Session 79.0 Alex Warlorn
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were back in Sigil, they had technically not broken any laws, or at least any that would warrant them being mazed or flayed by the Lady of Pain... But being responsible for the self-destruction of a faction and disrupting the power balance tended to paint a target on your back. The CMC... they were still party members after all... watched their backs, mostly cause they wanted to see what utterly insane thing they'd do next.
Dinky had run a spelljammer campaign, since it was basically magical pirates in fantasy space, Pipsqueak had supported it instantly, and Silver Spoon had joined in... to call the setting 'weird' was beyond all definition. Though it was the updated setting so it was only the void of space separating different solar system spheres, rather than a magical storm of mist.
Silver Spoon brought her space pirate character with her with Diamond Tiara's aristocrat... Given this was Sigil, it was hardly an eyebrow raising sight seeing a swashbuckler type character walking the streets.
At the Smoldering Corpse Inn, the party paid coin for drinks and to listen to rumors and hearsay.
"I tell ya, the dark of the Illithid and beholder is that they come from the Far Realm! Curse them stupid elves for ever finding it, stupid elves, why are they even allowed to continue to exist?" Said a local Cutter.
Silver Spoon had her character interrupt in dramatic fashion, "And I tell ya all, that all hogwash! The Ilithid, the beholders, they all come from stars beyond yer worlds! Not some goosy, slimely, 'far realm' ruled by evil hands in fancy robes!"
"Wha... how would a primer like you even KNOW something they don't even know the dark about, you're as Clueless as Clueless gets!"
"The prime material plane is as vast and wondrous as as the inner and outer planes... "
"Bah! You haven't seen the scope of the planes, primer," Said the cutter.
"Ah! Ye all be groundlings then!" Silver Spoon said.
"What the Hells be a groundling?" The other locals clearly had never heard of the term either.
"HA! It be what ye all are! Those that have never traveled the ways between worlds! Who have not sailed the sea of stars! Who have not traveled through realm space!"
One thing led to another, and soon, Silver Spoon's character had been challenged to a duel. Silver Spoon, oddly promising she'd only use weapons from the prime material plane... the Cutter had laughed his head off... And had shown up wearing equipment that could block any physical or magical attack... and weapons that could pass through magical and mundane defenses... Silver Spoon didn't look worried.
The cutter had thrown a set of custom ghost-phase daggers at Silver Spoon's character.
"Personal force field." Silver Spoon's character touched a button on her leg, creating a barrier that deflected the weapons.
"WHAT?!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. "You said your character came from Spelljammers!"
"It did... and Dinky included Expedition at Barrier Peaks before expanding the campaign so we didn't have to reset our characters... and since that adventure showed that a civilization with such equipment HAD TO exist... it was just a matter of finding a colony willing to sell... Oh, and I take out my Positron Rifle and vaporize the jerk." Silver Spoon rolled her to hit and damage rolls... "Is that enough?"
"... He is... reduced to ash except for his now smoking boots..." Twilight said strangely mechanically... The CMC began hastily collecting their precious character sheets and silently repenting all the damage their cutie mark quests had inflicted over the year.
Captain Silver Spoon said, "For a city you groundlings claim to be the heart of everything, you sure are behind the times compared to some other worlds out there." Then she said dramatically to the gasping and shocked crowd who had gathered to see the arrogant little primer finally get what was coming to her.
"I've commanded spelljammer ships against Beholder Queen ships and Grell Hive vessels, I've ridden on giant space hamsters, I've fought alongside Giff platoons... And you lot think you understand how creation works better because some of you have visited places we go to anyway when we die?"
A minute later, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara ran out of the crystal friendship castle like Tirek himself was after them (if only they'd be so lucky). The CMC scurried out a minute later in different directions (she couldn't chase after all of them). Flames licked the sides of the doors.
"I don't think Princess Twilight is gonna let us back into Sigil after that..." Silver Spoon said.
"There's still the World Serpent Inn for traveling across planes of existence, lot friendlier management too," Diamond Tiara remarked.
"You don't think Princess Twilight was REALLLY gonna summon the Lady of Pain from the game right?"
"... If we get mazed, at least we we'll know Twilight Sparkle will remember us for eternity..."
"Wanna go see what over powered abomination of a player character we can make with all those splatbooks that your dad bought you?"
"Sounds like fun!"
++++
"Hey Twiley!" Shining Armor said happily. "I heard that one of your players likes Spelljammer! I thought only I remembered that setting! Maybe I could... uh, did Spike get the hiccups or something?" Shining Armor said, seeing the insides of the room looking blackened in spots like a Alicorn with a mane of flames had been in there.
"... It's nothing BBBFF... it's nothing..." Twilight moaned.
Trixie meanwhile said in her wagon, "Trixie has this strange feeling that her reign as Equestria's most effective campaign setting wrecker has been usurped... No. Can't be."
Session 79.1 Alex Warlorn
"Silver Spoon?"
"Yes Diamond Tiara?" Silver answered, in Diamond Tiara's lavish bedroom.
"Weren't you playing a lore master when we first went to Sigil?"
"Yes I was... but you didn't hear Princess Twilight complain when I switch out that character that ruined one of the factions for my Spelljammer characters now did you?"
"Ah, good point!"
Session 79.2 Alex Warlorn
Wallflower Blush's Adventures Role Playing With The Memory Stone
Name of Dungeon Master And Players Has Been Removed To Protect The Guilty
Wallflower said, "I take the left passage."
The Dungeon Master said, "A demon appears."
"But we're only level three."
"Bad dice roll."
ZAP!
"I take the right passage."
"A demon appears."
Later
"An endless horde of goblins burst through the back door, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."
ZAP!
"To be on the safe side we block the back door!"
"An endless horde of goblins burst through the front door, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."
ZAP!
"To be on the safe side we block the back and front door!"
"An endless horde of goblins burst through the front windows, you're hopelessly overwhelmed."
"This place had windows big enough for a horde to get through?"
"Of course it did."
ZAP!
"We block the front door, the back door, and the windows."
"As you're busy blocking all the tiny windows in the lonely inn, goblins explode out of the hidden trap door in the floor, and hopelessly overwhelm you."
ZAP!
"We search for secret passages in the floor!"
"No need to check your roll results, there are no secret passages in the floor."
POW!
"OW! She punched me... gee time flies when you play this game. Well, she'll never find a fair and balanced DM like me."
Session 79.3 Alex Warlorn
"I"m happy that 'lost memory' thing was all just a bad dream," Sunset Shimmer said.
Sunset was rolling nothing but 20s as she rampaged through Sci-Twi's Magical War Mecha campaign.
"So am I," Pinkie Pie said. "Oh and you're in your underwear, and you're taking a test you didn't have a chance to study for?"
"AHHHHHH!" Sunset woke up. "Dangit, for once I wish that was real."
Session 79.4 SomeRandomMinion
The giant blue Diamond Dog produced a pickaxe and slashed at the skyscraper, knocking terrified ponies from windows and making the entire building shake. Glass shattered on several floors, revealing...a bottle of asprin, on the top floor.
