//------------------------------// // I've got a Destination! Hooray for Me! // Story: The Ugly, Bad or Good? A Sload's Tale // by Megalomart13 //------------------------------// I hope you will be kind to this chapter as it’s the final introduction chapter. After this, the story will really start picking up. So, Read and Review. Or I will GET you… did I say that out loud? Chapter 2: I’ve got a Destination! Hooray for Me! Soon after I departed from the meadow I had arrived in, I had found a wide dirt road and decided to follow it. After about two hours, I was exhausted. Utterly… exhausted. Seriously… fat people are not suited for long journeys! …ah well. I stopped after a few more minutes and sat myself down on a patch of grass at the side of the road, trying to ignore the slight shake of the ground as my considerable bulk impacted. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was some kind of universal karma payback for making fun of my sister when she went through her ‘tubby’ phase. I snorted at the memory before simply relaxing and taking in the sight of the forest around me. I had walked what felt like ten miles, although considering my new found weight and slowness I had no doubt it was more like three, four at best. Still, a bit of good news was that after an hour or so of walking, I discovered that if I stepped slightly forward with both of my large legs at the same time, I could push myself even farther forward with my large tail. It felt, and no doubt looked, very much how a slug or worm would propel itself… which made more sense than I was comfortable with in all honesty. But whether I liked it or not, it helped me. I was still no Olympic runner, but I now moved much faster than one foot in front of the other. Yeah, still wasn’t a huge fan of my body at this point. Still, I had to deal with it. I had also learned more about it in the last few hours. First and foremost, my eyesight was a bit weak. I appeared to be slightly nearsighted as everything after a certain point started to become slightly gray and fuzzy. Everything that I could see and that was close to me, I could make out in perfect detail however. And I mean, perfect detail. I mean every groove of bark on a tree and every crack of stone in a rock. More than a little odd, if I'm being honest In exchange for my weak eyesight, my hearing and sense of smell were quite good actually. I was hearing better than I ever had in my life. I heard every little rustle of leaves in the trees, every little flap of wings of the birds, every zephyr of wind. It was incredible… and also incredibly annoying. Seriously, you don't know how refreshing silence is until you can hear everything. Luckily I learned how to tune most of it out after a while. As I said, my sense of smell was excellent as well. I could smell the various scents of the plants around me, though had trouble distinguishing if any smells were animal in origin. In the far distance I could detect the faint smell of fresh water and sand. A large river or lake, most likely. After I had worked out what the smell actually was, I realized it was the direction I had been walking for the last few hours and wondered if I had been subconsciously heading there all along. Sloads were amphibious, from what I remember and have a fondness for the saltwater especially. Letting out a croaking sigh I simply shook my head, I certainly wasn’t getting to an ocean anytime soon. After a few minutes of catching my breath and listening to the birds chirp I looked at the satchel at my side. Nodding to myself, as if coming to some grand decision, I brought out my new reading material. I was still very impressed with it, truth be told. The book was large and the cover was made of smooth brown bark. The pages insides were dry and yellowed with age, although I had a feeling it was quite new. As in created-recently-from-nothing new. I had started the first few pages as I was walking but they were more about the concepts of magic and what it was. Most of it I… skimmed… to be honest… To sum it up, magic was more of a renewing natural resource in this world, like sunlight or electricity, than a grand mystical force of the universe. It hung in the air like fog, invisible to all except those especially attuned with it. Celestia, Luna and Discord came to mind. I had also learned some things that apparently made concepts from the show cannon, in a manner of speaking. Pegasi and Earth Ponies used magic passively, using it for everyday activities. Like Earth Pony’s incredible strength and the Pegasi weather abilities. Unicorns were able to harness magic directly and could use it to it’s full potential with their horns. Changelings were similar, but could only use a few spells to their full potential and were more known for their shape shifting. Ancient griffons were noted for using runes and rituals, while Zebras were more inclined to harness the power of potions and incantation chants. According to the side notes left by Mortis in the book, I apparently fell in the Unicorn category. Hooray! I flipped through the pages, which wasn’t easy with these damn sorry excuses for HANDS… sorry. Eventually I came to the section I was looking forward to. One of the most basic of magics, and one that I saw on the show all the time, levitation. The instructions were surprisingly simple and easy to read compared to the introduction of the book. Apparently all I had to do was think about what I wanted to happen, and will it to be so. The magic took care of the rest. It also apparently became easier, almost second nature, the more one did it. Shrugging, I put the book away. I always learned better by doing. Spying a pointed rock about the size of a fist I nodded with determination. Raising my fleshy balloon of a hand I concentrated slightly, imagining what I wanted to happen. I watched in slight awe as my arm was encased in a sickly green glow, the rock following suit. Loosely picturing what I wanted to happen and with a flick of my arm I watched with pleasant surprise as the rock lifted a few feet into the air, if a bit shakily. I held it there for a few minutes, waving it back and forth, up and down before I felt the ‘grip’ I had on it slipping. I grunted before flinging my arm out as if I were throwing a piece of trash away and watched with a slightly sheepish expression as the rock sped away, embedding itself in a nearby tree trunk with a heavy ‘shinck’. … Note to self: Be CAREFUL with magic... … Hmm… but that still brought up possibilities. I rubbed my flabby chin in thought and picked myself up off the ground. I couldn’t help but wonder… Closing my eyes I concentrated as hard as I could, summoning all the energy I could. I felt the glow encase me and felt myself lift, ever so slightly off the ground. I opened my eyes and looked… I had done it! I was levitating myself! …a whole half-inch off the ground. I growled in my throat. I guess levitating a half-pound rock and a three hundred and fifty pound sload were two different things. After about a thirty seconds I felt my will faltering and I landed back on my feet with a heavy thud. I shook my head before I felt my energy already returning. I let out a grunt. Well… Rome wasn’t built in a day. Still, it was progress. And with my new ‘inching along with my tail trick’, I was making much better time than I originally was on my little trip. Unfortunately my journey wasn’t as peaceful as I would have like it to be. You see, after about thirty minutes into my renewed journey... “Hold there, friend!” A voice cried out, echoing through the trees. I stopped suddenly and looked about before I heard a loud rustle of foliage and a blue blur popped out of the thick brush of the forest. Standing in front of me was an… interesting sight. A pony now stood in my way, with a dark blue coat and a mane and tail that was a light shade of purple. His green eyes were filled with a sense of smugness and his muzzle was shaped into an undeniable smirk. He appeared to be wearing a black belt, as well as brass shoulder armor on his upper front legs. What was that armor called? Spaulders? Pauldrons? Something like that. In either case, clasped to the spaulders was a long blue cloak that completely covered his back and hind legs. I also noticed he smelled like shit… as if he hadn’t bathed in weeks… damn you new sense of smell. What really caught my attention however, was the coil of rope hanging about his waist and the spear held in his right foreleg… somehow… I blinked before asking the question many a fan had asked themselves at some point. “How are you doing that?” I asked, pointing to the spear held in his hoof and leaning leisurely on his shoulder. The pony blinked. “Doing what?” he asked with a tilt of his head. “…nothing.” I responded. I doubted I was going to get an answer. I still don’t understand how they hold anything, and I suspect I never will… At any rate, back to my new friend… This was new. Very new. Besides the royal guards I’ve never seen a pony wear armor or hold a weapon. Which probably meant trouble for me. “Er, anyhow. Greetings my good… thing!” He said ducking his head slightly to try and see under my hood. I lowered my head more in response and he shrugged, apparently ceasing to care. “I’m afraid this is a toll road here, mate. Yes indeedy.” He said with a smug nod. I noticed that he had a light