learn a friendship lesson though, don't cast spells on my friends!

Always Using Magic to Solve My Problems,

Starlight Glimmer


Dear Starlight,

You know something? I really wish that you would have been sent up to Canterlot as a filly because you would have made a truly great protege. Unlike Twilight, I know you would have focused on your studies even more, you would have made REAL friends, you could have surpassed Starswirl's abilities in just a few years and you would be ruling up here with Luna and I, not being a subordinate down in a run down dump.

Now I am impressed with your magical abilities but I would have thought you would know by now that you can't use magic to solve all your problems or to finish friendship lessons. I know you tried but here is your problem, you are too much like your mother me. I tried doing the same when I was a filly and it always blew up in my face too but don't worry, I know you'll learn someday that magic ain't the answer for everything!

Oh and I am glad that you are trying to save Twilight but chances are you're right, you'd have to remove Fluttershy's mark to shatter the hold she has on Twilight but I commend you on your decision to not take her mark. It shows how truly far you have come as a pony and I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I have a nice set of light pink wings up here and if God-Emperor Goldner ever approves it, I will ascend you.

Hoping I Can Ascend You Someday,

Princess Celestia


Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Here is a friendship lesson for you, DON'T CAST SPELLS ON YOUR FRIENDS!

Sincerely,

Your Friends


To My Friends,

I am sorry that I cast spells on you. I am great with magic but I still have a lot to learn about friendship. I do hope that you can forgive me someday.

Sincerely,

Starlight Glimmer


Starlight Glimmer,

Is what I have heard true? Have you been talking to Twilight and trying to get her to leave me because I'm "too controlling?" If that is the case, then I will send Discord to troll you mercilessly, troll you to your breaking point. So if you know what is good for you, you will stop poisoning her mind with this "be your own pony" bullshit. Thanks to Trixie and your strong will I was never able to control you but I'll be damned if I let you free Twilight from my control.

I know Celestia is putting you up to this but it won't work. Twilight will ALWAYS belong to me.

Twilight's Owner,

Fluttershy


To Flutterbitch,

Look, Twilight is my friend and I am not trying to steal her away from you because I have Trixie. What I am doing is trying to get her to see that she shouldn't allow herself to be controlled. I am going to say one thing, with as overblown as your ego is, you'll probably do something in the future to fuck everything up and lose her and when that happens, I will celebrate.

Knowing You're a Bitch,

Starlight Glimmer


Dear Princess Celestia,

I am going to admit, being away from Fluttershy for a while was nice. It was like a breath of fresh air but before too long I missed my sweetie and I cut my visit short. It is a good thing I did too because Starlight cast a powerful spell on our friends and it was incredibly difficult to remove. While I was trying to undo it, Fluttershy called me a horrible name but once I got her cleansed of that magic, she forgave me and I spent the night with her. I really hope Starlight doesn't do this again because I don't want to lose Fluttershy because of reckless magic.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle


Dear Twilight,

Ugh, gag me! Here you go with all this lovey-dovey overly sweet bullshit again. Look, Starlight is simply looking out for you and I do hope that one day you will take her advice and ditch Fluttershy. She has ruined you and you know what, I miss the old Twilight, I miss the Twilight that would bitch about everything and most importantly, I miss the Twilight that I raised. I raised you to be a bitch, not a mind-controlled doormat.

Hoping You'll Listen to Starlight,

Princess Celestia