//------------------------------// // Chapter 28 // Story: Ponystuck // by confoundtheseponies //------------------------------// ***ACT 3 ACT 2*** "And you're certain that they'll do what we want them to?" Silver Edge asked Mild, as the winged unicorn returned to the Land of Pillars and Doors. "I'm not entirely certain," Mild admitted. He had left the battle on LOWAF when Luna and her reinforcements had arrived. He had been hoping to finish off Golden, but regrettably he had only managed to injure Silver Heart and Celestia. "But they probably will, and causality should hopefully do the rest." Silver considered that for a moment, before nodding. "I guess that's acceptable. So..." she gestured to a sleeping Golden Shine who was lying peacefully on the ground next to them. "Should we put him in yet?" Although Golden's dream self still had a calm smile on his face, a worrying amount of blood was exiting him corresponding with the real Golden's injuries. "It couldn't hurt, I guess," Mild said. "Sure, whatever, throw him in." Nodding, Silver lifted up the sleeping unicorn, and threw him in. And that was that. There's no real need to be any more specific about what happened than that, to be perfectly honest. It's not like anyone cares. It's just a thing. A thing that Golden was totally just thrown into. In the same manner that anyone would throw Golden into an object of similar size and shape to the thing in question. "So, what do you want to do now?" Mild asked, after Silver had finished throwing Golden into the thing which will only be referred to as 'the thing which Golden was thrown into'. "Well, there's 12 ponies left in this session," Silver said. "Take your pick." "I feel like a foal in a sweet shop," Mild replied tersely. "A sweet shop that sells incredibly irritating talking sweets filled with blood." *** "Well it's about time," Celestia said grumpily, the pain in her side still fresh from when a stray knife had unexpectedly caught her. "Some of us are in pain over here." She thought for a moment. "Oh, and one of us is actually dying. That's probably more important." "Cute," Comet said, as Applejack rushed past the others to where Golden was lying, already equipping her My Little Trauma Centre. "Is that it, or is there anything else we need to know about?" "I assume you already know about the two complete bastards we've got running around, since they're your responsibility," Celestia said, to which Comet narrowed his eyes slightly. "So no, there isn't really anything else. Thanks, by the way." "Hm? Oh yeah, sure," Comet nodded, as he made his way over to Star Swirl, who was sitting away from the others. "I take it you're AW?" Star Swirl nodded. "Heh, I've been waiting for this." While Comet and Star Swirl spoke, the others were more concerned with Golden. Applejack had been able to stop his bleeding, but he was still far from healthy - to the extent that he had long since stopped offering any sarcastic comments on the situation. "Is there anything else you can do for him?" Silver asked, as Applejack returned her My Little Trauma Centre to her sylladex. The earth pony shook her head. "He'll be fine. He just needs some rest," Applejack assured her. "This gives us all some time to get acquainted. Ah'm Applejack." She extended a hoof towards Silver, who shook it warily. "Well, of course you are," Silver said. "And that's definitely a thing which doesn't need any kind of explanation. It's probably just more weird time shit." "Actually, it's weird space shit," Diamond corrected. Noticing her for the first time, Silver opened her mouth as if to comment on how much she didn't understand anything, only to think better of it and close her mouth again. "Or is it? Basically, we're from different universes. That's why this is so stupid." "Uh." Silver stared blankly at Diamond. "I don't get it." Diamond sighed, raising a hoof to her head. "Don't worry about it, it's not important. The point is that you need help, and we're here to help," Diamond said. "So let's not worry about the fact that we look the same, or that Applejack is one of your cultural heroes, or that Celestia over there is one of ours, and just get on with what we need to do. Does that sound OK?" Silver shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes." "Wait wait wait wait wait!" Celestia cried suddenly, barging in front of Silver. "So, where you're from, I'm a cultural hero!?" "Well, I guess," Diamond said. "You're a princess." Celestia gave her a look which quite plainly indicated that 'princess' wasn't the awe-inspiring title she had been hoping for. Diamond sighed again. "You're in charge of everything and you control the sun." "Awesome," Celestia said, clearly much happier with that role. "Wait, even if I accept that Equestria has a monarchy in your universe for some reason... why is a princess in charge?" There was silence, in