//------------------------------// // It's About Time // Story: Unpleasant Correspondence // by StormLuna //------------------------------// Dear Princess Celestia, I honestly think that Spike doesn't give a shit about anything. You see, when I made a schedule I forgot to make room in the schedule to plan for next month. That is a disaster that could throw my whole year off! Speaking of disasters, something weird happened. A me from the future, next Tuesday morning to be exact, came back to warn me about a disaster! I knew I had to do something so I rounded up the peons in this dump and told them that a disaster was coming and we had to prepare for it. You're not going to believe it but they actually managed to do everything I ordered them to although Applejack's idiot sister wound up loosening a bolt on the bridge rather than tightening it. Oh well, I'll just stay off that bridge and everything will be fine. If I'm lucky, maybe one of these hicks you are trying to force me to befriend will cause it to collapse and then they will drown, meaning they would have to be replaced! And then what happened, I have a feeling that I was trolled. Cerberus left his post and you know, he just doesn't do things like that. I have a feeling that YOU lured him out with dog bones or something just so I will have to be inconvenienced by some evil creature from Tartarus later on and you'll probably expect me to befriend these losers I hang out with without initiating them! Speaking of a pony I need to initiate, PETA girl somehow managed to calm that mutt down so I could haul his ass home. I know you were probably up on your balcony watching me deal with this shit, stuffing your face with cake and laughing as I got more and more nervous about the upcoming disaster. What pisses me off the most though was my dunce acquaintance never calibrated my telescope and I thought I had blinded myself! Naturally I finally decided I had to stop time to prevent the upcoming disaster. Now I have one serious question, why weren't the guard ponies or you surprised to see that I had gone into the Archives, particularly the Starswirl wing? It seems almost as though you expected to see me there, like you had some sort of sixth sense telling you that I was going to be there. Now I didn't want to go through that horrible week again so I tried using Starswirl's time travel spell to go back and tell myself to not worry but stupid past me had to try and play twenty questions. What an idiot I was when I went back to visit myself. Thinking about it, I should have just smacked her, yelled at her that there would be a disaster unless she initiated PETA girl no matter what and been done with it. Oh no though, I just didn't have the sense to do that now did I. Now that I think about it, Starswirl's spell sucks. Seriously, it can only take you a week back and just for a few minutes. What a shame I couldn't travel back as far as I wanted for as long as I wanted. If I could have, I would have went back, told myself about how you were going to banish me and said that if I went to Moondancer's party, I wouldn't get banished to this dump. That way I could have avoided you making my life miserable and had friends that put out, not some PETA member who is too dumb to know what is good for her. My advice though, take this spell and burn it. Starswirl was sub-par when it came to time spells to start with so no need to keep this thing around. And on a final note, Spike shit all over the place in the archives so you might want to clean that up. Your Time Traveling Student, Twilight Sparkle To My Time Traveling Student, Just when I thought your meltdown over the friendship letter took the cake, this was even funnier. I can't believe you would freak out over not making time in your schedule to make another schedule. I am very disappointed in you yet again, if you had even a tenth as much common sense as I thought you did, you would have either simply decided to stay up late one night to make time for it OR you would have said, "Fuck this shit, I don't need a schedule." I didn't raise you to be such an idiot Twilight, I would replace you but I enjoy not only making your life miserable, but those acquaintances of yours as well. I am going to give you some advice, you might want to limit Spike's ice cream intake because there is one thing you don't know about baby dragons. Yes they can stuff their face for nearly a week and hold it in quite well, but once they have to go they will shit all over the place. Regarding the shit, that ain't my problem. YOU will either clean up that shit or I'll make sure you never see Twinkleshine again, got it? Oh and another thing, I thought you would be bright enough to not stare at the sun through a telescope. That is another thing I am greatly disappointed over. Had I known you would pull some of the shit you have, I would have not let you into my school because you doing idiotic things like that makes ME look bad. I suppose we both better hope that your acquaintance who may have ADHD doesn't tell anypony about it. If she does, parents may not want to send their kids to my school anymore. If that does happen, not only will you be punished, but your parents' taxes will be quadrupled as well. Regarding the time travel spell, yeah I think Starswirl really half-assed that one, it could be better, much better. I have a feeling that someday, somepony with a lot more smarts than you have, somepony I will hold very dear, will come along and perfect it but for now, I'll just lock it up so you won't be going back a week and causing yourself unnecessary stress. Your Disappointed Overlord, Princess Celestia P.S. Regarding Cerberus escaping and me trolling you, I plead the Fifth.