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// Special:  An Open Letter to Princess Celestia 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Celestia, 

I am writing you a letter on behalf of the entire community of Ponyville.  At one time we were a community full of love, harmony and stability.  From the very moment you had Granny Smith's folks clear out part of the forest and start our community, we were happy.  Once we grew larger, many ponies moved here to escape the chaos of the larger cities and even the less than stellar conditions in other small towns.  Everything was perfect down here until you cursed her upon us.

That's right, the day you decided that Twilight would continue her fucking studies down here rather than going back to Canterlot was the day this town went straight to Tartarus.  Ever since Twilight has been here, all she has done is bitch about everything and treat most everypony, save the spa sluts, like shit.  Hell she has even been banned from multiple businesses for treating the employees like shit.  If that right there is not proof that she needs to go, I don't know what is. 

I am going to admit, when I first heard that you had elevated her to being a princess, I was elated.  I was hoping that after she screwed up that spell, then fixed it and got her wings, that she would be going home with you.  The whole town was even planning on throwing a party celebrating her absence but then you decide to be an even bigger bitch than you already are. 

Seriously, why the hell did you make that self-absorbed, bitchy cunt a princess to start with?  You can claim it was she fixed Starswirl's spell but I think I know what the real reason was, it is because you are a troll, a grade A troll.  I think it is a matter of you getting a great amount of joy in seeing her make our lives miserable.  

To make matters worse, at one time we were rated the friendliest community in Equestria and we had tourists coming to visit all year long and of course they spent their hard earned bits here, which led to economic prosperity.  Once she came along though, not only did she treat everypony like shit, she caused most everypony else to treat others like shit and now we are known as the rudest, shittiest community in Equestria.  Now we are lucky to get any tourists at all and that has harmed our economy significantly.  

I, along with the rest of the community, ask that you please make Twilight either return to Canterlot or find some other community to curse her upon.  From what I understand, Appaloosa and Dodge Junction have been wanting somepony who is important to relocate there.  I think either one of those places would be far better for her to live in.  All we want is our harmony back, our laid back atmosphere back and the revenue generated by the tourism we once had back.  

Sincerely, 

Mayor Mare 





To Mayor Mare, 

If you honestly think I give a shit about your miserable, pathetic town going down the toilet you are sadly mistaken.  Yes your town has welcomed me on multiple occasions and has thrown a few festivals for me but that doesn't mean you are suddenly on the top of my priority list.

I sent Twilight down there to study friendship because I figured that would be the best place for her.  Now unfortunately she has only befriended the spa twins but it beats nothing, right?  Also, you should consider your town special.  After all, how many backwater towns can boast that they have their very own princess?  Up until now, the answer to that was none. 

I have a feeling that having a princess living there should bring those tourists back even though she has created more disharmony and bitterness among your citizens than the worst villains of all time could ever dream of.  Maybe now that she has those wings and a fancy title, her attitude will improve, she will behave the way she should have and everypony else down there will stop treating others like shit.  

Long story short:  You are stuck with her whether you like it or not.  Oh and on a side note, when I ascended her, I decided to extend her life expectancy many times over so your town will continue to have some sort of significance for at least 3,000 years and if Twilight behaves, it could eventually be forever. 

Now just be welcoming of your new princess.  I know you may call the shots down there but if you don't quit with your bitching, I may just give her full power over everything down there and you'd be nothing more than a figurehead, got it?

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia