Dear Princess Celestia,
I am not thrilled with Cindy Morrow right now, more pissed than anything else. She wrote an episode without me in it! What a bitch she is to not include me in an episode. Could you please contact Hasbro and see to it that this doesn't happen again.
Pissed at Cindy Morrow,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
I demand that you charge my parents with neglect or child abandonment. They dropped me off with my bitch sister and claimed they would be gone for seven days but I know that is bullshit or I would not have had a ton of luggage dropped off with me. If you don't do that, at least let me live with Applejack since she is a real sister.
Sincerely,
Sweetie Belle
Dear Princess Celestia,
I am not happy right now. My parents had the audacity to dump my little sister off with me, not for a week, but for good when they know that I am a busy businesspony. How am I supposed to watch her and run my shop at the same time? Even worse, Sweetie Belle is so uncouth. The things she wanted us to do together are things that a lady should not be engaging in.
To top things off, she ruined my cashmere wool sweater and those things are not easy to come by and the fact that she wants Applejack as her sister since apparently I'm too big of a bitch really makes me mad. I do have one question, could you either force my parents to take Sweetie Belle back or at least make Applejack accept her as a sister since she loves her so much?
I have a business to run and I can't be bothered with her so I would much appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Rarity
To My Pissed Off Student,
You have the audacity to bitch to me about not being included in an episode? I am almost never included in the show but I don't go bitching about it. Just get over yourself already, alright?
Glad you Finally Got Excluded,
Princess Celestia
Dear Sweetie Belle,
Sorry you have shitty parents who dumped you with your even shittier sister but since they left you with family, there is nothing I can do. Yes Rarity is a bitch, I will agree with you there, but she did take part in that stupid race with you so she can't be all bad, right?
Seriously though, go and bitch to somepony who actually gives a shit.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
To Rarity,
Now I know why Twilight thinks you are such a bitch. If I didn't know any better I'd think you two were related given the way all both of you know how to do is bitch, whine and complain about anything and everything. Regarding your sister, sorry but you are stuck with her. Applejack is already stuck with one little hellion, I doubt she wants to be burdened with two of them.
Yes Sweetie Belle may seem unrefined to you and yes those activities she wants you two to do together don't sound all that appealing but just be a good sister and placate her, alright?
Signed,
Your Overlord Celestia
P.S. Oh it was nice of you to degrade yourself by taking part in that race with your sister, maybe she'll quit bitching for a while now.