English accent, like that little colt from the Halloween episode. I had no doubt it was called something else in this world though. “Toll road?” I asked with a bit of skepticism. I saw with some satisfaction my voice seemed to unnerve him somewhat, if his faltering smirk was anything to go by. “Er, that’s right, mate.” He said, regaining his composure. “Well… unofficial toll, but still. Anything to keep the roads safe and clear, right?” …really? A bandit? A mugger? I was freakin’ being mugged by a pony?! No. Nuh-Uh. This was not happening. “You are a thief?” I asked, a bit of the exasperated disbelief I felt leaking into my voice. “I prefer the term highwaypony myself, but beggars can’t be choosers. The name’s Sly Charm. Bandit King of the Hightail Woods!” He said, a proud grin nearly splitting his features. “Bandit King?” I asked. This could be a problem… “Well sure! I mean, if you’re the only one of something, you get to be the king of it, right?” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. … or not. “I see… well, if it is all the same to you, I have to leave… much to do.” I said as I began slinking slowly away, trying to move around him. Unfortunately when you’re a three-hundred a fifty pound slug, a small agile pony tends to be faster and he easily moved back in front of me with a quick jump. “Ah, ah, ah! Hold on there, mate! You forget what I tell ya already? This be my road. A toll road. So, if ya can be so kind…” He said, looking at my satchel with a greedy glare. “And if I have no coin for you?” I asked a bit more harshly than I meant. I was not having the greatest day and this pony was beginning to aggravate me. I was surprised when his response was to position his spear directly in front of my gut. “Then you don’t pass, friend.” He said with a smirk. Ok… that was it. That was the point where my patience snapped. That was the straw that broke the slug’s back. No more Mister Nice Worm. Looking back, it probably would have been easier to simply pay the stupid stallion… but I was stressed, so give me some slack. Raising my arm, I wrapped the annoying pony in a sheet of magic, which I was really getting the hang off. He squawked out in surprise as he was lifted up in the air, his spear clattering to the ground. With a casual flick I sent him sailing into the brush of the forest from where he came. Letting out a satisfied grunt I attempted to be on my way, quickly this time, but before I could, I felt a harsh impact in my right side that nearly sent me sprawling to the ground. It felt quite distinctly like a headbutt. Stumbling a bit, and gripping the ground with my tail for support, I saw the pony was back… and more than a little pissed. His face was hardened into a glare and his nostrils were flaring wildly. His legs were spread out and his posture was low to the ground. His stance was decidedly hostile. “Oh ho! We got ourselves a magician, have we? Well let me tell ya something’, mate! I’ve robbed plenty of Unicorns! And they had the bonus of being pretty quick on their hooves!” He said with venom as he launched himself at me again, head lowered for another strike. This blow connected painfully with my chest, but again it wasn’t enough to knock me down. Looks like all this bulk and blubber was good for something after all. I was hard as hell to knock down. I attempted feebly to swat him with my heavy arms while he was close but he easily dodged and sidestepped. The damned equine smirked as he landed several blows with his hooves to my large target of a gut. To be perfectly fair, these ones didn’t really hurt. More like stings than the massive hits of his skull impacts. As the pony kicked off and landed a safe distance away from me, I couldn’t help but wonder one thing. How the hell was this pony so damn fast?! I had never seen Applejack move this fast… dammit me, stop comparing this to the cartoon! But still it was odd. He was leaping to and fro like mad and he took off of the ground like a rocket when he went in for a headbutt. As he hoofed at the ground and lowered his skull for another strike, I noticed the slight flutter of movement under his cloak… wait… could he be? One way to find out… As he kicked off again for another attack I shot my arm out and called forth my magic again. Time seemed to slow down as I watched the green light envelope the small coil of rope he wore and twist it around his torso. With a yelp of discomfort the pony immediately dropped to the ground in a cloud of dust. He grumbled as he picked himself up and looked at his cloak tied about his waist. He let out a thin chuckle as he looked at me. “So, figured out me secret, eh? Not bad, big guy. You got no idea how many