Button Mash cheered. "Yes! Health pickup!" He made his canine giant stomp the attacking soldiers, then leap onto the building, ignoring the peppering of spells and bullets 'Ralphie the Mega-Dog' was catching. He climbed for the top, ignoring the tasty treats--namely, terrified ponies--along the way.
"Almost there...health's low, but not for long! Then it's rampage time!"
A zeppelin floated onscreen, and Button's eyes widened. "Nonononono--!"
A volley of rockets slammed into Ralphie, chopping his health down and knocking him off his perch. The fall took out the last sliver of health, and he shrank down to normal size after hitting the ground. 'GAME OVER' danced across the screen as the former giant monster was chased away by outraged soliders.
"Dang it, that zeppilen always gets me..." Button fumed. He'd just used up his last bits, so no continues. "How're you doing, Sweetie Belle?"
The filly's game of 'Monster Bash' was going better. Her zebra-striped dragoness was making quick work (and lunch) of any attackers...including the troublesome zeppelin, with a well-placed fireball.
"Ha! That'll teach you to mess with Zillie, dumb blimp!" A quick tail-slap took down a building and knocked away a tank.
"Woah, you're really goin' at it!" Button said, watching the chaos onscreen. "How'd you get this far without low health?"
"Eating the soldiers, duh," Sweetie answered without looking away from the game. "It's kinda scary, but it gets your health back. And sometimes Zillie looks at her stomach when she does it, like all the soldiers she's eating are making her fat. It's actually pretty funny...ha! There she goes again!"
The dragoness gulped down a poor guardspony, then frowned as she measured her belly. After a shrug, she went back to rampaging. "Heh, did you know this game was devleloped by Giants? I heard Miss Supia and Mister Seismos came up with the idea--get us 'tinies' more comfortable with giants, play the rampaging for a joke or something." With a quick combo, Sweetie made her dragoness leap into the air and belly-flop onto a smaller building, flattening it instantly; Button cheered her on.
"Almost done, Sweetie! But watch out, the boss of this level is a doozy: some crazy giant robot gorilla!"
Sweetie smirked. "Pfft, I can take him. I'm Queen of Manehatten, remember?" She giggled at the memory of the board game she'd dominated.
Button rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Your Majesty. I remember. Huh, I wonder who'd win in a fight, the monsters from here, or Manehatten?"
Sweetie reached the boss, and looked ready to fight a giant monster in real life. "Depends on if we were playing them, I think."
Discord watched the foals' game through binoculars...which were really just his own eyes stretched out.
"Soon, kids. Soon. I always find a way..."
(OOC: Just a little Rampage thing. ;))
Session 79.5 Ardashir
"So, Starlight," Trixie said as she dealt herself another card, "what did that crazy mare Tempest say happened to her and Grubber again? I thought she was off trying to prove to the Storm King's former conquests that he really was gone." She smiled to see three aces in her hooves. "I was surprised to see her and Grubber show up at the front door looking so bedraggled."
"So was I," Starlight frowned at her own cards. "She said that they stumbled across some sort of world gate like the one Twilight and I both used before..."
"Wait, she became human? What happened to Grubber?" Trixie set her cards down and leaned forward, avid. This she had to hear.
"Well, first of all, she says they didn't get transformed. But they did find themselves and the balloon floating over some sort of parade, and they saw ponies being yelled at by some human in a green uniform on this big float, so she decided to help. And it all just snowballed from there..."
***
"And that, your honor. is when this lunatic zapped me with some sort of electric death ray mounted in her forehead and knocked me head over helmet!" The tall and spare human in the green uniform (a Marine Corp DI, all unknown to Tempest and Grubber) pointed his finger at Tempest, who stood beside the defense attorney's table with Grubber. He hid behind her and looked around fearfully. "I was mindin' my own business playing that Duke character and she attacked me. If this'd happened in the Marines, I could at least have grabbed a bayonet or something and defended myself."
"Well, at least the kids didn't have to see Gi Joe versus the Killer Pony," the judge said. He looked to the young blonde human woman beside Tempest. "Miss Sullivan, what does your client have to say?"
"She says she was, ahem," she looked at the papers she held, "'defending her friends from being brutalized by that nasty loudmouth'." She looked up from the papers, "I will remind your honor that it was a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from the Hasbro company, showing off their two biggest franchises, 'G.I. Joe' and 'My Little Pony'..."
"Hey, they didn't even tell us there was gonna be a new character in the show!" One of several men dressed in half-burned pony costumes. "Then when I jump up and yell at Ermey, "Good for you, jackass!' She turned around and blasted us!"
Tempest wheeled on them and they cringed.
"Yelling names like that in public?" Tempest snorted and more lightning played along her broken horn. "You're a disgrace to that cutie mark!"
As the judge tried to bring everything under back control in the riotous courtroom, Grubber looked up at the gigantic and bald bailiff beside him.
"I get the idea we're kinda weird for this place."
"Not really," the genial giant responded. "You want weird, you should see this place on Saturday night."
***
"Tempest says they were about to be jailed for sixty days when the gate magic caught up to them and they were back in Equestria, just a mile from here... Hah!" Trixie slapped her cards down. "See that? Trixie has a winning hoof, five aces --"
"Five aces?!?" Both mares said simultaneously. "How did that happen?"
"Oh, how do you think?" Trixie and Starlight facehoofed as the fifth ace turned back into Discord. He stretched in midair like a rubber band before snapping back into his usual shape. "Do I even need to say I'm the reason for Little Miss Nasty's unexpected trip, too?"
"For pity's sake, why?" Starlight asked while Trixie got the cards back together. "If I and everyone else forgave her..."
"That doesn't mean I did," Discord sniffed. He made a small black crystal statue of himself appear, shuddered and let it vanish. He snapped his claws and a small radio appeared. "Besides, I wanted to give something to my pal Art."
Trixie blinked. "Your pal 'Art'?"
Discord simply turned the radio on. An exasperated sounding voice began speaking. "For the last time, no more people asking me about talking miniature horses that shoot lightning bolts from their foreheads! Coast to Coast AM deals with serious things like UFOs! And I never, ever, want to hear about that gray alien weirdo Discord ever again!"
Discord snapped his fingers and a silvery disc being piloted by a hairy apeman flew around his head before vanishing. "Oh, what would he do without me?"
(OOC: Done in honor of R. Lee Ermey, Harry 'Judge Harold T. Stone' Anderson, and Art Bell. I'll miss all three.)
Session 79.6 Grogar-the-onser
"Again with the leaving!" Grubber said.
"Calm down we still need to supply so it will take at least a month." Tempest said annoyed "It, not my fault people are still paying tributes to an ex-tyrant."
"But-"
"And need i remind you how I learn that little tidbit," Tempest said annoyed.
"Money money money." Grubber said happily as he got mails full of gold "Now I can buy really expensive arcade games and make my room look cool, who knew that so many people believe that Storm King is still alive haha!... Why do I have a feeling I just stupidly blabbed."
He turn to see Tempest with an annoyed look on her face. "ah nuts."
Session 79.7 Jarkes, Grogar-the-Oneser
Sunset, still dealing with her friends suddenly forgetting that she's changed, suddenly found a note in her locker. "'Some weird memory-erasing stone," she read. "'That might be the cause of your current problems. Signed, Deep Star.'"
