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"AJ!! PINKIE!!" Dan continued yelling at his friends, even as the Solar guards came to take him and his friends to the Empress. "You tase me again and I'll- AARRGH!" They tased him again. It wasn't exactly electricity but some kind of other magic and energy combined, a reddish glow to it. Stung and burned about evenly.
"Silence. Move!" the guards ordered. There hands were bound before they were marched out of the cages. The binders all had bands on them which glowed the same reddish color as the forcefield cage they'd been trapped in. It didn't take much to realize they had the same shocking, stinging, burning energy-magic the taser-phasers did. However, being thorough, Dan took it upon himself to confirm their suspicions the only way he knew how.
"I'm gonna rip your heads off. I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR SPINE OUT THROUGH-ALRALALRLALRRR!"
"Up. Up, now," the guards shocked him as he writhed on the floor. Cap, Phoenix, Khan and even the now-conscious Discord could do nothing but watch.
Dan felt the red energy stinging his teeth. It was like being punched, burned and shocked all at once. To the Solar Empire, the energy-magic was simply called agony, because that's what it was. Designed to inflict the maximum amount of pain possible, it was based on Terran Empire technology captured during the war. Combined with Solar Empire's own pain-inducing spells, which were already similar in nature, weapons like the agony phasers and shields were common place, used on disruptive Terrans and ponies alike. Their potency was well-known.
They were walked to the door and filed out of it. Another pair of white-armored ponies were on the other side. Their masks were down, obscuring their faces behind black visor-helmets streaked with orange.
"Sod, why aren't you at your post?"
"Minister Trixie's orders, sir," the dog explained, handing the armored stallion a rolled grey parchment. "Duty-switch, sir. All sols are to report to ready stations, sods take over off-duties." Sols- short for soldier, Solar Imperial or both. Sod- soldiers or workers that weren't slaves but weren't citizens either.
"Hmm," the guard looked over the parchment. He then looked up at the other stallion, then back down to the paper. "She must be expecting something."
"Could be," the other guard said.
The first soldier finally returned the parchment. "Just be sure you keep an eye on these Terrans. They're more dangerous than the usual scum."
"Oh, absolutely, absolutely."
"Yes sir, me brother and I have everything well in-hoof." They stepped to the side so the first two guards cold pass.
When they were gone, and because the new troopers didn't immediately order them forward, Khan asked a question.
"You two are brothers?"
"Yep!" Their helmets flipped up. "He's Flim!"
"I'm Flam!"
"And we're the Flim Flam Brothers!"
"Most helpful ponies this side of the empire!"
"Mirror Flim and Flam," Phoenix remarked. "So, you two are helpful?"
They nodded proudly. "Yes, indeedy! No oddjob too hard, no hardjob too odd!"
"We have a reputation as Equestria's most helpful ponies. And we never ask for anything in return!"
"Give without expecting to receive and you can find yourself with a wealth of return!"
"Altruist Flim and Flam!" Discord exclaimed. "Now I have seen everything."
"Yeah," Cap said. "The Flim and Flam from our universe tried to sell me citizenship to Equestria. And fine me for walking on the grass."
"Scammed?" Flim and Flam both said, followed by a simultaneous shudder. "Goodness, I'd never condone such a thing."
"Scams are without a doubt the most under-hoofed thing you can do."
"We're terribly sorry, chaps, for the problems our counterparts caused you."
"Yes, yes, let us make it up to you! The true Flim Flam way!"
Dan looked at Phoenix for a very long time. Eyelashes almost batting at him, eyes wide and shimmering with something akin to hope or expectation. It took Phoenix a moment to notice him, but less time to understand what his look meant.
"No, no. We're not switching them with our Flim and Flam."
"That's not- hey, that's a good idea. I was just going to say we should take them back with us-"
"No."
"Nicky, c'mon, don't be like that. We should at least ask them first."
"Actually-"
"We're gonna need you boys to come with us."
"The Empress IS expecting you, after all."
"Wouldn't be nice to keep her waiting."
"Sure wouldn't."
"But... you're nice," Phoenix said. He looked between the two of them,lip trembling, a pleading look in his eyes.
They nodded. "Indeed!"
"We certainly try our best."
"Nopony's perfect."
"And we certainly don't judge."
"No sirree."
"But you said you'd make it up to us," Phoenix continued.
"That's right, you did. I was there," Dan added.
"That's right, we did!"
"Here!" The brothers levitated to them a few things that had been lost to them- their weapons. Cap's shield, Dan's cane, Phoenix's umbrella and Khan's phaser.
"Don't I get a weapon? Just because I have the powers of chaos at my command doesn't mean I would turn down an appropriate armament," Discord said. But the pair shrugged.
"You're annoying. That's armament enough," Dan said. He held up his cane, looking at his wrists. His hands were still bound. "You gave us our stuff back. That's one point. You didn't take off the restraints. That's minus two points."
"Sorry. Still have a job to do."
"And Flim and Flam always make sure a job is done right!"
"No half-measures or cutting corners. Only top-quality, guaranteed!"
Dan was looking at Phoenix again, staring into his soul. His unspoken words were, No one would have to know.
Phoenix shook his head silently. (I'd know. And I'd hate myself for doing it. I hate myself for not doing it, but slightly less than I would if I'd done it.)
(Only slightly?) Dan's inner dialogue voice asked, as the human grinned a sly, round-toothed grin.
(Shut up.) Following Mirror Flim, the pair entered the Mirror Foyer.
Everything was slightly whiter, shinier in the Mirror Sand Castle. The lights were electric, portraits of Empress Celestia and statues of the Fausticorn... or the Mirror Fausticorn adorned the alcoves here. Instead of the cherished memories of two sisters, displayed were monuments and testaments to the glory and power of Empress Celestia, whether they were true or not. Elaborate paintings showed her fighting dragons inside a volcano, battling and subjugating yaks and deer. The image of Empress Celestia was one of unstoppable might, but it hinted at something Phoenix noticed.
The Fausticorn, the supposed deity responsible for creating Equestria and all its creatures, was usually ponsonified as an alicorn with a messy, unkempt and free mane. Creativity such a passion for her that even her mane and tail were unbridled, and it was rumored that like Twilight, she struggled with her wings and even magic at times. But the Mirror Fausticorn had a straight, flat mane and tail. Uniform, parted equally on both sides. Apart from that, however, they were identical.
Empress Celestia had the same style of mane and tail... where Princess Celestia and the Prime Fausticorn were different. The Empress also had a streak of cranberry red that ran the length of her body, from her mane to the base of her horn, down her neck and both sides across her body through her tail. Artificial or natural, it was unknown.
The Sand Castle, the entire resort island in Prime Equestria was a summer retreat for Princess Celestia and Luna, or had been years ago. The Mirror one was something else entirely. They were about to find out what.
Flim turned to the entrance. "We're not going to see the Empress?"
"We are. She's this way."
"She's not like, in a throne room or something?" Dan asked.
"There is no throne room here," a soldier guarding the hall said, loud enough to hear them. "The Empress guides. The Empress protects."
"We get it. Empress does what Nintendon't," Dan said.
"I've seen such... devotion before," Khan mentioned.
"So have I. In Nazi Germany," Cap added. "I didn't always see it in the Nazis, though. It's not limited to just totalitarian regimes."
"Let's not keep the Empress waiting, fellas." The not-sales ponies led the four humans through the mirror of the same entrance they'd went in just an hour or so ago. More troopers lined the hall, standing at attention, imperceptible from behind their bulbous helmeted heads. Phoenix recognized a couple of the troopers, or at least he thought he did, from their armor. A few of the guards had the same fist-sized breaches that Khan had made... when he fought them.
Flim opened the doors and they stepped out into the Mirror Island. And it was raining.
"You guys don't get pegasi to manage your weather?" Dan asked, irritated.
"The storm's a cover. It's made to look random to conceal our position. Besides, we need the water," Flam said over the rain. It came down in buckets, as it usually did on regular Equestria. More guards stood at attention, unflinching even in the torrents that came down. Water beaded on their armor like on the finish of Dan's car in a car wash, the few times he took it some place to wash it.
Phoenix used his umbrella as an umbrella rather than a blunt object. Cap used his shield, while Khan didn't seem to mind the rain. Dan made use of the other tool they brought- Discord, as a makeshift umbrella. Discord wasn't in a position to disagree.
