//------------------------------//
// 2 - All Hail the Mighty Nightmare Moon 
// Story: Welcome to Ponyville 
// by Ocean Waves 
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The stars have aligned. They are still shining for this 5 PM broadcast.

Welcome to Ponyville


It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that this station has fallen into enemy hooves. The battle was as fierce as it was short, and our head of security Sound Mike will likely never trot again. In addition, seven of our interns have been injured.

As part of the terms of surrender, I am to read the demands of Ms. Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon, who in addition to being real is both an Alicorn and in rebellion against our missing, yet still eternal ruler Princess Celestia. The demands are written in some form of archaic Equestrian, and I will attempt to translate them to the best of my ability.

Citizens of Ponyville:

Vague threat. Implied threat. Vague threat. Demand. Demand. Implied threat. All hail the mighty Nightmare Moon. Vague threat. Some sort of squiggle that may be a threat to me personally or just a signature.

I apologize for any errors in translation. My studies in archaic Equestrian were confined to the four hours prior to the final exam.

As a side note, Sound Mike has been promoted to the writing staff. As we all know, working for the radio station is a lifetime commitment, so without his legs Mr. Mike must continue his eternal servitude in a different department.

With that out of the way, we now return to our regular radio program.


In national news, the sun has yet to rise and the moon has not set. Additionally, Princess Celestia did not appear for the Summer Sun Celebration and is presumed missing. Local scientists suggest that this event can have massive effects on our planet, particularly on that of the tides. Thankfully, Ponyville is not near any ocean and is thus safe from these catastrophic events in the short term. 


The other important event in national news is the appearance of the previously mentioned Nightmare Moon, who is attempting to perform a coup and bring about eternal night. There is no word yet of which side Princess Cadance supports, or if she intends to turn this into a battle royale.


Currently, the Royal Guard is denying that their Ponyville detachment has been defeated by Nightmare Moon using lightning. They do acknowledge that Nightmare Moon is an exceptionally powerfully electrokinetic, and advise all the residents of Ponyville to seek shelter and stay away from windows.


In local news, six mares were seen heading into the Everfree forest earlier. As we all know, ponies who enter the Everfree Forest are never seen again. Their mass funeral is planned for next Saturday.


With the revelation that fictional Alicorns depicted for our holidays can come to life, Mayor Mare has banned all images of the following: Foal New Year, Santa Hooves, Nightmare Moon, and Cupid. The Colta-Cola company has already filed fifteen lawsuits to preserve their advertisement campaign.  


Tragedy struck the Ponyville Rec Center during the attempted resurrection of Golden Daisy. Without the vital ingredient of the rising sun, the ritual went awry when attempting to call forth the deceased's spirit. Instead of seeing the elder Daisy brought back to life, onlookers were treated to a midnight performance of "Thriller" and provided complementary tickets to see Hamilton. 

In addition, the ritual has summoned and bound a mysterious spirit to Pushing Daisy, who now insists on speaking about herself in the plural form. She has since been arrested for violating the ban on summoning during the day of the Summer Sun Celebration. 


The Discord cultist arrested yesterday has managed to escape from prison during the chaos caused by Nightmare Moon. According to the Royal Guard, be on the lookout for a small green Pegasus stallion going by names similar to Ferris, Ferrus, Wheel, or Bob. If spotted, contact the Royal Guard and delay the cultist by engaging him in conversation about the merits of abstract art. 


An incident occurred earlier today at the strange Sequoia mailbox. 

Or is it earlier tonight, as the sun has not risen? 

Regardless, an incident occured earlier at the mailbox. Presumably in response to the 100 bits in fines, the mailbox glowed a sickly green for half an hour and then moved about fifteen feet. Incidentally, the mailbox is no longer in conflict with existing zoning regulations.

Nopony saw the mailbox when it moved, and we are all uncertain as to how this was accomplished. A vigil to observe any future movements by the mailbox has begun.


Finally, I'd like to talk about Unisus guards. You know, the Royal Guards with both wings and a horn we sometimes see for a split second. Are they secretly a princess in disguise? Are they proof of a supersoldier program? What are their names? 

From Ponyville Radio, this has been Dusty Roads. Goodnight.