folks take me for an Earth Pony.” He said as he untangled himself from the rope and unclasped his cloak from his spaulders, throwing it a few feet away. Two large blue feathered wings popped proudly into few. Just as I thought. Pegasus. He was using his wings to build up speed for his strikes… Clever. “Not that knowing is going to help ya, mate.” He said as he flapped his newly freed wings. He was right, of course… his wings were merely exposed now, not restrained. “We don’t have to fight. Just let me pass.” I said, making sure to put lots of intimidating hissing into the warning. The Pegasus seemed to consider it before shaking his head. “Sorry mate, but ya put me through too much to back out for nothin' now. ‘Sides, this is the most fun I’ve had in ages. Most folk just believe me about the toll or give me the dosh anyway once they see I mean business.” He said with a smirk. With a mighty flap of his wings he launched off the ground and towards me again, impacting with my chest once again. But I was ready this time. Just as he hit me I ignored the pain as much as I could before wrapping my thick arms around him. Judging from his struggling he didn’t expect that. I began squeezing as hard as I could, trapping him in a large bear hug, hoping to tire him out with lack of air. But he had other plans. He began kicking wildly with his front hooves, on of them catching me in the side of the head… and knocking my hood back. He froze instantly as he saw my face and at once looked incredibly ill. His face took a very green color and I could see him fighting back the urge to gag. Then, to my eternal delight, he let out a very girlish scream. Of course I wasn’t as amused then as I am now, looking back on it. So instead let out an aggravated huff and released him… by throwing him a good few feet away. He landed with a grunt as he tumbled in the dirt before picking himself up a bit wobbly as he looked at me with slightly shaking knees. “W-what the T-tartarus are you?!” he screamed as he scrambled to the side, towards his discarded spear… Which I had foolishly thrown him near… D’oh! “That is none of your concern. Now… if you’re done wetting yourself, I’ll be on my way.” I said, attempting to slink away once more, I was starting to get more than a bit tired. “Oh no! This was about the toll. But… something as monstrous as you… I bet there’s a reward out for you!” the Pegasus said as he gained a new look on his face. A look I would come to be very familiar with in the future. The look of a wanna-be hero. “I bet if I take you down… yeah… newspapers, reward, mares… yeah… that could work. Hay, I bet the unicorns in Canterlot would love to study ya, if nothin' else.” He said with a grin. I watched as he picked up his spear and scrapped the ground before flapping his wings and charging at me, any caution abandoned. I thought about simply stopping him with some levitation as I did before. But then I spied the perfect weapon nearby... and got a better idea… Bracing myself, I waited for just the right moment… Once more time seemed to slow to a crawl as the glory-mad Pegasus held his spear steady and rushed me. He came closer… I steadied my nerves. He came closer… I raised my arm. He came closer… He was barely two feet away from me… I was ready. And I… Threw a rock at him. … …what? What? What were you expecting? It was a pretty big rock! …it did the job, so there! Anyway… As soon as he was close to me, I used a bit of hocus pocus to pick up a nearby rock about the size of a large fist and send it flying. The high speed and close distance did what I wanted it to and left the pony stunned long enough for me to simply saunter over and give him a good bash over the head with one my heavy arms. The effects were more than satisfactory. His spear clattered to the ground and he nearly fell over, which I rectified with another bash to the brain. The would-be mugger fell over, stunned, with no more resistance. With a second bout of magic I lifted the spear and snapped it in half. I made sure the ruined weapon was far out of reach before squatting down and placing my pad-like foot firmly over the pony’s throat. After a few moments he regained his senses and desperately tried to pry me off. But his tired form couldn’t shake my heavy limb off his neck while it was keeping him flat on his side. I looked at the struggling form of the pony with a stern glare as he looked up at me with a sheepish grin. “Well… can honestly say I did NOT expect this… er… say… how about we let bygones be bygones, eh mate? I was just kiddin‘ about the vanquishin’ ya and reward thing.” he said good naturedly. I responded by pressing down slightly with my foot. Don’t worry, I