Eventually after giving Abel and Théodore time to work on feelings, we slowly approached the trailer and I knocked:
"Abel. We need to talk."
"now isn't a good time Noah"
"Come on man this is seriously important! A situation of grave importance or something"
"did that one kid get his wank caught in the ceiling fan again?"
Théodore and Abel's laugher could be heard though the door
"I know about Théodore and your wife."
Immediately the locks and latches unhooked
He came out with an angry expression
"what?"
"I know she was a pony. Also that's kinda kinky."
I chuckled and looked like he was about to break down.
"dad easy. He is the one who brought me here."
Abel looked at me with his jaw dropped.
"It may have been an accident that took them away but it was also an accident that brought you back"
Abel gave me the worlds manliest bro hug ever conceived
"Don't get all sappy yet I'm bringing you with us dude"
"yeah!"
"what do you mean us? Also who was that?"
"Oh that's Clyde. He is my shadow and also my bro. And I'm pretty sure you are going to come with us."
He took a glance at Clyde and instead of going wide eyed like I expected he simply nodded.
"Ok I was expecting a bit more of a reaction then that. Anyway so I met your wife sky. Nice mare I just wish I wasn't in a ca-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"Holy shit was that twilight?"
"what?"
"Never mind just some magic shenanigans. So do you feel up for one hell of a reunion?"
His eyes lit up like a goddamm Christmas tree as he grabbed a backpack and some other things from his trailer.
"are we going to tell him about your curse?"
"I sure as hell hope not"
"what curse?"
"Oh goddamit fine, gather round kids I'm telling a tale. This is the story all about how..."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------two hours later...
"...and that's how shit went down"
"dude that's harsh. What happened to your wife?"
"Oh you know, first came love. Then came marriage, then the abrupt and tragic death of..Beth, then came blame, then came despair, two hearts broken beyond repair, it was truly a bad day, a bad day indeed, D-I-V-O-R-C-E"
It got a lot darker then I intended but the cyanide and happiness comic I changed a bit summed up what happened to a T.
"I know that sounds bad but guess what? it got worse"
"To her she saw the doctor saying beth was dead. But what I saw? A few days later, Death himself gave me a visit and was fucking taunting me with what I could only assume was my child. He then stepped through a portal looking thing taking little Beth with him... (Sigh) at least the place looked nice."
Congratulations, there I said it. The truth came out. You now all know what happened to my wife. Are you happy now?!
dude calm down, do you want me to just say what else happened quick?
No Clyde. They deserve to see the whole story, even the nitty-gritty. sorry princess I uh got a bit carried away.
its fine. Take all the time you need.
Ok let's just skip to when we got to the wank shack.
must thy still refer to-
IT DEFINES WHO I AM!
Anyway...
we arrived at where the portal was and steeped through the portal. Unfortunately I forgot about the drop at tilted towers and we ended up in cloudsdale instead falling through the sky, only this time instead of me getting all wet and soggy in a lake again Clyde managed to do some things with portals and then we ended up at the tree house.
"huh you two are back early- IS THAT ANOTHER HUMAN?!"
"NO TIME I NEED MA GUN"
"wha-"
"no time! Sorry miss twilight!"
We grabbed my gun and made a break for sugar cube corrner, avoiding the shook townsfolk. We arrived at the bakery just in time to see my and Théodore's doppelgänger just found the weeping angel statue and put a muffin in its mouth. Nice.
We attempted to followed them to the past but instead of ending up back on nightmare night we ended up on the roof of the castle two hours ago. Clyde wanted a flashy entrance and then two hours later here we are.
"Sorry about this but I promised Abel he would see his wife soon and I believe it's time for the grand finale of this crazy day"
"Abel, Théodore, come follow me."
We left the court room without being dismissed
...what about him?
Celestia pointed to the unconscious asshat
i think I have an idea.
"and may I ask what thou have planed?
A big grin crept on to Clyde's face
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------meanwhile
We approached the gala once again and made our way to the entryway with everyone looking in aw, the entry gate was just ahead and I walked outside to the station.
"Hey sky, I got somebody here about a disturbance...in his pants?"
She looked at me confused and I took her to the gate
"BEHOLD, THE WONDERS OF MMMMMMMMMMMMAGIC!"
Abel and Théodore both moved to sky with shit eating grins,
"Enjoy"
I left and walked over to the cheese cart.
Only two pieces remained,
"can I have one?"
My heart exploded and it seems like I'm not eating alone tonight.