//------------------------------// // Kiss a Pony, Then Vomit // Story: Stalker - Call Of Pony // by SureFreeD //------------------------------// A/N : Okay this human x pony thing is creeping me out, this will be the last chapter with human and pony romance in it. Sorry but it seems wrong, and by wrong it outright disturbing! Nikolai was sitting in the uncomfortable toilet seat, shouting over the ponies beyond the door. "Toilet paper!" "What's that?" "How do you wipe your ass after taking a shit?!" "Umm...what?" Nikolai was completely mind blown, these ponies don't even know what toilet paper meant, or wiping your arse after using the craphole. "Do you have paper, parchments and stuff?" Nikolai asked, "Yeah I do, plenty of them," Twilight answered, "Toilet paper means paper, but ALOT softer than the usual material, soft enough for intimate areas." Twilight's book brain finally clicked, she knew what to do now, "Hold up, I'll cast a spell that makes any material softer." she levitated a medium sized parchment and activated the spell. After a brief second, the hard paper material turned into a soft, plushy white strip of normal paper. Twilight knocked on the bathroom door, "I think I got it!" she tried to push the door but it was locked, "Hey, open it." she insisted. Nikolai unbolted the bathroom door and stuck out his hand, "Gimme it!" Twilight gently placed it in Nikolai's palm, he brought it in and bolted the door again. "Why are you locking the door from us?" Twilight asked, "Privacy, geez don't you ponies have common sense?" he snapped, Twilight was rudely insulted by that. "Now listen here mister, that was very rude and you should apolo-" "Mister? How old are you?" "Sixteen, why?" "Buzz of kiddo, I'm twenty six, so you can't command me!" "I'm not a child, I'm a fully grown mare!" Nikolai huffed, he was somewhat enjoying an angry Twilight, he thought it was funny and enjoyable. He began wiping his...(you don't need this) __ He came out of the bathroom, feeling like a new man, he sighed, it felt great. An angry-smoke-puffing-out-of-her-nose Twilight was standing in front of him, her face was red with anger and embarrasment. "Why the shit eating face?" he asked, mocking the unicorn, as those words passed Twilight became redder, like a boiling tomato that was about to explode. (Tomatoes don't boil) Twilight stomped her hoof in frustraition, "Whoa Twi', just calm down alright kid?" that was his mistake. Twilight came down on him, forcing the stalker onto the floorboards. "Never, ever, call me a kid again!" she was practicly pinning him against the floor, Nikolai coughed, then began to giggle. "What's so funny?" He didn't answer, only continuing to giggle, his giggles burst into snorts and laughs. "What's so FUNNY?!" she yelled in his face, "Whew Twi', you've still got a morning breath, or is it always like that?" he continued to mock. Twilight shifted her body an inch. "WHOA! You should really lose some weight, maybe some morning exercises?" he laughed. She slightly bucked his leg, "Hah, you should work on your strenght, I bet even Fluttershy can beat you hah!" he didn't stop, he couldn't stop, it was too hillarious for him, he wanted to continue on mocking the now blushing unicorn. "Why the red cheeks? You don't look cute, you look like the Japaneese version of Ronald McDonald!" he squeezed his eyes tight, letting out a few laughing tears. Twilight loosened her grip, she turned away her head, sobbing quietly. Nikolai noticed that she was sad, being totally offended by his stupidness and ignorence. He couldn't feel anything but guilty, it seems that ponies HAVE feelings after all. Seriously Nikolai, what were you thinking? You bellend. Nikolai frowned, realizing what he just done, he leaned over to Twilight, taking her hoof in his hand. "I...I'm s-sorry Twi', I didn't m-mean to offend you, honestly. Please, don't be mad, I take back everything I said to you." He tried to smile, but as the unicorn continued to sob, his attemps failed and ended up in a sad frown. "Twilight please, I can't see you like this, this isn't you, where is the happy bookworm? I apologize a million times about my actions, and...and...you do look cute." Nikolai succeeded in a warm smirk, feeling that the speech conviced Twilight that he was sorry, but she needed something more than comfort. Twilight leaned over and placed her head into Nikolai's shoulders. "Don't even try it Twi'." that was Rainbow Dash. (obviously) Twilight let out a few more sobs before completely stopping, she lifted her head and stared into Nikolai's sky-blue eyes. "N...N-Nicky I...I-I..." Her mind was full of crap. __ For the first time she has met Nikolai, she began developing feelings for him, feelings that couldn't be explained by text or sleech, these feelings HAD to be experienced. But as soon Twilight saw her best friend Dash and her crush Nikolai kiss eachother, her heart was stabbed (not really lol). Immense flow of pain and sadness flowed through her body as the couple were happy together. She has to something. __ "Nicky I..." "Oh heeeeell no!" Dash yelled and pushed Twilight out of Nikolai's grasp. "What did you do that for?!" he was shockes by Dash's actions, "She wanted you for herself! No kidding I've been watching this spazzmic little gremlin since you first kissed me! She had her own intentions, I'm the one you should love, not her!" "G-Girls, I'm going back to my Boutique, so don't mind me." Rarity laughed awkwardly, no one was listening to her, "Riiight." she darted ouf of the library. Nikolai turned to look at the weeping Twilight, then to the jealous cyan pegasus. "Rainbow." Dash turned around, facing Nikolai straight face-to-face, she blinked, waiting. "Some element of loyalty you are." Dash was mentally punched in the jaw, making it hang open. "Go away Dash, we're not going to talk for some time." Rainbow shifted her look to Twilight. "Get out Dash." Twilight mumbled quietly. Dash's eyes watered, a single tear dropped on the woodwork as she left the library. Nikolai sighed as he sat next to Twilight. "She deserved it Nicky," Twilight commented, leaning against Nikolai for comfort, he wrapped his arm around her back, ever so slightly rubbing her neck. "I know, she's greedy and self-centered, I should've seen it coming." Nikolai commented. "Twilight, can I ask you a question?" "Sure," "Since when did you..." "Since I met you." "Me too." They hugged eachother, Luna's moon illuminating them in a white, outlined glow.