//------------------------------// // A Tumultuous Nightmare // Story: And if I don't belong... // by RejectOwl //------------------------------// Twilight heaved again, more vomit spraying the toilet, she was sure she had expelled the ragwort ages ago, but her stomach was still revolting. Another heave and black spots danced before her eyes. She groaned and hit her head against the toilet. "Twilight? Are you alright?" Spike called. "'m fine Spike, just sick." Twilight lied. Kill me. Kill me. Please gods above kill me. I'm a useless worthless failure anyway. "Are you sure? I could send a letter to Celestia or the hospital." "No!" Twilight screamed. Spike leapt back from the door at the fierceness of her retort. He knew something was very wrong, and for the first time, he ignored Twilight, and went to send a letter to Celestia. The darkness clouded her vision and she blinked to clear her eyes. Had it worked after all? This didn't look like Tartarus, nor Elysium though she doubted she'd get there. "Hello?" She called. "Twilight." A sad voice whispered. She turned to the mare, and stared in shock. It was Night Fire, her cousin who'd died several years ago in an accident. "Twilight, you can't do this. It's not time for you to be here yet." The silver mare said gently. "Where am I?" She croaked. "The boundrylands. I felt you near, and came to try and stop this. You are young Twilight, you have a life ahead of you! Loved ones!" The mare exclaimed. "Yeah, so many, the friends I barely talk to and the family that hurts me?" "Family is much more than blood. "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." it means, family by choice, brothers-in-arms, is a much stronger bond than those you are born to. You are not obligated to love those related to you." The mare said. "Twilight!" A voice was calling her. "Go back Twilight, it is not your time. And maybe this time, have some honesty with your friends." "I-I can't go ba-" What felt like lightning slammed through her and Twilight cried out in pain. "They are calling you back Twilight, you will not have a choice." The lightning again and Twilight coughed as she returned to her body. "She's back now, heart rate elevated by otherwise steady. Take her in, now." There was darkness all around her, fire was coursing through her veins, and a familiar voice was calling her. The scene changed, it was the Everfree Forest now, a mantacore was charging her. Another change and she was being beaten, crawling to try and get away from her tormentor. Whiteness overtook the scene and she was stabbing herself with a knife, then her brother was holding her down. A memory so terrible she screamed and tried to push it away, but it happened anyway again and again. A classroom, a baby dragon, pure elation at leaving behind her family, mistaken as excitement at being taken on as Celestia's personal student. White. Whiteness was everywhere. She could hear crying. "Where am I?" She asked herself aloud. "Twilight!" Spike cried. "You're awake!" "Spike?" Twilight turned to the voice and saw him sitting in a hospital chair. A hospital, she was in a hospital. "You accidentally ate ragwort they called it, so I got the emergency ponies to take you to the hospital. I didn't know what it was but you were convulsing and vomiting and I didn't know what to do." He cried. Twilight's ears went back in anger. Why had that stupid dragon called the paramedics? "How did you mess up and eat poison Twilight?" Spike asked. "I don't know." Twilight lied. The dragon stared at her. "Twilight...you... you didn't eat it by accident, did you?" He whispered. "She did not." A voice answered, somehow angry and sad at once. Princess Luna stepped into the hospital room. "I saw your nightmares Twilight Sparkle, those were more than random fears, they were memories." She stated. "No!" Twilight exclaimed, "They were just nightmares!" "Liar." Luna hissed. "This is why you were so happy to be taken in by my sister when you were just a filly, was it not?" "I am not li-" Twilight coughed, trying to fight back a sob. "Did you tell Celestia?" Twilight asked angrily. "I did not. She only knows you attempted to kill yourself and you are in the hospital, the work it took me to get in here before her was hell let me tell you." "Spike, leave." Luna ordered. The dragon glared. "Now." She barked. The dragon grumbled and left, and Luna cast a spell to insure no creature could eavesdrop. "Twilight Sparkle, you will not lie about the truthfulness of dreams to a princess whose duties are to ward off nightmares. I know truth from fiction in the dreamscape young filly. You were ecstatic when mine sister offered you a personal place in her school, away from home, because your parents were abusing you in unimaginable ways. Were it up to me, they would be dead right now, but since there is no proof of what was done to you, well you can see how the citizens would take a princess executing supposedly innocent citizens. You however will not be returning to them, and you will be given therapy and work on this. I will personally be monitoring you in your home to insure you do not attempt something this rash again. Twilight, there is always a reason to live, no matter the pain of your past." "I'm a shitty friend and an even worse student, so no there is not a reason." She hissed. "So now you admit it was intentional, that is a good step." Luna sighed. "Twilight." She said gently. "You cannot just run away from your problems. And if you had succeeded in ending your life, you would not have erased your pain, instead you would have magnified it and then passed it on to those who love and care for you. Thankfully, Spike has keen senses and knew something was very wrong when he could both smell the poison and feel your anguish." "Spike...sensed it?" Twilight asked. "Indeed, though he knows not precisely what he sensed, or he does and is denying it. His own nightmare was telling." "I'm sorry." Twilight cried beginning to sob. "I just don't know what to do anymore." "Fight. You fight and you beat these demons. You will also be getting therapy, that's not optional, I know all too well what happens when one allows their inner demons to take control of their lives." "I'm so sorry." Twilight sobbed. "Stop. You are in pain Twilight, and you need not be sorry to me. The ones who surely need reassurance are your friends, they will be here soon, I advise honesty, but will not judge you for dishonesty, though Applejack may notice. I shall return Twilight, farewell."