took care not to crush him. “Ack! Okay! Okay! Guess not!” He coughed out. “Now, I want information. Kindly tell me exactly where I am. Exactly.” I demanded. “Heh, what’s wrong wormy? Lost?” He said with a snicker. Which earned him another bit of pressure on his throat. “Agh! Okay! Geez… you’re about two days away from the ocean of the Bridle Shores. In the Hightail Woods between the city of Baltimare and the town of Gallopoli, happy?!” He choked out with a bit of venom. “Which settlement is closer to water?” I asked. I had the unquenchable urge to swim… or at least be close to the water… I guess sloads are more amphibious than I thought. “Er… well, both Baltimare and Gallopoli have ports… but we’re closer to Gallopoli. It’s farther to the southwest, about a day away. That way.” He pointed in a direction where the trees began to thin out. “Closer to the water. You really just have to follow the rivers. Now… is that it? Can I go?” “Hmmm…” I hummed to myself. I looked at him with a thoughtful gaze, although to him it probably looked like I was sizing him up for the slaughter. On one hand… if I left him here, he’d probably continue to rob people… er… ponies. On the other hand, I really didn’t care. On yet another hand (shut up)… he might tell others about me… And on a fourth hand (Shush, don't want to hear it.) I remembered I had a sense of direction like a tree. Then I had a thought. “Do you know the way to this ‘Gallopoli’?” I asked as shrewdly as I could. “Well of course, mate!” the pony nearly shouted, his confidence returning. “Why, I can show ya there in no time! Just let me up and I’ll show ya the way, no problem mate!” I scoffed. This pony must really think I’m stupid. I shook my head before spying his discarded cloak and rope not too far away. “I have a better idea, ‘mate’.” I said calmly as I removed my foot and lifted the still struggling Pegasus with a bit of magic. --- After about five minutes, and a LOT of difficulty, I stepped back from the struggling pony and admired my handiwork. Hogtied and wrapped tightly with his own cloak with own his head free, as well as secured and leashed with his own rope, the bandit looked as much a worm as I did. “What the buck! Come on! The hay is this about?” the pony cursed loudly. “Simple, I cannot trust you. And if I leave you here, you will simply keep robbing ponies. So, you will lead me to Gallopoli, and then I shall let you go.” I said as I took hold of the rope. “And how am I to lead ya anywhere like this, ya fat grub?!” the pony hissed, trying to buck and squirm his way out, but doing nothing but tightening the knots and tangles he was already in. “Well… lead is such a strong word… more like give directions as I go.” I responded as I replaced my hood and turned to leave. His eyes widened and I heard him growl. “You wouldn’t d-” he started but was cut off by his own yelp as I started slinking away, dragging him along the ground with me by the rope. “Dammit! I ain’t a dog to be led about on a leash!” He complained. “No, you are not a dog. I can see that.” I responded. “Ya damn right ya bucking worm-looking-” “You are a prisoner. And you shall remain so until I enter the general area of Gallopoli. Lead me there with little hassle, and you shall be rewarded.” I said, lifting my satchel and waving it slightly, making sure he heard the light jingle of coins. That seemed to placate him, as all I could hear was a quiet grumbling as this pony, Sly Charm, accepted his fate. “Now, the first thing we’re going to do is go to whatever camp you have… you do have a camp and supplies, I take it?” I asked. “Yeah, yeah. It’s on the way… just keep walking. And mind the- ow! Rocks!” He shouted as a rather pointy rock apparently scrapped him through the cloak. I sighed to myself as I continued to slink off in the direction my new prisoner had pointed. In all honesty, this probably happened for the best. The thought of food and shelter and a destination had been plaguing me since I arrived in this damn place. At least those were three problems taken care of for now. I just needed to think for now… All was quiet for a few minutes before… “So… why we going to Gallopoli?” I was in no mood for chit-chat, so I remained silent. “Where ya from?” I remained silent. “What the hoof are ya, anyway?” I remained silent. “…do I at least get bathroom breaks?” I let out a croaking sigh. This was going to be a long trip. I could only mumble to myself. “Ah well… Que Sera Sera.” “What does that mean?” “Shut up!” --- Will be explaining sload physiology as I continue the plot. Review or I will make you shop! Peace out. ….hwagagfagtagnagshiagituggipaggnogboglogtogigikat gwafalanxe! …why god, why?!