//------------------------------// // Alone Again // Story: The Olden World // by Czar_Yoshi //------------------------------// Maple, Starlight and Amber all stood at awkward angles outside Willow's door, trying neither to look at it nor away and all doing their best not to pace. Amber was the most agitated, constantly huffing and muttering under her breath. Maple stared at the ground, and Starlight watched her friends, more concerned for the stress levels of the ponies she could see than the ones she couldn't. "Ugh!" Amber threw back her head and pouted at the sky. "I wish the three of them hadn't wanted to talk alone! I've always been able to be there when you need it, so why not for Willow? At least let me know what's happening...!" Silently, Starlight noted that she hadn't been there for Maple in Ironridge, but thought better of saying it. Maple sighed. "Half of me is glad that this is out of my hooves. I think the only reason I helped her as far as I did was because I was hoping someone else could finish it when I didn't know what to do. The other half says there's three of them, and one has to get the short end of the stick. But no matter who it is, this will still hurt everyone involved..." Amber nodded grimly. "I wonder how Faron feels. Do you think he's pressured, here?" "I don't know how I feel about Sosans," Maple answered, keeping her head down. "Not before I went to Ironridge, and not now. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, of course, but if he had just not left White Chocolate in the first place, they'd still be together! And..." Her voice grew hollow. "He never would have met Willow. That was the push I needed to... to try and start a family of my own. And you saw how that turned out." She clenched her eyes for a second, then restlessly shuffled her legs. "Thinking about it like that, I want to not care how he feels. It still feels wrong, but..." "I get it." Amber nudged her, wearing half a grin. "Maybe it will be alright, though? Willow knows what she's doing. She's always looked out for us, and would let us be up there too if she thought there was anything we could do to help." Maple exhaled, turning straight towards the door. "She's also been through all the hardships we have. At least, enough of them. And we've gotten through everything by sharing our burdens and helping each other. Shouldn't she know that? Why would-?" "Someone's coming," Starlight interrupted, an ear pressed to the wall. Moments later, the door slowly swung open, and Willow stepped out, completely alone. She softly closed it behind her, and Starlight noted well-concealed tearstains on her face. "Willow!" Maple and Amber both rushed to her, pulling up short as if stopped by an invisible wall, awaiting permission to come closer. "How did you...?" Amber's jaw worked. "They're still in there?" Willow touched both of them on the shoulders, pulling them into a reassuring hug. "Faron and White Chocolate are catching up," she murmured. "With my blessing. It was quite emotional, but I think they'll be alright without me for now." Amber's brow scrunched. "Huh?" "Alright without you?" Maple frowned in concern. "Willow..." "Mhmmm." Willow hummed, pulling back and sitting down. "They were both very reticent to see each other again. Both feeling they had done the other a great wrong, with that guilt left to fester instead of tended to. I stayed until they were able to recognize that they were upset with themselves and not each other, and I wasn't needed any more. I sent for a friend to take the foals for the day while we were at the ship, so the house is empty. I think it would be best to let them reconnect on their own for now." "But... Willow..." Amber looked flabbergasted. "You wanted them to...?" "To make up?" Willow stepped off her wooden porch, onto the unfinished streets of Riverfall. Maple followed, wearing a sickly grin. "Willow... You... know that he might...?" "Leave," Willow said. "To be with her. I know." Maple's eyes were watering. "Why?" Willow slowly exhaled. "Many, many reasons, which only grew as we talked together. The simplest is that she needed something good in her life, and I had what she deserved. If you'd like to talk about it..." She glanced up at the multi-story tower she called home. "Could we do it in the privacy of your house?" "Mine?" Maple folded her ears, then smiled. "I... would like to go back. If my pantry's still stocked, I can even get started on dinner. Do you think you'd stay that long?" Starlight glanced up at the treetops. By the light filtering through, it was nearly noon. She could still hear Gerardo's party roaring in the distance, had no idea where Valey or Jamjars were but assumed they were lurking close, and didn't feel like going back to the ship. Shrugging, she stepped over to Maple, signaling her approval of the plan. "I think we have a lot of catching up to do ourselves," Willow said, nodding and starting in the direction of Maple's home. "Shall we?" Amber saluted. "I'm going to drop by a few friends and see if I can get a relief squad together to help care for that boatload of foals. I'll probably still beat you there. Later, Grandma!" With a rush of wind and a streak of yellow, she was gone. Willow pulled her mane out of her eyes with a hoof, straightening and flattening it back to normal, and started walking. With a click, Maple's door unlocked, the dark storefront of her ground-floor bakery greeting her, Willow and Starlight. It hadn't even been left long enough to get dusty, the lights turning blearily on at the flip of a switch like a foal waking from a nap. Maple ran a hoof over the door to her pantry, the nearby display case empty, as Willow started up the stairs to the second floor. Minutes later, Maple hauled a huge pot to the top of the stairs, Starlight doing half of the work with her telekinesis. Maple had to stop, winded, but it seemed like the curse was well and truly wearing off. Eventually, she got it on the stove, and soon after it was bubbling merrily as she dumped ingredients in, added spices, tasted and stirred. Amber returned, disappointed that she had lost the race but assuaged by the smell of Maple's cooking. "Okay," she proclaimed, slapping a hoof across her stomach, "I knew how much I missed this, but I did not know how much I missed this. What's the expected time on that? My nose can't take it much longer." "The longer, the better," Maple hummed, steam rising and hovering along the ceiling as the heated pot warmed the room. "You'll just have to be patient." Starlight watched from the seat at the table nearest the bedroom door. The lights were on, the stove was humming, and the three friends were chatting as if Maple hadn't recently watched her die, or Willow possibly broken her family for the sake of a mare she had only just met. She didn't think she'd have trouble waiting for dinner, but had to agree with Amber that it smelled good. It was almost as if Ironridge had never happened. Some part of her still felt hesitant, like she was watching from the sidelines while the others laughed and had a good time, but really, she knew that no one could ask for more. It didn't last. Eventually, laying on the banister with her legs dangling off both sides, Amber said, "So, Willow. About your family..." She glanced back at the silvery mare in concern. "You're sure you're alright, right? That you're not just here to forget about it for a while? Because we're totally here for you..." The conversation stopped, and then Willow sighed, closing her eyes. "I'm feeling a lot of different things right now, Amber. But I will endure." Maple stopped stirring, pacing over to her and putting a hoof on her slumped shoulder. "Enduring isn't very fun," she murmured. "Speaking from experience." Willow shuddered. "When you had a husband, Maple. What did you expect it would be like?" Maple frowned. "Expect?" "Mmm." "Well..." Maple chewed her lip in thought. "That it would be good? Nice? We'd do things together and raise a family together and..." She sighed. "That's not a fair question. I still can't think properly about that. It just hurt when it was over..." "But that isn't what marriage is about," Willow said, calmly pushing her back down. "Perhaps it should be, and perhaps it is in other parts of the world, but you know what it's really about. Some mares prefer a more stable situation, in which they will always have someone and their foals have the same father. And the practical benefits end there." Even Starlight knew there was something wrong with that, and she wasn't interested that way in ponies. "Isn't there supposed to be love, or something?" she asked, frowning. "Supposed to be, perhaps," Willow answered. "What ponies like me think there should be and wish for. But not what is. Today, I learned more about Faron than in two whole years of wondering if I knew everything about him. I'd met and gotten to know Sosans many times before, when the boats ran. I knew they had hopes and dreams just like us. I believed two ponies could meet and form a relationship of more than convenience. It's a dream I think all of the married mares in Riverfall share, and quite a few of the single ones. But when I reflected on myself, and compared what Faron and I have compared to he and White Chocolate... They truly wanted to know each other. For me, I realized, Faron was more of an ideal or a placeholder for things that I wished had been. I never knew him, and if he knew me... especially this part of me, he didn't say it. He allowed me to pretend I had what I wanted. I suppose I allowed him to pretend I was White Chocolate, though I'm sure he never believed it as much as I believed my side. Seeing that laid bare... stung. It still stings. But in them, I also saw what I had wanted, and what I think you wanted too, Maple. Even if it wasn't for me, I had to nurture it and do what I could to help them. That included helping them make up, and it's why I've stepped away now." "Willow..." Maple's eyes were watering. Amber had fallen off the railing. "But what about you?" Willow beamed back at her, though there was a tension in her smile that even she couldn't hide. "Like I said, I will endure. Besides, after watching Faron come that much more alive when all was said and done..." She closed her eyes. "I don't think I could live like I have been even if White Chocolate returned to Ironridge within minutes and they forgot each other completely. I will just have to have hope that some day, I can find something better, just like you." "But it hurts so much," Maple mumbled. "I've been there. So has White Chocolate. I don't want you to have to go through that..." "Yeah," Amber agreed, coming up and placing a hoof on Willow. "I mean, I haven't, but..." "Hmm." Willow hummed softly. "Wondering why I wasn't good enough, you mean? I've thought about it. It's hard not to. But there are three things I know which let me keep smiling. Would you girls like to hear what they are?" Maple and Amber nodded mutely. "The first," Willow said, "is that I had a choice. I could have sent her away and kept what I had. To a far corner of the city, maybe, and done my best to keep her presence a secret from him. Or worse, I could have sabotaged any attempt at reparations. But I didn't, and now two ponies are much better off for it... a much bigger gain than what I've given up. It will hurt, but I think they've been hurting for a lot longer than this will. And that means the world is a better place for it." She paused, almost wiping at her eyes, and then lowered her hoof. "The second reason is that for a whole decade, now, things have been the other way around. I've made mistakes, and you girls have paid for them. It was my fault and my weakness that kept us from Ironridge. And Maple, I know you started a family in part because you wanted to be like me." Maple hung her head. "I had a husband I thought was good and a healthy foal while you couldn't summon the will to get out of bed in the morning," Willow whispered, caressing Maple's ear. "I moved on and raised my children in peace, while you two earned cutie marks you suddenly couldn't use. I've never wanted to hold my good fortune against myself, or wish myself harm, or think that it should have been me, and I know you've tried your best not to resent me when I got lucky and you didn't. At the same time... I've never been able to forget. I've always done my best to be there for you, and always been afraid I didn't understand, or that it wasn't enough, because you were going through things I couldn't imagine." Amber pulled back, looking troubled. "You can understand that, right?" Willow's voice begged for a yes. "I've never wished it should have been me, but I've had to stop myself from it many times. But after this...?" She sighed, and smiled a little straighter. "I don't feel fine about this. Not yet. But a part of me that's hurt for a lot longer has finally gone still, and once it's over, I truly think things will be better than they were. Which is the third part..." She reached out, pulling both Maple and Amber into a tight hug. "I have you two. So there's your answer. It won't be tonight, but I will endure, and everything will turn out for the best." Maple gave a shaky smile. "It took me over a year..." "Try me," Willow murmured, her smile finally full and heartfelt. "Though for Faron and White Chocolate's sakes, would you mind if I spent the night here?" "And for yours, Grandma," Amber scoffed, thumping her on the back. "Come on, sleepover at Maple's! Dibs on the top of the bed pile!" Maple good-naturedly rolled her eyes. "We haven't done that since we were kids..." "I think we've all grown up enough in the past two years that we can do whatever we want again," Willow chuckled. "Maple, you should stir the soup. And we could always start telling about Ironridge..."