For lack of a better expression, appearing in public under the influence of divination tea was not Celestia’s cup of tea. Were it not for her duties to the kingdom, she would awaken Luna and recuse herself until the effect wore off. The power of immediate foresight, while strong, can be rather dangerous and…
There’s a spill on the floor, a guard will trip on it as you walk past.
…And it results in a rather boring day. Celestia tried not to look bored and disappointed as Commander Vulpa slipped and fell. On any other day, this would be a time for a snide smile or a chuckle but life is so much less funny when you see everything coming. O petulant world, how dare you rob Celestia of the whimsy!
As she entered the throne room, Celestia took a massive sigh and gave a few orders to Raven. One, two, maybe twenty or more. She lost count but Raven wrote them all down frantically, praising Celestia’s insight on all the matters. Celestia simply sighed and took a seat upon her throne, resting her hoof against her cheek in a statuesque manner.
“…And so, I propose that we introduce a new tax plan that applies to only…” droned on another boring speech from a courtier. Celestia found it hard to imagine that this bland, uninspired idea could get any more boring but here it was in duplicate.
“Excuse me, Dr. Moneybags, but I must stop you there. There is a great number of ponies who are waiting to see me and I believe you might prefer talking with my council…” Celestia was almost begging this to stop, even though she knew…
“I made sure to book a double appointment with your secretary, miss Raven. I shall continue to give my speech.”
Celestia almost slammed her face against the throne, her sheer distaste for this situation driving her rather mad. There was more!? How could there be more!? I should fire Raven for letting this guy have two appointments, she thought. Well, maybe not. Raven’s just doing her job.
After the lengthy speech wrapped up, Celestia had Dr. Moneybags whisked away by a magic broom. She was not sure if foresight had given the idea or if she was just so fed up that it was the only choice. Either way, the line of ponies waiting for an audience found the sight of a wealthy upperclasspony being shunted by a broom to be rather comical.
“Celestia, I beg of yo-“
“I have already instructed the guard to send replacement apple trees to Appleloosa, Braeburn.” Celestia responded, “anything else? No?”
“…No ma’am, thank you ma’am.” Braeburn, confused, ended up bumping into a wall on the way out. What a silly pony, Celestia remarked to herself.
In 5 seconds, Raven will enter through the door. Ah, you are the ruiner of all fun aren’t you little divination. Celestia magically opened the door for her assistant, who seemed shocked at the sudden movement. She’s going to ask you some questions about the Yakyakistan treaties.
“Princess, I wanted to go over…”
“The Yakyakistan treaties, of course. I believe I have a copy right here…” Celestia found it, exactly where the annoying voice said it would be.
“Oh, um, thank you Princess. I should…”
She’s lost her glasses. They’re on the mantlepiece in the library, where she left them.
“They’re on the mantlepiece, Raven.” Celestia said bluntly and emotionless, repeating the voice.
“Huh? Oh, my glasses… Thank you, Princess!” Raven knew Celestia almost as well as any of the other princesses and even she was surprised at this, galloping away to fetch her glasses and read the treaties.
One by one, Celestia found herself answering questions not yet asked and solving problems she did not yet know. Never did she move from her bored, tired position on the throne. Her displeasure was a strange sight among the various Equestrians, who expected to see their beloved princess and emblem of light in her normal smiling form.
She’s going to ask if you’re okay, then she’ll tell you about Whinnyopolis needing a debt extension.
Oh just-
She’s going to ask if you’re okay, then she’ll tell you about royal guard promotions.
Stop-
He’s going to ask if you’re okay, then ask twenty rapid questions about party planning.
Forewarning me!
“Stop telling me everything before it happens!” shouted Celestia in her royal Canterlot voice, echoing throughout the hall. As it echoed, there was silence inside and outside.
Celestia shuffled on her seat, wanting to crawl behind it and hide. She seriously considered cancelling all her plans, taking a sedative, and resuming tomorrow.
“Oh dear,” Celestia whispered under her voice, looking visibly embarrassed.
Cheese Sandwich will look confused and turn the gala into a surprise party.
For MY sake, I thought you had finally shut up.
“Oki doki loki!” shouted Cheese Sandwich, bouncing out the room.
After the travesty of the throne room, Raven quickly ushered Celestia aside and sent Celestia to her lunch with the hippogriff ambassadors. Raven thought she was just hungry and needed a lunch. Celestia found herself greeting quite a few ponies, enjoying a few little benefits of the tea.
“Hello there, Jade Shine,” Celestia said, for the voice in her head told her the pony’s name.
“Princess? You know my name?” came a very confused little mechanic.
“Of course, my little pony, I know all my subject’s names!” Celestia bluffed.
It was not long before Celestia found herself at the restaurant where the ambassadors were. She found them waving to her, beckoning her over for a conversation. The hippogriffs were unique in that they had two ambassadors in Canterlot, one to represent mount Aeris and one to represent Seaquestria.
“Celestia, over here!” cried out ambassador Seaside Serenade.
“You’re a bit early,” ambassador Goldwing added, his voice sounding a little miffed, “I was expecting your duties to last longer.”
“Heh, I seemed to have a little extra help today,” Celestia chuckled, “have you ordered yet?”
“We sure have! I bet you can’t guess what we ordered!”
“Hmm…” Celestia pondered.
They ordered cress sandwiches for a starter, followed by a seaweed platter with an extra helping of Griffon spices. For dessert, Seaside intends to order a cheesecake and Goldwing will order whatever you order.
Why thank you, foresight.
“Hmm… I’m guessing that you started with the cress sandwiches, then you’ll be having a seaweed platter…” Celestia picked up the menu, looking down at what she might like, “and you wanted extra spice to go with it.”
“I…”
“Wow! You’re amazing! How did you guess?”
It wasn’t a guess, it was this voice in my head. Actually, I shouldn’t say that.
“It’s a princess’s duty to know these things, ambassador Seaside.”
For a brief, brief moment, Celestia found herself enjoying the effects of her tea. Every question she was asked, she had plenty of time to think of a response. She even managed to point out when somepony across the road would walk over and ask for a favour, telling said pony that she would be happy to.
I guess it’s not too bad being this omniscient. I’ll still never repeat this again, though.
Dessert is coming and ambassador Goldwing intends on proposing to Seaside.
“Oh, I believe that’s dessert that’s coming. And congratulations on your engagement!” Celestia beamed, giddy at the thought of two friends getting married!
“…Engagement?”
“…”
Oh, for the love of my mother…
“Goldie, what’s she talking about?”
“It was going to be a surprise but apparently not,” Goldwing glared at the princess, who shrunk into her seat, “Seaside Serenade, our time in Canterlot has been amazing. Would you do me the honour of making me the happiest hippogriff in Equestria?”
“Oh Goldie! Of course, of course of course!” Seaside jumped upon her now-fiancé, giving him a hug so tight that Celestia worried she might become the quickest widow in the world.
Well, at least that ended well.