Dear Princess Celestia,
What gives? I am supposed to be the pony that this show is centered around and this is the second episode this season that I have been excluded from. Oh wait, Cindy Morrow wrote this episode and just like it was when Sweetie Belle got dumped on Rarity by her parents, she decided to exclude me. Ok, I have decided that she is the WORST writer of the show, not to mention a total bitch! Maybe if I'm lucky Hasbro will fire her for excluding the pony that is the reason this show exists, not to mention the pony that generates the most profits for them.
Your Upset Student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
I never knew that my granddaughter was so ashamed of me simply because I forget things sometimes and do not meet her expectations. What she needs to realize is that if it weren't for me, she wouldn't even exist. What surprises me the most is that it was one of those rich fillies, Silver Spoon, that clapped for my story first. Despite Apple Bloom always complaining about her, perhaps she isn't so bad after all. I do hope Apple Bloom will learn in the end that you should never be ashamed of your family, ever.
Your Loyal Subject,
Granny Smith
To my Upset Student,
I am going to tell you exactly what I told you last time. You get excluded for this episode and you have the audacity to bitch about it to me? Look, I almost never get included in an episode unless I have to throw you and your acquaintances a party for "saving" Equestria. Screw that shit Twily, if the writers of this show knew how to truly write great episodes, every single episode would revolve primarily around me. I am the primary princess after all and I think I deserve it.
Equally as Upset,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Cindy Morrow ain't the only writer that is an asshole. Now yes Lauren, Amy and M.A. did include me in episodes but still, they did not center them around me and if it weren't for me, you never would have become my student nor would you be down there making everypony's life miserable so quit your damn bitching and be grateful for what you do get.
Dear Granny Smith,
I must say, I am not thrilled with the behavior of your granddaughter. I never imagined that she would do anything like that and I am disappointed that you didn't beat her senseless like what elders used to do to children who were disrespectful to them. Now if you would have took her out to the woodshed, I would have gave you a medal for teaching her what happens to little cunts like her. If she pulls this shit again, feel free to abuse her mercilessly. If you were to get arrested for foal abuse, I'd pardon you immediately so you'd have nothing to worry about. You have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia