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// Power Ponies 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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To the Worst Monarch Ever, 

Right now I am one pissed off princess.  I had spa time scheduled yet you are forcing me to not only fix up your old castle but have to take those bitchy acquaintances with me as well.  I want to know something, do you even have any plans to relocate to that dump you are making me clean or are you simply abusing your power of longevity to force me to do things I really don't want to do?

Of course I had to take Spike with us too despite the fact that he would simply get in the way and cause more problems than he is worth.  Luckily he has some comic book that he can go off somewhere and read so that I can get things done and those acquaintances can try to not screw everything up.  Now I'm going to admit, I was hoping I could haul Fluttershy into that secret chamber, give her some tender kisses and get her to let me initiate her as a friend.

Unfortunately though, that would not happen because Spike just had to read his dumb comic book in there and I don't know what kind of fucked up comic books they sell up there but he read something in there, he began to get sucked into it, we went to save him and then we were all sucked in and had become the characters in there, the Power Ponies. 

My first thought was, "Well shit on a stick, isn't this just dandy?"  It didn't help any that to get back to Equestria we had to defeat the Mane-iac who turned out to be some pony with a bunch of tentacles, an ego bigger than yours, an overgrown hair dryer and a bunch of lowly assistants who seemed gayer than a three-bit coin.  

Spike thought it was so great we had "super-powers" but the thing is, it took us a while to learn how to harness them but Spike was crying and whining because he had no superpowers.  Big deal, he is just as worthless in the comic book as he was in real life so what was the difference?

As it turned out we truly sucked in that comic book, so bad that I began to think that maybe if I did something stupid, we would either let the Mane-iac win because I could get used to Maretropolis or perhaps she would kill me.  Hey, I wasn't in Equestria or in our dimension so if I died there all would have been great, right?

Ultimately we got captured and while I figured the Mane-iac was going to fry us with her hair dryer and I would finally be put out of my misery, Spike just had to show up and ruin things.  As it turns out she ain't all that bright and apparently Fluttershy had the ability to become a monster when she got mad there.  I could just imagine what would happen had I tried to initiate her there, she would have killed me and I would be free of the misery you cursed upon me.

Now naturally, we defeated her and got back home, unfortunately.  Oh and I do want to give you a progress report on the castle.  We didn't get jack shit done, I was unable to initiate PETA girl and Spike's comic suddenly disappeared.  Oh well, it's not like you're going to be moving back into that dump anyway so what the hell does it matter, right?

The Only Super-hero Princess Ever, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





To A Powerless Princess, 

I give you six one job and you manage to fuck it up by getting sucked into a comic book?  If you honestly expect me to believe that you must be even dumber than I thought.  I know the comic book store here sells enchanted comics but come on, they are enchanted because of the story lines, not because they are predatory and like to eat ponies and dragons. 

I am not surprised though that you didn't get anything done on that castle and I personally don't care.  I have no plans to move back out there and I simply wanted to see how the six of you, or should I say seven, would fail.  Apparently that wasn't the only way you failed either.  It is very pathetic that you, a princess, could not even manage to keep your dragon out of the room where you hoped to initiate PETA girl.  Oh well, you would have failed anyway so no big loss there. 

As I sit here and watch you continue to be a miserable failure even after your ascension I can't help but wonder.  I can't help but wonder, "What if I had sent Moondancer instead?"  Chances are she would have succeeded all the time and I'm certain she would have successfully seduced PETA girl a long, long time ago. 

The Most Powerful Princess, 

Princess Celestia

P.S.  Unlike your sorry ass, I do not have a big ego!  Egotistical ponies are the losers who are inferior and think they are great.  I don't have to think I am great because I am the embodiment of perfection and you know it!





To the Mane-iac, 

You hurt a defenseless little firefly?  Why you're just a great big meanie, there I said it!  Why don't you pick on somepony your own size!  *ROAR!*

Your Worst Nightmare, 

Saddleranger 





To Saddleranger, 

I find it quite funny that I fucked up your friends and you didn't give a shit but I hurt a firefly and you go into complete bitch mode.  Just wait until I get out of this comic book you little cunt, I will hunt you down, discover you are a pathetic doormat PETA member and I will slaughter all your animals while you sleep....and then proceed to initiate you as a friend since the Masked Matterhorn can't.  

Hoping to Make You Mine, 

The Mane-iac