Dear Princess Celestia,
I swear, Spike is not only an idiot but he is also a greedy little bastard. Seriously, he is charging us gems to watch over our pets while you are sending us to some mindless event in the Crystal Empire? We have been talking and for once we all agree on something, we hope Spike chokes on those gems if Opal doesn't kill him first.
Sincerely,
Twilight and Her Acquaintances
P.S. One good thing about going to the Crystal Empire, I'll get to do Cadence! Maybe this won't be such a useless trip after all. - Twilight
Dear Princess Celestia,
I can not believe what a pain in the ass these animals are. They did nothing but cause me and eventually the CMC problems. To make matters worse, they nearly gave us away on an unexpected trip to the Crystal Empire and worst of all, I wound up losing all my gems! I will say this right now, I'm never watching over those pets again.
Fed Up With the Animals,
Spike
Dear Princess Celestia,
A bunny sitting cutie mark, seriously? Spike actually thought I would want that? Now I can see my softy friends wanting one but come on, I would rather get one in demolition or something else more exciting. No way in hell would I want to be PETA girl's live in subordinate nor would I want to have to listen to her moan and squeal when Twilight finally initiates her. Luckily though, we didn't get caught and now my friends and I can go back to being little hellions in our attempt to get our marks.
Sincerely,
Scootaloo
To Twilight and Her Acquaintances,
Wait a minute, you all agreed on something for once? Perhaps there is hope for Twilight after all. Yes I know merely agreeing Spike is a greedy little bastard isn't going to make you all friends but it is a start! Oh and Rarity, don't you worry about Opal killing Spike. If she does, I'll just send another horny little dragon down to Twilight who will want to screw you. I'm not about to let you off the hook that easily.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
To Spike,
Twilight and her acquaintances are right you know, you are a greedy little bastard. Regarding the animals, they weren't being a pain in the ass, they simply got together and decided to troll you. I'm so proud of them, I am hoping that this will teach you a lesson to not try and pawn those you promise to take care of off on somepony else.
What a shame Angel wouldn't have given you all away, seeing their reaction would have been priceless.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
To Scootaloo,
I can understand why you wouldn't want a bunny sitting cutie mark. That would be boring as hell and I am assuming you'd rather be thrown into Tartarus than watch over critters, right? I think that is likely for the best because Twilight seems to have a thing for ponies who have animal talents and I certainly wouldn't want her to try and initiate you once you come of age.
Princess Celestia