//------------------------------//
// Rarity's royal raze 
// Story: The Mane Six Lose Their Collective Shit - A Crackfic 
// by RejectOwl 
//------------------------------//

"So Rares, how do we take care of Celestia?" Apple Jack asked. 

"Yeah, Rarity hasn't had a chance to try yet!" Pinkie said happily, still happy her plan worked.

"Hmmm. Well, that pitfall was shockingly effective, honestly maybe Luna deserved it if she was too dumb to fly away. But, how about we just destroy Celestia's reputation? I could probably manage it."

"You know... you're right, why didn't she even try?" Twilight asked.

"Shock makes you do crazy things!" Pinkie said happily.

"Pinkie, I've only had my wings a few years and it's already instinct, Luna's had hers for over a thousand." Twilight pointed out.

"Oh, well.... luck?"

"Indeed, nothing but luck, forgive me Pinkie, but an assassination requires much more finesse." Rarity sat musing over her various ideas. "You did have quite a good idea earlier on just blowing everything up, but of course innocent ponies would get in the way and that would just be more messy that was needed."

"Would not!" Pinkie defended.

"Hush Pinkie, I'm thinking." Rarity ordered.

"I could just shove her off a huge cliff."

"Rarity, wings." Twilight sighed.

"Didn't work for Luna." Rarity pointed out.

"And I said already that was odd." 

"How about...just, knock down the throne room while Celestia is in it, crush her to death?" Rarity suggested.

"That... might work. As long as we made sure no innocent ponies were in the way." Twilight answered.

"You get the dynamite, I'll scope it out!" Rainbow said and took off like a rocket.

"Oh, well... I guess we're doing this." Rarity sighed.



It turned out, explosives were shockingly easy to get, and ponies didn't tend to ask questions.

After several hours they had the dynamite carefully planted around the throne room.

"Go get Celestia, tell her, I don't know, tell her we have chocolate cake or some shit." Twilight instructed Pinkie Pie.

Within minutes Pinkie was back with the princess.

"So, cake?" Celestia asked.

"Yeah, we just gotta go get it! Go wait in your throne room!" Rarity instructed. 

"I suppose for cake I can wait." Celestia smiled and trotted in.

"Press it?" Pinkie asked vibrating as she held the detonator.

"Not yet." Rarity watched carefully, until Celestia sat on her throne.

"Now!" 

Pinkie slammed the button, and the throne rocketed into the sky with a large explosion.

They heard the screaming of Celestia get fainter, and then stop.


"Wow.... it worked."

A flash of light in the now destroyed throne room.

"Oh my. What on earth was that?" Celestia asked examining her obliterated throne room.

"Buck this!" Rarity screamed.