Dear Princess Celestia,
Those sorry bastards at Hasbro have decided to exclude me from an episode, again. Here I am, a princess, and they exclude me. It was bad enough that they excluded me before you cursed me with this title but now? They should be putting me in every single episode now since I'm more important than ever.
I suppose one positive of this is that I can go and get an extra long pampering at the spa. From what I understand Fluttershy was excluded too so maybe we could go together and I along with the spa twins could initiate her.
Hoping to Initiate Fluttershy,
Princess Twilight Sparkle
Dear Ms. Harshwinny,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you so much for liking our routine so much! Rainbow thought you were a stuck up, snobby bitch but we knew you were awesome, more awesome than her for sure!
Sincerely,
Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom
To My Fluttershy Desiring Inferior Monarch,
Bitch, bitch, bitch, that is all you seem to know how to do? I honestly don't blame the writers for excluding you. Audiences aren't going to want to have to see your bitchy ass in every single episode. Oh and regarding Fluttershy, you'll have to let me know if you and the spa twins can score with her. I'm sure if she finds out you want her to go to the spa with her, she'll run off and hide in Rarity's bed.
If you do somehow manage to initiate Fluttershy, let me know. I want to know all the juicy details but chances are I will wind up being disappointed in you again.
Your Far Superior Monarch,
Princess Celestia
Dear Cutie Mark Crusaders,
I want to ask you a question, are the rest of the ponies in your class completely retarded? None of them put together a routine that was even deserving of anypony seeing. Anyway, congratulations on impressing me and telling me the truth about Crash and what she really thought about me. Next time, somepony else will coach all of you. I certainly do not want a bitch like Rainbow doing any more coaching.
Sincerely,
Ms. Harshwinny