Ofolrodi

by Imploding Colon


Polly Wants Some Exposition

"Bloody 'ell! No Marrow! No scraps!"

"... ... ...?" Flynn stopped in mid-trot. That last voice most assuredly did not belong to any Dihmer. Turning about, he looked uphill at a higher block of the decrepit city. Between two stone structures, he saw a pair of goblins shoving a metal cart full of junk towards a row of large houses situated near the Blob's shoreline.

"I'm tellin' ya, cobbah! The drongo thet sent us on thet mission got his logistics all arse-backwards! Feh! Last time I evah put me faith in a Silt-Bloodah's reconaissance!"

"Oh stop your yobbin'!" the imp's partner pronounced between grunts as he pushed the cart towards a shadowy destination. "None of us became grub for change-o's or bats-o's! So it's all gravy! And I'm certain we can collect us some good gear from it-lingahs!"

"Guh. I'd almost rathah not even deal with the likes of 'em."

"Why not?! They're just as boring as all the other glue sticks!"

"Only it-lingahs are all so much... creepier!"

"Are you daft?!"

"No! Straight on! Them it-lingahs folks have some supah shiny eyes! Filled with starbeams!"

"Isn't that a good thing, as?"

"No! It's like jewels floatin' ovah turds! It's bloody scary, ya reckon?"

"Hahahaha! We're nothin' but grime-bloodahs this side of the Blob! A little bit of fright will keep us on our toes, aye?"

"Ughhhh... well when you put it that way..."

"Gotta be prepared for when the sarcophagus opens up and the war goes to the shittah! Then's the time to be scared, cobbah."

"I like to think that Peetra's flame will protect us."

"You also like to scratch your balls when you think nobody's lookin'. Wake up already..."

"Awwww stuff your mum."

As the two eventually shuffled beyond earshot, Flynn stood on his own in the center of the lower street. His tail flicked as his fetlocks shifted in place.

The stallion pivoted about, gazing calmly towards the smoldering air above the foundry—where he last saw his fellow companions.

He weathered a long, anxious breath.

One hoof moved, and then the other. Scuffling against polished stone, Flynn marched his way up the hill, making towards the line of large stone houses positioned along a cliffside overlooking the mutant ocean.


"So you're sayin' it isn't bright all the time?" Jacko remarked, his bright eyes blinking intensely.

Seraphimus shook her head. "There is a cycle of day and night. Night—as you might imagine—is very similar to how it is all the time here. But daytime is quite the opposite. The sky is warm, bright, and devoid of stars. Granted, this daily cycle changes with the seasons."

"Seasons?"

Seraphimus nodded this time. "The temperature of our side of the world varies from consistently warm to consistently cold. Daylight lasts shorter, then longer, then shorter again."

"So..." Jacko paced across the tiny compartment, scratching his chin. "...eet's a rotation."

"Precisely." Seraphimus took a breath. "You see ages ago, the Goddess Verlaxion decided that—" Her beak hung open as her words trailed off. She stared limply into the corner of the place.

Jacko swiveled to face her. His ears pricked curiously. "Who...?"

Seraphimus sighed. "... ... ...there is a rotation." Her feathers ruffled slightly. "Not everybody understands the reasons for everything."

"Any idea why this... sun doesn't illuminate the gobb-o's side of the world?"

"No. Although..." Seraphimus' eyes wandered out the window. She saw soot billowing into the air from where she last saw Rainbow Dash. "... ... ...some individuals have their own theories."

"Like what?"

"I've already told you enough for this trade." She turned to face him, eyecrests sharpening. "If you wish to know more, then you shall provide me with information."

"Awwwwwwwww!" Jacko stomped his foot like an impetuous child. "But I was just now startin' to understand the Eternal Flame!"

"Nothing is eternal," Seraphimus droned. "Either you answer a question of mine now or you forfeit the right to further conversation."

"Alright... alright!" Jacko folded his arms with a razor-toothed frown. "Yeesh! The way you lay the hammah in makes it sound like you were once law enforcement!"

"Uh huh." Seraphimus stared at him. "Are you ready for my question?"

"Fire away, sheila!"

"How many types of imps are there?"

