//------------------------------// // Hurricane Fluttershy // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, Oh joy, here we go with your shitty weather once again. In this not so infinite wisdom of yours, you have decided that us ponies, well the lesser pegasi anyway, are going to have to transfer water from our reservoir up to Cloudsdale to provide water for the whole damn nation. Seriously Tia, that little amount of water for the whole damn continent? I could probably just piss on the ground and it would suffice but oh no, thanks to you and Luna, ponies have to go through hell just so it will rain in this country. Now let's not forget that out of all the ponies down here, most of them seemed excited for one, the one I hope to initiate as a friend some day. Seriously though, she honestly thought that faking pony pox would actually get her out of having to help with this worthless endeavor. What a pathetic bitch, she could have at least come up with something more original. Hell, she could have just joined me in the library and everything would have been perfect. I would have won, she would have won, everypony would have won. What a shame she didn't do that, right? As it turns out, Fluttershy can't fly worth shit and when it came to trying to measure her speed, she was just barely able to fly by the anemometer. What a pathetic little bitch, she went home and instead of trying to work up her wing power, she went and cried her eyes out to those stupid animals of hers. I tell you, despite me really hoping to initiate her someday, she is pathetic, truly pathetic. I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Rainbow Crash's crush decided to show up with a jumbo sized anemometer to gauge the speed of the pegasi as they do the water transfer. Ugh, this has to be the stupidest damn thing I have ever taken part of. Now for what is really irritating, while Crash and company were up there trying, and failing, in getting a tornado going, Spitfire just sat there on her dead ass and did nothing. Yep, you heard me right, she is a lazy bitch and did absolutely nothing. Those idiots were sitting there at 795 and all they needed was five more measly points to hit 800 but oh no, that would be asking too much of that showboat. Now you're really not going to believe this, Fluttershy actually got her ass to the reservoir and aided in creating the tornado. So now instead of everypony mocking and laughing at Fluttershy, now all of a sudden they are wanting to lick her pussy clean for her. It must be so nice to have ponies adoring her for a change. What a shame that they don't adore me though, all they ever do is bitch and complain because they envy my superiority. Now do you think I could just come home now? I aided in their stupid winter wrap up, I aided in their stupid Running of the Leaves and now I have aided in their moronic water transfer. I think I have done more than enough to prove that I am worthy of being freed of this Faust-forsaken hellhole. Now I just hope that my study tower is still how I remember it, nice, clean and ready for my old friends to come and give me the love I deserve! Still Wanting to Come Home, Twilight Sparkle Dear Princess Celestia, Did you see what we did? We were able to lift tons of water up to Cloudsdale thanks to my number one flyer, Fluttershy! Now only if she would be Twilight's number one friend, we'd be all set! Sincerely, Rainbow Dash To My Student Who Wants to Come Home, Forget it Twilight, you can't come home. All you ever do is bitch, bitch, bitch. You bitch about the earth ponies, you bitch about the pegasi, you bitch about other unicorns and you constantly bitch about your acquaintances. Sometimes I honestly wish I could just throw you in Tartarus, find some other unicorn to go down there and just leave it at that. The reason I haven't yet is because I'm too nice and caring. I simply couldn't bear tearing you away from the ponies you despise so much nor could I fathom rewarding them by evicting you from their lives. Regarding the water transfer though, it is pretty damn stupid. Yes I know, I know. I know you're probably pissed that we can't do things the normal way and allow the water to evaporate on its own but remember, Luna and I wanted to lower the number of droughts so that is why we put ponies in charge of doing shit like this. Yeah it sucks to be anypony except for myself or my sister but oh well, shit happens. Now I do think that PETA girl really needs to work out those wing muscles and quit being such a whiny little bitch. Seriously, I was watching from up here and good grief, not only is she a chickenshit but she can hardly even fly....oh wait, I suppose I should say she DOESN'T WANT TO TRY. I remember how fast she flew when it was either go into overdrive and catch Crash or Discord's chaos would have been eternal. She just needs a little push and I think perhaps you should have FORCED yourself on her. Maybe a little bit of pleasure would have got her ass in gear and convinced her to fly right. I suppose it is decent that those peons finally got the water up to Cloudsdale but it is certainly nothing to write home about. Perhaps in the future those low lives will be able to do more than just barely get their wing power up to 800. It would make their lives a whole lot easier if they could. Could you do me a favor though and tell those idiots who got the feather flu to suck it up? Hey, I still have to raise the sun when I'm sick so the same should apply to them and lifting water up to Cloudsdale. Now look, I know you are envious of Fluttershy because all of a sudden everypony is now wanting to give her oral and make her one happy mare. Look at it this way though, at least you have the spa twins down there to cater to your every need. It could be worse, much worse! In an ideal situation even they wouldn't find you worthy of affection but hey, some ponies have horrendously low standards and in the case of them, NO STANDARDS at all. Knowing They Could Have Done Better, Princess Celestia Dear Crash, Don't tell me you actually think Fluttershy is your number one flyer. She was just barely able to get that jumbo anemometer above 800 so no, she isn't your best flyer. And for right now, don't count on her becoming Twilight's number one sex toy, I mean friend. She is too damn concerned with those stupid animals and not nearly enough with my bitchy student's needs. Could you PLEASE tell her to just let Twilight initiate her so she'll shut up. It would greatly be appreciated. Sincerely, Princess "Twilight's Owner" Celestia