//------------------------------// // Episode 7: Car Ride Talks and Sweet Shop Stops // Story: Life at Canterlot High // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// You know I couldn't tell what was worse, the fact that two girls were able to drag me against my will to a car that I swear is Rainbow's ego personified, or the fact that this all happened in broad daylight with multiple witnesses and yet no one tried to help or called the cops! Just...Just how many people have you kidnapped Pinkie?! How often does this happen that no one bats a eye about it!? I'm honestly afraid to ask, and even more afraid of what the answer to these questions is. Anyway, I had given up struggling once we reached Rainbow's car. I figured there was no point in trying to get away at that point seeing as how Rainbow could probably tackle me down before I even made it three feet. That and the buses had all left during my struggle, so I had nowhere else to go and I was not running home with those two on my tail. So with those factors I decided to resign myself to Pinkie’s schemes. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t complain my ass off though. "Seriously Rainbow, this is your car?" I asked, looking at the vanity mobile on wheels. Rainbow gave me a half-hearted glare before she said, "Hey I'll have you know this baby was a gift from my parents once I got my license!" I just raised my brow at this and looked it over. The rainbow design of the vehicle also had a flame like design to it, making it look like the car was burning rainbows. Despite it’s size, it was a four seater, and it looked like the roof could come down. "You're telling me your parents bought you a sports car of all things after you got your license?" "Yeah...” she admitted, blushing slightly. “My parents are sorta...kinda...they really spoil me. I would have been fine with a cheaper car, but they insisted on buying the Speed Demon 3000 so there was really nothing I could do." I got flashbacks to all then times my mother bought me something super expensive despite my objections, and in doing so I ended up nodding in agreement with Rainbow of all people. "Yeah, my mom can be like that too. Heh, one time sh-wait a second!" Rainbow's words had finally registered in my head. "Speed Demon 3000!? What kind of car company brands their cars with a name like that!?" This time its Pinkie who answers me as she-whoa hey too close Pinkie! "Only the most dangerous, fastest, daredevil sponsoring, awesome packed car company ever!" Pinkie answered, getting way too close for comfort to my face. I leaned my head as far back as possible since I couldn't exactly back away from the Pink Menace since she and Rainbow were still holding me hostage. Dang it Pinkie! You and Rainbow need a lesson in what personal space is! Or at the very least realize I don't like being close to you! Both in the metaphorical and literal way! My thoughts aside I just gave Pinkie a deadpanned glare before I said, "So what, Toyota? Ford? Some European country I’ve never heard of?” "No silly!” Pinkie giggled. “It's a local car shop in town! They have this awesome policy that lets us blah blah blah blah..." Seeing as Pinkie was going into another one of her long winded stories, I decided to drown her out and stare at the locally built vehicle. Despite the ego boosting it did to Rainbow’s name, I had to admit it seemed like a kinda cool car. The burning rainbows actually worked and were awesome. ... Rainbow can never know I thought her car looked cool or I will never hear the end of it! "And then the place kinda caught on fire when it reopened last year, but only one person got seriously burned so it’s still in business making dangerously fast cars today!" .. "What?" Pinkie just giggled at my dumbfounded expression, despite it being totally valid hearing about death and fire. Before I could voice my questions about what the hell Pinkie was talking about I was shoved into the back of Dash's car. The seats we're leather, so they were only semi-comfortable. I don't know why, I just could never be fully comfortable with sitting on leather. I blame...well I don't know what I blame but still I just don't find leather very comfortable, especially in Summer. My preference of what I like to sit on aside, I sent a glare Pinkie's way. "Really? Did you have to shove me into the car?" "Oh please dude,” Rainbow scoffed from the driver seat. “If she didn't you know you would have made a run for it." "…You do realize that what you just said was what a kidnapper would say right?" I deadpanned. "We aren't kidnappers silly!” Pinkie giggled. “We're just forcibly taking you to an unknown location against your will to make you do something you probably don't want to do!" She then proceeded to smile like an innocent school girl like what she just said wasn't morally wrong in any way... ... "Pinkie, that is exactly what a kidnapper is! That is literally the definition!" "Yeah Pinks, you should work on your phrasing,” Rainbow agreed. "What?!” Pinkie yelped in shock looking between me and Rainbow. “But a kidnapper takes people to do bad things! We're taking Mikey here to do fun things! That’s completely different!" "Well Pinks, what if a kidnapper’s idea of fun is considered bad by the kidnapee?” Rainbow argued. "But Dashiiiiieeee! We aren't going to do anything bad! We’re not even going to hold him for ransom! We're just taking him to Sugarcube Corner to meet up with the others, then going on a tour of the town! That's not bad or illegal!" What...what kind of conversation is this?! Since when is this a normal discussion topic for high school girls?! Is there something in this town’s water supply? Before I could ponder more on that line of thinking, I realized that Pinkie had slipped up during her talk with Rainbow. "Wait, what's Sugarcube Corner?" My question managed to end their kidnapping conversation loop and Pinkie gave me an almost blinding smile. "Only the greatest and bestest place in the whole wide world! It’s a place of joy and wonder and happiness and I love working there so much!” "Work there? You...you have a job?" I sputtered incredulously. The complete and utter doubt in my voice must have been pretty obvious as Pinkie deflated, sound effect and all. What the-What?! I blubbered at her personal sound effect, while she spoke. "Awwww, of course I have a job! How else would I be able to afford all my super-duper parties?" "Ignoring the fact you just said super-duper without any hint of sarcasm, I just find it hard to believe a hyperactive person like you can work anywhere without destroying the place in some sort of confetti related explosion." "Well I mean, heh heh...that only happened one time,” she chuckled nervously. “And that was only because my sisters were in town and I really wanted to impress them with how good I was at work!" This actually managed to catch my interest, and by interest I mean utter terror. The prospect of having more than one Pinkie was bringing the whole clone thing to the forefront of my mind, and made me consider the benefits of admitting myself to an asylum. One Pinkie’s bad enough, but even more would spell the end of my loner lifestyle! I better dig deeper to figure out just how many anti-Pinkie supplies I need to buy. "So you have sisters huh?” “Yup Yuperooni! Three to be exact.” “Oh…Joy…” I ground my teeth in anguish. “And I’m guessing they’re all like you?” "Oh no, I’m one of a kind,” she explained. “Limestone can be a grouch, and Marble is like super shy and quiet and my sister Maud is the exact opposite of me, like polar opposite. We all do like having fun though, and like any sisters we sometimes fight, but they’re still the best sisters a girl can ask for!” Pinkie smiled after saying this, but this one seemed sorta...forced to me. And call me crazy, but did I just hear a sad tone coming from Pinkie? That seemed so un-Pinkie like that even I thought it was weird, but before I could say anything Rainbow interrupted. "Alright guys, we're here!" My eyes widened in surprise at that as I looked out my window and saw we were indeed in a completely different location. Wha...How!? I thought dumbfounded. I didn't even feel the car move! How focused was I with my conversation with Pinkie!? Rainbow seemed to notice my dumbfounded look as she chuckled. I gave her an annoyed glare, which only seemed to make her laugh even more. "Hehehe don't worry dude, you’re not the first person to be surprised by how awesome my car is. Zero to Sixty in a snap and as silent as the grave." "That...that doesn't make any sense!" Rainbow rolled her eyes and pointed at the doors. “Sound dampening for our benefit. Outside, the folks get quite the earful.” She then got out of the car, with Pinkie following suit. I wonder if there's any chance I could just stay in here...nah, even I'm not that desperate to avoid social situations as to hide in a car. That's just sad. With another sigh I got out of the car and I could only stare at the building in front of me in surprise. I mean when you see a huge, real life gingerbread house what else are you supposed to do? "Hehehe, man I love it when new people see Sugarcube Corner, their faces are always priceless,” Rainbow snickered. Ignoring Rainbow's usual mocking laughter I turned towards Pinkie and asked the most important question in the universe. "Is the building edible, and if so is it illegal to eat the whole thing?" "Hehehe no silly, concrete doesn't taste that good,” she said matter of factly. “Trust me, I've tried it with whip cream and even chocolate syrup and it still tasted terrible. Plus it’s really bad for your teeth!" Oh, so it’s one of those fake buildings used to advertise the town for tourists? I thought in melancholy, my shoulders actually drooping. That sucks. And now I really want gingerbread! And before I knew it, Rainbow and Pinkie grabbed me again and started to drag me into the building. Instead of struggling, which I knew it would be futile, I instead did the next best thing. Complaining like a middle aged housewife in a check out line. "Do you guys really have to drag me?" "Not really, but it’s pretty fun seeing your frustrated face when we do." One day Rainbow, one day I will so get you back for this! I was about to drop another clever complaint to the Rainbow Speed Freak, when we crested the doorway and my jaw literally dropped. "Huh, not that many people today huh Pinks?" "Nah Dashie, it’s just the aftermath of the lunch rush. Things will pick back up in another hour for sure." I completely ignored my kidnappers’ conversation as I looked around in awe. My brain tried to comprehend the sight of so many heavenly handcrafted sweets. The more I looked around the more my jaw started to get further and further from the rest of my face. The entire inside of the building was covered with display cases. Left and right, all around me were what looked like the most delicious sweets I've ever seen in my life. Holy mother of sweetness...I think I've been dragged to the holy land of all things pastry! There were double decker chocolate fudge cakes, multi-layer cheese cakes, even freaking cream puffs stacked on top of each other to make a mini cake! "Hehehe, looks like Sugarcube Corner has another new regular huh Pinkie?" I wasn't looking at her since I was so distracted with all the sweets, but I could still feel the smile she had on her face when she said, "Looks like it Dashie! I knew bringing Mikey here would be a good idea! No one can resist the tastiness that is here after all!" And God help me, she was right. I was mentally eating all the sweet artery clogging masterpieces with my eyes. The smells lifted my curmudgeonly spirits, and a part of me was legitimately thankful I’d been kidnapped…Only a little part though. I turned to the Pink Menace who was overjoyed by my dopey expression. "Pinkie…You actually work here?" "Yeppers! I've been working with the Cake's here since junior high! I'm been here so long they even named a few dishes after me!" she said and nodded at impossible speeds. Somehow...that just makes sense. Figures the pastry land of the gods is also the same place Pinkie works at. Hell, no wonder she’s so hyperactive. Her diet must consist entirely on these sweets. I wonder if there's any chance they do take out so I can avoid awkward small talk at the register... *Grumble* And like that my stomach suddenly let out a grumble so loud I bet deaf people could of heard it. I usually don't get embarrassed when something like this happens, but when there's only a few people in a room, and your stomach lets off the sounds of a dying beluga whale, one can’t help but be self conscious, especially when all eyes in the room turned to me. Of course this meant nothing to my kidnappers as Rainbow sent Pinkie a smug smile, who in turn only had the biggest smile ever. Dear lord Pinkie your mouth's eating your face!!! "Oh this is perfect timing! I'll go whip us up some snacks! Rainbow, think you can help me out with the cooking?" The way Pinkie said that last bit was kinda suspicious, and Rainbow seemed to agree as she sent Pinkie a questioning glance. "Uh, no offense Pinks but I'm not exactly on your level of cooking skill. Besides I wanna stick around and watch the firewo-" "Great! Let's go make some snacks! Girls, do you mind keeping Michael company while we get cooking?" Before I could even wonder who Pinkie was talking to, a southern accent answered from behind me. "Sure thing Sugar cube, we'll keep your...friend company." And like that Pinkie took off with a protesting Rainbow in tow. I would have taken my time to bask in the karmic justice of that, if I didn't have to deal with a new problem. Turning around I was greeted by the sight of cowgirl Flappjack or whatever her name was and the fancy fashionista girl from the lunch table yesterday. ... ... ... "Just so we're clear, you're now associates to kidnapping."