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// Make New Friends but Keep Discord 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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To the Most Wasteful Monarch Ever, 

So you are doing this Gala shit again and you expect me to help you set it up since I have wings now?  What about Luna, why doesn't she ever have to put up with an event that most ponies don't give a shit about?  Let me guess, she is blackmailing you threatening to expose how you screw your students to Equestria if she doesn't get out of this.  

Now I am glad that you only invited a select few ponies to this, including one of my old friends who I do hope to seduce while I'm up here.  Ok, I know this is going to be one big troll party because you had the audacity to give Discord a ticket!  When I first found this out I was not thrilled but then I realized that maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing after all, it would beat the shit out of the last Gala you cursed upon me. 

Now I am going to give props to Discord for making the event interesting although I am not thrilled over the joke he made about my flying abilities and I am pissed over you laughing at it.  You should know that I can fly much better than him and his shitty mismatched wings.  I do have one question though, why the hell were you in such a good mood?  I thought that Discord nearly sending a guest to another dimension was bad at first until I realized she was trying to steal my Fluttershy away from me!

Now who are you going to invite next time to liven things up, Chrysalis, Tirek, have your sister turn evil again or will you find a way to resurrect Sombra and invite him?  Whoever it is, it certainly couldn't be worse than how the Galas used to be back when I was still able to spend Gala nights having fun in my old study tower....oh how I miss those days. 

Still Hating the Gala, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 

P.S.  Oh and just so you know, that hippie that Discord nearly sent to another dimension, I found drugs on her so I hauled her home and tortured her.  Right now she is in my dungeon, being tortured daily and being fed moldy bread with dirty water.  Just thought I'd let you know that I'm enforcing Equestria's laws. 





To the Most Useless Monarch Ever, 

For starters, you should know that innocent little me would never screw my students!  The fact that you would even think such a thing is absolutely heartbreaking!  Now regarding why I made you do this, I made you do this because I knew it would inconvenience you and there is nothing I love more than seeing you be miserable. 

Also, I invited Discord because not only is he a lot of fun to hang around but I knew he would make this the best Gala ever and that is exactly what he did.  Regarding his joke about your terrible flying, I laughed because he is right.  He can fly better than you, much better than you.  It is a good thing that your wings decided to work for a change when you went up against Tirek or Equestria would have been fucked. 

There is one thing that I will thank you for, I will thank you for enforcing Equestria's laws.  We certainly do not need drug addicts running out and about in our country.  Next time you torture the bitch, please make her confess where she is getting that shit from so we can find out who needs to be punished.  If those drugs are coming from abroad, I will seriously consider closing our ports and ban all imports, we don't need shit like that in our superior country. 

The Best Monarch Ever, 

Princess Celestia 





Dear Discord, 

I am very happy that you made the Gala lively for a change but I do want to know one thing.  Why the hell didn't you send that hippie to another dimension?  I know that Fluttershy was mad and would have likely unfriended you or whatever the hell it is called when you tell somepony when you end the friendship but still, she is an annoying druggie who's singing is downright hideous.  

Don't worry though, I'm not going to punish you for failing to send that bitch into oblivion because Twilight notified me that she currently has that Tree Hugger pony in her dungeon and is torturing her and feeding her meals that will hopefully kill her before too long.  

Now I'm not sure if you and Fluttershy are just friends or what but don't tell PETA Girl about this because the last thing I need is for Fluttershy to write me constantly and somehow find a way to bitch more than Twilight.  I don't need that kind of stress in my life, alright?

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia 





Dear Princess Celestia, 

Fluttershy and I are just friends and in the end I didn't send her to another dimension because Fluttershy was my first friend and I really didn't want to lose that.  Yes I know she is a drug addict and would be better off cast into another realm but remember, friendship is magic. 

Now I do know that Twilight apprehended her and hauled her off to imprison her somewhere and don't worry, I won't say a word to Fluttershy about this.  She was bitching enough at the Gala about things and I certainly don't want to have to put up with it either. 

Happy to Have Made the Gala Fun, 

Discord





Dear Twilight, 

What happened to Tree Hugger?  I was going to escort her back to the train station after the Gala but she went missing.  I know Twinkleshine saw you dragging her home and heard you bitching about not being able to get any because of a criminal needing to be jailed.  

Tell me where she is or I'll have Discord troll you and troll you bad. 

Angry, 

Fluttershy 





Dear PETA Girl, 

I do have a question, who the fuck is Tree Hugger?  Now yes I did have to haul somepony to the local jail but he had drank a bit too much and had to be detained long enough he could sober up.  Also, I was upset that having to deal with a drunk prevented me from scoring with Twinkleshine but I certainly did not drag anypony home with me.  Don't worry, I'm sure that friend of yours will show up, eventually. 

Hoping You'll let me Initiate You Someday, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle