Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story)

by BrownDog77


Episode 13: Tech v. Woods

Down With Chrysalis’s Comment

"BUCK NO! A THOUSAND TIMES BUCK NO!" B2 jumps at your sudden outburst and looks at you in confusion.

"Whoa hey man! I know the Everfree has some creepy rumors behind it bu-"

Not allowing your counterpart to finish you send him a glare as you semi-shout,

"Rumors!? On my world practically every type of rumor that forest had is true! I've almost been maimed by practically every creature that lives in there, including the chipmunks!"

“Well…I seriously doubt you’ll come across violent chipmunks here. There is an animal preserve not far from the camp but-“

“Oh that’s even better, wild and exotic killer critters coming for my soft human hide! Do the plants spray knock out gas as well?!” you grunt.

While this only causes B2's confusion to soar, you hear Selena sigh in your head as she says,

Bugze calm down! I know that forest has caused us problems in the past but now isn't the time to-

Some problems!? I've gotten my flank kicked more times than I can count in that forest alone! For Luna’s Sake, I'm pretty sure that forest has a personal grudge against me for the amount times its almost killed me!

Yes, in our world. I'm sure in this dimension it is a perfectly normal place where no magic or dangerous creatures exist...

MEANWHILE AT CAMP EVERFREE

"Achoo!"

"Whoa Gloriosa you coming down with a cold or something?"

"No no I'm fine Timber. Through I feel like someone just said something very ironic about me."

"Huh...weird."

BACK TO YOU

...

Why do I feel like I've just been disproven?

Because the universe is conspiring with Lady Luck to make our lives suck, that's why. There is nothing on this earth that will make me go to that camp! Nothing!

TRANSITION

Fireheart1945’s Comment

“Gorramnit!” you shout into the accursed trees as you try to erect the cheap tent you bought at the thrift store.

“I comically said hours ago that I wouldn’t come here, yet here I am. What compelled me to do that?!”

I did, Selena says sternly. Because I pointed out that you not following up on a lead that could give me my own body was breaking a promise to me, and if that happened I would make your life a living Tartarus.

“…Oh yeah,” you think guiltily. “Still, why am I out here when it’s nearly night time with such a stupid flimsy tent?”

Tent is too good a word for this thing. It’s more like worn rags with sticks, Sombra chuckles.

“The point remains chucklebuck, why are we out here so late with such shoddy protection?” you counter.

Because you putzed around with what seemed to be outdated technology on this world, and you acted like a fool in public again. To punctuate that statement, the tent falls down in a pile and you sigh.

“Okay, maybe I skimped on shelter, but I mean, come on, a lot of that stuff is surely going to be useful for whatever machine Jack’s building.”

FLASHBACK

After throwing your hissy fit, and being reminded of your promises and obligations, you decided that it was best to get the forsaken woods over and done with as soon as possible. To help with supplies for such an endeavor, B2 took you to a thrift shop.

“It’s been a long time since I went camping with Grandad. Shame I won’t be able to come with,” he says forlornly.

“Believe me ME, if your Everfree is anything like mine, you’re not missing a danged thing.”

“Yeah, but you get to go out and be in the fresh air, and eat beans from the can. I have got to deal with teenagers tomorrow,” he complains.

“More like a nice hungry bear is going to attack me for trying to eat my lunch, or killer bees that want to sting my chitenless skin…or Bears that shoot bees!”

“Whoa…that’s a metal image,” your counterpart says in contemplation. “Still, teenagers are a pain man. I should know, I used to be one.”

“Oh you’ll be fine,” you hand wave. “Just keep cleaning up things and look for the magic mirror that will be my ticket home when I’m done with this world.”

“Yeah, and how easy is that going to be if I’ve also possibly got to deal with mentoring some high school girl on revenge pranking?” he points out.

“You can multitask, now quit complaining when I’m the one that has to face a giant sea monster and have to take their family heirloom.”

“Good point,” he nods. “But if you do see it, take a picture would ya? That’s gotta be worth something.”

“I don’t have a camera…I should probably get one considering I promised my baby that I’d bring back pics.”

“Oh dude, that’s easy, your phone has a built in camera.”

“It does?!” you say fascinated.

After showing you more functions of your Star Trek looking piece of tech, you both arrived at the thrift store.

Just_another_guy’s Comment

“Alright,” B2 starts, “If you’re gonna keep in contact with me out in the woods, we’re gonna have to get you an external charger for that phone. Preferably one that’s solar powered.”

“Wait, this magic phone can be powered by the sun? Can anything else like my Nook?” you ask in fascination.

“Hmmm. Might have to get a multi cable too. But anyway, you get the camping supplies and I’ll look for those.”

He then walked off into the store to do just that. Shrugging, you were about to look for supplies, but then something caught your eye.

Fireheart1945’s Comment

Down With Chrysallis’s Comment

“OH MY GOSH! Is that a Joy Boy?” you squee. Indeed the gaming device you find on a shelf with other so called “outdated” tech looks exactly like the gaming system back home. The only difference is, it’s called a Game Boy.

“And what’s this game inside…Pokemon? Humans have that too?” you then look at the picture on the cartridge and see a familiar looking red monster with a fiery tail..

Jackpot! You think happily.

But this is a technology we already possess in Eques-

JACKPOT!!! You interrupt Selena causing her to sigh.

“Even without hooves, this will be easy to play.”

Game Boy Added to Inventory.

“Now, back to getting camping su-Oh My Gosh What Is That?!” you yell aloud pointing, causing the mare in your head to sigh again.

Falx_of_Lume’s Comment

“A hoverboard?” you say curiously as you look at the little device with two wheels. “I gotta be reading that wrong, hoverboards are supposed to hover right?...Well only one way to find out.”

Only ten seconds later, and you were regretting that decision.

"W-Whoa! How do you stay uprig-*WHUMP*” you promptly faceplanted into a display case after the board tipped over.

“Ugh! Stupid human legs!” you growl. “Get good at hover boarding!” you then began dusting yourself off from the reused second hand items collected on you, and as you did, you realized there was an arachnid perched on your shoulder.

"Gah!" you panic and flail, not realizing that the spider is in fact made of plastic.

Bugze, calm down. It's just a-

"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" You exclaimed and threw the misleading hoverboard at the toy, which somehow caused the thing to catch fire.

"I…uh…OK,” you muttered in confusion. Whistling nonchalantly, you stomped out the fire and put the destroyed hoverboard in your bag, just in case it’s tech can be salvaged.


Destroyed Hoverboard added to Inventory.


You then grabbed the nearest thing that looked like a tent and high tailed it to B2.

“Hey Bugze, I found the cable and charger and…is something burnring?”

“Nope, just you’re imagination,” you lied.

“I…Ok,” he said unsurely. “Also, if you are gonna be in the woods, I got you something to defend yourself with.

Master of Shadows Comment

WARGAMES’ Comment

“Oh please tell me you have an ion cannon for me?” you asked hopefully.

“Ummm…nooooo,” he said trailing off, looking at you as if you were crazy.“It’s a tazer, you know, because you’re whole non killing fighting style.” He then handed you a square box like thing that emits a small electric current.

“…You know, back home I could create much more than this with my bare hoof right?”

“Yeah, well you don’t exactly have hooves right now do you?” he said smugly.

“…Touché,” you admit and pocket his items.

Tazer

Solar Powered Charger

Multi Cable Added to the Inventory

After that, the two of you walked to the bust station, where B2 got you bus tickets to this accursed camp. You then wished him luck on his first day tomorrow, and he reciprocated. You then boarded yet another evil bus…but…

Randomfastreader’s Comment

Let’s just say, you’re still not comfortable with public transportation,

“All of you bucking smell! How can you stand this death machine! AAAAAHHHH!!!”

And you attempted to use the newly acquired taser on your fellow passengers which resulted in you being thrown off the bus before arriving at your destination, which resulted in you being lost in the woods.

FLASHBACK END

“…Okay, maybe I could have handled things better…but hey, we have a human Joy Boy, some chords and chargers and a nifty tazer.”

And how is that going to get us to this Camp in the Everfree? Selena pointedly asks.

“I…haven’t figured that part out yet. But I’m sure if I just keep walking north tomorrow I’ll find it.

After a few more tries of trying to erect the tent and failing, you just wrap yourself up in the cheap canvas and prepare for a long night in the woods.

A FEW HOURS LATER

Kichi’s Comment

After nearly falling asleep, you are startled when you hear rampant hooting noises in the woods.

“The Buck is that?” you ask in fear. “Is it the Siren?”

Siren’s don’t hoot Bugze, Selena deadpans.

“Well I wouldn’t know, I never met one!” glancing around your campsite, you suddenly spy several eyes staring at you from the trees.

Crapbaskets! You panic as you stand up and brandish your taser. In the light of the small electric current though, the owners of the eyes reveal themselves.

A Monkey! Sombra squeels in glee.

Or rather Monkeys, since there are more than one pair of eyes in the night.

“Well that’s a relief. I thought we were gonna have to deal with Cockatrices again…Although what are monkeys doing in this kind of forest and not the jungle?”

Didn’t your counterpart mention something about an animal preserve?

Yeah. But still I’m glad it’s harmless little monkeys and not-

Without warning, the monkey in your light lets out a maddening hooting chant that gets the others all riled up, and a look of anger comes to their eyes.

“…I knew it, I bucking knew it. Every goramned thing wants to kill me in the Everfree, no matter what world it’s in,” you whimper as you try to take a few steps back. That’s all it takes though for the dam to break, and the horde of monkeys pounce on you.

“AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” you scream to the heavens as you run with several monkeys clawing and biting you.

SEVERAL MORE HOURS LATER

So it turns out that monkeys are incredibly territorial. You found that out first hand as you ran all night with the little bucks trying to claw your eyes out. You stumble out of the trees with ripped up clothing, and more than a few scratches.

“Selly…when we finally get you a body, I want you to remember last night. I want you to remember that I got scratched up and nearly eaten by bucking MONKEYS for you…” you growl grouchily and sleep deprived.

…I’ll not forget it, I swear, she says sounding a bit guilty at your current state.

“And that’s all I ask.”

“Oh My Gosh! What Happened To You?!” comes a startled female voice. You look your left and see a human woman with redish pink skin and a raspberry mane with flowers in it. She has a walking stick and backpack with her and looks extremely worried.

“Monkeys, you filthy humie. It was monkeys,” you groan.


WHAT DO YOU DO?