//------------------------------// // Hospitalitea // Story: Tea for Tuesday // by Hasty Revision //------------------------------// In the wake of Ponyville's latest disaster it was clear to me that I had to do something to fix the rift between my friends. All the distrust was just awful. Everypony had been right to blame Discord, but they had been so quick to judge without any solid proof. Just because a stopped clock was right twice a day didn't mean it wasn't still broken. They were all my friends, and it hurt to see my friends fighting. Both sides were at fault, but I knew that the only way to bring the girls and Spike around was to work on the other side. Discord's strange plants had been terrifying and nearly overrun Ponyville entirely. And yet, despite him being my friend, he had lied about them having nothing to do with him. He may not have made them sprout when they did, but he did plant them, and did plan for them to do what they did, even if he had meant it to happen a thousand years ago. He also could have fixed it all with his magic, that much was certain. What wasn't certain was why he hadn't. The obvious answer (which my other friends believed) was that he hoped his old plan would work so he could rule Equestria again. But then why did he help point us in the right direction to fix it? Why didn't he try to stop us? With all that was happening he had all sorts of chances, especially when we sent Twilight back. When we weren't together the Elements were useless. He could have easily taken advantage of that. But he didn't. Maybe he really did want to teach Twilight something. Discord liked to play games, and he was the sort of spirit who would teach a lesson in a strange, confusing, even dangerous way. I'm certain he enjoyed the chaos while we tried to fix everything. Using it as a teaching experience might have been a good way to indulge in chaos while still helping fix things in the name of our friendship. It sounded reasonable enough and yet... I couldn't stop thinking about two details. The first was the way he reacted when the others threatened him with the Elements. He actually looked frightened. The Elements were the one thing in all Equestria that could overpower him, and he'd told me more than once how much he hated being turned to stone. The second was when he told us that he'd been responsible all along. He'd only done it after we told him that we didn't have the Elements anymore. He could have stayed silent and we'd have all just kept assuming it was some strange growth of the Everfree Forest. Instead he'd come clean, but only when we couldn't use the Elements against him anymore. This lead me to a very unhappy conclusion. I very, very much didn't want to believe it. It made me feel so awful, but I couldn't ignore it: Discord didn't trust us. He didn't trust me. Discord knew full well that the others couldn't harm him without me. I'd promised never to use my Element against him and I had every intention of keeping that promise. More than that, he was my friend. I felt bad fighting him when he was our enemy, being forced to do it when he was my friend would be heartbreaking. He shouldn't have had to be afraid that we'd use the Elements on him if he told us the truth. He should have been able to trust me and tell me what he'd done. But he didn't. And that had only given my other friends more reason to mistrust him. Instead of a chance to make amends it had become just one more trick. And it was all my fault. I had been meeting with Discord only irregularly since helping him reform. We kept in contact mostly through letters sent back and forth with his magic. As far as I knew I was the only pony who could exchange letters with him that easily. Well, sending them was easy. All I had to do was write his name on it and throw it away somewhere random. Getting them was… just as random. In my breakfast, in a bird's nest, rolled up and stuffed into my bathroom faucet... it seemed like the only place I hadn't found a letter from Discord was the mailbox. I even found one in a tissue after I sneezed. I… don't know how it got there. I really don't. Even as strange as they were, I really did love getting his letters. Sometimes he sent postcards from some stop on his trip around Equestria and beyond. The world had changed so much since he'd been imprisoned, and he did so love seeing new things. The most recent had borne a picture of him wrestling with some enormous, tentacled, deep sea monster poised to swallow him whole. Cheery pink words across the bottom read: “It's probably for the best that you aren't here!” Other times he'd write an old story from his past or describe some strange chaotic feature of his personal realm, something which I hadn't even known he had until then. Or maybe he'd just complain about Celestia and Luna. He might write backwards so that I needed a mirror, or he'd write in rhyme, or in ink that shimmered in all the colors of the rainbow. One time the letter was made out of cut and pasted letters from newspapers and magazines, and was just a “threat” to share his favorite vegetable soup recipe unless I asked him not to. I never would have thought to add a splash of prune juice. My own letters were very… plain. I wrote with a normal pencil on normal paper that didn't fold itself or smell like strawberry punch. I wrote about my quiet life with my animal friends or recent events in Ponyville, or my latest adventure with my other friends. Or I asked him questions. Questions about his life, his wants and needs and hobbies and hopes and anything that might let me understand him a little more. I wanted him to know I found him interesting, and that I wanted to be closer to him. I wanted him to feel wanted. Clearly it hadn't been enough. He still didn't trust me. He didn't feel wanted, and the divide between him and my other friends was only getting worse. I was failing him as a friend. So I invited him over for tea. It felt crazy. As much as I loved tea parties, the idea of inviting him over for one sounded like a joke. Surely he was above that sort of thing? Surely he would laugh at the idea? I'm sure everypony in Ponyville would. Well, maybe not laugh. They'd probably just give me a worried look and whisper about it behind my back. That happens a lot when I talk about Discord. On the other hoof, tea parties were a wonderful way to spend some quality time together. A nice, simple activity that let two ponies relax and talk openly. They were all about sharing, something he really needed to learn about. Sharing tea, sharing treats and, most of all, sharing company. I would try to just talk to him. Get to know him a little more. Let him get to know me a little more. If I could make it a regular event, maybe it would help him feel more comfortable and trust me. I would even let him use his chaos on my house as long as he cleaned up afterward. It was a perfect way to teach him boundaries and respect, and how to be himself without hurting anypony. And besides all that… it would just be nice to have a tea party with a friend. I so rarely had guests. It was hard to invite ponies over, even my closest friends. My home was so... unconventional. I did my best to keep it clean and tidy, but I knew it must still smell a little funny from all the animals I shared it with. Then there were all the animals themselves. I'm very comfortable with just about every kind of animal that lives around Ponyville, but other ponies aren't. They don't like it when squirrels sniff at their plates, or when ferrets run over their tails, or when birds land on their heads. The idea of having somepony over and them being so uncomfortable, but forcing themselves to stay just to be polite even though they're secretly hating every minute of it because it smells funny and there's animals everywhere and I'm terrible at making eye contact and I'm not a very good cook and I probably make my tea too weak and I'm terrible at conversation but I just want some company so badly sometimes that I plan out an entire tea party but give up right before I ask and-- ...Many times I've wished that the dinner party with Discord had gone better. I really think if he hadn't set up that disaster at Sweet Apple Acres it might have ended differently. It would have been so lovely if I could have made that a regular event. I could have had all my friends come over again and again, maybe even once a month! It would have been something to look forward to. Someday, if I could ever bridge the gap between Discord and the others, I think I'd like to try that again. But first, a tea party. I woke up early that day, even for me. Early rising is something I have in common with Applejack, especially in summer. A lot of my little friends need looking after in the morning. A few who come to me from the vet need medicine, others just need feeding. Angel Bunny gets cranky if I'm late with his breakfast, and sometimes he takes it out on the other animals if I'm too slow. It was mid-morning by the time I'd taken care of them all. Then I had to warn them that Discord was coming. They… took it well, I think. It was hard to tell. They all ran away too quickly for me to ask. I had everything set up with a few minutes to spare, so I just settled into my chair to watch the clock. I suppose it was a little presumptuous of me. He hadn't actually written back to accept my invitation (which I'd sealed up as normal and thrown out my bedroom window), but he hadn't said no either. I hoped so much that he'd come but as the time ticked closer I became more and more worried that he wouldn't. The clock struck the hour and carried on with no sign of him. I closed my eyes and sighed sadly. He could have just been late, but I couldn't help myself from assuming the worst. It really had been a silly idea, hadn't it? Why would Discord want to have a tea party with me? He may have been my friend but so was Rainbow Dash, and it wasn't as if she liked tea parties. I learned that when we were little. I'd have to find some other way to reach out to him. If only I'd realized what a poor friend I was being sooner I could have come up with a better idea. The fur on the back of my neck stood up. I opened my eyes and looked around my living room. Something was off, something I couldn't put my hoof on. I glanced back at the clock and did a double take. It had stopped dead. I frowned and fluttered across the room to take a closer look at it. Nothing about it looked wrong but it had just been working. I tapped the face lightly with the tip of my hoof. A loud tick made me squeak with surprise and drop out of the air. I winced and shakily got back up on my hooves, feeling rather silly. Perhaps a bit of dust had gotten inside the gears and jammed it up. I would have to take it in to get cleaned. At least it was running again, ticking like nothing had happened. Except… ...Clocks normally ran clockwise, didn't they? Before I could consider the backwards turn of the clock further, a shrill whistling started up in my kitchen that was unmistakably my teakettle. There were only two problems with that. First, I'd already taken it off the heat and poured the water into the teapot to steep. Second, my kettle couldn't normally carry a tune. Or harmonize with itself. A tentative smile found its way on my face when the measuring cups joined in on percussion. It was an upbeat, jazzy number that you couldn't really dance to but it made me want to anyway. My wings relaxed and carried me up into the air almost without me thinking about it. “Discord?” A tiny red carpet unfurled from one of the bird houses, trailing all the way down to the floor where it folded back on itself like a ribbon of melted chocolate pouring into a bowl. As it pooled out, spotlights sprouted around the edges which pivoted back and forth as a drumroll began, accompanied by a deep, booming voice. “Introducing the Master of Madness, the Deus of Disharmony! The one. The ONLY. Discord! Lord! Of! CHAOOOOOOOOS!” A brilliant flash of light filled the room, and then he was there, dressed in a tuxedo and waving to a cheering audience that I couldn't see while the music died away. “Thank you, thank you, everypony,” he crowed. “I'd like to thank the academy...” “You came! I was so worried you didn't want to-” He laughed and snapped the tuxedo, carpet and cheers away. “Pardon the delay, my dear. I simply had to make an entrance. Besides, I think you will find that I'm right on time.” I looked back at the clock and saw that it was showing exactly the hour, and had started running forwards again. I would have to check with somepony else to see if it was actually right or not. Maybe Discord had made it just turn back a minute, or made it run fast then fixed it, or maybe he'd rewound time a minute. I didn't know if he could do that but I didn't know that he couldn't. “Is it- I mean, are you actually-?” “Now that would be telling, wouldn't it? You'll just have to wait and see. Now then...” He craned his neck back and forth, a miniature Discord working the levers in the control booth on his shoulder to raise and lower his head on the rope hanging from the end of the arm. “You said something about a party?” “Oh! Um, yes. I thought maybe the two of us could have a tea party?” “Is this a tee time?” His neck reverted to its normal self, though he sported a plaid sweater vest and a round cap with a pompom on top. He'd also conjured a long bag full of metal clubs, one of which he twirled between his talons. “Or perhaps a T time?” The golfers getup was replaced by gold necklaces, bracelets and a broad, dark mohawk between his horn and antler. “Um, actually, it's tea,” I corrected. “For drinking?” I had said it was a tea party in my invitation very clearly. Did he not really read my letters? Did he simply skim them and toss them aside without further thought? Did they bore him? “Ohhh! I see!” He flashed back to his normal self. “I'm sure I can find some way to work with that.” He vanished and reappeared next to me, lion arm draped casually over my withers. “Did you have anything particular in mind?” I shivered a little at the physical contact. Part of me wanted to shrink away like I usually did when anypony touched me. Another part was quietly thrilled. He did it so naturally, as if it were perfectly normal. As if I were normal and we were two friends who trusted and were comfortable with each other. “Well… I thought we could share a pot of tea.” “And?” “Um, and some sandwiches? And, um, maybe we could just… talk for a while?” Discord raised an eyebrow. “So… you want us to sit together, peacefully.” “Um-” “And drink tea.” “Well-” “And have pleasant conversation about our days and whatever trivialities happen to arise.” “I- oh-” “In short...” He vanished and appeared in front of me leaving me both a little relieved and disappointed. The flat look on his face shoved those feelings aside to make room for my stomach to tie itself into knots. “You, Fluttershy, have invited me, Discord, Master of Chaos, over for a completely ordinary tea party. You've done this with utter sincerity in the hopes that we would spend a pleasant afternoon together, enjoying each other's company simply because we're friends?” I sank to the floor and ducked my head low. He didn't like it. He thought it was a stupid idea. I knew it was a stupid idea! I'd let myself get carried away hoping that I could share something I wanted with him and I'd failed. The only thing I could do was be honest and hope he'd forgive me. “Y-yes,” I squeaked. He stared at me for a moment. Then the corners of his mouth twitched. “Hehe... hohohahahHAHAHA!” I stared open mouthed while Discord flopped to the floor and began rolling back and forth, laughing his head off. “Oh-hoho-heehee! That is priceless!” he choked. “Absolutely priceless!” His eagle claw groped around on the carpet for his detached head which was still laughing madly. “D-Discord?” “Dear, dear Fluttershy,” he laughed. “Only you would do something so- so ordinary!” He popped his head back on and picked me up with both paw and claw, holding me out at arms length so we were eye level. “You make friends with me, me! A spirit who can bend reality to his very whim and what do you do? You invite me over for tea and,” he looked over my head, “milk toast!? Hoo-hoo-hoo~! Perfect! Fantastic!” “I-I don't understand!” I had no idea what this meant. He was holding me again but it was much less casual than before. He was laughing but was that good or bad? It sounded happy, but… “Are you-- does that mean you like it?” “Like it? Fluttershy, this is the single most ridiculous thing I've ever seen any sane pony do.” His manic grin softened to something else entirely. This was something warmer, gentler and just a little bit hopeful. I'd only ever seen this sort of smile on his face once before. "I like it better my way. But I suppose, when you're friends, you can't always have things exactly your way all the time, eh?” He'd smiled when he'd said that. Not smugly or cruelly or insanely. It had been warm and hopeful, an offer of peace and friendship. He bent his arms to pull me in just a little closer, almost muzzle to muzzle. My breath caught in my chest. “I would be delighted to have a cup of tea with you.”