"Memory-erasing stone?" Sunset pondered to herself. "Sounds like Equestrian magic... Who's this 'Deep Star' though?"
-------------
"I thought you said you were just going to wait and see how things played out," Sunburst asked his friend.
"Honestly, it was too depressing seeing Sunset dealing with all that stuff. Figured I'd give her a little push in the right direction," Starlight replied.
"Okay... So why didn't you tell her who you were in the note?" Sunburst asked.
"Because the informant NEVER gives away her identity," Starlight replied, smiling.
"...Of course," Sunburst said dryly.
(OOC: Since I had the Memory Stone's effects ultimately not work on Human Starlight, I figured she could help things along, but without just skipping ahead to the aftermath).
"HEY!" Both turn to see Vice Principal Luna "Your not from this school are you."
"Err..."
"And let me guess, your part of some weird stuff." Luna said annoyed.
"Err..."
"Well screw you, this school already suffering weird stuff without you added weirdness! I am making a citizen arrest!" Luna shouted.
"...Oh please, like were afraid of some person who couldn't even make principal." Starlight scoffed
"WHY DID YOU PROVOKE HER!" Sunburst yelled as he and Starlight were running for their life as Luna chased them with baseball bats in both hands.
Session 79.8 Ardashir
"Oh, hello, Rarity and -- Rarity?!?" Twilight blinked to see two of the fashion mare standing before her.
"Hello, Twilight, darling!" The two mares said in creepily perfect unison. They smiled and winked. "Try and guess which of us is the real Rarity."
"It's neither of you. I just saw Rarity at her boutique!" Twilight groaned and flung a foreleg over her eyes. "Not this again! Alisa! We talked about this!" Her horn glowed as she cast a spell to detect true forms. The images of Rarity turned translucent, one revealing Alisa's familiar furry form.
"That spell is cheating!" She growled, pinning her ears back. The Diamond Wolf stood up and folded her forelegs. Bristling, she added, "Alisa wants to be knowing why Princess Twilight makes such a nasty spell." She yanked the suit off and dropped back on all fours as Twilight scowled at her.
"I made that 'nasty spell' for just such situations! We don't need any more troublemaking shapeshifters in Ponyville..." Her words stopped dead as she looked at the second 'Rarity'.
"Uh, hi, Twilight," Spike said from inside a Rarity-suit -- no. Not a suit. Twilight stepped closer, casting more divinations as he spoke. "Uh, well Thorax got this idea for how the Changeling hive can make a few bits with this new amulet they came up with." He held up a worked gold amulet in the form of a Changeling stylized face.
"Spike!" Spike/Rarity winced as Twilight yanked the amulet away from him. To her shock, his form didn't change back to a dragon. He stayed a unicorn. She blinked and looked more closely at the amulet in her horn's grip. "Wait, this thing does instantaneous shapeshifting magic? I thought Celestia had the only one, and after that filly stole it from her on her recent visit to Ponyville that she got rid of it."
"That one was made by Chrysalis a long time ago," Spike said, sounding like Rarity. The little dragon's speech patterns and Rarity's melodious voice made for an odd combination. "Thorax and the other Changelings found her old notes and learned how to make a few more. He let me try this one out to see if it worked on non-ponies." Spike walked to a nearby mirror on his hind legs and smiled at the results. "I guess it works pretty well. But I need the amulet back to turn back to my real form."
"Here, Romeo," Twilight held it out to him. "I think one Rarity is enough for Equestria." She was about to say more when a red-and-yellow streak raced into the room. Spike jumped back and yelled as it charged right for Twilight. Twi herself just blinked in shock. "Sunset! What are you doing --"
"Twilight!" Sunset grabbed her by the withers. She looked half crazed, her eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and smelling rank from a lack of bathing. Her mane a mess, she pleaded, "Tell me you know who I am! That we're friends! That..." She looked to the side and froze. Twilight's gaze followed her to see Alisa standing over an emptied-out Rarity suit, as well as a second Rarity standing on her hind legs.
"Uhh, hi Sunset," Spike said. Sunset's eyes grew wider as he tapped his Rarity-form on the chest with one forehoof. "This isn't what it looks like." Beside him, Alisa sniffed, gathered up her pony-suit, and left the room, nose held high.
"Never mind, I'll explain later," Twilight embraced Sunset. She wrinkled up her nose at the reek. "What's happened to you? You sound like you've lost your mind!"
"Memory Stone! Took everyone's memories of me! They all still think I'm a bully and a creep!" Sunset half babbled as she dragged Twilight along towards the door. "I have to check out the old royal library and get some answers before something worse happens. Please, Twilight, help me!" Still racing through her explanation, Sunset and Twilight left the room.
"Twilight! Hey, Twi! Rats!" Spike huffed, hooves on hips, as the two mares vanished in the distance. "Great, now what do I do until she gets back? I have a game with the guys. Nothing else better happen."
"RARITY!" Spike gulped as he turned to see a raggedy-looking Suri standing at the door. She bore a pair of fencing sabers sheathed over her back. She stomped forward, a crazed look in her eyes. "Nopony will hire me because I backstabbed, I mean, was inspired by a 'hero of Equestria'! I've starved from one end of Equestria to the next! I've had enough! I'll slice you to ribbons and then I'll be a big name again, m'kay!" She leaned in to stare eyeball to eyeball with the transformed dragon. "What do you say to that?"
Spike just gulped. "Why doesn't stuff like this ever happen to Shining Armor?"
Session 79.9 Alex Warlorn
"I'm sorry Auntie, but Elements of Harmony must be destroyed, they are simply too powerful to have around. Then we must burn all of Starswirl's book, for they too are obviously too powerful to be allowed to exist." Cadence said as she, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Flurry Heart all forced their way past her.
"You showed us the way Princess, thank you for that valuable lesson." Twilight Sparkle said with a smile. "If something can be misused, it must be obliterated, that is the wisdom you have shown me."
"No! You can't do this! It is madness! Giving the Elements back to the Tree of Harmony to heal it is one thing, but this is insanity! The Elements have PROTECTED Equestria!"
"Yes, and Accord was able to corrupt their purpose, what if that happens again? We can't risk it." Starlight said.
Celestia shouted, "Just because something CAN be abused doesn't mean it has no right to exist! ANYTHING can be misused! It is the user who decides whether it is good or bad!"
"Took you long enough sister," Cadence changed into Princess Luna, and the world around them ground to a halt.
"Really Lulu?" Celestia asked.
"Yes Celly, really. And you are going to write in dream time: 'destroying artifacts is not a solution' one thousand times!" The Elements chamber changed into a school room with an infinitely long blackboard.
"It had dark magic!"
"And just what is WRONG with darkness?" The Princess of the Night asked sternly.
Celestia sighed, picked up the dream chalk, and began to write the message on the black board.
Session 79.10 Alex Warlorn
"Princess Celestia, Queen Chrysalis of the ahem, True Changeling Swarm, has sent you a bill of one million bits, for the destruction of personal property, a royal heirloom, and the destruction of a cultural treasure." Raven informed Princess Celestia. "Oh, and King Thorax is asking WHY you didn't return a precious cultural heirloom to the changelings, or inform them you had it."
"Alright Lulu, you can end the dream now... Lulu?"
"Sorry sister, this isn't a dream."
"Oh," Raven added, "And the Tabloids are running wild with 'Princess Celestia Spies On Subjects."
"I need coffee."
Session 79.10 Zaku789
"To King Thorax, that old relic was a gift from before Chrysalis came to be queen so technically it was not stolen. To Chrysalis, just cause your mother gave me a gift in a attempted peace offering after your first invasion, does not give you any right for me to pay for it. Don't believe me, ask her yourself," Celestia said.
"And the tabloid?"
"I'm not going to bother with the tabloids, I'm dealing with the source that provided the tabloids."
"Which is....?" Both Raven and Luna questioned.
"AHHHHHH!!!" Garble yelled as Celestia chased after him.
Session 79.11 Mtangalion
“What?!” Princess Twilight was so caught off guard that she nearly spilled her coffee, all over her lesson plans no less. “What do you mean, you won’t be able to teach all of this week’s classes?”
Twilight’s closest friends glanced at each other awkwardly. Rarity cleared her throat. “Twilight… you know that we were eager to support you in establishing the new Friendship Gaming Academy, and while it’s true that as the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, each of has unique lessons in friendship to share… How can I put this?”
“What did ya expect?” asked Applejack. “Ah *have* a day job. All of us do.”
“Except for you,” said Rainbow Dash, lounging in midair. “I mean, no offense, but it’s not like princessing has been some huge drag on your time. Not like, say, training to perform in Wonderbolts shows all over Equestria!”
“Hey! I’ve had plenty of things to do,” said Twilight. “Teaching Starlight, getting almost caught up with my reading list, defeating the Sirens… again… But you have a point. Who else can we get to teach, though...”
Button’s mom put her hoof down. “Button Mash! You are not dropping out of grade school to become a professor of game-ology.”
Button grinned slyly. “You know, I could trade in a Discord favor and become an adult right now.”
His mom grinned right back, ominously. “That’s fine, dear... If you want to be the only grown stallion who still has to attend Miss Cheerilee’s class.”
Discord coughed into a fist. “Sooo! Do you want that favor, or…”
“No!” yelped Button. “I mean, on second thought, I’ve reconsidered!” He leaned towards Discord and whispered, “I guess my mom is even scarier than you are.”
Discord tisked. “I’d be offended by that remark, but this is your mother we’re talking about.”
Session 79.12 Alex Warlorn
It was another awesome day in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had finished another session of the awesome new RPG, where she got to behead Zeus and the entire greek pantheon in a chain sword slash attack, and wear their heads as a trophy around her character's belt. Then she blew up space fleets with their six shooters for target practice. And she fought to the bottom level of Tartarus single hoofedly with all eleven power rings (include Inferred and Ultraviolet) and then blew the whole place up with her pet Mecha Dracozilla.
Then in a flash of red light, they appeared. Humanoid suits of black armor covered in spikes, the only thing visible was the glowing red eyes within.
"LEET!" One shouted thrusting his fist up.
"LEET!" The other all shouted in middle class Isle of Pony accents.
Then they began smashing everything in sight. And so began the systematic slaughter of Ponyville. Ponies ran for their lives, but they couldn't run fast enough.
Starlight began fighting one of the monsters, actually pushing it back... then she was cut in half by another of the armors behind her.
"KILL STEAL!" Shouted the first armored figure.
"NOOB! HAHA!"
"Don't worry everypony! As long as we're together we'll pull through eventually!" Princess Twilight Sparkle declared.
A black spiked armored warrior as big as a mountain appeared, and unceremoniously, his red laser vision filled the skies, atomizing all five of Equestria's Alicorns in a moment. Then teleported away again.
"WOW!" said one of the black spiked armored warriors. "It's been hundreds of thousands of years since I've seen the Supreme Dark Commander actually have to take to the battlefield! That was awesome!"
"Do you think if we're lucky in our eyes he'll glance?!"
Soon Equestria was reduced to rubble, and the warriors celebrated.
Which included ... leaping into space, and knocking planets towards the surface, which were then head butted into asteroids.
Arm wresting that cracked the continent in two.
Drinking ale that ate through the planet's mantle when spilled.
And... one dark armored warrior sat on a stole in front of his comrades singing and doing a lute version of 'We All Have Feelings' as the dark armored knights watch in rapt attention, wiping tears from their eyes.
"Hey Gary we missed some!" Waved one of the armored spiked warriors, the pointing at Rainbow Dash.
"No way! Totally cool! I was sure they were extinct!"
Rainbow Dash began wailing on them... they didn't even feeling it.
"Man, this blows, this doesn't feel right at all, I mean, they don't seem to have a power up form, maybe we should just let'em go for a few hundred years, and come back seeking vengeance, ya know? This is just embarrassing."
"HOW'S THIS FOR POWERED UP FORM YOU MONSTERS?!"
Then Rainbow Dash powered up to her Rainbow Power form, and actually knocked Gary over, denting his helmet.
"I take it back, this totally rocks! This is gonna be awesome-possum!" Then Gary powered up with a bright violet aura shining out from him that makes the stars weep. Then Gary struck some poses. "Oh yeah! This is so totally gonna be cool!" The armored warrior blasted Rainbow Dash with TWO fingers (which showed how much they were willing to honor Rainbow Dash by taking her seriously)... her atoms were scattered to the edge of the universe.
Rainbow Dash woke up from her dream with a start... looked at the power fantasy RPG on her desk... and tossed it in the garbage.
++++
"So ye wish us to give dreams to these ponies playing this absurd power fantasy game a taste of what it is like to be on the receiving end of such power fantasies?" Luna raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Shining Armor said, "Remember you owe me for putting me through that dream of being on that post alien invasion Equestria based on one of my table top games."
Luna remembered she had explained to Cadence that that had been to help groom Shining Armor into possibly ascending (even if Destiny had declared Cadence was doomed to outlive her husband, while Twilight Sparkle would not outlive her friends (hopefully that meant they would ascend as well, not that Twilight Sparkle's Alicorn life would be cut extremely short by Alicorn standards).
"Very well Shining Armor."
Session 79.13 Grogar-the-onser
the event of grannie gone wild happen (In this timeline twilight didn't know)
"Have to do training at the wonderbolts..." Twilight growled at Rainbow Dash.
"Now twilight I can explain!" Rainbow dash said.
"You went on a rollercoaster!"
"Yeah but that only do to traditions and what not!" Rainbow dash said.
"You guilt-tripped me by mentioning jobs!" Twilight said.
"I didn't even know the roller-coaster tradition! And before you say 'Do you expect me to believe you of all people don't know every fact about wonderbolt'. Need I remind you I didn't know about the nickname thing either.
"That is true... but Aj why did you accept Rainbow Dash offer!"
"Just cause all y'all can't multi-task doesn't mean I can't." AJ shrugged "Plus Big Mac does the orchard and Applebloom handle the farm duties till I get back from the school, so I don't have it bad as Rarity and Fluttershy."
“Ah *have* a day job. All of us do.” Twilight sarcastically snapped.
"For clarification, Ah just meant that you should have realized most of her friends have busy schedules." Applejack said calmly.
Session 79.14 Alex Warlorn
"THERE'S A SECRET HIDDEN FORBIDDEN SECTION OF THE LIBRARY!?"
"SHHHHHHHH!!!!" Princess Luna said, "Tis 'secret' remember?"
"And that's why we installed the new security system," Princess Celestia said.
"What new security system?" Sunset asked.
"WHO IS READY TO DANCE?!" Shouted the illusionary pony.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me..."
Session 79.15 Alex Warlorn
"I hope they're adding cities in the next update of No Pony's Sky!" Eight Bit said, away from his family and enjoying time with his buddies.
"Actually, I'm not sure that fits the lore," Gizmo said. "The Sentries are programmed to destroy any being who alters the state of the planet they're on. I always figured that was WHY there were no big cities and only small installations and buildings. And that civilization had had to move to space stations and the like just to prosper."
"So like Sapphire Gender, but without everyone going crazy and shooting each other at the end?" Gaffer asked.
"I guess so, pretty much."
"Why did you even WATCH that show?" Shining Armor asked. "Not only was it misequinethropic as Tartarus, but those mecha designs were insane! I mean, a mecha designed for hand to hand combat with the cockpit exposed?!"
"I liked it for the average dude thrown into a truly bonkers situation ... Here's hoping that finally add in real multiplayer."
Gizmo asked, "Why? So you can get shot in the back, have them loot your corpse, and kick you face down into a ditch marooned on an alien planet with no help for light years around? Or you come to a planet and find it's ALREADY been mined out of everything you needed?"
"Stop ruining my unreasonable expectations that the hype machine put in my head to begin with!"
Session 79.16 Mtangalion
Princess Twilight flew among the shelves of her castle library, using her magic to grab the contents of entire shelves and spread them for easy browsing. “It’s kind of nice to be a librarian again, even if it’s just for a little while. Aha!” She selected a particular comic book and flew it down to the front desk, where Gerold waited side by side with Gilda.
Gerold read the enchanted comic’s cover, poking it with a claw suspiciously. “The Legend of Cadence: True Love in Peril? I dunno... sounds sappy!”
“It’s supposed to be a great RPG, and a romantic adventure for couples too,” said Twilight brightly.
Gilda smirked. “Really, Sparkle? Besides one or two dates with that Flash character, what do you know about couples and romance? ‘I read it in a book’ doesn’t count.”
Twilight pouted. “Well, excuuuse me! It’s hard to gather data when couples in love go somewhere else before I can take any research notes. Besides, this comic has some really good reviews, and my brother said it’s one of his personal favorites.”
Gerold looked to Gilda, shrugging. “I guess it can’t hurt to give it a try.” He grinned. “Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll get the highest score!”
Gilda leaned close, jabbing his chest fluff. “Oh, is that so?” Gerold wrapped a wing around her, and she nuzzled him, cooing softly.
Twilight’s face lit up. Ever so quietly, she levitated a parchment and quill out from behind her desk, then looked up to see both griffons giving her withering stares. “Um… why don’t I just show you to the enchanted comic reading room!”
Gilda groaned and stumbled to her feet, shaking off the disorientation of entering the enchanted comic world. “What’s this? Some kind of throne room?” She glanced sharply left and right, already annoyed that Gerold was nowhere in sight. And worse… “Why the squawk am I wearing a dress?!”
“Such insolence!” bellowed the muscular unicorn stallion on the throne. He had a toad-green coat and a bright red beard, and he wore ornate armor with a cape. “Show some respect to your new ruler, Gamble Dwarf!” He paused for a moment of dramatic maniacal laughter. “Soon, my minions will find and destroy Sir Gerold, and then, Princess Grizelda, you and I will be wed!” A claw tapped him on the shoulder. “Eh?”
Gilda decked the would-be tyrant and started wailing on him with her claws.
A short while later, Gilda was locked in the castle tower, poking a bump on her head and wincing. “Ugh, that is so lame when bosses yell ‘Enough!’ and suddenly you’re stunned and can’t do anything. Bucking lazy writers! I totally could have beat Gamble Dork, too!” She cackled and rubbed her claws together. “Oh well, time to start escaping.”
Then a tiny glowing flutterpony popped out of nowhere, leaving trails of sparkly glitter as she flew in loops around Gilda's richly appointed prison. “Hey, look! Listen!”
Gilda frowned. “I don’t know why, but I hate you already. Well, go on, spill the plot so I can get on with it.”
“I’m afraid it won’t be so easy to escape, princess!” said the flutterpony, wringing her little hooves. “Sir Gerold is doing his best to gather all the Triangles of Power so he can rescue you, but he’s going to need your help!” It flew away, looping around a table with a crystal ball. “With this, you can encourage him and give him clues and hints to solve the many perilous dungeons of… Oh my! Princess Grizelda, what are you doing?!”
Gilda swept a golden candlestick and some silverware into a bag, then smashed a clay pot looking for loose change. “Looting the place before I break out, duh! I can’t perch around here waiting to get rescued! What if Gerold thinks I’ve turned into some weak lazy loser, and decides to break up with me?” She clenched a fist, eyes blazing. “I won’t let that happen!”
“But, the dungeons!” wailed the flutterpony. “Without your hints, how will Sir Gerold…” She got buried under Gilda’s dress, which the griffon had just torn off and tossed away.
Gilda laughed. “If he’s the right griff for me, he’ll do fine. We’ll just see who gets more of those magical Triangles first!” She hurled the crystal ball out of the tower, smashing the window, and flew off to adventure.
Session 79.17 Grogar-the-onser
(Set at the end of Surf and or turf.)
"Trixie is impressed by your cruelty and usurping twilight at her games," Trixie said to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
"Okay..." Diamond Tiara stated, Before she could ask why Trixie invited them to Sugarcube Corner, Trixie facial expression turn serious as she stated.
"But Trixie should warn you, Twilight will erupt soon."
"Err... what?" Silver Spoon asked confused.
"She get's so stressed out from being oubliette master, she literally goes all out, making it living heck for the players. Trixie says this cause she experiences one of these eruptions. So unless she finds a new way to get rid of her stress. I suggest you go easy on her in the next game." Trixie said with a shiver, wondering how high in the stress meter Twilight Sparkle was in now.
"Wow that was amazing, one loud screech and it felt like all my stress was gone." Twilight told the crusader as she held onto her trophy while they were riding the train back home.
"... Wait you won that screeching contest thing the hippogriff were talking about, by feeling stressed out?" Scootaloo questioned.
"Pretty much." Twilight said with a shrug.
In Canterlot
"Luna is something wrong?"
"I sense somepony may just have beaten my screaching record."
Session 79.18 Ardashir
"I want you to show me precisely where you found -- that."
Twilight stormed her way down the hallway of the Friendship Palace. Smolder, Gallus, and Ocellus floated behind her, held in her magic grip. Together with them floated their character sheets for the new O&O game, and together with them floated 'that'. A garish magazine displaying a suspiciously familiar looking nightmare with a purple and black coat leering down on hapless ponies under the title Witch-Queen of Le-Mare-ia.
The three students looked at each other haplessly.