Flim led them through the storm into the main area. As suspected, everything was 'mirrored' from the way it had been in regular Equestria. The buildings were on their right, the east side rather than the west. But that wasn't the only difference- there were fences in between and around the buildings. And they were all uniform, right up to the guard towers. One of the signs, obscured by the rain read in bold Botany Bay Imperial Correctional Facility.
"This looks like a prison," Cap said. "Flam... let me guess, this is a penal colony?"
"As far as we can tel when we found it. We've only been here a couple days," Flam said.
That made Phoenix think. "Not exactly the first place I'd pick for a vacation."
"Ha! No complaints here, Nick."
Phoenix turned to Flam. "So what brought you here?"
"Errr..."
"Let's get out of the rain, fellas," Flim cut his brother off. "You can ask the Empress yourself. And uh, maybe don't mention we gave you your weapons back."
"Right," Dan said. They went into the prison compound, which looked a lot like an Imperial Japanese prison compound straight out of World War 2. Canvas tarps had been hung across the tops of the fences to create makeshift roofing, and it helped marginally. Flim led them to a pair of longer buildings, marked Mess A and Mess B respectively.
"Are you sure that's the right one, brother?"
"Errm, no?"
"Well, fifty-fifty chance either way."
"Right you are, brother," Flim opened the door and they entered. Inside, the roar of the outside wind and rain was replaced by the clangor and clamor of eating. Griffons and pegasi flew overhead, ground-bound ponies sat at tables. Almost all had bowls of food, hard rolls and tin cups to drink from. None of them paid much attention to the new arrivals. They were loud, seemed to be enjoying themselves, talking, laughing, even gambling. A few of the pegasi and griffons exchanged food volleys, slinging their bowls at each other.
But the most remarkable thing about the group of Imperials was what were among them- humans.
A dark-skinned woman with spiked green hair and sunglasses staggered by them. "Oi, you lot look like ya been out in it, eh?" The smell of wine lingered on her question.
"The heck did she say?" Dan asked.
"Yes, but they're scheduled for a break in a half-hour," Flim said. "This isn't the officer's mess?"
"Nah," she said, taking a long drink from her tin. "Nexdoor, mate."
"Ah, thank you."
"'mpress proteks," she said, tilting her glass up. They backed out the door again and trotted to the other mess.
Again, Flim opened the door slowly. But in this mess hall, there was no uproarious sound of mealtime eating. There was no loud conversation, there were no fliers buzzing about. There were humans here, too but all were silent. They looked to the door at Dan, Phoenix and the others. The two guards standing just inside the door already had their weapons drawn and lowered at them.
"Uh-um, we're here for the-" Flim unrolled the parchment, but before it could completely unfurl it was incinerated. The phaser lance of one of the troopers at the table was smoking and now aimed at Flim's head.
"They may enter," the Empress said. Not on a throne, not at a raised table or even at the head of the table, Celestia stood up from a seat somewhere in the middle of the hall. As soon as she had ended her sentence, the guards had resumed eating. She stood up from the table and walked towards them.
Ruler of the Solar Empire
Empress Celestia
Empress-in-Exile
Flim and Flam instinctively kneeled. Dan, Phoenix, Khan, Cap and Discord needed encouragement.
"Bow, Terran."
"GAH!" Dan was zapped. He fell to his knees, involuntarily kneeling.
She walked over to them slowly. None of them, not Flim or Flam, no one said a word. Every single one of her hoofsteps could be heard as she strode toward them. Dan looked up to her. And his eyes narrowed as they met hers. For a moment, she stood over them, seeming to examine them.
"They were disarmed when they were captured."
"Ummm, yes, Empress. We thought it prudent, that, since they were to serve you, that they shou-" Flam exploded in a flash of light before he could finish his sentence. His armor, his weapon, his clothes, all fell to the floor.
"Holy squee!" Dan said.
"You will speak when spoken to," Celestia replied. To Flim, not to Dan. "Speak."
"Empress, we... we thought it prudent to rearm them. So that they may bett-be-better serve you, your lordship."
"I understand," she said. Flim exploded. As before, everything on him was left behind.
"HEY!" Dan yelled. He got on his feet. "Where the squee do you get off? He was just-GAAH!" Both guards jabbed him in the back.
"Take them to the administration office," Celestia said. Her voice was soft and cold. She then turned and walked back to her meal.
"Up. Now," the guard ordered. And again, Dan and the others were marched out into the rain.
The administration office was near a guard tower at the camp entrance. They were marched in a straight line, the new guards did not follow the covered path and instead took the direct route. When they reached and entered the small cabin, they were damp. The guards let them inside and the door was closed behind them.
"What the heck was that?" Dan asked.
"That was the Empress," Phoenix answered. "Celestia's power in a whole new package. One that's not afraid of using them to their full potential."
"I'm not sure what that was," Cap said, extremely concerned. "Execution, some kind of teleportation or what. Whoever she is, we need to exercise extreme caution around her. Let's scan the room."
"Good idea, Stevie. We're alone, let's get something to clobber her with when she comes in through the door!"
Khan folded his arms. "Assuming she comes in through the-" A flash exploded in the middle of the room. Empress Celestia appeared behind the desk. They were all silent again.
"You are from the other universe," she said. "The mirror universe, correct? The Kingdom of Equestria exists there."
"It-it does," Phoenix said.
"What is your problem, lady?" Dan asked. Unafraid, he rushed the desk to jab his finger in her face. "You blew up the WRONG Flim and Flam, peppermint. If you'd blown up my Flim Flam Brothers, I might've even thanked you for it but not now. Those were NICE guys. You unexplode them right-"
"They are perfectly fine," Empress Celestia said. A portal opened near her head of the first mess hall they'd entered. The two brothers, in dark green coveralls, were in line for food. The girl with the spiked hair patted them on the back. The portal closed.
"So you teleported them? That's it?"
"We're not in a position to dole out punishment," Empress Celestia said, putting her hooves together on the desk. "Or to waste time." Her voice had more emotion in it now. "I'll be frank- we need something from you."
"And what is that?" Dan asked.
"You're in trouble, aren't you?" Phoenix asked, having put it all together. "This... all of you being here, at this place. You're not here on vacation like we are."
She paused for a moment to look at Phoenix. "You are more clever than the Phoenix Wright of our universe."
(Undoubtedly. Heh.) "So why are you out here on a penal colony?"
Celestia paused again. She clicked her front hooves together before finally saying, "It's mostly because of your universe. If we're having... difficulties, I can imagine you are having similar difficulties? Problems in your kingdom?"
"Somewhat, yes. Your, uh, problem wouldn't happen to be a pony named-"
"Dr. Vice Grip," Celestia said.
"I thought as much. He's a doctor in this universe?"
She nodded. "He is, or was, a very gifted surgeon. Unfortunately, our version of Dan and members of the resistance drew him into the conflict we were having. Cel- I mean errmm," she cleared her throat. "I was forced to take drastic actions-"
Phoenix noticed something. But Dan was the first to jump on it. "You're not Celestia," he said.
"What? I am Empress Celestia, daughter of the Eternal and Beyond, sister-"
"Drop the act," Dan, even with his hands bound, raised his cane.
"Okay! Okay!" Celestia erupted in a flash of green. And Chrys... or the mirror of her at least, took her place. "Man, you are volatile. You're nothing like our Dan at all."
"Thank you," he took it as a compliment. "Uncuff me." She did so. "And now, tell me what in this tyrannical little slice of pie is going on."
"Do the guards know? Your soldiers," Captain America said. He looked out through the window, then back at Chrys. "They have no idea, do they?"
"The higher-ups know. Twilight knows," Mirror Chrys said. "The rest... they can't know."
"Because they'd rebel," Cap surmised. "Once the head falls, the rest comes tumbling down."
"Cut off one head and two more will take its place," Chrys said, almost casually. "Or so the Empress says."
Cap narrowed his eyes. "She said that? The name Johann Schmidt wouldn't mean anything to you, would it?"
"Not really. Is he a Terran like you?"
Cap's first instinct was to say flat-out "no, he's nothing like me" but instead he managed, "he is a Terran from Earth like me."
"Eh, I don't really associate with your kind that much. A bit beneath me," Chryz said. "So I guess I should start from the beginning."
"That would be helpful," Phoenix said. So she told them. While she explained to the lawyer, Dan, Cap and Khan all tinkered with their restraints. Dan only had one thing on his mind. Or precisely, two. Maybe more. But mostly, two.