"Pffft! Are you yankin' me ears, love?" Jacko smirked. "The branches of blood is only rivaled by the spokes of Peetra!"

Seraphimus squinted in confusion. "I... I don't understand—"

"Take just Blobstain for instance!" Jacko counted off his eight fingers. "There's the Smelt-Bloodahs! The Ore-Bloodahs! The distant cousins to the Iron-Bloodahs! Then you've got Campo and his bloody-arse Fur-Blood tradie family. Pah! Oh... also the Shale-Bloodahs; you can't forget them—"

"No, that's not what I meant—"

"...then you've got my clan—the Tail-Bloodahs. Although... heh... to be honest, I haven't really made my bed with them snot-blowin' yabbos. Too busy complainin' about the state of the other butcher-blood gobb-o's. Maybe if they lived closer to the Blob they could make friendly with the metal workahs and the scrap collectahs and then there'd be less to spit about—"

"I meant biologically!" Seraphimus growled. "I have reason to believe that there are at least three kinds of imps." She took a deep breath. "Is this true?"

"Gotta admit..." Jacko shrugged. "You've got me flustered there, love. I mean—sure—there are the ogres, of course..."

"Ogres?"

"But nobody calls them big blokes imps. At least not in the branches I hail from."

"Ogres live in Petra...?"

"Yes'm. Buncha bloody drongos. 'ella huge and quick to conk their noggins against any yobbo that so much as looks at them arsewise. But they're good in a pinch against change-os or other beasties. Big burly skull crackahs, aye? Haha! Oh, and of course, the kobolds are as good as brothahs in our book."

Seraphimus blinked. "Just what are kobolds?"

"Buncha creepy bastards on the surface—that's what. But beneath their lizard flesh, they're as sweet as cinammon. Full of starbeams too. Legend has it—back in the day—they helped us lay down the foundation for the biggest manifestation of Peetra this world has evah seen."

"They assisted in the construction of the imp city?"

"More than that. They help keep the law! Every metal mum who's evah served in defense of Peetra's flame have paid the kobolds theah respect! Avril's no different. That's aces important now, seein' how the kobolds have nearly gone extinct."

"I see..." Seraphimus took a breath. "So... there are four of you Petra-spawn..."

"I... I don't get it..." Jacko blinked. "Who do you reckon's the fourth, love?"

"The trolls, of course," Seraphimus said calmly. "Disgusting, mindless creepers. They're a lot like you—only pale and more muscular and rabid to the core. My group and I barely survived a... herd of them..." Her dialogue faded as she noticed how dreadfully still it had gotten in the room.

Jacko's little hands had formed into iron fists, and he clenched his razor-sharp teeth with a hitherto unfathomable ferocity. "We do not speak of those cold embah souls... evah!" He shook in place, his voice cracking. "They turned theah back on Peetra's flame and theah a curse to every createah that speaks theah name!"

"I..." Seraphimus leaned back slightly. "...I wasn't aware—"

"You want my advice?!?" Jacko swung his arm in the air between them. "If you evah want to have a soot stain's chance of gracin' the branches of Peetra, forget you evah saw them pathetic shite mongrels! If you so much as mention theah name you'll be bludgeoned by ogres on sight and pissed on by imp scamps of all bloods and colahs!"

"Erm..."

"Do I make meself cleah?!?"

"Yes. Indeed you do," Seraphimus spoke in a neutral tone. "I am... sorry for bringing it up."

"Righ. No harm done." Jacko brushed invisible grime off his vest and leaned back, catching his breath. "Just... just gotta get me head back in the zone heah... whew... bloody mongrels..."

In the meantime, Seraphimus was staring into the corner with a confused expression crossing her face. "Wait..." Her beak twisted, as if she was about to regurgitate. "...why am I apologizing?"

Jacko spoke up again before she could complete that thought. "Aces, sheila! I've got a good question for you now! Assumin' I've earned my chance at a go, aye?"

Seraphimus cleared her throat. She stood tall, reminding both of them who was the larger in the room. "By all means. You're allowed to proceed."

Jacko's ears leaned apart as he blinked starrily. "Dan in Penumbra... which way does the toilet swirl, aye?"