which Diamond scratched her head awkwardly while Celestia glared around the group. Eventually Twilight spoke up. "Uh, it's because there are two princesses, you and Luna. You control the sun, and she controls the moon..." Twilight paused as Celestia turned to glare at her, but continued when Celestia nodded thoughtfully. "And, uh... rather than one of you claim the title of 'Queen', you both agreed to remain princesses, I think. To sort of show that you consider both of your opinions to be equal, and that kind of thing... um." She trailed off, and another pause followed, which Celestia eventually broke. "Laaaaaaame," she said, turning to Luna. "Hey Luna, if anything like that ever happens, I'm taking all the power for myself. Just so we're clear." "You do realise that I'm a God, right?" Luna pointed out, to which Celestia looked away sheepishly. "Yeah, that's what I thought." "Well, that's why you two are important where we're from," Summer said. "So why is AJ a cultural hero where you're from?" "Not just her. Twilight Sparkle is as well, along with Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie," Luna recited. "They are the six founders of Equestria. Without them, Equestria, computers, our legal system, healthcare, everything that makes up society... just wouldn't exist." She paused for effect. "Or at least, they made those things happen. Society probably would have happened at some point regardless, but that's not the point." "Blimey," Summer said, a sentiment which most of the other assembled ponies seemed to share. "Not bad, AJ." "Wait a minute," Comet said angrily, as he and Star Swirl returned to the group. "So this session contains ponies of cultural significance for the universe we're from. And Twilight's session consists entirely of ponies that are culturally significant to the universe these guys are from." Summer waited for a few seconds to see if he was going to make his point. "So?" "So," he said slowly, "how come none of us are cultural heroes for anyone?" Summer rolled her eyes. "Because no one cares about you," she stated. "That applies to you too, dumbass," Comet retorted, only to be smacked on the back of the head by Celestia. "Watch your language around a princess," Celestia said smugly, her head still filled with images of the dreadful tyranny she was no doubt wrecking upon this other universe. "And that's another thing," Comet began, at which Summer and Twilight simultaneously lifted their hooves to cover their pained expressions. "I don't give a flying fuck which Celestia is from which universe. But she," he pointed a hoof meaningfully at Celestia. "She is not the same pony as Princess Celestia. I think we're forgetting that fact. So let's just agree that, while there exists an Applejack who created the legal system from the ground up, and while there exists a Celestia who isn't an impatient tyrannical idiot, neither of those ponies have anything to do with our current situation." "I heartily object to that assessment," Celestia announced, before shrugging and leaping away. "But whatever. Let me know when you guys are all done making friends." "Well, anyway," Star Swirl said, aware of the vanishingly small amount of time they had left. "We really do need to get things back on track, while we still have a Skaia to save." "Yeah," Summer agreed, "so how do you want to play this? Do we split up for efficiency, or stay together for safety?" "Staying together would be preferable," Star Swirl admitted. "But that really isn't practical." They had considerably less than a full day left, and none of their denizens had been defeated. More to the point, the frog wasn't finished yet. "OK, three groups, two to go out and defeat the other four denizens, and one to stay here and make the frog." "Ah guess that'll work," Applejack said. "So that'll be three in a group, plus Golden who should probably stay here." Suddenly she and Comet cried out, as Summer grabbed onto one of them and kicked the other a little more viciously than was necessary. "Me and Applejack are in one group," Summer stated, "and Comet is in the other group." "What the hell did you kick me for?" Comet yelled, picking himself up off of the dirt. Star Swirl glanced at Luna quizzically. "Are you sure these guys can actually help?" he asked, to which Luna shrugged. "Probably." *** CrOmes must be observed to be penalized. The inscription on the large entrance to Nyx's palace had once begun 'Crimes', but the original text had been obscured by a small crater. There were many such craters on the surface of the wall, which - curiously enough - seemed to increase in number the longer Summer continued firing at the stone barrier. "Well, that didn't work," Summer announced, having spent the last few minutes shooting at random spots on the door in front of them. "Everypony stand back. I'm going to try intelligence." "You're