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// Sweet and Elite 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
//------------------------------//

Dear Princess Celestia, 

I have said it before and I am going to say it again, Rarity is an attention whore.  The little bitch has the audacity to lie about her cat being sick so she can relocate my party up to Canterlot just so she can mingle with the rich snobs who aren't deserving of the air they breathe.  It is moments like this that cause me to know that she is not the Element of Generosity, she is just a disloyal bitch who puts the rich snobs ahead of those who she claims are her friends. 

Oh and I do have some advice, you may want to tell Fleur de Lis to rein in her husband and punish him for flirting with Rarity so much.  Personally I'd like to see her give little miss priss a couple of black eyes but apparently she is too prissy and weak to do anything to prevent her husband from possibly cheating on her. 

Overall, this had to be the worst trip back to Canterlot out of all of them.  I discovered that an alleged friend only cares about her VIP status up here and that she has an absolutely horrid taste in ponies that she likes to associate with.  Why bother with them when she could come hang out with me instead.  Yeah she's not the spa twins but she'd suffice in the event I had nopony else to have fun with. 

Despising Rarity, 

Twilight Sparkle





Dear Princess Celestia, 

I thought I had it made up here.  I thought I was going to be able to leave Ponyville, come up here and become the Very Important Pony that everypony loves.  I even got Fancy Pants to flirt with me and invite me into his luxury box at the derby but then my friends had to show up and ruin everything.  

Seriously, Applejack behaving like a ruffian ripping weeds out of the ground and Fluttershy finally becoming friends with your idiotic birds?  Both of them are uncouth and Pinkie isn't any better, nor is Rainbow but don't even get me started on Twilight.  She had the audacity to mention I made that horrible dress for her in front of what I thought would be my new friends and now they think I'm some sort of joke.

I don't know how it happened but before I left Fleur de Lis paid me a visit and told me to stay away from her husband.  Knowing my luck Twilight probably approached her over this just to spite me.  Dumb bitch anyway, maybe someday she'll fall for a married mare and I can approach her wife to pay her a visit. 

On a final note, could you fire Hayseed Turnip Truck?  He dumped water on me and I'm not one bit pleased. 

Your Upset Subject, 

Rarity





To Rarity's Worst Enemy, 

So she moved your party to Canterlot, big deal.  I know you had cake but I was not invited despite you knowing how much I love my cake so guess what, I don't give a shit about your problems.  You can bitch, cry and whine all you want but all you'll get out of me is an amused chuckle.

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia





To My Upset Serf, 

Ugh, out of all your friends, you are by far the dumbest.  You, a country bumpkin from Ponyville, think that you can come up here and befriend all the most undesirable assholes in this city?  I know they thought you were all that and a bag of chips but thanks to your friends and Twilight, you were exposed for the fraud you are.  I'm glad they did it too because I don't like seeing a pony's ego getting fed too much.

Oh and could you please stop hitting on married stallions?  You may say your friends are uncouth but it is very uncouth for an Element bearer to go hitting on ponies that are already taken. 

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia