//------------------------------// // The Mane Attraction // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Tia, Ok, I'm sick of wasting my breath on repetitive insults on you, you simply aren't worth me wasting my time on it anymore. Anyway, this pathetic town is throwing yet another useless festival. This time it is about helping hooves and music or some dumb shit like that. I think they claimed that it was to help idiotic foals in third world countries wipe their asses but whatever it is, it is all for the wrong reasons. If this festival was as great as it was supposed to be, it would have been a festival to help me in my quest to make Fluttershy my friend. Some famous singer, most likely overpaid and overrated, came to town and from what I understand she was a friend of Applejack as a filly before she went on to become a mindless diva. What is pathetic about her is that she hands out fake stamped kisses and lets a most likely gay manager run her life and has obviously gay backup dancers as part of her performance. I mean seriously, the way those backup dancers were dressed you could tell they screw each other from a hundred miles away. Now this diva, Countess Coloratura, must have at least some sense since she does hang out with the school foals and has them go up and sing on stage with her but what I'm shocked by is that after Applejack exposed that gay manager for being a fraud using MY help. After that, she finally dropped the diva act and put on a decent performance. Now yeah it was nothing to write home about but it sounded way better than the shit she was pulling earlier. Now for what is disgusting, yet another sappy reunion. I swear, when I saw her and Applejack become friends again and bond like they did so long ago I thought I was going to vomit. If there is one thing in this land that is truly repulsive, it is other ponies' happiness. To be honest, if I'm not completely happy, then they shouldn't be. To me, they are undeserving of anything short of complete and absolute misery since that is what you cursed upon me when you banished me to this hellhole. What a shame their reunion managed to go so well. Now I would have just sat on my flank and did nothing but I hated that Svengallop idiot even worse than my acquaintances so I figured I may as well be nice for once and only once! Irritated By Sappy Reunions, Princess Twilight "The Best Ever" Sparkle Dear Princess Celestia, I must say, I am a might impressed with Twilight right now. I don't know if she did it solely because she hated that Svengallop feller but she helped my friend see how he was manipulating her. Now RaRa and I are friends again and I couldn't be happier. Maybe you should consider rewarding Twilight by letting her come home and putting one of her old friends in that castle of hers. If you were to do that, Ponyville would throw a huge celebration, there would be lots of cake and you'd be the guest of honor. Let me know if this will happen because if it will, I'll notify everypony that a true celebration would be in order AFTER Twilight is gone. Your Humble Subject, Applejack Dear Princess Twilight, I have heard from everypony in town that you are a bitch but I can't help but think otherwise. You helped me realize that Svengallop was manipulating me and now that I will be calling the shots, I'm much happier. I don't know if you'd be up for this but until I find a new manager, would you mind being my manager? From what I understand you are a great organizer and I could certainly use that right now. Sincerely, RaRa (Formerly Countess Coloratura) Twibitch, Ugh, here we go again. A pony has a reunion with an old friend and in the end things go well and all you can do is bitch? I get it, you are miserable and think that everypony else should be miserable too. That isn't how the world works Twily. Most ponies in this world deserve to be happy and have things go good for them. Key word though, most! Now that Svengallop asshole certainly doesn't deserve anything short of misery and pestilence but there is another pony I can think of that doesn't deserve to be happy either, YOU! I just don't get it with you, I made you my protege, you got a lot of action with your friends up here, I sent you to a backwater dump to get away from me, I made you a princess, you got a fancy castle yet you continue to bitch about how miserable you are. I am going to let you in on something right now Twily. You want to know who is making you miserable? You! There are plenty of ponies in this world that live lives that truly are bad yet they are at least accepting of their situation and don't bitch about it. They actually do something about it and in a lot of situations, they make their lives better and they aren't even royalty. I'm sure if I was to put any of them in your situation, they would be ecstatic, work as hard as he or she could to be a good prince or princess and embrace Ponyville instead of bitching all the time and only screwing the spa twins. I am a little bit impressed with something though. I am shocked that you actually helped RaRa see that manager of hers was being an asshole and was indirectly responsible for her and Applejack rekindling their friendship. That however, isn't going to make me want to give you a gold star or anything like that. Maybe someday you will finally appreciate the situation I put you in and maybe get on a path to get off of my shit list but that path will be long one and I'll be honest, I don't ever see you doing it. Having No Faith in You, Princess Celestia Dear Applejack, I am very happy that you and this old friend of yours were able to reunite and be friends again. I am also glad that you were able to get her to see that manager of hers was manipulating her but please don't go giving any credit to Twilight, especially to her face. I certainly don't want her already overblown ego to get even worse and I'm damn sure that nopony else does either. Let me say this though, just because Twilight decided to do something to rid RaRa of that bastard manager, that does not mean that I will let her come home nor will I put one of her old friends in power down there. For starters, neither my sister or myself want to have to put up with her and her royal snootiness. Second, she has made it clear to me that she enjoys making all of you miserable so much that even if I were to offer letting her come home, she would reject it. Third, I don't feel like ascending one of her friends into an Alicorn. If I did that, they would all be demanding it and I simply don't have a set of yellow wings for Lemon Hearts and I certainly can't have her walking around with wings a different color than her coat now can I? Sorry Applejack but you and your miserable town are stuck with her. I do think I know how to improve her attitude though, just brainwash PETA Girl and then give her to Twilight as an offering. Maybe if she finally gets her initiated she will be in a better mood and then want to befriend the rest of you. Yeah chances of that are next to zero but it is worth a shot, right? Sincerely, Princess Celestia RaRa, You're fucking kidding me, right? I do one little nice thing for you and you suddenly think I'm going to drop everything I have to do just to make sure your career continues without any problems? Sorry but I simply have too many things on my schedule, such as going to the spa and trying to initiate that hot yellow pegasus you probably saw walking around. If you want to try and find somepony to manage things for you, go bug this pony named Moondancer up in Canterlot. She is a great organizer too and I figure she should be punished with the burden of dealing with you since she shared some information with Celestia that she shouldn't have. Don't worry though, despite her being a little snitch, she can be pretty nice. Hoping You'll Bug Moondancer Instead, Princess Twilight Sparkle