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// Appleoosa's Most Wanted 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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To Whoever is in Charge, 

Those bastard writers have left me out again!  What gives, I am the pony this entire series is built around.  Hell, when Lauren Faust was still 100% in charge in season one, I was in every single episode!  Now could you do me a favor and make sure shitty episodes like this don't happen again?

Pissed at You, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





Dear Twilight, 

Tell someone who gives a shit.  You are nothing special and Faust is gone, long gone.  My Little Pony:  Friendship is Magic is about a whole lot more than you.  I could easily lower my fist and smash you like a bug but I choose not to do so because like Princess Celestia, I get a great amount of joy in seeing you suffer!

Sincerely, 

God-Emperor Brian Goldner, CEO of Hasbro Inc. 

P.S.  Oh and listen to Princess Celestia, you're never going to score with PETA Girl although I will let you in on a secret, a day will come when somepony will come across PETA Girl's path that she will wind up initiating!  





Dear Princess Celestia, 

I don't know what to do about those fillies anymore.  They wind up running off to find a known outlaw because they are more curious than a coyote.  Yes nothing went wrong in the end and Troubleshoes found his true calling but still, how do I get them to listen?

Sincerely, 

Applejack 





Dear Applejack, 

Tell you what, simply tell those three that if they continue to misbehave and defy orders, that you will haul them up to me and I will put them to work again.  After all, enslaving them beats the shit out of paying overpriced maids who bitch about their working conditions almost as much as Twilight does. 

Hoping You'll Provide Me More Slave Labor, 

Princess Celestia 





Dear CMC, 

I'd like to thank y'all for helping me find my true calling.  Yes it isn't competing but I finally get to be part of what I love the most, the rodeo. 

Sincerely, 

Troubleshoes





Dear Troubleshoes, 

You're welcome.  It is what we do but we do have one favor to ask, if Princess Celestia ever tries to turn us into slave labor again could we hide in your trailer?  It would be much appreciated. 

Sincerely, 

The CMC