going to wha-" Luna began, only to stop as Summer sprinted headfirst into the solid stone wall. "Ouch." "Summer," Applejack said, with the tone of someone who had dealt with this kind of thing for several hours, "None of us are questioning your role as the comedian of the group. So stop proving it." "I'm not sure that's what comedian means," Summer replied, rubbing her head painfully. "Doesn't that imply some amount of thought?" "Noted," Applejack said dryly, her words reflecting the net result of spending too much time around Summer and Comet. "Ah apologise for my flagrant misuse of the word 'comedian' as a synonym for 'imbecile'. Now, how are we getting this door open?" "I've got an idea," Luna said. "'Crimes must be observed to be penalized'. This means that if my Voidy thing conceals me, I can break laws." "Uh. Right," Applejack said, a little confused by what Luna was getting at. "How does that help?" "Watch," Luna said, before pausing. "Actually, don't watch, or this won't work." Flexing her wings, Luna beckoned the shadows from all over the planet towards her, coalescing them into a sphere around her. Then she walked up to the wall, and carried on going. While Summer and Applejack watched this with bemused looks on their faces, the wall began sliding downwards with a deafeningly loud creaking sound, until the way into the palace was exposed with a triumphant Luna on the inside. "Huh. What was that all about?" Applejack asked. "I walked through the doorway, and then I unlocked the door," Luna said. "Thus violating the law of causality." "Since when did Void powers let you do that?" Summer asked, finding Luna's last stretch of logic a little too much to swallow. "I don't think they do. This wall must be enchanted or something. It was just a clue for the riddle," Luna said, glancing around the palace as they explored. "Huh. Is it me, or are the riddles in this game getting increasingly abstract?" "Can't say Ah've noticed." *** "This is hardly fair," Comet complained as Luna dropped him, Twilight, and Star Swirl off on the Land of Souls and Spirit. "You guys all got awesome planets." "Why, what were yours like?" Star Swirl asked. Comet shrugged. "Mine was a bunch of temples filled with dead turtles, and Twilight's was a dying world filled with iguanas trapped in a time bubble to delay their inevitable destruction." "Huh." Star Swirl was quiet for a few moments. "Well, variety is the spice of life." "What's your world like?" Twilight asked. The pathway to Silver's denizen was stretched out before them, in all of its aggravatingly drawn out majesty. "Lots of pillars," Star Swirl replied stiffly. "And doors." "Doors? What, there were a load of doors just propped upright in the middle of nowhere?" Comet asked. Star Swirl nodded. "Well, not just the doors. They were on little platforms with raised steps and everything. But they weren't connected to any buildings or anything." "Did you try opening them?" Twilight said thoughtfully. "Well, yeah, that was the first thing I thought about," Star Swirl said. "That maybe they were portals to another location or something. But you could look right through the open door, the other side was exactly what you would expect. Nothing magic about it." "That just seems... redundant," Comet said. "Now I'm convinced that half the planets in this game are made by choosing two nouns at random and arranging lots of them around a sphere." He gestured around them at the surrounding landscape. "This is the cool kind of planet, the kind where you take a concept and expand it to create a whole world." "What would you have wanted your planet to be, then?" Twilight asked Comet. She still found the mechanics of Sburb to be fascinating, although she hadn't had a chance to discuss them up until that point. "If you could choose its name." The Page was silent for a while, in which the group continued their progress towards the palace of Abraxas. "The Land of Knowledge and Helpfulness," Comet eventually replied. "Filled with consorts who are both knowledgeable and helpful, and who will tell me things about the game in a straightforward and linear fashion. I would have liked that." "Oh, where's the fun in that?" Twilight said. "Who doesn't love a good riddle?" "Me." *** "I'm surprised you agreed to let me come with you," Golden remarked to no one in particular. Silver shot him back an odd look. "As opposed to leaving you undefended while you're still vulnerable?" "Hey," Golden protested, "I'm not vulnerable. I'm just a bit fragile at the moment." Silver rolled her eyes, before throwing another frog back to him, which he caught and captchalogued in one smooth motion. "My incredible amphibian catching skills notwithstanding." "Whatever. We'd never hear the end of it if we left you out," Silver said, causing Golden to sigh dramatically. "So anyway, Diamond. You're a Prospit dreamer like me, and..." she gestured for Diamond to continue. "Yeah. I'm a Prospit dreamer, and Silver - Silver Edge that is - is a Derse dreamer. But for a while both of our dream selves were just sharing one body. When one dream self was asleep, it was in charge of the body, and when the other fell asleep they would take over and the first dream self would wake up again," Diamond said, no one but Silver showing any interest whatsoever in her story. "And then I was killed soon after I entered my planet. I'm not really sure what killed me, but someone must have revived my dead body, which resulted in both dream selves becoming fully aware and separate entities. One of whom is a complete bitch." "Which one is that?" Celestia asked, earning glowering looks from both Silver and Diamond. "I know, I know! It was a joke..." "That's hardly fair," Golden said despondently. "If I'd said that I would have been kicked." Silver shook her head and nodded for Diamond to continue. "So yeah, that was all making some amount of sense until I found out about you. But at the same time, we also knew that 'Celestia' and 'Luna' were in your session, and that Luna was under the impression that Fluttershy created Equestria," Diamond said. "At which point it became obvious that you lot are all from a different universe to my lot - similar, containing slightly altered versions of the ponies in my universe, but still very different." "So, does that mean that Silver Edge is my parallel-universe equivalent?" Silver wondered. "Or... are you?" Diamond thought about that for a moment. "Fuck if I know." *** "So, where you're from," Luna asked with interest, willing to try anything in order to break the monotony of the endless waves of enemies that prevented their progress through the palace of Void. "What am 'I' like?" "Oh, Princess Luna's a real nice pony," Applejack said, struggling to focus on what she was saying when she was also fighting off a horde of Void Imps. "Once ya get to know her. Although she does have a bit of a temper..." "And she has to really try in order to speak normally," Summer added. "Or she'll just revert back to speaking in archaic language. Force of habit, I guess." "I... see." Luna was quiet for a while, until the current wave had been defeated. "So, have I done anything particularly important?" Briefly, images of the time when Nightmare Moon had kidnapped Celestia flashed across Applejack's mind, but she decided against telling Luna about her occasionally homicidal tendencies. "Well, you're responsible for the night," Summer said. "Since you control the moon." Wait. What? "Hold on a minute," Luna said, trying to sort things out in her head. "So, where you're from, the sun and the moon don't move by themselves?" "Nope," Applejack confirmed. "It's all done by the princesses." "That's..." Luna was dumbfounded for a few moments. "That doesn't make anything even resembling sense. Maybe I could believe that maybe, I don't know, the planet was tidally locked to its star, and maybe the princesses forced the planet to rotate. That would be fine. But... you're making it sound like the moon and the sun have to take it in turns to be in the sky or something." "Well of course they do," Applejack said. "Otherwise they'd hit each other." "I." Luna made a mental note to never have a conversation about the physics of Applejack's universe ever again. "OK. Sure. Whatever. Let's get moving." *** "Wait a minute," Twilight gasped in horror as they reached the palace of Hope, causing Comet and Star Swirl to glance in her direction with vaguely concerned expressions. "I just realised, you... you're... you're actually Star Swirl the Bearded, aren't you!" Comet stared intently at Star Swirl, then glanced back at Twilight. "I can't imagine what gave you the idea that anyone has ever referred to this guy as 'bearded'." "No," Twilight shook her head, "but he's from a different universe, isn't he? Like Luna and Celestia are counterparts of the princesses, Star Swirl... is the counterpart to Star Swirl the Bearded from our universe!" "I'm... who?" Star Swirl asked, not really understanding what Twilight was on about. "Well, basically, in my universe, you're a famous scholar!" Twilight exclaimed, glad to have finally found perhaps the only pony other than her who wanted to learn about Star Swirl the Bearded. "Wait, not just that, you're the most important conjurer of the pre-classical era! You're the father of the amniomorphic spell! You created hundreds of new spells, you greatly advanced temporal wave theory, and you have a whole wing of the Royal Canterlot Library named after you!" "Uh..." Star Swirl wasn't sure what the correct response to all of that was. It was nice to think that - at least in one universe - he had managed to achieve something resembling his long term goals. On the other hand, that seemed an odd way to be remembered. "One wing, you say? Who are the others named after?" "Oh, well, you've got to share with all the other accumulated heroes and legendary figures of several thousand years," Twilight pointed out. "At least you get an entire wing. Thunder Dust the Mighty only has one of the shelves in the transmutation wing." "Can we stop," Comet interjected, while Star Swirl digested the information. "Can we stop going on about how brilliant each of you are IN A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE? I don't want to hear how Star Swirl's other self has part of a library named after him. Nor do I want to know the details of Twilight's inspired creation of the first ever CPU or whatever it is she did. I want us to go inside this building," he gestured to the palace. "I want us to find the ugly son of a bitch living there," he aimed a hoof at the engraving above the door, which seemed to show a half rooster, half snake denizen. "And I want us to beat the everloving crap out of him. Do either of you have a problem with that?" No one spoke. "In that case, let's go." *** [homelessChicken began pestering mushroomAddict] HC: Hey Ember... MA: oH HI MA: wHATS UP MA: i SEE YOURE STILL ALIVE HC: Just about, yeah! <:D HC: Listen, uh... I'm on LOSAF and... HC: Everypony's dead, Ember. MA: wAIT WHAT HC: Everypony's dead. HC: Everypony's dead, Ember. MA: rAINBOW IS DEAD? HC: She's dead, Ember. MA: yOU MEAN LIKE dead DEAD? HC: Well, no, she still has a dream self actually. HC: But everypony is still pretty damn dead over here. MA: eVEN dESTINY? HC: She's dead too, Ember. MA: wHAT ABOUT rARITY? HC: Everypony is dead, Ember. MA: sO... MA: rARITY AND rAINBOW AND dESTINY... THEYRE ALL... HC: Ember. Everypony is so utterly fucking dead, Ember. MA: ... MA: fUCK HC: Exactly. That is the only correct response to this, because the fact remains. HC: That everypony. HC: Is dead. MA: wHICH ASSHOLE DID THAT HC: As far as I can tell? Mild. MA: dAMN HC: Anyway. Enough of this nonsense. HC: Rainbow should be waking up soon. First, come and pick me up from LOSAF, and then you should go and get her. HC: I'm not sure when it happened, but I have the strangest feeling that the shit is now officially real, so we should probably be sticking together. HC: Safety in numbers and all that. MA: yEAH ok HC: I'll see you in a bit, then. <:D [homelessChicken ceased pestering mushroomAddict] *** "Ow..." Rainbow Dash still hadn't grown used to waking up in severe pain. The total darkness was new, though. Slowly lifting herself up and glancing around, she realised she was in a rather cramped tube, one end of which led out into the alleyways beneath the streets of Derse. Or somewhere else where everything was a dark purple colour, but given the circumstances she suspected that it was probably Derse. What had she been doing? She vaguely recalled being on LOSAF with Destiny and Rarity, and then Mild had... oh right, yeah. Emerging from the pipe where she had been hidden away, Rainbow looked out into the open air. There was no sign of Luna, or Acapella, or indeed anyone. Even having a Silver Edge to battle would have suited her more than this. She shivered. "Oh, you're awake." Almost jumping backwards in surprise, Rainbow spun around to see a rather sleepy Fluttershy waving back at her. "I thought I should come and make sure you were alright when you woke up, but... I'm a bit tired." "Why did you know I was going to wake up?" Rainbow asked, unable to shake the feeling that she had missed quite a lot. "Acapella told me. She flew off to LOSAF after the others left, and revived you..." Fluttershy looked down sadly. "But... Rarity and Destiny, they... they're..." "Oh." Fluttershy didn't need to finish the sentence. "Well... damn." She paused for a few moments while that news sunk in. They were dead. Completely. Destiny... Rainbow hadn't gotten to know Destiny that well. But Rarity. Rarity and Rainbow had had their differences, and had quarrelled on more than one occasion about less than important matters, but now... now Rainbow just felt a little stupid for all of the pointless arguments the two had ever had with each other. Not that she supposed it mattered. Fluttershy, on the other hand... those two had been close. "Are you OK?" "Oh, I'm... I'm fine..." Fluttershy said, in a thoroughly unconvincing voice. "I just need some time, that's all." She was blatantly lying through her teeth, but Rainbow let it go. "Uh... I'm probably going back to LOTAF now, and... I think that all of us should probably go there. Safety in numbers, right?" Rainbow nodded. "I'll go on ahead, and then I'll get Ember to bring you and Acapella over safely." Rainbow nodded. "Sounds good." *** "Well really!" Rarity exclaimed, as she watched Fluttershy go back to sleep, leaving Rainbow by herself. "I don't get so much as a parting word!" "Knock it off," Pinkie moaned. The Bard hadn't been