"I told ya we were gonna get in trouble," Gallus said. He pointed a talon at Smolder. "Didn't ya remember seeing her buy all those magazines from the Ponyville newsstand and incinerating them with her magic? Yeesh, why did ya have ta ask if we were gonna get ta fight the Diamond Dero Dogs and their tell-whatever rays?"
"Telaug rays," Ocellus corrected him. "That they use to make everyone on the surface into a jerk." Gallus waved his claw in a 'whatever' gesture as she shuddered. "I think I know why Miss Twilight doesn't like them. They kind of remind me of the bad old days with Queen Chrysalis."
"Next time I'm telling Spike he can keep his lousy magazines, no matter how much he brags about them," Smolder folded her arms across her chest. She grinned. "Still, it was a lot of fun to see the Dragon King of the Hollow Earth use the Cosmic Fire to get rid of the Witch-Queen."
"So it was Spike who gave them to you," the three shuddered at the cold fury in their formerly gentle teacher's voice as they entered the library. "I think I may need to speak with him. Spike! Politely and calmly, of course. SPIKE! Like two rational beings capable of calmly discussing why HE IS TRYING TO DESTROY THE MINDS OF MY STUDENTS! SPIIIIKE! GET YOUR SCALY TAIL OUT HERE!" The students shivered as her voice filled the room with echoes.
"Someone mention me?" Spike strolled through the door leading into the room. He noticed the magazine in Twilight's grip and raced over on his short legs to grab it. "Hey, that's where my copy got to! Thanks for giving it back, the newsstand pony sold out so fast and he said I'd have to order them myself from now on -- whoops." He looked up and saw little flickers of flame playing along Twilight's mane and tail as she glared at him. "Wow, look at the time! I have to dust the floors and mop the windows, bye!"
He made it halfway to the doors before Twilight's magic lifted him from the ground and dragged him back to hover before her. The air began to smell of ozone as magic crackled along her horn.
"Now, Twilight," he gulped. "You said I could buy them as long as I kept them out of sight." He shrank down as Twilight loomed over him.
"I found the students reading this and asking me to put 'Dero Dogs' into the game." Twilight said in a dangerously calm voice. "Is that what you call 'out of sight'? I --" As they spoke Twilight kept heading for the section of her library where she kept her Daring Do books. Suddenly she froze. Spike twisted around to see what it was and gasped.
At least half a dozen other issues of the pulp were sitting on the shelf beside her beloved books. More, they were laying atop them, soiling Daring Do by their mere presence.
All unnoticed, Spike slipped free of her grip along with the students. They hurried back out of the imminent blast radius as the horrified mare oh so gingerly pulled the pulps away from her books. Her mouth worked for several moments as she tried to find the words she needed.
"Who," she finally gasped out as she held the, the pulp by one corner like it was diseased. "Who would dare..."
"Oh, so you found them!" Trixie trotted up beside Twilight. Another pile of the pulps floated along with her, held in her magic grip, to be dropped down atop the Daring Do books. "They're my contributor's copies! The Brilliant and Published Trixie has been working on her stories for a while, but they have finally been shared with the world! She knew you would be delighted," Trixie went on grandly, not noticing the mounting fury in Twilight's face. "The editor, Bray Palmer, paid well too. He said he needed somepony to take up the slack since the usual authors Penny Dreadful and Dime Novel seemed to be running out of steam. Who knows? Maybe Trixie will replace those silly Daring Do novels on the shelves..."
"Silly?" Trixie stopped speaking as Twilight stepped towards her. Her coat glowed white-hot, and her mane and tail were ablaze with a unicorn rage shift sch as she only experienced once before. Her voice shocked with emotion as her flaming hooves left little molten pools in the floor. "Daring Do? Silly?"
Spike turned to the students and said just one thing. "Run."
Session 79.19 Alex Warlorn
In the most ruined of all ruined castles, the few changelings still loyal with Chrysalis were disappointed as a cross eyed pony left with that day's mail. (The castle was under the royal protection of the frost giants.)
"You gonna tell Her Majesty that her latest Penny Dreadful science fiction magazine is late?" Ask Locust.
"She's not gonna be happy that she's gonna have to delay her live reading," replied Caterpillar Plague.
"I don't understand why the rest of the hive never liked them."
"That's why Her Majesty made us her elite guard... and we were also her best shape shifters and infiltrators and hardened warriors!"
"Oh why! Oh why!" Locust stood proud and tall. "Why did our brothers and sisters have to abandon mother? Don't they understand the thrill of bullying creatures weaker than yourselves is more filling than any food?"
"How can they forget everything mother taught us? Buncha ingrates!"
There was another knock at the door, the two opened it, and didn't try to hide their disgust at the mutant rainbow serpent perversion that the majority of what had once been their people had become.
"Hello boys, remember me? I'm Sap Sucker, I'm here to win you over from Queen Chrysalis' tyranny, her control, and bad choice in books with the power of friendship!"
Locust and Caterpillar Plague looked at each other, and their perfectly fine blue compound eyes narrowed.
=
Sap Sucker went rolling home... in a giant dung beetle ball... rolling and rolling until he hit the front door of where he started, a sign around his neck reading, 'No Solicitors. Trespassers will be prosecuted.'
Also,
"LOOK OUT! They have their Telaug ray charged! READY ENERGY SHIELDS!" shouted Sap Sucker, crazy eyed, Queen Chrysalis having read one of her favorite issues to her wayward child from over to over.
Lightning Bug puffed out his chest, "Sap Sucker! I will avenge you!" And zoomed off.
=
"THE CENTER OF EQUUS IS HOLLOW! The Tower Heart awaits those who would brave it! But beware the shadow guardian and his claws that catch! Only the brave can climb the steel steps of Bat-Scale!" Rambled Lightning Bug, his eyes not seeing what was in front of him.
Another sign was around his neck,
"Children who have stabbed their mommy in the back are not welcome, unless they came crawling back begging for forgiveness shall mother accept them back into the true hive."
Potato Bug said, "This can not be allowed to continue! She needs to be taught a lesson here and now! Come on troops!"
-
"Never mind, this is the most fun we've had in months, keep sending them," said the sign around Potato Bug's neck.
-
"Children," Chrysalis said, "I've chosen to let go of the past, I've realized I need to make a fresh start, I need to accept that what is lost, cannot be regained. I've made some horrible mistakes in the past, and now it's time to make up for them."
Her heirs and loyalists looked at each other in confusion.
"I'm starting a new hive, this time, my babies will know you don't disobey and you don't question mommy, and that changelings who aren't part of the hive are bad news and that mommy always knows best!" She took out some dating magazines. "Now let's hurry up and find me a stud I can start laying eggs!"
"Why not just kidnap Shining Armor?" Asked Locust. "He's perfect stock. Have you see that demon spawn born from his loins? The new hive would be invincible."
"Don't you think I tried that first?" Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Cadence changed all the combinations on the locks to her bedroom, it's like she doesn't trust me anymore."
Session 79.20 Grogar-the-onser
"AHHH!!!!!" Chrysalis screeched at the sight of all her pulp fiction were torn to shred. "WHO DID THIS!!!"
