//------------------------------//
// Resort: Dantasy Island- Omnincompetence part 1 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

For the most part, Twilight, for once, wasn't having any problems organizing everyone. With a force of thousands of ponies and griffons, they were easily able to search over the amusement park known as Lunaland for various things that might be useful. Although Dan had been hoping to construct a new ship to replace the sunken All of My Rage, building a new vessel to carry all of them wasn't in the cards. So, they did the next best thing.

"Is Chelsea's group done taking apart the loudspeakers?"

"Eyep," Spike nodded, checking the item off the list. "And Becky's group should be just about done with the P.A system."

"Good. Vinyl should be ready for us to put this thing together." She and Spike were walking through the center of Lunaland, a street called Lunar Avenue towards the Half-Moon Dome, an outdoor auditorium in the center of the park. Everything in the park had been themed with Princess Luna's likeness and colors. There was no trace of Nightmare Moon.

"So let me get one thing straight," Spike said. "Vinyl's bass cannon is the reason we're stuck on this island, and we're using it again to get us off?"

Twilight nodded. "The Bass Cannon wrecked our ship but it shouldn't have any affect on the island. Like the first time it was used when it wrecked the library but not Ponyville." Her voice had more of a hopeful tone in it than she liked, but it was unavoidable.

They continued down the small street. A group of ponies were pulling one of the dark blue moon rover-themed rail trolleys in the center of the street, trying to get it to move again, but the wheels weren't moving.

"Honey Blossom?"

"Enngh! Hey, Twilight," the honey-blonde mare said. "We're trying to get this trolley to move, fix it so we can move supplies on it but it ain't budging."

"Would you like some help?" Twilight offered. "I could use a levitation spell to lift it, maybe see what's wrong with the wheels."

"Sounds good to me. Hey guys, stand back a bit, Twilight's gonna lift it." Honey Blossom ran a flower shop back in Ponyville near Twilight's house. It wasn't the largest, fanciest or most popular floral outlet in Ponyville, but she had plans to expand into Canterlot after WubWay saw success in franchising.

Twilight's horn glowed and the lunar trolley lifted like it was weightless. She didn't even have to close her eyes or even really concentrate. Her magical skill had become than strong. She held it aloft and walked up to it, as did the others to examine the wheels.

"Ahh, here's the problem," a male grey griffon named Swipe said. "Part of the brake is crushed, probably after it ran into something. It's wedged between the wheel and the housing."

"I see it," Twilight said.

"Gonna be hard to get- ohh." As Swipe was talking, the metal began fixing itself. The purple glow of Twilight's magic shimmered intensely around the parts, thousands of tiny sparkles compelling the metal to return to its original shape. Surprisingly, it yielded and the brake popped out of the housing and into its original position. The wheel then spun by itself, then spun faster, followed by the others.

"Looks to be fixed now." Twilight set the trolley down on the rails. She rolled it back and forth a couple times before finally releasing it from her telekinetic grasp. The ponies began pushing it and the griffons began pulling. It rolled smoothly.

"Thanks, Twilight!" Honey Blossom and a couple of the others waved and dragged the trolley off. That was all.

Twilight and Spike both watched the trolley until it rolled out of sight. Finally, they walked onward in silence.

She sighed. "I could've carried ten of those trolleys. A hundred. More," she shook her head.

"I know," Spike said, his more supportive than it should have been. "But you can't carry all of them. I mean, I don't think you could. SHOULD. I meant should. Not that you couldn't have, I just meant that I mean-"

"Spike, it's okay," Twilight said. She looked up at the auditorium. Pegasi and griffons were busy setting up things, flying by, removing wires and whatever was useful. She watched them, swiftly flying, hard at work. "I shouldn't carry all of them. Not all the time, anyway."

"We're not talking about the trolley any more, are we?" She didn't answer him. She didn't have to.

They reached the auditorium. Well, Twilight did- Spike stopped a few feet short. Or rather, he had been stopped. The pegasi and griffons flying around had stopped where they were, the clouds high above had stopped moving, the entire world had become still. Twilight would've found it surprising if it hadn't happened before.

She stepped around to the bleachers. As she suspected, the many blue stands were empty except for a single occupant in a hooded cloak, munching away at some kind of popcorn.

"What do you want, Cleo?"

"Don't call me that," she said. She continued eating, didn't even really pause between bites. It was never possible to tell who was speaking when the Director spoke, or how. The rules just didn't seem to apply to her. "Friends call me that. We're not friends yet."

"Okay. Director. What do you want?"

"What I've always wanted." Munch, snack. "To protect you, all of you. But if I can't get that, I at least want to see a good show." She didn't turn to Twilight. It was as if her eyes were focused on the stage. In front of it was Vinyl Scratch, working on their plan to use the Bass Cannon to contact Ponyville. On the stage itself was, of course, Trixie. Despite that the stands were mostly empty, she seemed to be in the middle of some kind of performance or announcement.

Twilight joined her. "You're trying to protect us from you. That's what you said last time. Because you are... the spirit of Equestria?"

"Eeyup. What's left of it, anyway." His tone was masculine now, that of a young man. He sounded somewhat like Button Mash only a bit older, maybe early teens, more mature. Finally, the Director turned to her. "I have to say, you surprised even me last time."

"Oh... I..." Twilight found herself backing away unintentionally.

"Ooouuh, sorry. Hold on." The Director reached into... something and pulled out a roll of duct tape. She wrapped what was left of her face with it, her jaw hanging aimlessly off to one side. The fragments of bone or... again, something, whatever she was made of, hung in midair like shards of broken glass.

The Director's form, as could be perceived, was composed of discarded or unformed thoughts, concepts and ideas from MLP meshed together like some kind of macabre high school art project. She was a carved effigy of the Fausticorn, the legendary being the supposedly created this version of Equestria long ago. The Director was an unintentional after-product, a force of destruction to counter the use of creation. But she was far older than the Fausticorn. Only the current version had been created by Her.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. Used to it by now," the Director said. When she was done, she smiled, like a broken mirror re-breaking to form a grin. "Better?"

"Umm. Umm. Ummm... yes," Twilight finally said.

"Do not fear the face of death, child. There are far worse things you've yet to face," she said, turning back to her popcorn.

"Is that what you are?" Twilight asked, feeling the chill around her. "Death Pony?"

"No, Twilight Sparkle. I am a reaper of a different sort, and a woeful one at that." The Director turned and grabbed her bag, full to the brim despite her eating it. She offered it to Twilight. "Popcorn?"

Compelled by her thirst for knowledge, not hunger, she levitated a single popped kernel from the bag.

"I'll get him a card. I think he'd be expecting a flower, so... yeah, card, definitely. Maybe a floral card? No, that's too silly. Card with a flower? Maybe. I wonder what he likes, though, maybe I should..."

"It's... speaking?"

"Yeah, that's a good one. Very sweet."

Twilight turned over the kernel and it shimmered, glowed a radiant purple-pink with its own inner light. She could almost, no, she COULD see a mare buying a floral card. "That's... that's Honey Blossom's voice."

"That's her idea, one of them. That's from uhhhh, about a week-and-a-half ago. Wait, no, little over a week."

Twilight could feel it in her head. She wasn't tasting it, she was absorbing it with her mind. "She likes... she likes Reginald, the crystal pony. Tux's manservant. She's thinking of asking him out."

"Yep," the Director said. "She's a strong mare but really shy, has trouble saying how she feels sometimes. In about, uhhhm, two days, she'll get the strength again."

The kernel melted. Not into popcorn or butter but a drop of water. It suddenly rose upward rapidly until it reached the sky.

"That was an idea?!"

"Mmhmm. Enough of them, and Equestria will be full. If it lasts long enough," the Director said. Her head drooped low. She stopped eating. "It never lasts long enough."

"So what? You eat... ideas and you're a reaper of... ideas?!"

"I am a reaper of everything, Twilight Sparkle. Time and again, I am called for the harvest. That which is deemed worthy is spared my blade, but that which is not becomes the soil of the new." Her voice was female again, old, withered. "It is my burden to end all things of this world so that a new one may be formed in its place. Each time, the slate is wiped clean and the chosen depart for the hereafter. The rest is unmade... as if it had never been."

"So you are death. The destroyer of worlds."

"WRONG!" She bellowed, a yell that shook the stadium. She turned sharply to Twilight, rising up to her full height. "Death gives birth to new life and I am cursed to deliver only oblivion! Every time to destroy this world and leave nothing behind, not even a memory of what was so that the new may be unhindered by the past! Every generation forsaken in pursuit of perfection, the chosen going on and I am left with nothing!"

"You... I, I'm sorry." Twilight stepped back. Color, texture, everything, reality itself faded around the Director until the only thing left wasn't even nothingness, but a representation of absence, a white barrier where something should have been. "Is there- is there anything I can do to help?" She was raising her voice, but there was no reason to. The void grew around her, and she found herself compelled to shout into it but how did you even know it was there? It was like being at the edge of a growing bottomless pit.

"Yes, there is, Twilight Sparkle. You must destroy Equestria for me," she said, stepping closer.

"Uhh, no."

"Not all of it! Dammit, will you let me finish? Jeez," she brushed her white hair back. "You can save your friends. Like ninety percent. Look, I've figured it out, all we have to do is just nuke the crap out of Equestria and then I won't have to erase it."

"Wait, so... let me get this straight," Twilight put a hoof to her forehead. "Your plan is to save Equestria by turning into Fallout: Equestria?"

"YES!"

"That's..." Really bucking stupid. "That's a bad idea!"

The Director gave a half-hearted smile. She held up a kernel of popcorn. "Is a bad idea not better than nothing?"

"Well," Twilight rubbed the back of her neck. "I mean, if the idea is THAT bad."

"Hrrrrrrg."

She backed away. "I'm just saying there's some ideas that, y'know, we probably don't need, right? Like movies- have you seen The Stall? Or Pegademic? Those are just movies we kinda don't need."

The Director's fists were balled. "And even THEY had redeeming qualities!"

"Get the squee out."

The Director's pale, pupil-less blue eyes glared at Twilight. "This is the only way, Twilight. Either fire rains down on Equestria or there will be no Equestria. A broken world is better than no world at all. I could've had Vice Grip develop a virus, have it infect most of the population."

"He'd screw it up."

"He would," the Director admitted, "but I considered it anyway. Best to use nukes- like a huge flashbulb going off, leaving an imprint of everything behind. Much better than nothing at all."

Twilight was done talking. She focused her magic, imagined all things in the world stopped in time, the potential to move forward. And then, magically, she willed them to, asked them to. Magic was kind like that. Rather than breaking the rules, it was a request for an exception. In that regard, it was able to find the exception to the rules to allow the exceptional to happen.

"Strong. Very strong. But not strong enough. Stronger than you have tried," the Director said through gritted teeth. "And it's not just me you're fighting. Remember I said that."

Time moved forward again. Went a little fastforward at first, Twilight was still learning, but it corrected itself quickly. The world's color returned and the void the Director exuded faded. Twilight opened her eyes, fully expecting to see the fuming Director standing before her, fists balled in rage.

But the Director was smiling. "You are nothing if not surprising, Twilight Sparkle. And I don't want you to be nothing," she said, fading away. As she finally disappeared, Twilight heard her say all at once, "So please... keep surprising me. I'll be watching."

Spike walked up beside her. "Twilight..."

"Did you hear? Were you able to hear any of that?"

He nodded, looking around. "Is she really watching us?"

Twilight gave something between shrug and nod. "Probably."

"I don't like her, Twilight."

"I don't think she likes her very much, either. C'mon. Let's go see Vinyl."

"Welcome to Lunaland, the most exciting place!
With so much fun and things to do, it's a trip from outer space!
Once you step inside these gates, you're sure to understand!
Princess Luna invites you to join her-in-Lu-na-laaaaaaaaaand!
Presented by Pepsquee."

"Well, good to know Bethesda won't sue anyone," Spike said as they passed a familiar-looking singing animatronic.

As they approached Vinyl, they had one last obstacle to overcome: Fluffle Puff.

"Thpp."

"I know you're hungry, sweetie, but we need to conserve ham. We'll get you more as soon as we can, okay?"

"PHRRRBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHT." Fluffle Puff deflated in front of them. Twilight and Spike stepped over her, only to find in the next scene she was grasping onto their legs.

"What is it, Fluffle?" Twilight asked. She knelt down to Fluffle, who was crawling and holding a scroll in her mouth. Twilight unfurled it after wiping off the fluffle-slobber.

It was a diagram of a theme park. Not the one they were in, but another one entirely. The title Fluffle Puff World was artfully decorated at the top, a proud and fluffy banner. The park displayed had a giant petting zoo, a place called the Puppy Palace, the Kitty Cat Castle, Pillow Mountain, Sweetsville and in the center a giant structure made of fluff called the Fluffle Cathedral. It looked like a newer, fluff-fantasy version of central Equestria. In the top-right corner of the diagram, there was a crude drawing of the Fluff Cathedral vaporizing a Star Destroyer.

Twilight pointed at the doodle. "Do you keep drawing that?"

"Thpppth." Maybe. I dunno.

"Awwww, Fluffle wants her own amusement park," Spike said. "Do I get to share a castle with Rarity, Fluffle?"

Fluffle bit the scroll and swallowed it, which somehow transferred it back to her possession without her ingesting it and simultaneously informed Spike, Maybe?

"How are we doing, Vinyl?"

"Things are looking good here, Twilight," she said, taking a moment to look up from her work. "And hey, I appreciate you trusting me and Bassy to get the job done.

"Bassy?"

"And I can assure you one-hundred-and-ninety-nine percent that the Bass Cannon won't do anything crazy like disintegrate the island or capsize the island or somehow in any other way destroy the island. I'm sure."

Twilight and Spike and Fluffle exchanged glances. "We never assumed it would."
"Thppth."

"The point is, it won't," Vinyl said, always sporting her trademarked DJ PON-3 grin and shades.

"Having second thoughts about this, Twilight," Spike said.

And that was when Becky, Chelsea and the Blasties arrived. All four of them swooped down to deliver boxes of supplies to Vinyl.

"Twilight, I managed to reconfigure the loudspeakers into the transmitter dish we needed," Chelsea said.

"That's great news."

"And I managed to reconfigure all the intercom boxes into the receiver we needed," Becky said.

"Awesome job, Becky."

And then, Blast Fuse showed up. "And we managed to reconfigure all these toilet paper rolls into bombs!"

Twilight looked at the toilet paper roll with the wires and lights attached to it. "That's... okay, then." The Blasties continued beaming, grinning giant shiny smiles at Twilight. "Good girls," she finally said, patting them on their adorable heads.

"I guess we could use them if we needed to defend ourselves," Spike said. "But that was all of our toilet paper supply."

"Relaxy, Spikey," Powdey said. She pulled over their box of supplies. "We still have a hundred barrels of Dustchu's patented Awesome Sauce."

Crowd goes "Wut." collectively. On the front of the box was a picture of Dustin's face, winking.

"I don't want to know what's in those boxes."

"Relax, Twilight, it's just thousand island mixed with ketchup," Fusey explained. She opened the box.

Twilight stepped forward. "Wait a minute, that says 'Awesome Saws." Not sauce."

Fusey lifted a diamond-edged MLP-themed chainsaw out of the box. "Wow. So it's Dustchu's Awesome SAWS."

Spike nodded. "I'm more comfortable with this."

Trixie trotted up to them. "Excuse me, everypony, I have an announcement!"

"You're not doing any shows on the island," Twilight flatly stated.

"WAIT!" Blast Fuse said. "Did you hear what she just said? She said 'I have an important announcement!' She didn't refer to herself in third-pony!"

*Gasp!*
*Thpppth!*

"What is it, Trixie?"

"We have a problem, Twilight Sparkle. The ponies that were sick on the ship, they're still sick. And they're attacking everypony else!"

"Oh crap. Zombies again," Spike said. "Fusey, gimme one of Dustchu's Awesome Saws(patented Dustchu Technologies Inc.)."

Trixie shook her head. "It's worse than that." The curtain fell down behind them, crashing to the floor. Octavia and a group of ponies, all of whom had been seasick, were glaring angrily at Vinyl, Twilight and the others. Fluffle Puff deflated again.