Dear Princess Celestia,
I am going to ask you this and only ask you this once, why the hell did you bring Discord to Ponyville? Do you not remember how much he inconvenienced me the last time he caused me problems? Do you not remember how he made PETA girl such a bitch that even I was turned off to her? I get it, you are being your usual trolling bitch self but come on, aren't you afraid he will take control of your precious sun again? This right here is proof that you are just as much of an idiot as these morons down here are.
To make matters worse, you actually believed the mare I hope to initiate one day has the ability to reform him? Good grief, have you been sniffing paint or something? You know as well as I do that the sexiest of my acquaintances could NEVER reform someone like that. He is as big of a troll as you are and now I know why you had us turn him back into stone. It was not because he caused so much chaos, it is because he out-trolled you, he made your antics look like foal's play.
You know how he took Fluttershy's cottage and turned it into a spinning tree? I was initially happy because I thought that I could convince Fluttershy to move in with me, I could initiate her and then have a live-in "friend." Sadly that would not be the case so instead of a bunch of fun, we wound up going to a tea party with a dinner set that had to have been stolen from that buffalo looking thing in "Beauty and the Beast."
I'll admit, Discord does know how to have fun. I don't know why everypony threw such a fit over the apple farm being turned into a lake and then being frozen over. I thought that would cause the Apple Family to move to Appaloosa, shatter this Element shit you made me part of and then I could come home, return to ponies who are my friends and aren't either too unappealing or too stubborn to provide me with the love a friend provides her friends.
Now unfortunately, Fluttershy managed to reform Discord and now it is as though I don't even exist. I approached her about an initiation ceremony and she simply turned her nose up at me, her and Discord began making plans on eating more of my books and creating an army of demon rabbits to protect her cottage from me.
That right there is proof that not only is she a trolling bitch too, but also that she doesn't know what is good for her. Mark my words though, one of these days I will seduce her and she will finally realize what she has been missing since the night after we reformed your sister.
Hoping I Can Initiate Fluttershy Soon,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
Could you please get Twilight to stop harassing me? I am getting sick and tired of her constantly wanting to force me into her bed. I just hope the demon rabbit army Discord's going to create will keep her out of my cottage.
Irritated With Twilight,
Fluttershy
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am so happy that you had Fluttershy, her friends and that bitch Twilight free me from my stone prison. I will keep my word to use magic for good but I am going to do whatever it takes to keep my first friend safe, even if it means trolling Twilight.
Happy to Be Free,
Discord
To My Fluttershy Desiring Student,
Ugh, here we go again, bitch, bitch, bitch. I took Discord to Ponyville for two reasons. One, I think his magic may prove to be valuable some day and I also thought that I would not only troll you, but all of you. Now yes I know that Fluttershy was an odd choice in trying to reform him but I figured that the pony who denies you all the time should be the one to prove you wrong, which she did.
I am happy that not only did she deny you again, but also that her and her new friend are coming up with ways to troll you and keep you out of her coat. Face it Twily, you're going to have to win Fluttershy's heart if you ever want to have that initiation ceremony and I don't see it happening. To be honest, I don't see anypony EVER wanting to be with you. You are a bitch, you are disrespectful, you are ungrateful and you can't live without all that pampering at the spa. Nopony is going to want to hook up with anypony that will be unwilling to commit to one pony.
Knowing You'll Never Get Fluttershy,
Princess Celestia
Dear Fluttershy,
You honestly think I'm going to be able to get Twilight to stop wanting to initiate you? Look, she thinks you're hot and wants more than just the spa twins. I do commend you on constantly turning her down. Keep it up, I love seeing her get agitated like this.
Oh and that demon rabbit army, that is going to be fun to hear Twilight bitch about, assuming they don't kill her.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
To Discord,
When it comes to Twilight, troll away! Perhaps someday we can meet up and come up with a way to make that little cunt's life truly miserable, truly, absolutely miserable!
Hoping We Can Troll Twilight Together,
Princess Celestia