entertaining her most recent visitor for long, but she was already fed up with Rarity's depressing mood. "You and I both know perfectly well that both of them are feeling devastated. They're just putting on brave faces for the other." Rarity was silent for a while. "Yes, I know. I wonder, will they ever be able to talk to me, like this?" "Potentially," Pinkie said. "If Rainbow falls asleep I can probably bring her in here. And... there may be ways for you to present yourself to them. You are a hero of Heart, after all." "I wonder about that," Rarity said. "Since when did 'Heart powers' make me able to split my consciousness in the way you say I can?" "Since 'Light powers' meant control of luck," Pinkie replied. "And since 'Space powers' meant the ability to breed amphibians. It's not necessarily a literal translation. Think of it as equivalent to 'Soul'. So you could be called a Witch of Souls." "And there's another thing," Rarity said. "Since we're on the subject, why am I a Witch!?" Pinkie sighed, having anticipated this complaint. "A Witch isn't necessarily a bad thing. As a Witch, you have unrivalled control over your aspect, and you can use it to benefit the entire group," Pinkie explained. "A Witch of Heart is an interesting combination. I was rather looking forward to seeing what you would have been able to do." "Don't go talking like it's my fault!" Rarity objected. "It's alright for you, Pinkie, you're immortal now. You just have to sit around watching everything until you can fix everything, or whatever it is you're going to do." "I hope I can," Pinkie said simply. "There won't be much room for error. Everything will have to be absolutely perfect." "Given our track record so far, I doubt it'll go so smoothly," Rarity pointed out. Pinkie just shrugged. "Nothing that's happened so far has deviated from the plan. It all had to have happened in the way it did." The scene below them changed, as Rarity was reminded of the death of her dream self. Below them, an unsuspecting Witch was instantly killed with a rocket launcher. "If you hadn't died, the prototyping tower would never have collapsed, and Rainbow's meteor wouldn't have exploded. Then she would have died." "She died anyway," Rarity pointed out. "Yes, but this way she had another body to inhabit. Rainbow has to be alive for what will happen in the future. Now, picking another example..." The scene changed once more, this time showing Mild as an earth pony, surrounded by huge towering steampunk buildings. As Rarity watched, an all too familiar being swept out of the sky and instantly killed him. Discord. "When Discord killed Mild in Comet's session, that was when everything started to go wrong. But if this hadn't happened, Mild wouldn't have attacked our session. Or Celestia's session, for that matter." "And that would have been a bad thing... why?" Rarity asked, completely lost in Pinkie's logic. Pinkie paused before answering, her eyes filled with grief. "Because if our session were to succeed, then everything we have ever known would cease to be." *** "I'm... surprised, to say the least," Discord said, as Mild recounted his victory on LOTAF. "So that's... what, nine ponies you've killed now? And two of those finished them off completely. Compared with my four killed, two permanently... and of course Silver's one killed, and another killed indirectly. Not bad, Mild." Mild gave him an odd look. "Not bad, when I actually have the highest count?" Discord smiled thinly. "You also have the highest count of 'tactical retreats', the highest count of causing another member of the team to flip their respective lids, and the highest count of enemies that you've accidentally allowed to ascend," Discord pointed out. "So that kind of reduces the net amount of good you've done." "What about Silver?" Mild asked meaningfully. "She's retreated from Ember twice now." "That's still less than you," Discord said. "Besides, Ember may be an idiot, but he's not easy to take down. And before you mention the fact that you took out his real self, which was acting through another pony who shot him in the back while he was focused on you. Besides, he's a lot angrier now." "Whatever," Mild said, having grown bored of the argument once it had become clear that he was going to lose. "Do we really need to stick around any longer? Can't we just get going?" "Not yet," Discord said. "I hope I don't need to remind you about the risks involved in our plan. We aren't putting this plan into motion until the events in Celestia's session are good and finished. Otherwise there's no guarantee that any of us, Silver included, will still exist by the end. And that would completely ruin the 'control over reality' buzz." "True enough," Mild conceded. "What do you think we should do in the meantime, then?" "Well, there's 5 ponies left in this session," Discord said. "Take your pick."