//------------------------------// // Chapter IX // Story: Songbird // by PaulAsaran //------------------------------// Sound brought her back to the world. A rushing noise, rising and falling in a steady rhythm. At once familiar, and yet also alien, like something she had not heard in many moons. It was Celestia’s curious grasping for a name to the sound that allowed her to escape the realm of unconsciousness. Despite the fresh memory of flying through darkness in fear of a desperate beast, Celestia felt only calm as she opened her eyes. They settled upon a dark horizon of endless water, and her curiosity was instantly sated by the sight of waves lapping against a sandy beach. She lay upon soft grass, a little oasis on a vast coast of sand and rock. How had she come to be here? Curiously, it didn’t seem all that important. What was important was the figure sitting a few feet away, staring through her as if she wasn’t even there. Queen Chrysalis, her eyes glazed and her shoulders slumped, appeared as if she were in a trance. That ended when Celestia rose to her hooves. Chrysalis blinked, her gaze settling upon Celestia. She promptly straightened her posture. “Ah, you’re finally awake.” “Indeed.” Celestia stretched languidly, hearing the joints in her wings pop. She felt… better. Like a weight had been taken from her back and her mind had been freed from some crippling imprisonment. As she settled upon her haunches, she took time to study her old foe. Chrysalis appeared every bit as she recalled; supple, strong, and confident. Chrysalis smiled, but there was none of the expected pettiness in it. “I told you we would meet again.” “So you did.” Celestia examined their surroundings. The beach seemed to stretch on forever, just as, at her back, she found a seemingly endless desert of rock. The sky glimmered with stars. “So, this is the end of the journey. West, to the edge of the world.” “Is that what you think?” At Celestia’s silent stare, Chrysalis shrugged. “It’s only a question.” Celestia hummed, then turned her gaze to the ocean. The longer she stared, the less sure of herself she felt. One part of her mind wanted to dive beneath the water’s surface, confident that whatever she’d been seeking all this time would be there. Yet another, much louder voice begged her to flee this place, for no good could come of it. There was darkness here, beyond that of the night sky and her unusual companion. She took another look at said companion. “You are not really Chrysalis, are you?” The changeling queen cocked her head, her long green mane spilling over her shoulder. “What makes you say that?” “I just know.” Which was the truth; though she couldn’t fathom why, Celestia was absolutely certain of her claim. “Although I suppose it helps to note that you didn’t kill me in my sleep.” “You know me so well, do you?” Chrysalis smiled once more, and again, there was no rebuke in either her expression or her tone. “So if I am not really Chrysalis, who am I?” “That I cannot answer.” Another glance at the ocean made Celestia’s insides squirm, so she kept her attention on the… not-Chrysalis before her. “But I believe you are the same Chrysalis I fought before, back when this all began. I think you’ve been part of this illusion all along.” “This illusion?” Chrysalis pursed her lips. “So you think none of this is real.” “My student became a monster before my very eyes.” Perhaps the thought should have horrified her. Instead, she felt… weary. “So many things have happened. Now that I have a cleared head, I realize they were all a bit fantastical. Overblown.” She considered her last moments of awareness, the way Twilight Sparkle… died? Contrasted with her current state of mind, “I feel as if I’ve been purged of my illness, if illness it was.” She studied Chrysalis, who now possessed a troubled expression. “What is the matter?” Chrysalis did not answer immediately. She rubbed her chin with the back of a fetlock, eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. “It is only… you think none of this is real.” Celestia raised an eyebrow. “You propose otherwise?” “It’s real,” her companion muttered. “All of it. At least, in a sense. If we gave you something fake, you’d have noticed right away.” Ears perked. Pulse quickened. Celestia leaned closer, but found her eyes drifting to the ever-lapping waves. “Explain yourself. What are you, and what have you done to me?” “Who I am isn’t important,” Chrysalis countered, but without force. “What I gave you was paradise. And you rejected it. You rejected our gift. Why would you reject it?” She stepped sideways, blocking Celestia’s view of the ocean. “You don’t want to leave, do you? I mean, you were happy, right?” “How could I have been happy in a fake world?” Stepping around Chrysalis, Celestia approached the water. “Why… am I drawn to the ocean?” Her every step felt heavier as she closed in on the waves, her hooves sinking deep in the coarse sand, yet she refused to stop. As much as her mind told her to keep away, something else pushed her forward. Chrysalis walked beside her, eyes wide and wings buzzing lightly. “Where are you going? We’re talking.” “The ocean,” she whispered. “Something’s down there.” “That’s called fish,” came the droning reply. “It’s water. Now come on, you should head back home.” All thoughts stopped. The fear swelled within like a monster in its own right, attempting to root Celestia’s hooves to the sand. But she was more than used to defending herself against these attacks – for she had no doubt at all that this was an attack. She whipped around so fast Chrysalis almost fell in her effort to back away. Her eyes went wide at the snarl in Celestia’s voice. “Who are you? What are you? How are you putting these thoughts and emotions into my head? Speak, monster!” “Monster?” At last, the creature dared to raise its voice. “All I wanted to do was protect you! To save your mind like you refuse to do for others! I came here to warn you: go back. You’ll find nothing on this path but more pain and bitterness. You don’t need to be a hero anymore.” “I never saw myself as a hero!” Now it was Chrysalis who snarled. “Oh, that is rich. Celestia, the Sun Incarnate, the Glory of Equestria, the All-Seeing and All-Knowing Eye of the Land, doesn’t think she’s a hero?” Celestia’s heart raced and her blood boiled. Her magic… her magic was weak, but that didn’t stop her from looming over the creature. “Nopony has called me by those titles in centuries. How do you know them?” She peeled her lips back and stomped closer. “How do you know what my parents looked like? Or Dova, or Starswirl?” Chrysalis practically vibrated with apparent fury, yet she slowly forced her mouth closed and took a deep breath through her nose. When she answered, it was in a low, threatening tone. “You are treading dangerous ground, Princess. I came here to help you, to prevent you from making another foolish mistake.” She thrust her hoof out to the water. “You don’t want to know what is out there. You were never the fighter, always the diplomat. I tell you now, down there you will fight, and you are already dangerously weakened.” The waters were calm, the sound of their steady rhythm soothing. Yet the water was black as coal, and still Celestia felt that niggling fear in the back of her mind just by its proximity. All of this, combined with Chrysalis’s manner, made something clear to her. “You don’t want me to go down there.” The changeling, if changeling it was, stared at her tight-lipped and hunched. It said nothing, but hidden behind the aggressive posturing were the eyes of discomfort and alarm. It was all Celestia needed; she turned for the ocean. “Where are you going?” “You don’t want me to enter the water,” Celestia replied. “Which means that is where I must now go.” “What? No!” Chrysalis walked alongside her, baring her fangs. “Have you not been listening? There’s nothing for you that way!” The water splashed over their hooves, sending a chill up Celestia’s legs that threatened to take the breath from her lungs. It wasn’t just the cold, but a lingering anxiety that grew stronger with every step. Yet she refused to listen to that irrational instinct. Her journey was not yet over. “Stop. Celestia. Celestia! Please, stop!” Chrysalis continued to follow, even as the water rose up above their knees. She stayed with Celestia, and yet she made no physical or magical effort to slow her down. Buoyed by this awareness, Celestia pushed back the wall of horror clawing at her confidence. It was just salt water. No more, no less. “You’re going to ignore me?” At last, Chrysalis paused, falling behind. “Ignore me like always? Just go on ahead with your own plans, never listen to what anypony else has to say?” When Celestia kept walking, she began to shout. “You pigheaded child! You haven’t changed at all, have you? You’re going to die, do you hear me? You’re going to ignore me and get yourself killed!” Celestia said nothing, but not because she was ignoring Chrysalis. No, she kept her lips tightly sealed for fear that if she did speak, it would reveal the lie of her outer calm. The water was up to her chest now,so terribly cold. Though the waves were low, they threatened to rise above her chin at any second. Celestia’s heart was clutched in a vice-like grip, her breathing haggard and faster than normal. At last, she stopped. Her gaze flicked across the waves, the salty smell of the sea invading her nostrils and threatening to uproot her hard-won surety. What was she supposed to do now? Her hoof trembled when she tried to move it forward, and it had little to do with the friged water. It landed on nothing; there was a drop-off right in front of her. The fact made her pull back, a burst of air escaping her lungs. Down. I need to go down. But what was down? Why did she need to go? Something important was there. She knew it, she could feel it, like an invisible chain tugging on her chest. Something valuable only to her. “You can’t do it, can you?” Chrysalis appeared at her side. Walking on the water. She smiled at Celestia, a calming, warm expression. “It’s alright, Celestia. There’s no shame in that. Let me bring you home. We can try again. I promise, I’ll make a better world this time.” A better world? A world where she was ignorant, where everything was hoofed to her on a silver platter, where all her dreams of peace and prosperity for her ponies were reality. Yet all a lie. Celestia considered this possibility as she stared into Chrysalis’s patient visage. Then she dove, the chill assaulting her senses like tiny needles across the whole of her body. Yet she swam down, using her wings and legs in tandem as water filled her vision, stifled her sense of smell, and muffled her ears. For all that, Chrysalis’s fury rang clearly through the water, as if it weren’t even there. “Fine! You want to throw away our gifts, you throw them away! Go down there and get yourself killed, see if we care! It’s not as if you cared about anypony else, why should we care about you?” Ears folded back against the rush of water, Celestia pushed herself down deeper. She battled with her body, fighting to keep her heart calm to preserve her oxygen. It didn’t cooperate. That little voice in the back of her mind was screaming. It’s all over! It’s so dark! Cold. So cold. This was a bad idea. Why am I doing this? I’m going to drown! What was I thinking? There’s nothing down there! Go back. Go back. Go back! No! She swam. Down. Into the depths. Into the darkness. Her frantic heartbeats would not dissuade her! “You’re pathetic, Celestia. Look at you, running away from your problems. You should be facing them, facing me. But no, you’d rather risk everything on some nonsense feeling that everything will go right if you just take the path that makes no sense!” Gritting her teeth, she ignored the taunting. She had to go deeper. Even as her heart pounded, it sang for that which called for it. Her destination needed her as much as she needed it! She didn’t think about her tormentor, would not succumb to the strain in her lungs. Her every ounce of dwindling energy would be spent on the goal, as mysterious as it was. “What goal? Death? Will you be a martyr? That’s just like you, to try to make yourself out to be so special!” The voice… it was changing. Lighter, but still with a hard edge to it. Young. Familiar. “What will all your precious ponies do when they find out you killed yourself over—" an emotion, a niggling feeling that you just couldn’t ignore? It was more than that. It had to be! Though her lungs began to burn, Celestia refused to acknowledge her need for air. There were things far more important. It was within reach, it had to be! You will never know, because you’re going to get yourself killed. Drowned like a stupid rat! Is that all you are, Celestia? Vermin too dumb to know when to head for shore? If only she could identify that voice… Why do you keep swimming? Why? Do you not want to live? Of course she did. But she had responsibilities. She had to find it. She had to ignore the fire in her lungs. Keep swimming. Down. Deeper. Farther. It was there, she knew it! You don’t even know what it is! What if it’s nothing? And who are you to speak of responsibilities? You had a responsibility, and you blew it! But it never occurred to you that the great and wise Celestia could fail, did it? She… could fail. She’d failed before. It might happen again. Here. Now. But she was so close! It will. I can feel your lungs. They’re going to burst soon. You will die if you don’t turn back now. Turn back, Celestia. Turn back and admit your failure! No. She’d never turn back. Not to that. Never to that! Her mind begged for air, but she kept going deeper. Even if she failed. Even if she died. And you will. You’re going to die. And for what? You’re worthless. By the Gods, her chest could take no more! The air burst from her mouth, bubbles swirling before her eyes on their way to freedom. Her heart throbbed as black water invaded her throat. She kicked and fought and kept going down, down, down before it was too late! Far too late. She’d never make it back to the surface. I can get you back. Let me save you. Her head and her lungs agreed. They screamed at her for mercy, for pity, working to lock her thrashing limbs. She would not yield! This was ending on her terms. You… You stupid pony! Will you not accept my help even for this? Temptation gnawed at her, but she slapped it down with another thrust of her trembling wings. Its help could only lead to lies. Even if she never reached the truth… Truth? You want truth? You’re a stupid bitch, and you’re going to die! How’s that for truth? Her body concurred. She ached all over. Every beat of her wings was a struggle, a desperate fight. Her legs felt like they were pushing against molasses. Down. More. Just a little more! Surely. Her body couldn’t fail her now! Nopony will remember you. Nopony will care. And why should they? A little more… I hate you. The darkness was growing. Just a little more… You deserve it. Keep swimming… I can still save you. Just give up. Down… Give up. She really was going to die. Give up. But she would never go back. Give up! One more stroke. One more kick. Please, give up! The world twisted. Visions. Sights, sounds, tastes, smells, feelings. Air! Too fast to take in, all in an indecipherable mess of awareness! You… you bitch. Celestia faced the peculiar feeling of down becoming up. The waters surged, taking her with them. The cold dissipated in a fresh wave of something warm, and growing warmer. I gave you everything! I made you happy! Faces swam through Celestia’s vision. Dova, Starswirl, her parents, Twilight. Her lungs sucked in, and though there was no air to be gained, she felt rejuvenated and refreshed. Gone was the pain, the darkness, the crushing sensation. And with that, the giddy knowledge that she wasn't going to die! Why couldn’t you accept it? Why? Names swept through her brain. Raven. Shining Armor. Twilight Sparkle. Fancy Pants. Cadance. A stream of recollections came with each, faster and brighter and stronger. A thousand years of forgotten memories cascaded across her brain as the waters propelled her faster and faster to the surface. She leaned into it, tucked in her legs and wings such that she might move faster with the mighty flow! You can’t come back. I won’t let you come back! Power the likes of which Celestia had never even conceived coursed through her veins. It was magic, burning beyond the hottest of fires, yet all the more soothing for it. A name arose. A face, a memory, a trauma. Go back. Don’t think about it. Forget it! She doesn’t care about you, you shouldn’t care about— “Luna!” The world erupted in brilliant white light. Fire seared every facet of her vision, roaring in an endless cacophony of beautiful music. Yet it meant so little, for Celestia had regained that one piece of the puzzle that made everything come together. She had a little sister, and Luna was waiting for her. Waiting… in Equestria. She could feel Luna’s aura, her cool and turbulent presence. Not on high, no… She’d come home. She exploded through the last layer of resistance and into open space. The flaming surface of the Sun met her in every direction save up. Her eyes fell first upon the blue and green orb that was Equestria. Then she saw something else, something that made her heart swell: the moon, pale and lacking a familiar silhouette. As her power grew by the second, bolstered by a now-unfettered connection to her charge, she set her gaze upon home. She was just in time to see a dot of light on a surface of dark green, multihued and glorious in spite of its size. Celestia aimed her body towards the planet, eagerness and determination mixing in her heart. “Do not worry, little sister. I’m coming.” She streaked through space, a fiery comet in the dark.