//------------------------------// // Morning // Story: Tally Marks // by Slateblu1 //------------------------------// I love school. Always have. I like to learn, I love to read, and school has been one of the best places for that. Studying under the princess was amazing; she had so much knowledge to share. I got to learn so much that others could only dream of: history, mathematics, sciences, art. CHS is nothing compared to that. They took me in as a freshman. Fair enough, the portal does weird things to age and time flow. I think it’s something like one year here is two and a half there. But whatever. The problem is I am bored. So, incredibly, mind-numbingly, bored. Celestia was teaching me advanced level calculus before I ran away. Now I sit through pre-calc. I can’t believe the whole english courses. I mean, how can you reach high-school in this world and not know how to write a well developed sentence? All we do every day is writing and reading. What am I supposed to be learning here? Applejack says it’s mandatory, that there was some problem with kids graduating and not being able to read or write. I don’t understand how that’s possible. History is at least a little fun. It’s something I don’t already know at least. And this world’s biology is pretty cool; There is so much the same, but those little differences, since they don’t have magic, are so important. Chem was fun last year, too. Celestia taught me alchemy, so chemistry is at least something new. The best parts are the labs, to be honest. Getting to play around with chemicals is so much fun. But for the most part, it’s boring. Not worth coming to class. I could pass these classes without showing up. Except history of course. If only this world’s history was more interesting, something to keep me engaged. So here I am, getting dressed on another Tuesday morning. The warehouse is busy this time of morning; all the other homeless are getting up too, ready to start their days. They’ve been nice to me. Despite what some may say, they’re good to each other. They took me in, gave me some private space, even a desk and candles for homework. Despite all the anger and rage I held for years, I could never be angry at these people. They’ve been more of a family to me than Celestia or my actual parents ever were. Ugh. Celestia. I was horrible to her. She gave me so much kindness and love, and I just threw it all in her face. I’m not ready to face her. But it will be a long time before I can cross over to Equestria again anyways. So not something to worry about. Twilight though. She’s the other princess I know. She’s gorgeous. Well, over here at least. I don’t think I’ve seen her as a- no wait. I have. Briefly after I stole her crown. Ya, she was damn cute. I wanna snuggle up in her- A sharp pain brings me back to the present. I bite my lip to keep quiet. My shirt pulled across my scabs. I think a few of them got torn off. I lift my shirt and- yep. I’ve got three torn cuts on my stomach. Cuts I made myself. I’ve got nineteen between the bottom of my bra and the top of my jeans. Another twenty-eight on my thighs. I like the pain. At least that’s something I can still feel. I was doing okay; making friends, faking being happy, forcing laughs. Then the stupid battle of the bands. Celestia and her damn “Most exciting event since the fall formal!” Of course she had to bring it up. And then, non-stop, everyone was making snide remarks. Each time they were all “ohh, no offense.” And I’d have to say, “None taken.” That fuckin’ hurt. I thought they were my friends, but there they go, making fun of me. I know friends tease each other, but shouldn’t they know that’s a little too much? I guess I should tell them. Maybe then they’ll shut up about the dance. I feel horrible about all of it. Not just the dance, but everything else I did. Meh. I can’t stay angry. I can’t stay anything anymore. Except pain. That stays. I grab my tights and pull them on, being careful to not tear off any more scabs. The ones one my chest are easier to hide; they won’t bleed through, and I just have to keep my jacket closed. That’s everything I need. Except- There’s my pocket knife. Emerald gave it to me. It’s a pretty red thing. It matches my hair. I’m sure he stole it from somewhere; to be fair, most of the stuff here is stolen. My backpack, these candles. Hell, even most of my clothes were given the five finger discount. I love that phrase. Leave it to humans to come up with such a silly euphemism. The blade is a little dull. It hurts, forcing it to cut me. But it’s a good pain. Not, like, in a sexual way. I’ve heard of that kink. Cutting doesn’t get my heart racing. I mean it does, but not like that. It’s just a reminder that I am alive. It’s hard to remember that sometimes. I’m not going to bring it today. Not enough places to hide it, wouldn’t be a chance to leave any marks at school, and if Luna finds out… Maybe I should tell her. I usually just talk about whatever is on my mind with her. I’m scheduled to meet with her tomorrow, but she’s said I’m welcome any time. Then again, what is she going to say? Stop? I don’t want to. I like the pain. I need it. I won’t talk to her today. Not worth going in over this. I’ll see how I am tomorrow. Maybe I’ll  bring it up then. I sling my bag over my shoulder, flick off my desk lamp. Nice little battery powered thing. Not much light, but enough. I give my room one last look. Four walls, a few feet across each way, a few blankets for sleep, a few crates for a desk. I used to hate this little room. Felt I deserved so much more than this. I quite literally wanted to be a princess. Heh, some of the others here called me princess for a while. I liked it. They don’t anymore; I told them to stop. Now I can’t help but feel like this is exactly what I deserve. I’m a runaway. A drop out. An outcast. I don’t even belong in this reality. Maybe I should talk to Twilight about going home… Another day. Right now, I need to leave for school. Can’t be late.