//------------------------------// // bonus chapter. Princess Luna // Story: The Tea Time Invasion // by Rambling Tree //------------------------------// Princess Luna considered herself the forgiving type. She forgave the guards for always leaving the toilet seat up. She forgave the maids for their harmless snooping and idle gossip. She forgave the nobility for being insufferable. It wasn’t their fault that Celestia acted more like an absentee parent than a responsible leader. Thus letting them get away with whatever they wanted and learning absolutely nothing in the process. And finally, she forgave her sister for overreacting to a minor disagreement that ended with her stuck in a hellish state of almost existing for a thousand years. But what she could not and refused to forgive was not being informed when crisis arrived. No matter how minor or annoying. She was a princess too, darn it. And she deserved to be treated as such. Her authority should have been absolute. But noooooooo. Let her sleep, Celestia would say. She needs her beauty rest the maids would argue. Waking up sleeping princess’s isn’t covered under hazard pay the guards would profess. And on and on it went. Luna would sleep through emergency after catastrophe. Because they all happened during the day. Luna stabbed her paintbrush at the canvas. Putting yet another hole in it. The castle had run out of white paint ​again.​ So she had settled for for the therapeutic approach and simply stabbed the stars into existence. It was either that or terrorizing the castle quartermaster for a second time. She was still soothing the poor stallions nightmares. Ponies these days were so sensitive. Not at all like the hardened warriors of the Lunar Guard elites she had left behind. They always stood their ground when faced with her wrath. Even considered it a right of passage. It was painfully obvious that these modern ones were just solar guards playing dress up. Luna grabbed a different brush with her blue magic and began painting around the holes. She caught the glint of silver armor on the edge of her vision accompanied by light rattling as the guard trembled at his post. No doubt intimidated by her presence. Luna expelled her annoyance with a blast of hot air from her nostrils. “Guard, you are excused.” She grumbled with a scowl in his direction. “B-but your m-majesty.” the guard stammered. “We said GO.” The guards spear spun in place from his hasty departure before clattering to the fine marble floor. Luna growled and opted for stabbing the space in between the stars into existence as well. A real Lunar guard would have stood their ground. Maybe even argued back. She appreciated the gesture from Celestia when she remade her guard for her but at the same time she resented it for obvious reasons. “Why so glum, chum?” Discord strolled onto the half painted moonscape of the painting with a large smile. His body matching Luna’s artistic style. Luna glowered at him. “We are ​not​ glum. ‘Tis anger you see upon our brow.” She painted over him but he simply sidestepped the wet paint. ”What do you want? monster.” “Is that anyway to greet a friend? And after everything I've done for you too.” Discord flopped back into a lawn chair while wearing comically oversized sunglasses. He stretched than took a sip of something dangerously fruity. “Loving the view by the way. Very ​you​. This blue smudge is especially lovely.” He pointed at the spot where Luna had tried to paint over him. Luna Ignored the comment and stabbed the painting just above Discords head. “Thou hast done nothing for us. Ever.” She left the brush hanging and sat down in a huff. “Really? What about that one time I warned you about an evil force attacking Canterlot.” “I would remember if such a thing had occurred.” “My mistake. Sometimes I misplaced my tenses.” Discord grabs the hanging brush and uses it as a back scratcher. “You know, your almost as easy to annoy as your sister.” Luna takes a deep calming breath and releases it all at once. Than leans back in her chair and pours herself a drink from the coffeepot a fast retreating servant had left. “Oh? please, do tell.” She took a drink. It was bitter, like her soul. Discord tosses the paintbrush to the side where it disappears in a puff of moondust and a small explosion. “What's to tell? Though I’m starting to think Celestia doesn’t like me.” He pouts. Luna nods somewhat sagely before reaching over and extinguishing the tiny fire that had sprung up. “And I’m sure the several dozen pranks a day you play on her has nothing to do with it.” “No. Why would they? They’re just a few harmless gags between friends. Why if I didn’t, how would she know I cared” Discord Smirks and makes obscenely loud slurping noises with his straw. Luna takes a sip. “By respecting her wishes to not be pranked?” “Oh Luna, don’t be silly. That’s not how friendship works” Discord smiles placidly. She shrugs. “Than i’m sure returning you to stone will just be how she expresses her friendship.” Discord frowns and opens his mouth to speak but his interrupted by a loud explosion going off somewhere outside the castle. “Did I mention there was a force of evil attacking Canterlot?” Luna stares at him for a moment. She then stands without a word and takes a running leap out the nearest window. Her wings snap open and she banks towards where the noise came from. “Good talk. We should do this again sometime.” Discord yells after her. “No, we shouldn’t.” Luna calls back from a distance. “We’re such good friends. I can tell.” Discord says to no one in particular then disappears with a snap and a flash. Leaving behind a lawn chair and fruity drink on the barren painted moonscape. --------------- Outside the castle Luna catches sight of a great many dark shapes throwing themselves against the various closed gates of the outer castle walls. She lands atop the largest gate and addresses the pony stationed there. “You there, Guard. Report.” The guard turns and cowers backwards in surprise before visibly gathering his courage. “I don’t know what's going on, your majesty. They appeared suddenly and started throwing themselves against the castle gates.” “What manner of creatures are they?” Luna asks before lighting her horn and exposing the cobblestone road below. Her eyes widen in shock. “Bunnies?” Shock quickly turns to obvious disappointment. “Why did it have to be cute fuzzy animals.” she says and slumps lethargically. “I guess we better call in an expert.” ---- The next morning at the breakfast table Luna recounts the events of that night. “And that’s how Fluttershy saved Canterlot.” She then sighed and picked absently at her barely touched pancakes. Celestia gigles. “Chin up Luna, It’s not that bad. At least you have plenty of free time.” She looks wistfully out the nearest window. “What I wouldn’t give for a quiet day in which absolutely nothing happens.” “You can keep your quiet days, sister. I did not spend a thousand years on the moon to come home and sit around in an empty castle doing the exact same thing as before. Nothing!” Luna stabbed a pancake with her fork like it owed her bits and shoved the entire thing in her mouth. “Oh luna. The Castle’s not empty. Did you forget about the the fully stocked rec room? Or the gym. We even have an indoor pool. That last one took some doing but i was determined to have one.” Luna masicates her pancakes and washes it down with a swig straight from the coffee pot. Celestia sips her tea quietly. “There’s the guard too.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. A thoroughly unamused Luna stood. “It is time I retired for the morn. Good day, sister.” “Sleep well.” Celestia said as she watched her go. A moment later a guard burst into the room. “Princess!” He shouted. “Evil forces are attacking!” Celestia groaned. “Again?” One of the guards stationed near the door raised a hoof. “Should we inform Princess Luna?” Celestia thought for a moment. “No, she probably needs her rest” She finally said before standing with a resigned sigh. “Well time to go see what they want. If nothing else I could always use a new coaster.”