//------------------------------//
// Bloom & Gloom 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Bitchlestia, 

Once again I got left out of an episode.  I have this fancy new castle and the idiotic writers are already leaving me out and to make matters worse, I approached Fluttershy and told her that I had a very rare and extremely dangerous animal I needed her to remove from my sleeping chambers.  Now normally I thought she would gladly come and check on the problem but she slugged me and called me a damn liar who only wanted her body.  Well no shit Flutters, you really think I'd come to you about removing an endangered animal for the fun of it?

Next time I actually do come across an endangered animal I will just kill it and eat it to spite her and after that, drop the corpse on her doorstep with the message, "Had you gave yourself to the Sparkle, this thing would still be alive." 

Angry I Was Left Out Again, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle





Dear Princess Luna, 

What the fuck was up with that nightmare?  Why the hell did you allow me to go through so much hell before finally coming to save me?  Did you think it was funny that I had to be a bug pony, I mean a pest control pony?  Did you think it was funny for me to be made fun of because of my mark and then once it was gone, watch my family's home get incinerated by lightning bugs?

And then the second part, I lose my friends because of a mark?  Something magical happens and suddenly my best friends turn into grade A bitches and then once I have that mark taken away they got their marks and shunned me.  I can't help but wonder if you aren't a troll who likes to prowl around unseen in ponies' dreams and laugh as they go through all their stress. 

And why the hell did you let me get disowned over a fish cutie mark?  Are you truly that sadistic?  I had learned from Scootaloo that you helped her in her nightmare but all you do is sit back and laugh until I had become psychologically scarred, maybe for life?

I suppose I should grudgingly thank you for finally saving me and my friends from our nightmares in the end but still, couldn't you have woke me up sooner?  I know Twilight is always claiming Celestia is a troll but maybe it is you who is a troll!  Whatever, I really don't give a fuck.  Perhaps next time Celestia will save me from my dreams since you were probably too busy prowling around in a dream where you could steal fritters or whatever it is you gorge yourself on. 

Upset You Didn't Wake Me up Sooner, 

Apple Bloom 





Dear Princess Luna, 

I am not thrilled that you would bring Celestia into my dream to try and get a free porno out of it and I am even more unhappy that you would wake me up before I got into Fluttershy's coat but not until after she beat me to a pulp.  Now I know your sister will never let me live this down.  Apparently you are just as much of a troll as your sister is.  Oh well, at least Cadence is always there for me. 

Upset You Woke Me Up, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





Dear Princess Twilight, 

We must say that we enjoyed your dream for the most part, but especially when PETA Girl started beating the shit out of you.  The two of us have come to the conclusion that you have to be the most pathetic pony on the face of the planet since you can't even score with her in your dreams.  We knew that if we didn't hurry up and wake you before too long that she may have killed you and you know the old rumor about death in dreams, you would have actually died and neither one of us wanted to deprive your acquaintances of your presence. 

We look forward to visiting your next dream involving Fluttershy and hopefully we will get a good porno instead of a huge beat down. 

Laughing You Didn't Get Any in Your Dream, 

Princess Luna and Princess Celestia 

P.S.  Could you quit with your bitching Twily?  It is getting really old and like I have said in the past, it gives you more spa time.  Perhaps to save yourself more embarrassing dreams, you should just let the twins you love so much keep you awake all night long. - Princess Celestia 





Dear Apple Bloom, 

You know what, I was able to get to your dream as soon as I could.  Your nightmare wasn't the only one that I had to deal with that night.  As you saw, your friends were having nightmares of their own and I did have to save Twilight from getting the shit kicked out of her by Fluttershy.  Given what an ungrateful little bitch you were to me in your letter, you're on your own from now on.  If you have a nightmare that will scar you for life, deal with it, it ain't my problem anymore. 

No Longer Caring About Your Problems, 

Princess Luna 

P.S.  Oh and using such language is very uncouth for a filly your age.  I am contemplating approaching your sister over this because I am sure that she will do whatever it takes to teach you some respect.  





Dear Princess Twilight "I can't even score in my dreams" Sparkle, 

Wow, you truly are sad.  I am so glad my sister took me with her into your dream because seeing you fail to initiate PETA Girl was simply too funny.  Now I'm wondering, shall I tell Fluttershy that you can't even initiate her in your dreams or should I let Luna do it?  She knows I have no power in the dream realm and I'm sure Luna would gladly do it since she has come to enjoy your suffering as much as I do.

Oh and about killing an endangered animal, don't even try it.  If you do, I will not only make you immortal, but I'll do the same with your acquaintances and they can continue to make your life hell for all eternity.  So if you know what is good for you, don't go killing endangered species, alright?

Laughing at You, 

Princess Celestia