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// Grief is the Price We Pay 
// Story: Grief is the Price We Pay 
// by Scyphi 
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Twilight Sparkle eventually made a full recovery from her injuries brought upon her by the riot, as did Neonata, save for a faint hairline scar over the injury to her belly. Neonata thought it likely even that scar would be mostly gone after the next time she molted though. Twilight knew this, because as she and the changeling became more mobile, they both had started to converse lightly and in passing with each other. While she willingly chatted with the changeling when needed, Twilight was admittedly uncertain of what to say to her, so usually Neonata—who was the one who always started the conversation—did most of the talking which suited the changeling assistant just fine.

But Neonata did feel especially obligated to do this after all, considering Twilight’s role in the riot. “I feel like I owe it to you,” she would often remark.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Twilight would usually and kindly reply back.

Neonata would usually insist that she did back in response and Twilight wouldn’t dispute it so to be polite. However, one day she made a comment that opened the way to something deeper. “After what you did to try and protect especially me, I feel I at least should try to be friendly with you, princess,” Neonata assured.

Twilight only snorted lightly at this. “I would think that, after what I’ve done these past few moons, no changeling would ever want to be my friend,” she blurted out.

Neonata tilted her yellow head at her. “It wasn’t so long ago that we changelings had thought the same thing of ourselves,” she observed with sudden wisdom. She motioned to herself. “Look at us now.”

Twilight couldn’t come up with a response to that.

But talking of the riot was awkward for them both, so friendly chatting over their steps to recovery instead was more typically the popular topic of choice between them, hence Twilight’s knowledge on the subject. No matter the subject though, Twilight found the young changeling a nice and kind spirit who was endearing and ultimately good company to have around. It made her wonder if the late Thorax was in any way similar. If so, it was easy to see how Spike grew to be so attached to him.

Regardless, by the time they had adequately healed, Neonata seemed to be in good spirits. But it was hard for the changelings not to be—their negotiations with Princess Celestia and the rest of Equestria had gone well enough that it was agreed to pursue a light political alliance between them. Even better, the final arrangements were made for the changeling hive to return any and all captive ponies formerly serving as prey. These ponies all arrived just a matter of days later and, after a thorough check over by doctors, were able to reenter Equestrian society without problem. Most remembered very little of the whole experience and few suffered any lasting negative effects. Those who did were typically long-term captives, of which there were thankfully extremely few of and even the worst cases were still expected to physically recover with time. It was also agreed that, since the changelings were turning over captured ponies, the ponies would also turn over any captured changelings back to the hive—unless it was agreed between both the hive and Equestria that said changeling had violated the laws of the land critically and in such a way that neither party could ignore it. Fortunately, it was found there weren’t actually any changelings in their custody at this time.

In exchange for the return of the captured ponies from the changelings though, Equestria would also provide materials for them to find new ways to produce food sources, because transformed or not, they still largely fed on emotion. Luckily, the hive gave plenty of reassurances that now the changelings were sharing their food rather than trying to horde it all to themselves, emotive food sources found in the area of the hive should be adequate. Still, they wished for a few tools to try and harmlessly experiment with newer and friendlier ways of harvesting emotion so to expand that supply further still as needed…especially since it was expected the hive’s numbers would soon start growing, perhaps exponentially, following the Enlightenment. So as long as this did not involve capturing and stealing that emotion from any intelligent races as before or could be used as a weapon against them, Equestria agreed to this trade.

The changelings further wished to do something to promote more vegetation growth around the hive, especially now that the magic of Chrysalis’s throne was no longer present to interfere, so it was agreed to provide a shipment of agricultural tools as well. There was also considerable debate over whether or not Equestria would help provide the changeling hive aid should they ever come to danger, but ultimately this matter didn’t go through. There remained too much opposition among the ponies over the idea to be able to reach a workable resolution, and regardless, the changelings had to apologetically decline the offer—they had already agreed for Dragon Lord Ember and the other dragons to provide such protection…on the grounds that the hive refused any similar offers from Equestria. Knowing how relations with the dragons were presently, it wasn’t hard to guess why.

All in all, the negotiations went well, and despite the riot having initially soured the visit, all three changelings were able to return to their hive a few weeks later in good health, in good spirits, and with good news to share with the hive. But that same news, when Celestia publically announced the outcomes of these negotiations afterwards, received more mixed attention from the ponies. Even though the riot was by now well-known and publically frowned upon by most, as well as several ponies being, as was the Equestrian tradition, willing to trust Celestia and the other three princesses readily backing it, the fact remained that there was still a decent number of ponies that did not see the changelings in a good light. The majority of ponies seemed very neutral to the idea of changeling allies on a whole only until faced with the idea of personally encountering one, in which the reaction was typically poor.

It was the angry and hateful reactions that were more worrying though. Thankfully, with news of the riot at least serving to help turn some of the undecided away from such stances, this anti-changeling sentiment remained a minority among the ponies. But perhaps because of that, such ponies were among the more combative on the matter. In the weeks following Celestia’s announcement of the negotiations, several protests were staged across the country, some of which turned violent like the riot that heralded it all. There was one event which reached Twilight’s ears of a paranoia-fueled riot attacking an innocent pony the assaulters had somehow become convinced was a disguised changeling.

Of course, such actions were not tolerated. All of the city governments in Equestria chose to default to the judgment of the princesses on this matter, and while they tried to respect a pony’s right for free speech, officials all cracked down on anything that was deemed as a potential threat to the safety of anyone, pony or changeling. Celestia meanwhile chose to remain aloof in the matter by adopting a pacifist approach, trying to work out the problem peacefully, but Luna chose a more hardline approach, personally pursuing to criminally charge any anti-changeling pony that was responsible for causing such troubles.

She received criticism for this stance of course, but Luna remained unswayed. “It is my fear that if we do not put our hooves down on this troublesome anti-changeling sentiment,” she said so to explain her actions, “it will only grow into a bigger problem even more deeply rooted into our nation’s culture. And then it will only fester and spread from there.”

It was because of this stance that Luna was able to see the imprisonment of many of the rioters that had attacked Twilight, Neonata, and the others, as well as the capture of several more participants in said riot. Unfortunately, sometimes it seemed to only spur the anti-changeling ponies on. Some saw it as attacks on them and their want to “make a safer Equestria” by ensuring no changeling ever had the chance to threaten it. In the end, these detractors were kept in line. Nonetheless, even though she was being urged by the changeling hive to open up Equestria to any and all changelings wishing to visit, Celestia declined out of fear for the safety of any changeling caught by an anti-changeling supporter.

The changelings, at the very least, were very understanding of this situation. “They have to keep in mind that though they have now reformed, they have committed many past transgressions against Equestria as a race before,” Celestia explained their views on the matter to Twilight once. “They have a bad reputation that they must now find a way to shake and replace with a better one, much like you and I are trying to do with Spike.”

It was actually Spike that Twilight was more worried about anyway, as she was left very uncertain by their parting words when he left Canterlot. This was clear even to her friends waiting for her when she finally returned home, accompanied with Starlight. Being the good friends they were, they all quickly assured that, no matter what, things would work out with or without Spike. But as the days turned to weeks since Spike’s departure, Twilight became less and less sure of that, especially when she learned that she had absolutely no further contact with Spike…but her friends had. Trixie, who went back to traveling not long after Spike returned to Vanhoover, apparently had shared mailing info for Spike to Starlight with his permission, and he and Starlight were sporadically writing each other letters since. It soon snowballed from there to Twilight’s other friends too, and it wasn’t long before Twilight would hear of all sorts of things about Spike and how he was doing from them.

Twilight herself, however, never saw a word from Spike.

“You should stop waiting for him to write you first and just write to him instead,” Starlight kept suggesting to Twilight.

“And say what?” Twilight would always ask back in reply. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Starlight, it’s just there’s nothing left for me to say to him that I haven’t said before, and until either of us can push past that barrier, we’re stuck like this.”

And remaining convinced of this, Twilight settled with hearing what was going on in Spike’s life second-hoof through her friends. Fortunately, the news was still good—the young dragon seemed to be doing better and kept busy working for Fly Leaf. Trixie, the next time she passed through Ponyville (and announced that, “in light of recent events,” she intended to do so with even more frequency than she had in the past so to visit more with Starlight), spoke of the bookshop owner with immense praise, assuring all that Spike was in good care with her and it was hard not to believe her.

Rainbow Dash remained unsatisfied though, so next time the Wonderbolts toured up north, she went well out of her way to swing past Vanhoover and pay Spike a surprise visit. She returned to Ponyville afterwards happily reporting that Spike had welcomed her in and both he and Fly Leaf had been very friendly. Rainbow also noted that Vanhoover, for no doubt a variety of reasons, had ended up being one city in Equestria in which the lingering anti-changeling sentiment was “nearly nonexistent,” something Rainbow felt was very important for Spike right now.

“I don’t know how he’d be able to stand it if he had ended up somewhere where it was more common, not after Thorax,” she had reasoned. To Twilight, she added, “I think he really does just need some space…some time to himself…hopefully he’ll figure out what’s stopping him from interacting with us more soon.”

Yet as the weeks started to turn into moons, the situation did not notably change, but Twilight didn’t need to be told why. Despite the mending both of them had already done, she had still shattered Spike’s trust in her, and that simply wasn’t quickly corrected. Worst still was the growing realization that it wasn’t just Spike’s trust that she had damaged—Rainbow Dash remained supportive of Twilight as always but Twilight also knew deep down that, even though she saw it was working out for him, Rainbow hadn’t forgiven her for letting Spike choose to stay in Vanhoover. Additionally, Applejack had suddenly become quicker to question Twilight’s intentions and actions, hesitant to take Twilight up at her word in fear of missing a greater problem like what had happened with Thorax. It seemed she could no longer trust Twilight to be honest at face value. Rarity, on the other hoof, acted ambivalent of the whole matter, but even she tended to be distant when around Twilight…to the fashionista’s credit, she was trying hard not to be in an attempt to be a good friend, but it was still clear that Rarity’s faith in Twilight had been shaken too.

Thankfully, this didn’t seem to be a problem with Pinkie Pie. But then she was also Pinkie Pie—it was rare to see her ever hold a grudge for longer than a few minutes, and when she did, she usually had a good reason. And the fact of the matter was that she just didn’t have such a reason for Twilight.

“What good would it do, anyway?” Pinkie cheerily asked when Twilight brought up the subject, before promptly giving her a cupcake just because she looked like she needed something to cheer her up a little.

Fluttershy also seemed to be on fairly good terms with Twilight, having thought out the past few moons long and hard. “When you get right down to it, Twilight,” she said once while having invited Twilight to talk over a soothing cup of tea, “it wasn’t really your fault Thorax died. I didn’t get to know him as well as Spike or even Starlight, but…I get the distinct impression he would’ve still stood up and tried to oppose Chrysalis even if we had accepted him for what he was in the beginning, and if he was going to do that…then he was always going to be in danger of coming to serious harm in the process. He knew that, and he accepted that. Even if things at the Crystal Empire had gone differently…it may have made no difference. Thorax still could’ve died in the end.”

Twilight sighed, supping from her tea cup. “I know,” she admitted. “It’s just…there are others…like Spike…who don’t see it that way.”

And there were. Like Vanhoover, Ponyville had been blessed with a relatively low number of anti-changeling ponies, but for Twilight, this was a double-edged sword because it also meant a lot of ponies saw Twilight, the instigator of the whole mess, as the one being anti-changeling and many weren’t afraid to say so. Twilight at least took comfort in the fact that these ponies typically kept civil about it. It probably helped that they all knew Twilight better than most. But that didn’t mean they thought she had been right to act as she had, nor that their criticisms still didn’t sting.

And they were right anyway, Twilight knew she had acted completely wrong with Thorax and regretted it deeply…though her deepest regret these days was that she hadn’t ever permitted herself the chance to get to know Thorax in any real capacity. The more she heard about him, the more she saw that he was genuinely a good fellow. He could’ve been a friend. Regardless, Twilight had still meant what she had told Spike in Canterlot; she wanted to rebuild not drown in regret and knew that was the best thing she could do at this point.

And she did it mostly by throwing her support into the changeling cause where she could. She assisted the other princesses with building better relations with the reformed changelings. Spoke in support of the changelings or building better unity with them publicly when given the chance. Discouraged any anti-changeling sentiment where she could if possible. Ultimately it was all little things, but it was her hope that all of these little deeds would add up with time. At the very least, she hoped it put her in a better light and demonstrated that she, too, was learning from her mistakes.

She also wanted to acknowledge who the real heroes were, and in the weeks following the riot she quietly worked with Celestia to try and make the needed arrangements to make it happen. There was some red tape to cut through first before she succeeded, but succeeded she finally did, and as autumn finally settled upon Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle publicly held at her castle an award ceremony for those who assisted in bringing about the changeling Enlightenment—Starlight Glimmer, Trixie Lulamoon, Dragon Lord Ember, Spike the Dragon, and, posthumously, Thorax, for whom a moment of silence was also held. All of them were to be awarded the Equestrian Pink Hearts of Courage, a prestigious award to give…however only some of them were actually there to receive it. Twilight dearly wanted to give the awards to all of them in person if she could, but unfortunately circumstances would not permit all of them to be there, only serving as a reminder of the troubles that had come with this victory they were celebrating.

Thorax obviously couldn’t accept the award, so his younger brother Synthorax was present to accept it in his place, assuring the award would be put on display in Thorax’s memory at the hive.

Ember, while purportedly flattered to receive the award, refused to be present to accept it herself in her continued grudge against Twilight and company, so she sent a particularly non-talkative and unimportant dragon aide to accept the award for her, who then promptly left again almost immediately afterwards.

And Spike simply never showed up.

It wasn’t immediately clear why—he had been sent an invitation to come and Twilight had confirmed he had gotten it…he simply didn’t show. It was assumed that something had delayed him and the ceremony continued on fine without him, but Twilight couldn’t help but note his absence nonetheless. After the ceremony and seeing that Twilight wanted him to have it, Trixie volunteered to take the case containing Spike’s award and go deliver it to him in Vanhoover on her behalf. A few days later though, she returned and apologetically had to give the award back to Twilight—Spike had refused to accept it.

“He never explicitly said why,” Trixie attempted to explain, “but I got the distinct impression that he didn’t think he deserved it.”

“Are you kidding me?” Twilight couldn’t help but gape back. “He’s probably more deserving of that award than anyone!”

“I know that,” Trixie said. “But look at it from his perspective. Everything he did was to try and keep Thorax safe…and he died anyway. Now he’s clearly learning to cope with that fact, but…” she frowned sadly, “…he still thinks he failed at that goal.”

Twilight sighed and accepted back the award. “Well, thank you for trying, Trixie,” she mumbled, disappointed. “…did he at least appreciate the gesture?”

Trixie hesitated. “…Maybe? I did tell him about how the award ceremony had gone, and how there had been an award given to Thorax too, but…he seemed oddly indifferent about it.” She shrugged. “I suppose giving a Thorax an award now might seem a bit…after the fact…” Trixie restored her gaze onto Twilight. “He did ask why you weren’t the one giving him the award instead.”

Twilight swallowed. “What did you tell him?”

“The truth. You were under the impression that he didn’t want to see you, so Trixie volunteered to do it instead.”

“…and what did he say to that?”

Trixie shrugged unhelpfully. “He didn’t. After a long moment of silence, he ended up changing the subject.”

So ultimately all this told Twilight was that, despite the appearance of warming up to her again that Spike had given before, it was mere pittance in comparison to how distant they remained still, and how much she had lost that key figure in her life. Spike arguably wasn’t the only one though. After weeks of off and on prodding from Starlight on whether or not Twilight would continue tutoring her in friendship and Twilight putting off committing to it, Twilight instead decided to announce at the award ceremony that Starlight had more than demonstrated how much she had learned of the power of friendship with her actions at the changeling hive, to the point that Twilight declared Starlight had been a better friend than her by doing so, and thusly concluded she had nothing more to teach Starlight, announcing her graduation from such studies. This meant that Starlight had no obligations staying there in Ponyville and would be free to go her own path, wherever that might take her.

Instead, Starlight chose to stay, as if nothing had changed. “I think you still need me here,” was her only justification. And Twilight certainly couldn’t complain. But nonetheless, things still had changed—now that they were no longer teacher and pupil, their dynamic had shifted. Not necessarily to their detriment, or so Twilight wanted to believe, but they no longer interacted the same, and it still only made her all the more self-conscious of everything that had changed in her life, both good and bad. She wasn’t certain about how she wanted to feel about it.

She was eventually distracted from all of that though when the inquiry at last publicly announced their final ruling, not long following the award ceremony. The inquiry staff, in giving what had happened these past several moons great considerable thought, review, and investigation, decreed that what had happened was “the result of a great many factors, not all of which involved Equestria directly,” citing Queen Chrysalis’s plans for invasion underlying these events as a major example.

Thus, they decided not to pursue any criminal charges against anyone, save of course Chrysalis on the charge of the murder of Thorax, but doing so was virtually old news by that point—Equestria, the Dragon Lands, the Changeling Kingdom, and even a couple other close allies to all three, already had bounties out for the deposed changeling queen seeking her arrest on that and similar charges for well over a moon. Despite all of these parties searching for her though, there remained no trace of Chrysalis and her present whereabouts, nor what she might be planning. But several were starting to hope that it would stay that way—no one seemed too eager to cross paths with her again in any capacity.

Despite that choice to not press charges though, the inquiry still agreed that “key moments of these events were driven by mistaken perceptions, inherent racism, and poor choices by noteworthy participants, and while these perceptions were somewhat understandable given the political and culture climates at the time, they were still in error.” The banishment of Thorax was cited as the most critical, and it was the inquiry’s collected opinion that Equestria must take every step to avoid such a mistake from repeating itself, going so far as to say that “we all should’ve known better to pursue such a banishment on such unfounded reasoning.” As such, they praised those who had stood against this error anyway, most notably Spike for choosing to stand by Thorax so loyally, even when it meant following the changeling into banishment.

To achieve the goal of correcting this wrong though, the inquiry ruled that a series of “corrective actions” would be taken, effective immediately. They first of all ruled that such banishments would no longer be a ruling the princesses of Equestria could make on their own, and instead must be made by a court of law before a “fairly chosen and unbiased” jury. The hope was that this would help combat the sort of biases that had gotten Thorax unfairly banished, giving the convicted a fair chance to defend his or her self and proving their innocence to a court willing to hear it. It also ruled that no one could be banished purely for being a member of a non-ally race, deeming this as “blatant racism” and ultimately unjust.

In a similar vein of thought and to directly address the racism issue, the inquiry pushed for the establishment of a government-built ambassadorial-type role to serve as liaisons between Equestria and any representative of any non-citizen race existing in and out of Equestria, to help build “fairer relations” between such races and to serve as mediators involving members of non-citizen races facing any criminal charges, like Thorax had faced, helping ensure they are charged fairly. To this end and at Twilight’s suggestion in a moment of inspiration, the princesses developed an office of “friendship ambassadors” whose chief goal, as the name suggested, was to promote friendship and good relations between all, established several posts to represent several of Equestria’s current allies, and began seeking appropriate representatives to fill them.

The inquiry also ruled that no princess could henceforth individually pursue to press criminal charges on any such subject on their own without the knowledge or support of all of the other princesses, nor access to Equestria’s many resources, including all divisions of the royal and city guards (Vanhoover officials apparently had taken great issue with Twilight commandeering their city guard), without the explicit approval of the Equestrian government, and proposed the creation of a new department to suit this need. Celestia made immediate plans to bring such a measure before the nobles at next soonest opportunity. In the meantime, the inquiry also decreed that any pony, princess or otherwise, caught disobeying this ruling would be found acting in contempt and could face criminal charges for it…but decreed that for the matter of Thorax, “any pony that could be argued guilty of such deeds” would be left with a stern warning only on this occasion. Mercifully, the inquiry did not list exact names.

This did not mean the inquiry didn’t enact any punishments for what happened, though. Of particular focus was the authority the Crystal Empire and its officials bore on Equestria, which meant better defining just what the Crystal Empire was in relation to the rest of Equestria. Up to now, officially, the Crystal Empire existed as a separate political entity to Equestria, operating independent of it, and was at best merely an ally of Equestria. But since the empire’s return, it had behaved as if it was a part of Equestria, thanks to its rulers being recognized Equestrian citizens, and acting as another member city-state, often informally enjoying various luxuries as such, banishing Thorax from all of Equestria being the most recent example.

The inquiry chose not to rule whether the Crystal Empire had acted illegally per se in that banishment on the grounds that Twilight, agreed to be a princess with authority over all of Equestria at that time, had agreed to the banishment too. But it did agree that, alone, the Crystal Empire lacked authority to solely speak on Equestria’s behalf. It was thus ruled it could not be allowed to do this, limiting its powers to only its lands, and as an added precaution stripped Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor of any powers to rule outside of those stipulations, at least not without the support of all of the other princesses backing it. It also advised the Crystal Empire to further assess their relations with the rest of Equestria so to clearly define its political powers, but left such matters to the Crystal Empire to determine and not the rest of Equestria for much the same reasons.

In regards to Celestia and Luna, the inquiry went easier on them, deciding that a large part of their actions were more due to them being given misinformation than any real wrongdoing on their part. But having learned of both Celestia and Luna secretly devising their own plans to address the matter of Thorax and Spike, independent of each other and without the knowledge or advisement of either the other princesses or the relevant departments of the government, which the inquiry saw ultimately “only helped to aggravate matters,” it was ruled that such practices would not be permitted to continue. Either all of the other princesses or the needed government departments needed to be made fully aware of it henceforth before any action is taken. And as punishment, both Celestia and Luna were put under personal investigation to ensure there were no other “secret actions” they had been undergoing without the knowledge of others (it was later found that they were not) and were denied free access to the royal coffers except for a very small set allowance for the next year. Neither Celestia nor Luna protested this ruling, and if anything, thought it was too “easy-going.”

Twilight herself, however, was another story. The inquiry decided that while initial blame for what had happened fell on more than just her, her actions afterwards in trying to pursue Thorax and Spike—which Twilight decided the inquiry was right when they referred to it as a “vendetta”—were deemed “inexcusable,” and was an “inappropriate use of her powers as a princess,” and this could not be ignored. Because of her actions in the riot to protect the visiting changelings at cost to herself convinced them that she recognized her error and wanted to change her ways, and because they knew better than to mess with things such as Twilight’s element of harmony and her connection with the Cutie Map due to the complex magic involved, they opted to side with Celestia and deny Twilight’s request to resign from her position as princess of friendship. They additionally reasoned that they felt Equestria still needed such a princess, especially after recent events, and it was felt that Twilight could still be capable of fulfilling that role. Regardless of her actions as of late, there was still no denying that Twilight was the leading expert on the subject.

But the inquiry did redefine her powers and roles as a princess. They stripped her of largely all of her non-friendship related political powers and any others that they deemed Twilight wouldn’t still need to carry out her duties as solely the princess of friendship. This left Twilight, politically speaking, as the weakest of the four princesses in Equestria, having little meaningful say in the greater political arena in even just Ponyville, let alone Equestria. They also banned Twilight from henceforth serving in any formal diplomatic capacity in relation to the changelings for a yet-to-be-defined period of time, on the grounds that they felt this was a duty “best left to more capable ponies.”

And even that was not deemed enough, as the most key part of their punishment was to temporarily suspend Twilight of all normal princess duties anyway, barring any emergencies, until such time that an appointed observer (or group of observers) deemed that she had earned the right to have them back and those duties were reappointed. Exactly who would fulfill that role was initially debatable—Twilight had heard an unverified rumor that Spike had been approached to serve in this role but had turned it down, recommending instead someone “unrelated” to the whole event—but eventually a small group of official-looking ponies were assigned for this position. Twilight typically had very little contact with them by design after they were selected, but met with them for a review of where she stood on things every moon following. She was quick to learn that these ponies took their job very seriously…but at the same time didn’t want to be the meanies. They were very positive towards Twilight, and always expressed the belief that Twilight would be able to redeem herself in time.

But as the moons continued to roll past though and fall transitioned into winter, it was clear that it would be some time until she reached that point. While she had her rough days where the weight of all of this became too heavy and felt like more than she could handle, Twilight was in no hurry. Indeed, she felt the punishment was more than fitting and, like the other princesses, made no complaints about it. It would reach its end whenever it did. In the meantime, she voluntarily stepped aside and let other ponies handle Equestria’s affairs for a while, and though there were still times she wished she could at least put in her two bits, she wished her peers the best of luck.

Things then seemed to cool down at last as winter settled upon Equestria. Though still present, the anti-changeling sentiment started winding down to more background noise than a forefront problem. Relations both in and out of Equestria seemed to stabilize, and a few even felt like they might be mending. Throughout this period of time, Celestia and Luna were working at appointing the new friendship ambassadors and selecting who would serve which positions as requested of the inquiry. For the ambassador for the changelings, they had very much wanted to get Spike to for the role, which made sense considering he had been friendly to the changelings before anyone else, so much so many changelings often referred to him as the “first friend” of the changelings. In fact, the changelings loved the idea and were rooting for it to happen too. But despite coaxing from many parties, Spike, while flattered, continually turned down the position. Celestia remarked once that he felt he “didn’t feel ready for it” just yet, and ultimately, not wanting to pressure him, she conceded to his wishes.

Instead, Starlight was eventually approached to fill in this role. She was understandably surprised by this, having not thought she was being considered for any of these ambassadorial positions. So she nearly turned it down for the same reasons Spike did.

But Twilight intervened. “You’re ready, Starlight,” she assured. “What you did in facing Chrysalis alone proved that, but everything else you’ve done before and after that has only further affirmed it.”

Starlight seemed taken aback by this praise. “You really mean that?”

Twilight only nodded, feeling pride for her former pupil that felt good after so many moons of feeling depressed. “Every word.”

Even with that vote of confidence though, Starlight still hemmed and hawed over accepting. But ultimately, after plenty of other ponies started to support her doing this too, she did. This required her leaving first for Canterlot so to undergo some training that had been set up for the position, and then to the Changeling Kingdom so to help oversee a small embassy that the changelings were assembling there at the hive, so Starlight would have someplace to stay in the future whenever she was needed there. She took to the position like a duck to water, promised to come visit all of her friends as often as she could and expected to frequently once the initial setting up of her position was over, but for now she was kept fairly busy with this new assignment.

And ultimately Spike did end up accepting a position as a friendship ambassador for the dragons, but this time more because even he recognized circumstances necessitated it. Despite everything that had happened, Dragon Lord Ember was still interested in pursuing peace between the dragons and the ponies. Unfortunately, she also still bore a grudge against Equestria and refused to work directly with any ponies. But she would with Spike, a fellow dragon, and so he became required to fill in the role, if only so to give Ember someone she trusted to send messages to which he would then relay on to the relevant ponies. According to a letter Rarity had received from him, he remarked that his role in it was far from glamorous nor especially demanding like Starlight’s, explaining that his role in all of it was basically just as a “glorified messenger and someone to help defuse Ember’s temper should anything set it off.” Regardless, he filled in the role nicely and seemed content to do so for however long he was needed.

Eventually Hearth’s Warming started to draw near as winter pressed on. But because Starlight was still away carrying out her new friendship ambassador duties and there was rarely anypony else there these days, Twilight found herself facing an empty castle for the holidays, a prospect that seemed a little too depressing. So when her parents invited her to join them spending the holidays with Cadance and Shining Armor in the Crystal Empire, Twilight didn’t hesitate to accept. Being with family for the holidays felt like just what she needed to boost her sagging morale, and she thought the rest of her family needed it too after suffering through the drama they had all been put through lately.

Yet she found herself wishing she had stayed at her castle after all when, upon returning from her week-long trip, she learned that Spike had paid a surprise visit to Ponyville on Hearth’s Warming Day, visiting with all of Twilight’s friends during his one-day stay.

He had brought no presents though, for which he had to apologize. “Things came up last minute,” Twilight was told he had explained. “So my planned presents are going to have to be delayed, but hopefully I can be getting them to you all here soon.” Nonetheless, he participated in several Hearth’s Warming Day events ponies were throwing and was said to have had a grand time.

Twilight was assured that he had been completely unaware she was out of town for the holidays, lamented that he had missed her as he had hoped to see her too, and was sorry that he couldn’t stay to catch her (apparently, Fly Leaf needed him back in Vanhoover by the day after so to work in the shop). Despite herself though, Twilight still couldn’t help but wonder if it was all a bit too convenient to be a mere coincidence. But whatever had happened, she resigned to the fact that she and Spike had still missed their chance to cross paths, so she accepted it and chose to keep moving on. To her, it seemed like the best course of action to take.

And now winter was about to draw to a close. Winter Wrap Up was coming up soon, and ponies had begun preparing for the shift in seasons. Until then, Twilight kept to herself in her castle, but by now had grown accustomed to it. Being relieved of her princess duties as she had been at least had the upside of granting her lots of free time that she hadn’t had in years. At first, she hadn’t been sure what to do with it all, but after Hearth’s Warming, she began discovering ways to make use of it. She had even taken up something of a pet project—reflecting back on her past, more successful, moments in life, she found herself heartened with her successes in tutoring Starlight and had begun toying with ideas that might, one day, pan out into something larger that would allow her to do it again with someone else…maybe even a whole group.

But most of all, she started to get caught up on her studies and reading, and in many ways she felt like she had fallen back in time to the good old days before she became a princess and was instead just a unicorn pony librarian, trying to find her way in the world with the support of her friends. She decided that this wasn’t necessarily a bad place to be, for it made her feel more like a normal pony again, and as such, felt she could bear the weight of her own flaws and past mistakes a bit better. She still deeply regretted them and wished they had never happened of course…but for now she was finding she could accept that they had happened, right or wrong, and in so doing, clear her mind towards moving past them better.

On a particularly uneventful late winter day though, she found herself reflecting back on what had happened a bit more than usual, and realized it had been a good while since she had heard any news from Spike. This was rapidly becoming something of the new norm for her, and today the significance of that struck her just how much she had adapted to Spike, one time her constant companion, no longer really being a part of her life. She had mixed feelings about that, and thinking about it made her long for his company again…but at the same time she knew precisely why she couldn’t anymore.

And that’s okay, she thought to herself that morning while helping to herself to a lonely breakfast. He has his own life now, one that doesn’t need me to be in it anymore. And after everything that happened…maybe that’s for the better. He was going to grow up and go out on his own eventually anyway…maybe it might as well be now, just so long as he’s safe and ultimately satisfied with where he is.

Nevertheless, this thought left her sitting there and silently pondering the significance of it for quite a while, during which her forgotten bowl of cereal turned soggy.

Starlight Glimmer, by this time, had finished her immediate duties as friendship ambassador and had returned to Ponyville, but today she was still out of the castle so to meet with Trixie and assist with a few tweaks that the stage performer wanted to make in her show. Twilight’s other friends were likewise preoccupied with other projects today as well—Rainbow Dash was away training with the Wonderbolts, Rarity was in Canterlot tending to a small emergency at her boutique there, Pinkie Pie was swamped with a baking order at Sugarcube Corner, Applejack was busy prepping for the upcoming Winter Wrap Up, and Fluttershy had a sick cat she was helping tend to. This meant Twilight had the castle to herself and no other obligations to worry herself with.

Thus expecting no interruptions, Twilight decided to make it a personal day , and after breakfast retreated upstairs to her study. Pulling out her copy of The Interactions of Magic in Pony Relations that she had been gradually reading through the past couple of days and settled down into her favorite reading chair, letting the hours pass by as she let herself be submerged in the intriguing text of her book. She had only been at it for maybe an hour and a half though when she unexpectedly felt a magical tingle run down the base of her spine before halting near her hips.

Then her cutie mark started to pulsate and glow.

Twilight stared down at it for a very, very, long moment in utter silence. She dared not speak, almost convinced that she was imagining this…especially since it had been several moons since her cutie mark had done this. Not since before Thorax was banished. She didn’t think it would do so again anytime soon, either—she suspected the map had been punishing her for her actions too.

But her cutie mark continued to pulsate and glow no matter how long she stared at it, and soon Twilight started to realize with no small amount of shock that this was indeed for real. Gingerly setting aside her book on a nearby side table, she rose and, while still occasionally glancing back at her cutie mark in case it abruptly stopped this behavior, she hesitantly stepped out of her study and through the corridors of her castle, heading for the throne room. She paused beside the open doorway for a long moment, uncertain still about actually entering. But seeing that she wouldn’t get answers until she did, she pushed ahead and turned into the room itself.

The crystalline map set in the center of the room was indeed active when she entered, displaying the usual magical, three-dimensional, projection of Equestria upon it, and circling over it was an image of Twilight’s cutie mark, thus settling any of Twilight’s doubts. To her shock, she had indeed been called on a friendship mission. It seemed, however, that she was the only one who had been called, and as she drew closer to the map, she was further surprised to see that it wasn’t calling her to go anywhere, as her cutie mark was circling over Ponyville—specifically, her own castle. This only baffled Twilight further as she puzzled over the map. Just who was the map expecting her to help? There was no one else here at the castle except herself…wasn’t there?

As if answering that mental question, Twilight’s gaze was drawn back to the throne room’s open doors when she heard the sound of someone politely knocking on the castle’s front door echo through. Twilight remained rooted where she was, glancing between the map and the direction of the knock for a couple of moments, attempting to process just what was happening here, when the knock coming a second time spurred her legs into motion, moving her in the direction of the castle foyer. There, she paused on the foyer staircase, staring at the closed castle doors, wondering who or what might be on the other side when she heard the knock politely come for a third time. Clearly, whoever it was, they weren’t in too much of a hurry for someone to answer.

Realizing this meant that whoever was knocking might not decide to stay and wait for much longer unless someone answered the door soon urged Twilight forward again, and she hurried across the foyer to the door. Putting one hoof on the latch, she paused to take a deep and calming breath before opening it, bracing herself for whomever she was going to meet on the other side.

The whomever proved to be the usual mail pony, a white and grey earth stallion who had been delivering Twilight’s packages to her for years now, even before she had become a princess. He politely tipped his blue hat at her when she opened the door. “Morning princess,” he greeted politely and hefted up a rectangular package in one hoof, “Got your package here for you.”

Twilight just stared at the package though, further perplexed. “I wasn’t expecting to receive any packages,” she mumbled aloud, brow furrowing.

“Really?” The mail pony turned the package back around so to read the label attached to its top. “It’s addressed to you…looks like it was sent from your favorite book publisher too, so it’s really no less surprising than a lot of the other packages I’ve delivered to you in the past.” He proffered the package to her yet again.

Twilight timidly picked it up with her magic and studied the address label herself, confirming everything the mail pony said. Still, she frowned, finding the package’s arrival odd. She knew she hadn’t requested anything shipped to her at all in recent weeks…but maybe she had preordered something sometime back and was simply forgetting about it now? “Well,” she began slowly, “I guess I’ll find out what it’s about shortly, won’t I?”

“Guess so,” the mail pony responded with a grin before holding out a clipboard and pencil. “Sign here, please.”

Twilight signed for the package then, after bidding the stallion a quick farewell, she retreated back into her castle. She stopped to study the package for a few moments longer, only to reaffirm everything she already knew about it. A routine package addressed to her, sent from her preferred book publisher that she typically ordered books from. Gently shaking the package to feel what was inside, as well as its dimensions, suggested that it did likely contain a book. She found absolutely no other reason to be suspicious of it at all and a voice in her head told her she was being very paranoid and silly about this.

And yet, as her thoughts went back to the map and how it had seemed to call her to a friendship mission here at the castle just moments before…

Twilight took the package and started back upstairs, first stopping back at the throne room so to glance at the map again. She saw it was still active, and still had her cutie mark circling over the same location, calling her attention to here at the castle. She assumed there was something here that it expected her to do…and this package and whatever was in it seemed to be her only clue as to what that might be. She took the package back up to her study then, setting it down on the side table next to her reading chair, and proceeded to open it.

Inside, placed neatly atop a bed of packing peanuts, was a red-bound, hardcover book of noteworthy size, positioned so it’s cover faced downwards and out of view. Sitting atop of it was a slip of paper. Twilight initially thought it might be an order receipt, but after picking it up to read, instead found it was the common form letter this publisher usually sent out with their books, thanking the buyer for their purchase, and listing a few comments about what critics who had pre-read the book before its publication had thought of it. Curious, Twilight took the time to read through some of these comments, noting that many of the comments were quite praiseworthy of the book.

Then Twilight realized that some of the events briefly mentioned in these comments were entirely too familiar. Eyes going wide, Twilight immediately turned her attention to the book and hefted it out of its box to look at its cover for the first time. Printed in bold, gold-foil, seriffed lettering at the center was its title:


GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY



A True Story



Written by Spike the Dragon




Twilight stared at the cover for a long moment, scarcely daring to believe the author it credited was indeed the same dragon she knew. But quickly flipping to the back of the book where the “about the author” information was printed only confirmed it: at the top of the book’s rear-most page was a clear picture of the Spike she had always known, leaving absolutely no room for doubt. It showed Spike rather calmly seated beside a window and gazing thoughtfully out it—it seemed like an eerily surreal but grown-up picture of the young dragon, as Twilight had always known Spike to be someone who always liked to ham it up when having his picture taken. But there was none of that here.

Written below the picture was a brief paragraph:

“For most of the past two seasons, Equestria has been gripped in wonderment as the thought impossible took place, and ponies were suddenly finding themselves allying with changelings—creatures once thought to be vile enemies, now wishing to be our friends. Details of how this could have happened and why have been kept basic and rather vague to the public and many have thirsted to know the full story, especially about the changeling named Thorax who helped make it happen. Now, at long last, that story becomes clear in this autobiographical book written by Spike the Dragon, telling how he first met Thorax and how he lived—and died—bringing about such a dramatic change in his race, paving the way for ponies everywhere to change how they view changelings. Though this is his first published work, it is his hope that this book can “set the story straight” for all and bring closure to the matter at last.

Spike the Dragon lives in Vanhoover, Equestria.”

Twilight read through the paragraph slowly, comprehension that Spike, her Spike, had successfully written and published a book, and without her knowing no less, slowly sinking in. But then she noticed there was something like a bookmark sticking out from within the pages, and curious, she flipped to the front of the book where it was located. She found it was an old and worn all-season train pass issued in Spike’s name, and realized with a start it was the exact train pass she herself had found in Spike and Thorax’s room when searching for them in Vanhoover. It was still scribbled over in the margins with strange, circular symbols with regular notches taken out of them. Twilight didn’t recognize these symbols the first time she saw this pass, but now knew them to be characters from the changeling language and realized they had quite likely been written by Thorax himself. Twilight was stunned Spike had been willing to give up this memento for this very reason.

But then she turned her attention to the page it had been bookmarking and saw it was the book’s dedicatory page. It read:


-To Thorax,



My dearest friend, gone before his time, and whom I dearly miss.





and to Twilight,



For never giving up on me, even when I had given up on her.




Then, scribbled in pen into the blank space sitting directly under that was:



Twilight breathed in sharply and squeezing her suddenly misty eyes shut, she pressed the open book to her chest for a long moment. She remained like that for a good while, trying to recompose herself while at the same time her mind spun, trying to process just what Spike was trying to tell her, and, most importantly, if she was actually interpreting it right.

In the end, she decided there was only one way she could be certain.

Putting The Interactions of Magic in Pony Relations back on its shelf, Twilight instead settled back into her reading chair with Spike’s book, flipping to the front and beginning to read. She read for hours, almost into the night, and through it all, her emotions were heavily tried…but she did not stop reading until she had finished, having read the book from cover to cover.

It was only then that the map decided that she had finished her friendship mission.