//------------------------------// // 1. Post-Job Fair // Story: My Little Ninja // by NoMoreNormalcy //------------------------------// Randy Cunningham, for all intents and purposes, was a professional procrastinator, if one could even be a professional at doing nothing until the very last minute. The tall, lanky teen wore his usual fare: red t-shirt with a white swirl of The Ninja's (his favorite hero even before becoming them, though that's a whole 'nother story) design, blue skinny jeans, full zippered red McKicks, and his dark hoodie which was now tied around his waist due to the intruding heat of summer in Norrisville, Oklahoma. He walked next to his best friend, Howard Weinerman, with he in his blue jean shorts, matching McKicks with his best friend, deep blue squid character t-shirt, and a light blue button-up collared shirt. Together, they could achieve absolutely nothing save for breaking high scores on video games, beating each other in them, or eating massive amounts of junk food. This afternoon they were walking along one of their city's streets to their favorite place, Greg's Gamehole. "Man, why did we have to go to that Job Fair on the last day of school? That's so wonk!" Also complaining about school. What 14-to-15-year-old doesn't complain about school in some manner? Randy looked to his shorter friend, their orange pompadour taking up most of his field of vision as Howard listed off reasons explaining his displeasure. "I mean, we're not old enough to get a job, we get an allowance, and -still don't know how we got that job with McFist- we don't really do well when we work together, especially if I get promoted." "You mean I get an allowance that doesn't get blown the moment they get it and therefore don't get one anymore, and if either of us get promoted." Randy scratched his head, ruffling his somehow-natural dark purple hair. "Though you are right, how did we get hired? Don't they check age and other stuff?" Howard's only response was a shrug. It wasn't long before Howard spoke again. "Besides, you're the Ninja, since when do you need to know what job you're going to have for the rest of your life now? I mean, you probably had it figured out since grade school, or something." "Uh, huh," Randy began to agree before his eyes popped open, pupils dilated in fear, "that is if I had thought about it at all!" Stopping entirely and picking up Howard by his shirt with both hands, the red-head found his vision shaking as Randy wouldn't stop panicking. "Not to mention, if I think about it now because being the ninja isn't forever, won't my mind get wiped because of it?" Howard now found himself looking up at his friend again from the ground as he was unceremoniously dropped. "I'll just have the Ultimate Lesson and I'm not sure how that works?! Howard, what do I do!?" Once again, Howard was hoisted in the air. "I don't know, just tell me and I'll remind you when you are done with the stupid book?" "Howard, one: it's not stupid, and two: you'll just forget," Randy offered, interrupted by a single, if angry, vibration from a book hidden in his jacket behind his back. "Also, the 'Nomicon didn't like that 'stupid' comment." "Oh, sweet cheese, are you translating for it now?" "What? That's ridiculous! I agree, I don't always catch on to what it's teaching me," another buzz, "okay, almost always, but it's not stupid. In fact," Randy folded his arms which was shortly mirrored, "it's kind of bruce." Suddenly unfolding his arms, Howard gasped in exaggerated horror. "You take that back! It's not bruce, it's wonking our style!" "Well, too bad, because 'Nomicon is here to stay!" "Yeah, until you gotta get mind wiped! Which could be any moment because the Sorcerer, oh yeah, he's GONE!" "Not. Helping. Howard," Randy growled through his teeth. "Well, I'd like my best friend back! Wait, what the cheese is that?" Howard pointed to an alleyway not too far from where they were standing and the face of a goat of some sort with a snaggle-tooth fang and one horn being knotted like some sort of antelope's and another being deer antlers. It raised a lion's paw and waved at them before turning and showing a rust-red colored tail with a white tuft of hair that inexplicably became a beckoning hand. The boys looked at each other before crossing the road. "Yeah, no that spells all sorts of trouble." "Yeah, not that dumb. Wait, shouldn't you deal with that, Cunningham?" Howard inquired. "What, why?" "Oh, I don't know, maybe it's probably evil and The Ninja should do something about it," was the smug reply. Grumbling, Randy shoved his bag into Howard's arms and walked to a different nearby alleyway. While there, Randy then fished a black mask with thin red markings on it out of his jacket, grumbling the whole time. "Stupid Howard, for being right. Stupid responsibilities. I just want to hang out some days," He muttered before slipping it on. Gold and red aura of magic surrounded him in the form of glyphs and drawings as though someone took the inspiration of eastern Asia and drew all of it in one picture. At the same time, black ribbons from the mask snaked their way around his torso and limbs, completing The Ninja's outfit. Solid black with a few thin lines of red, a red cloth sash around his waist, and a billowing red scarf around his neck. One pose later, The Ninja slouched over, tugging at his scarf, "Seriously, why is it so hot already?" Complaining completed, he leaped into action, flipping many times unnecessarily from the alley across the street back to the one he saw the strange goat-headed creature- Only to be caught by a catcher's mitt face-first. "Oh, nice job," a strange, masculine voice quipped, "I'd give you a nine for style and seven for the landing, all things considered." After prying his face from the mitt, Randy got a good look at the holder. With the mitt in his right hand -possibly the paw seen earlier- was the goat-headed creature seen in full glory. Upon closer inspection, his eyebrows and beard matched the tuft on the end of his tail and his eyes were red and the irises two different sized with yellow sclerae. His body was furred with a dark-brown fur and his left arm ended in a yellow bird's talon. He had rather small wings for his size, one dark blue and feathered, the other a leathery purple. His right leg was a green lizard's clawed foot and the left one was a fawn-colored cloven hoof. This was perhaps one of the most bizarre creatures he had ever seen, and Randy would admit that he's seen some strange-looking stank'd students. "Okay, what the juice is going on?" "I thought it was obvious," the creature said, "or was it only obvious to me?" He put his talon to his chin and stroked his beard in thought. "Oh well, hold onto your scarf because we're going on a trip to two dimensions!" "Wait, what!?" and before Randy could react, the talon snapped, and both disappeared from this reality that only Randy knew. "Oh, what the cheese am I supposed to do now!" Cried out Howard before he, too, vanished just moments later.