Sunset didn’t know what was worse; the fact that she was alone, or the fact that she was alone not of her own choice but by forced exclusion by those whom she once thought were her friends. Or maybe it was all of that plus the pain brought by thoughts of what had been happening these past two weeks leading up to where she was now. Sunset wasn’t sure. She just knew that she was hurt, tired, and all but done with life at this point.
The blast of cold air from a shoddily patched up hole in the wall made the girl shiver. The slight distraction was almost enough to bring Sunset out of her thoughts, but was immediately assaulted by memories of the words and actions she had been forced to endure throughout the weeks.
What are you doing here, anon-a-miss?
Don’t you know no one wants you here?
We’d be better off had you never existed.
Secret stealer.
Meanie.
Bitch.
She-demon.
That word. The mere thought of it made sunset feel sick as she curled in a protective ball. The amber skinned girl clutched what could have once been considered a blanket around her form, struggling to hold back another round of tears that threatened to erupt from her reddened eyes.
How did it get to this?
Sunset sniffled, remembering the time before this pain, before this exclusion and most of all...before anon-a-miss. Things had been good. They’d been great actually, and sunset as well as her friends had been as thick as thieves. Slumber parties, plans for get togethers over the winter break, and general things that would be fun when shared among friends. But, that was just it. The cause of her situation. If it wasn’t for anon-a-miss, whoever they may be, perhaps things would have turned out differently. Maybe sunset wouldn’t be forced to return home each day, spirits lowered at another failed attempt to convince her friends of her innocence. Maybe she wouldn’t be more depondent than the day prior, not covered in new bruises and pains from those who ‘accidentally’ brushed passed her in the hallway or those more bold in the halls who cornered her when people weren’t present. Hell, sometimes there were nad they just didn’t care, spurred on by the shouts and jeers directed at the girl prostrate on the floor, barely registering anything other than the crushing humiliation she knew she was under.
Although, I can’t say that I blame them. With my history at that school, this is likely my punishment for making their lives hell for almost three years.
Despite what the rest of the school was doing to her, sunset felt that she could have almost put up with it if her friends were at her side. Their support, just like when she had been redeemed by the elements of harmony at the Fall Formal, would have been able to get her through this hell.
That is, if they weren’t the ones to leave me first.
Sunset neatly cried aloud once more remembering the accusations of the five girls before leaving her to cry out after them in despair, pleading for her innocence and their understanding. The brutal way in which they immediately turned against sunset, at the slightest suspicion towards her hurt. They hadn’t even given sunset a chance to explain her side, never gave her a chance to prove that she was being honest. Applejack was the element of fucking honesty, for Celestia’s sake; surely that farm girl could have at least sensed her genuineness.
They should have known. Should have known that with all of the experiences that they had together, with sunset’s addition to the elements and just being friends with her for months after the Formal, that she would never go back to the life of loneliness that had been her entire life before CHS.
Sunset’s gaze shifted to the side where her magic journal sat opened on a makeshift table. While not close enough to read Twilight’s last message, the contents were fresh enough in her memory.
Sometimes, you just have to stay strong, and find your family.
That statement, once written, had given sunset the strength through these weeks to hope that her friends could be reasoned with if she tried hard enough. But trying to meet in the school was all but impossible with the other students’ abuse, and outside of school was no better. The most recent attempt with them at Sugarcube Corner nearly resulted in Rainbow Dash beating the red head’s face in for even showing up. It would have happened too, had Applejack not grabbed the prismatic girl and held her back before jumping the other girl. Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rarity just stared with all the anger and suppressed disgust of someone who had just discovered they stepped in dog poop in their favorite shoes.
Sunset scoffed.
Find my family, huh. Problem is Twilight, I’m just not sure who that is anymore.
As sunset sat on her mattress (more like a lumpy rock that hurts my back every night), the sadness she had been struggling to contain gradually shifted to annoyance. That annoyance then became anger and a sickening rage that burned in her gut, searing hot and bright in her core until it was unleashed in a yell as the once unicorn jumped to her feet and threw off her blanket. From there, the girl proceeded to let loose her pain on nearly everything within sight. Pictures of her friends lay shattered, clothes and shoes that she managed to obtain through her years on earth were strewn across the ground and even torn in places. School supplies were flung about the room in her tirade, and even the table holding her journal wasn’t spared, as with a feat of rage fueled strength, Sunset flipped it over.
Sunset stood amongst the chaos that was once her room. Her teal eyes were opened wide as she gulped in heaps of air. The adrenaline was fading. With nothing left to break, the anger that had once burned beneath her skin seemed to simmer until it was only a bearable ache that centered in her chest. Immediately, the last of Sunset’s strength gave out as she collapsed to the floor. Her anger came out again it seemed. She supposed those sessions with Principal Celestia didn’t really help manage it as much as she liked to believe. She closed her eyes.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Sunset repeated the process a few more times. Even if she did still have problems controlling her anger, at least the breathing exercises seemed to work somewhat.
Once she finally felt stable enough to think clearly, sunset began to plan. It was always something she had been good at. Since her time as Princess Celestia's student, the ability to scheme and plan had been her pride as a pony and a human. Of course it’s what got her into trouble in this world, but still, it helped her mind focus on possibilities rather than stew like how she’d been doing. She planned out what her next course of actions would be. What she would be able to do in the near future since apparently the one she had at Canterlot High was shot. After all, when it got down to it, no one apparently was willing to give her a chance. Not even the friends twilight had entrusted her with. If they really weren’t going to listen, did that even make them friends? Were those five even her friends to begin with? Or was she simply a charity case thrusted on them by a promise to Twilight? True friends would have given her the benefit of the doubt, would have stuck by her and helped her when she was at her lowest. And even compared to the Fall Formal, this had to be it.
Not anymore.
Determination sparked in her eyes.
Not anymore.
She wasn’t going to be the one everyone wanted to pick on. She wasn’t going to be the world’s punching bag. Sunset knew she was innocent even if everyone else felt otherwise, but letting them continue to harass her was more than she could take. Rising from the floor, Sunset grabbed the journal laying on its side, the spine slightly bent from its collision with the ground.
I’m sorry Twilight, but I’ve made my decision. If this is what my life amounts to after all the work I’ve done to prove I’ve changed, then it isn’t worth it. At least not at CHS.
Sunset didn’t bother to tidy her floor. Not now anyway. It was too late to be worrying about that stuff and besides, she could fix it later. Faster than what her train wreck of a life had become, too. The red and yellow haired girl climbed into her bed, only bothering with the removal of her shoes and jacket. Everything else took more energy than she was willing to give effort for at the moment. Come the next school day, Sunset had more important things to take care of.