"What?" Caterpillar Plague said (He was hit with a sleep spell) said getting up from a huge pile of torn paper.
"YOU!!!" Chrysalis screeched as she blasted him through a wall. "GUARDS! PREPARE THE LEECH PIT!"
"What!" Caterpillar Plague shouted as two changelings grabbed him and dragged him away.
"Uggh. I just know this is going to mess up my dating mojo." Chrysalis groaned.
"Wow that's mean!" Pharynx whistled.
"Why did you think I stuck with Yellow Bellied. I use cowardly underhanded methods." Yellow Bellied "Sure it get's annoying they think i'm over-compensating, but let be honest, no one expect something dangeroues from a name like Yellow Bellied."
"True that."
Session 79.21 Ardashir and Mtangalion
Two mares who were obviously not Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash visited Manehattan to force their way into Bray Palmer's office and demanded: "Hey! We're Dime Novel and Penny Dreadful, what's the idea of letting someone else write our stories??"
"You've both been so busy lately..."
"Uh, yeah, we're kinda helping Twi, er, we mean the Princess of Friendship with teaching at her new school."
"And the fans were clamoring for new 'Hollow Earth and the Dero Dogs' stories. Besides, Dime Novel and Penny Dreadful are house names, we can put them on any story we like."
Not Pinkie said, "Maybe we'll take Queen Incendia and the Wrath of the Overdue Library Book Fees to another publisher!"
Bray Palmer said darkly, "Maybe I'll shrink you to teeny tiny size and keep you in this glass jar! ..." Then she smiled. "Hahaha, of course, nothing like that's going to happen. We're both just being silly."
Session 79.22 Alex Warlorn
The blood sucking leeches inched towards Caterpillar Plague.
Then began asking in voice similar to a certain pegasus stallion.
"Can I sleep on your couch?"
"Can I borrow some money?"
"Can I see what's in your fridge?"
"Hey mind if I buy this video off of Pony Flix?"
"AGH! They are truly leeches!" Shouted Caterpillar Plague covering his ears.
++++
'Hmmm.' Pinkie Pie thought having seen the scene with the students, Trixie, and Twilight. 'They want to have our monsters in their role playing huh? I gotta tell Dashie!'
++++
"And here in Manehatten ponies Dragon Town dragons have turned out in record numbers today as the table top role playing game conversion of Penny Dreadful and Dime Novel's action adventures," said the reporter pony, magically transmitting the news to those who could accord it.
In line, two unicorn mares bumped into each one, one with a pink mane and white coat and three suns cutie mark and blue eyes. The other had a dragonfly cutie mark, had a white coat as well, green eyes and a green mane. "OOF!" They gave out as both had been so busy looking to see if anypony was looking at them that they didn't watch where they were going.
"Oh! Sorry!" Said the pink one.
"Watch where you're going you-oh! Yes! Sorry fellow pony! I am Not-Evil Good-Pony!" Said the green one quickly.
"Oh! Yes! And I am, er, Not-Royal Common-Pony!" Answered the pink one.
"Er, niiice to meet you! What a beautiful day isn't it? For ponies, that we obviously are, and including me therefore, for us to be out and about!"
"Yes! Two ordinary ponies who are in no way royalty what so ever!" The two awkwardly grinned at each other.
Not-Royal spotted Twilight Sparkle in the sky, able to hear her grumble to herself, "No way am I allowing this tripe to appear at my table, I'm going to buy every copy and burn them like I do their stupid insult to books!
Not-Royal whistled innocently.
"ACK! The sun is in my eyes! Get away!" No matter what direction Twilight went, when she tried to approach the mass release, she found the sun painfully glaring in her eyes making it impossible to get close. "I'll just teleport!"
'Uh-oh.'
Not-Evil's horn glowed green, and when Twilight teleport, she teleported to the opposite side of the city, and repeatedly this several time. "They have a teleport ward up?! It's getting that you can't teleport anywhere anymore! I'll just call in the guards that were assigned to me and have them buy them on my credit instead!"
"Hold my place pony! - Who I like even though we've just met as is the pony way, and I am asking politely," Shouted, then asked nicely Not-Evil.
"Sure!" Said Not-Royal.
Not-Evil quickly ran into a nearby ally, and whispered into a crystal ball.
"Get Caterpillar Plague out of the leech pit, and follow my instructions exactly!"
A minutes or so later, Not-Evil came back to the line where Not-Royal had kept her place.
"I... what's the word again all us pony obviously know? 'Thu-ank' you!"
"You're welcome!" Not-Royal's satchel began to buzz. "Uh, hold my place."
"Consider it repaying a debt, I mean, of course fellow pony!"
Running to the same alley, with a voice and picture filter in place, Not-Royal got a emergency report.
++++
Twilight Sparkle was startled when a magical projection of Celestia appeared in front of her, her mouth moved all fuzzy.
"Twilight! Chrysalis' changelings have attacked Appleloosa! Only the royal guards under your command are close enough!"
"But I! Yes Celestia, I understand."
+++
"Oh Songbird! You came back to me!" The cowpony stallion cheered. "I knew when I saw you on the big screen you'd come back! Telling you your singing was awful and that you'd never make it in show business and that you should spend the rest of your life waiting on tables was just the motivation you needed right?"
"I can't believe it either." The 'mare' then shape shifted into Locust. "I think I'm actually doing ponykind a favor."
"Be-blab-ick-ta-oop!" The stallion babbled as the love was drained out of him and he fell on the ground twitching.
Locust got a beeping from the crystal ball. "Alright boys, mission accomplished, fall back!"
For some odd reason, the Royal Guards did not pursue. But they did decide that lounging, that is, guarding Appleloosa for a time was in order.
+++
Both obviously perfectly normal unicorn mares made their purchase.
"Nice to meet you Not-Evil Good-Pony!"
"And it was, not-bad, meeting you Not-Royal Common Pony! Have a happy day!"
The two mares split up and ran in opposite directions.
Session 79.23 Alex Warlorn
Sunset remarked to Twilight Sparkle, "I can't believe how hard it was for me to realize the test for getting through was a game of Prance Prance Revolution, I mean, it was so obvious."
"Which is why it makes perfect security for the Hidden Forbidden Library." Princess Celestia said as they stepped inside. "None can pass our inpendratable security."
And found Moon Dancer inside reading, looking like a foal with their hoof in the cookie jar.
"Ye walked into that one sister," Princess Luna said.
"Uh, this isn't the 'you can only enter if you know how to dance' section?" Moon Dancer said innocently.
Session 79.24 Mtangalion
In a cavern deep beneath Icehome, lit only by eerie purple glow gems, Blueblood the unicorn stallion stood within a runed magic circle, feeling oddly exposed without his jacket and tie. “Alisa... I’d like to thank you again for seeing me on such short notice.” He stamped his hooves, trying to keep warm. “After the Bearers all saw me transform, it seemed best to lay low for a time, and being that I was in the neighborhood…”
Alisa gave him a grin with just a hint of fangs, claws clicking lightly on the stone as she padded along just outside the circle. “It’s no trouble. Alisa’s been wanting Blueblood here in her clutches for some while, oh yes.” She lifted a paw and traced magical symbols in the air with the void-flame dancing on her claw tips. “That was joke.” The diamond wolf chuckled. “Mostly.”
Prince Blueblood shivered. “I never thought I’d say this, but could I please be a wolf again soon? I’m not certain you understand how terribly cold is it down here for ponies.”
“In moment,” barked Alisa. “First, show me pony magic.”
Blueblood shrugged… that seemed harmless enough, so he lit his horn, and the heavy stone that Alisa had placed in the circle with him floated into the air, surrounded by his icy-blue aura.
Alisa nodded to herself. “Now become wolf.” She glanced at him sharply. “Don’t break circle!”
Blueblood laughed. “You’re as fussy as my old magic tutor. Very well.” Putting the stone down, he backed into the center of the circle and willed himself to change. His whicker became a snarl as he grew larger, coat fluffing into thick fur, hooves reforming into paws and flat teeth becoming fangs. It was a little disturbing, how natural the wolf body felt now.
Alisa whistled softly, tail wagging. “Now use magic again.”
“Was that a wolf whistle?” quipped Blueblood, in a deeper growl. “Silly me, of course it was.” He had to actually focus and pay attention this time, but he got his claws glowing the same as his horn had, twirling the stone in the air. “So, all done? What’s the verdict?”
Alisa flicked her claws, extinguishing the magic circle. “Blueblood is pony like any pony, and wolf like any diamond wolf,” she said, seeming amused. “Except, wolf Blueblood has pony magical core, he’s casting spells other wolves can’t! Blueblood also having teensy tiny chaos spell on him. Too deep for Alisa to erase or change.”
Blueblood sat his hindquarters down heavily, giving a canine whine. “So you can’t tell me what Discord’s done at all?” His ears drooped. “Whether that blasted collar actually does anything, or if my foals will be like this… or if they’ll be pups instead of foals!?”
Alisa gave him a smug look. “Since when Koschei play fair when he could play tricks instead?”
“That fiend,” grumbled Blueblood. “That utter cad!” Blueblood padded out of the circle, stretching. “You know, is it just me…” He turned and smirked at her. “Or are you in a particularly good mood today?”
Alisa grinned right back. “Princess Twilight’s been big smarty pony, wrote her very own costume detecting spell. Easier for her to trust now. Wolves and ponies being better friends. Maybe wolf pups even go to gaming school.”
Blueblood narrowed his eyes, instantly suspicious. “That doesn’t sound like something you’d be pleased by. Not a tricky wolf like you. You’re already working on some countermeasure, aren’t you?”
Alisa kept wagging her tail.
“Unless…” Blueblood blinked. “Why, you’ve tricked her already, haven’t you? You made a flawed costume and got caught on purpose, so she’d think her spell works!” He barked with laughter. “Oh, that is just diabolical!” He had a sudden, more sober thought. “Why tip me off, though?”
“Blueblood’s wise in ways of Wolf Game. For pony.” Alisa made her way back towards the hidden entrance of her den, pausing to reach up and nuzzle his cheek on the way. “Of course, Blueblood has no proof of anything he just said. He knows value of good trick… and of keeping useful secrets to himself. Or is Alisa wrong about Blueblood?”
Blueblood chuckled, shaking his head, and followed her out.
Session 79.25 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
"Another play? Cool! One from the Dragon Lands? This should be awesome... " Spike read the script. "The glorious day that Dragon Lord Torch banished the deviant separatists from the Dragon Lands ... uh, is this a good time to mention I already invited Mina to the premiere?"
He began looking through the rest of the plays. "Yeesh, this is worse than when Twilight let it get out that we played tabletop RPGs. 'When the Poor Innocent Queen Chrysalis had her beloved children stolen from her and turned into explosions from a paint factory'? 'The Tragic Betrayal of the Hippogriffs by the Pony Tempest Storm'? 'Yaks Smash: the Musical'? Hoo boy...." He looked at one more. "'When Am I Gonna Get Recalled From Puny Pony Land' by Garble?!?"
"Hey, dork, that's not some dumb play." Garble snatched the missive from Spike's claws. "That's my twenty-first letter home asking to get out of here."
Session 79.26 Kendell2
Fizzlepop looked at the one Spike read about the Hippogriffs. "Uh, Spike I wrote that one."
Spike blinked. "You did?"
"...I regretted that when I DID IT, I just convinced myself it would be worth it, it wasn't...so I owned up to it."
"Wow...that's actually pretty mature of you."
"What are you doing, Pinkie Pie?" asked Twilight, trotting over to her.
"Trying to decide with the writer whether or not to start using Power Rangers now that we don't need to do a lawyer friendly cameo..." said Pinkie Pie, staring at the fourth wall.
Twilight blinked. "...Say what?"
"Hasbro bought Power Rangers! We're owned by the same company so we technically don't need to have it be an expy anymore..."
"...I'm going to go pretend I never had this conversation."
"Good call..."
Session 79.27 Mtangalion
Garble barged into Spike’s bedroom without asking and started banging his head on the wall, but Spike had sort of gotten used to that. “I can’t believe she actually did it!” grumbled Garble. “That was so uncool!”
Spike put his Pony Rangers comic down, sighing. “Who did what to who now?”
Garble threw up his claws. “Oh, nothing much! Ember got Twi-nerd to teach her the dragon mail spell, that’s all! It’s bad enough she won’t gimme my hoard back, now she can… HURK!” Garble’s cheeks bulged, and he spat crimson flames, which became a scroll with the seal of the Dragon Lands.
Spike smoothly leaned to one side to dodge the flames, then caught the scroll and began reading the dragon runes aloud. “To Garble… Request denied again. You still suck as an ambassador, so I command you as Dragon Lord to… attend classes at the Friendship Gaming Academy?!”
Garble started banging his head again, chipping the wall crystals. “Spiiiike! This is super lame! How do I get out of this?”
“Looks like it’s gonna be Assistant Professor Spike to you.”
“Not... helping!” shouted Garble through clenched teeth.
Spike scratched his chin scales. “You know, I do have experience with the dragon mail thing, and there’s a couple things you can do. You know, just to remind certain ponies… or dragons… that you aren’t a walking post office box. Like, say… If you ‘accidentally’ mailed a really nasty rotten tomato back to someone…”
Garble blinked. “Wait, so you’ve done that? To Twilight!? Dude! That’s an awesome idea!” He rubbed his paws together, cackling.
“Whoa, whoa!” said Spike. “It has to be ‘by accident’ or you’ll get yelled at. You know, subtle!”
Garble tilted his head to one side. “Why do you keep doing that thing with your claws?”
Spike did a mild double-take. “What, you mean, air quotes?” Garble didn’t look enlightened in the slightest. “I’m wiggling my claws like they’re quotation marks, like when I write down what someone said in Pony… Uh, never mind.”
Garble folded his arms, snorting. “Is this that sarcasm stuff again?”
Spike sighed. “Not exactly. Come on, let’s get you some quartz chips.” Garble looked lost and annoyed again. “For your stomach. It helps with the dragon mail thing.”
Garble put a paw over his belly, which did rumble a bit queasily just then. “Burn subtle. I’m gonna mail Ember all the moss they just dredged out of the school’s lake!”
Spike grinned slyly. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”