//------------------------------// // FINAL BATTLE: Discord // Story: Know your Mare // by overlord-flinx //------------------------------// Know your 'quus, know your 'quus, know your 'quus... "Know your 'quu, huh? I'm guessing Pip wrote the--" Hose 'em! On signal, a torrent of water shot from out of the darkness and drilled into Discord's lengthy torso. After a few seconds of the water hosing him, it finally drip to an end and Discord looked around confused. "Who set a hose up?" I did... ...Miss Boss-Lady said that we're allowed to use one of five things we've set up anytime you start to mouth off... "Well that seems a tad un--" Pelt 'em! Once more from off the stage a battalion of of assorted objects were fired at him. Potatoes, cans, apples, crumpled up trash balls, even a horseshoe or two were tossed at the draconequus as he tried to shield himself with his mismatched arms. "Oh, fine! I'll play by your -ow- rules! Just -ow!- stop throwing things at me!" Alright... With only a few more volleys of assorted items the assault simmered down. Discord... ...is actually a dragon... "I have some dragon in me, yes. But I also have some pony, goat, a few large cats... The list goes on, do you want me to show you the list?" Not needed... ...It just so happens that we have your birth papers here... "Funny, since as far as I know I don't have birth records." Are you saying the Royal Canterlot Archives would lie...? "The same Royal Canterlot Archives where we gathered all that information on Trixie? I guess--" He's resisting! Zap 'em! "Zap me?" Discord repeated, finding that far more extreme then pelting and hosing him. But even so, as he saw two tesla coils rise from the stage on either side of him, he swallowed painfully. For a short moment Discord was charged with the collective voltage of the two coils, amplified by his still wet body. After a short burst of the energy, it was all switched off and Discord toppled face first against the stage, his coat charred black and a small waft of dark smoke coming from his tail. Ready to go on? "I can't feel my brain..." You can't feel what you've never had... ...Now get up... ...I know you can take more then that any day... Sure enough, Discord sprang back to his feet and all of the char covering him disappeared with a snap of his talons. Discord... ...according to his records is a dragon with a rare scale condition... "What condition is it? Hm? How long have I got left to live? Give it to me straight doc." A condition called... ...Imastupititus... "Imastupititus? Isn't that the same thing Queeny has?" No... ...she was diagnosed with ugligiantholetosis... "Sounds serious..." It is... Discord... ...eats babies... "You don't just eat babies. You need to have the right seasoning--" He's smart mouthing! Hose 'em! "Didn't you already do that?" once more Discord was knocked back a little by the cooling flow of liquid hitting him, this time it spattering all across his face instead. The flow was much shorter and was retracted quickly. "I thought you had five things? Why go back to the first?" That's our fourth thing actually... You see, that wasn't water... "What was it then?" Ghost Pepper Sauce... "Ghost Pepper... Sauce?" Discord repeated the name before piecing it together as he felt the liquid dripping down his face. "...Clever..." with that finally word, Discord began to flail about screaming as some of the sauce dipped into his eyes and against his tongue as he shouted in pain. Both Chrysalis and Pip allowed him to scream and smack up against the walls and rafters for a good minute before finally firing freezing water at him to clean him off. Ready to go on again...? Discord, now laying on the ground gasping for clean, un-spiced air gave them a thumbs-up before struggling back to his feet. Discord... ...has a friend that really wants to say she's sorry... "Really? Who? You? Couldn't be..." Oh yes... I want to say sorry for all the mean things I've said to you and Blank... "Aww, I knew you loved us." Yes... ...I'm so sorry, that I wanted to sing you your favorite song... "You know my favorite song? You do listen to me. I'm just so gosh darn touched right now." I bet you are... ...Blank... ...Care to help? Completely... Slowly the stage began to echo with the starting of music, music that Discord was familiar with but wasn't able to put a finger on. Open your eyes, I see~~... Your eyes are open~~... "Uh... This isn't my..." Wear no disguise, for me~~... Come into the open~~... "Wait..." Discord took a second to think of the lyrics before his eyes went wide. "NO! Guys stop!" When it's cold (when it's cold) outside (outside)~~... "Alright, you two win! I'll do anything, just stop singing!" Am I here~~ in vain..? Discord began to frantically look around before remembering he could just snap his fingers. With a snap he smiled, thinking it would've stopped. However, to his dismay nothing changed. "Wha-- GAH! You put up those harmony charms didn't you!?" Hold on, to the night~~ There will be no shame~~ "Makers you two, please! I-I'll be good! Just stop singing!" Always~~... I wanna be with you... And make believe with you... And live in harmony~! Harmony~! Oh love~! "GAH! IT BURNS!" Discord began to flop on the stage floor as if the words were starting to physicality hurt him. Always~~... I wanna be with you... And make believe with you... And live in harmony~! Harmony~! Oh love~! "Have ye' no MERCY!?" Discord cried while the music began to cut out. Plenty of mercy... Discord... ...plays chess with Celestia when no one is looking... "Well... I prefer checkers... But chess is her game." Discord... ...thought this would be easier... "It's still easier then I thought it was going to be." Really...? ...How...? "I was almost certain Pippy was going to--" Do this...? With a little click, a trapdoor above Discord swung open to reveal a statue of him sent plummeting down at him. "...I trained you well..." Discord nodded once before having the statue slam into his head and send him crashing through the stage floor. Now you know... Discord... ...What's wrong Blank...? I don't know... ...This is just missing something... Like what exactly...? Hm... ...OH! I've got it...! Do tell... Why don't we bring the boss on for the next episode...? Are you mad!? Everyone's so curious, let's just give them a better hint... ...Fine... ...But we keep her concealed at all times... Got it... You got that Cap'n? Yeah, I got it... How did you get up here so fast?! Did you think a statue hitting me in the head at high speed would've kept me down? ...Yes... For some stupid reason I used common sense in that matter...